tailz of dushbagery

Zombies Tossed My Salad!

So, there I was laying in my bed, just falling asleep, when the fire alarm in my building goes off. Now, that thing as shit, and I'm freaking out, because I think some thing is actually wrong. Then I meet some one going down the stairs, and she tells me it was pulled. Some fucking drunk ass mother fucker thought it would be funny to pull the god damn fire alarm in a building of sleeping college kids. I was ready to stab some one.

So what are your tales of shit that other people have done?

AHH!

I shot my brother in law in the back about 30 times when we were playing paintball. We were on the same teams and it was the last round that we were playing.

to stay on topic some cop gave me a speeding ticket for no reason

Zombies Tossed My Salad!

AHH! wrote:

I shot my brother in law in the back about 30 times when we were playing paintball. We were on the same teams and it was the last round that we were playing.

See, thats just funny

Janson

ZeroZero wrote:

So, there I was laying in my bed, just falling asleep, when the fire alarm in my building goes off. Now, that thing as shit, and I'm freaking out, because I think some thing is actually wrong. Then I meet some one going down the stairs, and she tells me it was pulled. Some fucking drunk ass mother fucker thought it would be funny to pull the god damn fire alarm in a building of sleeping college kids. I was ready to stab some one.

So what are your tales of shit that other people have done?

This doesn't happen every month for you?

Ah...so many fond memories of standing outside at 4am in pyjamas...not

Tube

Janson wrote:

ZeroZero wrote:

So, there I was laying in my bed, just falling asleep, when the fire alarm in my building goes off. Now, that thing as shit, and I'm freaking out, because I think some thing is actually wrong. Then I meet some one going down the stairs, and she tells me it was pulled. Some fucking drunk ass mother fucker thought it would be funny to pull the god damn fire alarm in a building of sleeping college kids. I was ready to stab some one.

So what are your tales of shit that other people have done?

This doesn't happen every month for you?

Ah...so many fond memories of standing outside at 4am in pyjamas...not

I remember a time when some idiot would pull the alarm maybe three times a night, convinced it was the funniest thing in the world.

Polago

Cardboard Tube wrote:

Janson wrote:

ZeroZero wrote:

So, there I was laying in my bed, just falling asleep, when the fire alarm in my building goes off. Now, that thing as shit, and I'm freaking out, because I think some thing is actually wrong. Then I meet some one going down the stairs, and she tells me it was pulled. Some fucking drunk ass mother fucker thought it would be funny to pull the god damn fire alarm in a building of sleeping college kids. I was ready to stab some one.

So what are your tales of shit that other people have done?

This doesn't happen every month for you?

Ah...so many fond memories of standing outside at 4am in pyjamas...not

I remember a time when some idiot would pull the alarm maybe three times a night, convinced it was the funniest thing in the world.

Until being nutclubbed with a bear hopefully.

Tube

PolaGo wrote:

Cardboard Tube wrote:

Janson wrote:

ZeroZero wrote:

So, there I was laying in my bed, just falling asleep, when the fire alarm in my building goes off. Now, that thing as shit, and I'm freaking out, because I think some thing is actually wrong. Then I meet some one going down the stairs, and she tells me it was pulled. Some fucking drunk ass mother fucker thought it would be funny to pull the god damn fire alarm in a building of sleeping college kids. I was ready to stab some one.

So what are your tales of shit that other people have done?

This doesn't happen every month for you?

Ah...so many fond memories of standing outside at 4am in pyjamas...not

I remember a time when some idiot would pull the alarm maybe three times a night, convinced it was the funniest thing in the world.

Until being nutclubbed with a bear hopefully.

There were like four or five guys who would do it over and over for like a week. If I'd been in charge I seriously would have kicked them out.

Jedi Renegade

I'm really lucky, so far there's only been like 4 fire alarms in my hall this whole academic year and none of them have been from assjockeys setting them off for a laugh.

MasterDebater

Back when they were designing good ol' SLO, they decided to put the train tracks RIGHT THROUGH THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING TOWN.

Not even little commuter trains. Giant freight trains that seem to come only between 1 and 4 am.

grug

doesn't that like, make perfect sense.

grug

the town needs goods to be delivered

grug

doesn't take a genius to figure that out

Meiz

People who can't flush a toilet properly, seriously what the fuck?

Wezoin

School principal out of nowhere banning anyone from going on the second floor during lunch, insisting that 1800 students jam themselves into a cafeteria with a fire code limit of 300 people everyday for lunch, banning all school clubs from fundraising, and emptying several of the club's bank accounts. All in ONE day.

Calebros

Some jackass decided to build my high school with only one floor and then overcrowd it 50 years later

What the fuck, guy

Polago

Meiz wrote:

People who can't flush a toilet properly, seriously what the fuck?

Somewhat related: People who spray turds all over bathroom walls.

<3

PolaGo wrote:

Meiz wrote:

People who can't flush a toilet properly, seriously what the fuck?

Somewhat related: People who spray turds all over bathroom walls.

A lot of people

Cerpin Taxt

People who watch MTV and actually have the gall to get upset when I attempt to kill them with farm implements.

lostwords

Fat people on the metro. You're fat, why would you insist on sitting next to me in a space that can only fit one of your butt cheeks, then give me a dirty look when I brush up against you to give you more inadequate space, like its my fault you're taking up so much space? Effin fatties

autono-wally, erotibot300

god I hate fat people
edit: especially fat chicks

tsplitter

lostwords wrote:

Fat people on the metro. You're fat, why would you insist on sitting next to me in a space that can only fit one of your butt cheeks, then give me a dirty look when I brush up against you to give you more inadequate space, like its my fault you're taking up so much space? Effin fatties

sit on their lap

lostwords

tsplitter wrote:

lostwords wrote:

Fat people on the metro. You're fat, why would you insist on sitting next to me in a space that can only fit one of your butt cheeks, then give me a dirty look when I brush up against you to give you more inadequate space, like its my fault you're taking up so much space? Effin fatties

sit on their lap

Well, usually fat people on the metro always have at least 2 bags of groceries or work stuff or dead babies or something they insist on sitting on their lap. And you know fat people would never let go of food.

Butters

Some idiot in my dorm freshman year at Case thought that putting a plastic cup over his smoke detector would provide enough cover for him to have 4 people smoke a bong in his room. The alarm went off like 3-4 times that night.

tsplitter

I admit to being pudgy, but i have never been "take up two seats" pudgy


which is actually called fat

Gafoto

I'm going to summarize the rest of the thread so you guys don't need to continue:

Fat people, they sure are fat!
Some guy who pissed me off over something small and insignificant once.
Smoker, oh those darn smokers, always smoking!
People who don't agree with my political/religious ideas, they must be crazy.

Marathon

This tale comes from just last night. My wife was up feeding the baby and I was half asleep. All of a sudden we hear a banging coming from the downstairs apartments that sounded like either someone was trying to break the door down or some drunk moron was in the wrong place (happened last year).

So I venture out of bed at about 2am to see what the hell the deal is becuase the banging is so loud. The guys doing it notice me and make mention into their cell phone about "some guy who is looking at them." I ask if everything is alright and this dick responds "im trying to get into my apartment, is that okay?" I tell him that it's fine and that it just sounded like he was trying to break the door down. To this he responds "if I was trying to do that I would have just kicked it down."

I left it at that, I should have told the bastard to just use a fucking key next time.


In regards to the pulling of the fire alarms, that happened about twice a week in the dorms my freshman year. They once did it while I was in the shower...good times.

taoistlumberjak

Gafoto wrote:

I'm going to summarize the rest of the thread so you guys don't need to continue:

Fat people, they sure are fat!
Some guy who pissed me off over something small and insignificant once.
Smoker, oh those darn smokers, always smoking!
People who don't agree with my political/religious ideas, they must be crazy.

you forgot ex-significant others, they sure are bitches/assholes

Cerpin Taxt

Gafoto wrote:

I'm going to summarize the rest of the thread so you guys don't need to continue:

Fat people, they sure are fat!
Some guy who pissed me off over something small and insignificant once.
Smoker, oh those darn smokers, always smoking!
People who don't agree with my political/religious ideas, they must be crazy.

You forgot the breif, yet informative, discussion involving the placement of trains is rural america.

Gafoto

taoistlumberjak wrote:

Gafoto wrote:

I'm going to summarize the rest of the thread so you guys don't need to continue:

Fat people, they sure are fat!
Some guy who pissed me off over something small and insignificant once.
Smoker, oh those darn smokers, always smoking!
People who don't agree with my political/religious ideas, they must be crazy.
THAT BITCH/DICK WHO BROKE UP WITH ME LEMME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT HOW INSANE THEY ARE REALLY THEY'RE TOTALLY INSANE GRRRRR SO BITTER

you forgot ex-significant others, they sure are bitches/assholes

there we go

Butters

Gafoto wrote:

I'm going to summarize the rest of the thread so you guys don't need to continue:

Fat people, they sure are fat!
Some guy who pissed me off over something small and insignificant once.
Smoker, oh those darn smokers, always smoking!
People who don't agree with my political/religious ideas, they must be crazy.

Gafoto PM me your address and let me pester you at 4 a.m. so I can see how incredibly nonchalant you are about all inconveniences in life. I shall document the events and publish my findings of the "Gafoto is Beyond Cool" experiment in all the leading scientific journals.

taoistlumberjak

and then uriel posts, and we're all happier about our lives

AHH!

some dude raped me

Butler

Things I did? There was this post...

Gafoto

Butters wrote:

Gafoto wrote:

I'm going to summarize the rest of the thread so you guys don't need to continue:

Fat people, they sure are fat!
Some guy who pissed me off over something small and insignificant once.
Smoker, oh those darn smokers, always smoking!
People who don't agree with my political/religious ideas, they must be crazy.

Gafoto PM me your address and let me pester you at 4 a.m. so I can see how incredibly nonchalant you are about all inconveniences in life. I shall document the events and publish my findings of the "Gafoto is Beyond Cool" experiment in all the leading scientific journals.

How about I not PM you anything and you fuck yourself?

Hunter

Cardboard Tube wrote:

Janson wrote:

ZeroZero wrote:

So, there I was laying in my bed, just falling asleep, when the fire alarm in my building goes off. Now, that thing as shit, and I'm freaking out, because I think some thing is actually wrong. Then I meet some one going down the stairs, and she tells me it was pulled. Some fucking drunk ass mother fucker thought it would be funny to pull the god damn fire alarm in a building of sleeping college kids. I was ready to stab some one.

So what are your tales of shit that other people have done?

This doesn't happen every month for you?

Ah...so many fond memories of standing outside at 4am in pyjamas...not

I remember a time when some idiot would pull the alarm maybe three times a night, convinced it was the funniest thing in the world.

When I was an RA in college, this was one of the few things that I went all Nazi prison camp on. It's the biggest waste of time and really fucks with people because then if there's a real emergency people will think it's some drunken fucktard playing stupid.

I would make the whole dorm stand outside at any time of night or in cold weather until whoever pulled the alarm confessed. Be it 10 minutes or 2 hours (which I actually did one cold Feb night). Then, I give a talking to that person and go inside. I let nature take its course in the form of self regulation after I go to sleep.

Cerpin Taxt

We had the fire alarm go off in my dorm building my freshman year.

But that was because there was a fuckton of smoke.

From the firecrackers

A string of black cats set off in the hallway.

Near the area in front of my door.

At 4:30 am.

The night before finals.


Murder.

Butters

Gafoto wrote:

Butters wrote:

Gafoto wrote:

I'm going to summarize the rest of the thread so you guys don't need to continue:

Fat people, they sure are fat!
Some guy who pissed me off over something small and insignificant once.
Smoker, oh those darn smokers, always smoking!
People who don't agree with my political/religious ideas, they must be crazy.

Gafoto PM me your address and let me pester you at 4 a.m. so I can see how incredibly nonchalant you are about all inconveniences in life. I shall document the events and publish my findings of the "Gafoto is Beyond Cool" experiment in all the leading scientific journals.

How about I not PM you anything and you fuck yourself?

How about you do PM your address and I publish a second journal on how tight your butthole is?

taoistlumberjak

How about you PM each other a meeting place and commence to the buttfuckery?

tsplitter

Butters wrote:

Gafoto wrote:

Butters wrote:

Gafoto wrote:

I'm going to summarize the rest of the thread so you guys don't need to continue:

Fat people, they sure are fat!
Some guy who pissed me off over something small and insignificant once.
Smoker, oh those darn smokers, always smoking!
People who don't agree with my political/religious ideas, they must be crazy.

Gafoto PM me your address and let me pester you at 4 a.m. so I can see how incredibly nonchalant you are about all inconveniences in life. I shall document the events and publish my findings of the "Gafoto is Beyond Cool" experiment in all the leading scientific journals.

How about I not PM you anything and you fuck yourself?

How about you do PM your address and I publish a second journal on how tight your butthole is?

SOLOMON GRUNDY MAEKS POST TOO

Gafoto

Poor Butters, life must be so fucking hard.

Tube

Gafoto wrote:

Poor Butters, life must be so fucking hard.

Unclench.