Welcome to the amazing worlds of Baldies, where our follically challenged little friends engage in hilarious acts of warfare with the evil Haries. With a skilled team of Workers, Builders, Soldiers and Scientists; Baldies scatter the land with their towns, forests, science labs and barracks, not to mention mine fields and cannons. Whether you play on the icy terrain of Alaska or the arid deserts of Egypt, the challenge remains the same: shepherd your flocks to Baldy Domination!!
It would be amazing if this thread lead to the death of an entire company.
Amazing on one hand, a little sad on the other. I mean think about, where could the programmers go with that resume?
"Sir, we have to two new applicants."
"Okay, anything stand out?"
"Well, one apparently has a fetish for phoenix's, and the other worked for Phoenix games."
"My god, that's disgusting! Tell the furry to meet me tomorrow, and tell the other guy to get lost!"
Welcome to the amazing worlds of Baldies, where our follically challenged little friends engage in hilarious acts of warfare with the evil Haries. With a skilled team of Workers, Builders, Soldiers and Scientists; Baldies scatter the land with their towns, forests, science labs and barracks, not to mention mine fields and cannons. Whether you play on the icy terrain of Alaska or the arid deserts of Egypt, the challenge remains the same: shepherd your flocks to Baldy Domination!!
Madness? THIS . . . IS . . . BALDNESS.
Baldies is an old game. Old enough to have been released for the Amiga, at least (although I remember playing it on the PC). Not bad, as I recall - a little Settlers-esque.
There was a story I saw a while ago about what's basically a bootleg Disneyland, somewhere in China... Disney's all up on these guys, trying to sue them out of existence, but they're hitting a brick wall because China basically doesn't recognize American copyrights.
Then again, Holland isn't a communist police state, so I doubt Phoenix enjoys the same protection. :P
After that the china 'Disney Land is Too' place tore everything down and stopped using disney mascots.
I remember seeing these things in an Argos catalogue, years and years and years ago. Including one title, "Lord of the Jungle", that appeared to have the exact same promotional art as the Disney Tarzan movie which'd just come out.
How long before they release another franchise that, by an astonishing coincidence, happens to have a few slight similarities to an intellectual property that's already on the market? I mean frankly it's bound to happen someday considering the sheer mass of quality titles they're pumping out.
The Animal Soccer videos are so weird and cheaply done they are almost surreal.
I think the duck punks and the pig cheerleaders are some of the funniest things I've ever seen.
And the announcer at the soccer game was just... wow. Solid gold.
I was supposed to be in bed a while ago but this thread continues to deliver.
There was a youtube video done by Ashens earlier in this thread, and his general selection of this that are awful and his commentary are tangentially related to the topic at hand and equally funny.
That actually looks pretty decently drawn to me. Obvious Hamsterball rip-off, but the cover is at least decent (unlike pretty much any of their other colours); I expect they ripped some freelance artist off by asking them for a "sample" and never paying up for it.
That actually looks pretty decently drawn to me. Obvious Hamsterball rip-off, but the cover is at least decent (unlike pretty much any of their other colours); I expect they ripped some freelance artist off by asking them for a "sample" and never paying up for it.
Some of the covers are surprisingly well drawn, actually. Look at their cover for "Furry Tales", it looks like an actual artist spent time on it. I'm not sure how they do it, but I'm guessing it has something to do with either plagiarism or a poor artist they can afford to only pay for cover art.
AJAlkaline40 on
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The Black HunterThe key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple,unimpeachable reason to existRegistered Userregular
edited December 2007
If I ever see a pheonix games game for sale, I'll buy it.
AJRSome guy who wrestlesNorwichRegistered Userregular
edited December 2007
These games are all over my local k-mart. I keep wondering whether I should grab one just to see how bad it is, but I just don't feel the need to torture myself.
I'm very impressed... I mean, they take bad games to a whole new level. Big Rigs was a one shot thing, but Phoenix makes horrendous game after horrendous game. The Animal Soccer game is indescribable, crap, I couldn't even identify the gaming part. Oh god, my eyes.
and the taxi game, with a pop-up radius of 3 meters. Oh God. The pain.
I'm at work now. Which is, y'know, fun. Once I've finished checking my email I will probably get in touch with the Crack Team Legal Force Go Squad Team.
Not worth the time or money, probably. That and/or the fact they're "original" 3D models, that while obviously based on Disney artwork, might allow them some ground to use them.
Which confuses me about that Destiny Island thing, because they go to the trouble of modeling (crappy) characters and a ship, but can't even half-ass some generic island? They didn't even try to recreate or edit it in anyway: they outright took it.
I hadn't noticed that their website groups games by price as well. This is under the PS2 £8.99 price range:
"Crap, we need to put a cover together for this new game!"
"What's the game called?"
"'Kiddies Party Pack'."
"Well shit, son. Just throw some animals on there and we're all set."
"We don't have time to produce more rip off art!"
"Wait, I have an idea - why don't we rip off our own covers?"
"...That's genius."
So guys, I just came home with this little piece of fried gold. I like motocross games so perhaps this will tickle my fancy. I shall now start playing it.
And I saw that "Kiddies Party Pack" for sale. They had like over eight thousand of them.
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"Sir, we have to two new applicants."
"Okay, anything stand out?"
"Well, one apparently has a fetish for phoenix's, and the other worked for Phoenix games."
"My god, that's disgusting! Tell the furry to meet me tomorrow, and tell the other guy to get lost!"
Baldies is an old game. Old enough to have been released for the Amiga, at least (although I remember playing it on the PC). Not bad, as I recall - a little Settlers-esque.
PortsCenter • Jump Leads • The Life Toyetic with Ben and Molly
After that the china 'Disney Land is Too' place tore everything down and stopped using disney mascots.
http://www.japanprobe.com/?p=1678
How long before they release another franchise that, by an astonishing coincidence, happens to have a few slight similarities to an intellectual property that's already on the market? I mean frankly it's bound to happen someday considering the sheer mass of quality titles they're pumping out.
Oh, and do it, Squirm!
Spectacular
White Van Racer, aka Pedo-Cars Away! aka the greatest game ever
London Cab Challenge, and it does look like a challenge
Peter Pan, a bold retelling
Animal Soccer World Part 1
Maniac Mole, played by a british maniac mole
Extreme Sprint 3010, "gotta load all the intense graphics...and challenges
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z21iQ6rtYNc&NR=1
YOU ARE NOT SO AWESOME
The lack of a Phoenix Games logo should probably tip you off that it is not, in fact, a Phoenix Games product
Thank you for that.
Don't thank me, it's my job.
Repeatedly.
This is always an easy way to tell how awesome people are.
I never asked for this!
I think the duck punks and the pig cheerleaders are some of the funniest things I've ever seen.
And the announcer at the soccer game was just... wow. Solid gold.
There was a youtube video done by Ashens earlier in this thread, and his general selection of this that are awful and his commentary are tangentially related to the topic at hand and equally funny.
Just for you guys.
I lol'd so hard at 2:40 in animal soccer, with the EE AA EE AA. I was in stitches for a minute.
And I have actually seen some of Phoenix's PS2 games in a local store. It shames me that they are from my country
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and the taxi game, with a pop-up radius of 3 meters. Oh God. The pain.
Its the little things !
Librarians harbor a terrible secret. Find it.
PortsCenter • Jump Leads • The Life Toyetic with Ben and Molly
It would probablly cost more in legal fees then they would get in damages.
Infinity Mog 21 and over Free Company Sargatanas Server. Recruitment currently closed.
Anyone see this:
They even fail at pitching their crap. =(
Infinity Mog 21 and over Free Company Sargatanas Server. Recruitment currently closed.
"Crap, we need to put a cover together for this new game!"
"What's the game called?"
"'Kiddies Party Pack'."
"Well shit, son. Just throw some animals on there and we're all set."
"We don't have time to produce more rip off art!"
"Wait, I have an idea - why don't we rip off our own covers?"
"...That's genius."
PortsCenter • Jump Leads • The Life Toyetic with Ben and Molly
PortsCenter • Jump Leads • The Life Toyetic with Ben and Molly
Apparently he had big eyes in addition to big muscles.
Man, what's with these guys and lazy eye? Mulan has one too. It's probably some subliminal message.
That "disclaimer" at the bottom there - is that something which actually appears on the Phoenix website?
PortsCenter • Jump Leads • The Life Toyetic with Ben and Molly
And I saw that "Kiddies Party Pack" for sale. They had like over eight thousand of them.