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Vasectomies
mrt144
King of the NumbernamesRegistered User regular
King of the NumbernamesRegistered User regular
So I just recently got married and my wife and I have always been against the idea of having children. I was wondering about your experiences, side effects, life enhancements, best time to get them etc etc. I'm thinking the optimal time to get one is like Wednesday before the NCAA tourney begins.
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From a personal perspective, you may want to look into saving some sperm on the off-chance you two ever do want kids with each other, as not all vasectomies can be reversed.
You go in for your initial appointment and get checked out by the doctor to make sure things are okay down there. The second appointment will be the procedure. All told, I think I was in and out in an hour. There was a bit of prep with the nurse and then the procedure itself took about 15 minutes. The only uncomfortable part was when they injected the numbing stuff. They do a couple injections directly into your vas deferens tubes. It doesn't really hurt, but it is a very weird sensation.
After the procedure, just plan on taking it easy for a couple days. Keep some frozen peas on hand to ice your junk if needed. You won't need anything stronger than tylenol for pain killers afterwards. You'll also need to take in a couple of samples afterwards to make sure it all worked.
My insurance didn't cover any of it, so I paid out of pocket. Total cost was right around $1000.
Hurt for a couple of days after, but not badly. No side effects or anything since.
Depending on your age and your doctor you may get told you need to go for counseling prior-to or the doctor may directly try to talk you out of it. My doctor was cool, though, and asked to make sure my wife and I were clear that there would be no kids in the future, had both of us sign saying we understood, and that was it.
Also, it was one of the funniest experiences in my life. Let me explain:
I have three kids. The third one was conceived in spite of multiple contraceptives. After that experience, and the very difficult birth, and now in charge of three kids, we decided one of us had to take care of the situation permanently! Tubal ligation is invasive, less reliable, and more traumatic, so I stepped up to the plate.
The day came. They tell me I was white as a sheet talking to the doctor, who went through the final check to make sure I was serious. I must have said yes. Honest truth is, I was scared out of my wits. I've never had a medical procedure apart from my appendix out when I was 12, never broken a bone, nothing.
The attending nurse washed my junk with iodine. I'd shaved everything the night before, as per instructions. In case you're wondering, iodine evaporates quickly... IT WAS REALLY COLD. The nurse was a guy. The situation quickly shot past awkward and arrived at absurd where it took root in my brain. Along with my serious sub-panic bout of nerves, I lay on the table with my wet freezing junk and... tried not to freak out at the same time I was trying not to imagine the whole thing as a real-life Monty Python skit.
The doctor came in. He gave me a couple of locals. For some reason, I thought I was going to be unconscious for this... not the case. My junk vanished from sensory awareness. He started doing whatever it is you do in this procedure, and my thigh muscles would not stop twitching. Worry!
"Doc, I can't stop that... my leg... it's not going to... mess you up, or anything? Please be careful!"
"It's fine. You're doing great... I've seen guys get up and run out of here as soon as I take out the scalpel."
I cold feel some sort of tugging. It was uncomfortable, but not painful. My thigh started twitching again. Then, he sets the knife aside and gets this big white thing like a soldering iron.
"Umm..."
He puts it on my crotch and smoke begins boiling forth like my balls were on fire. Big, white clouds of it! I started laughing, just laughing my ass off and trying to keep still...
"You know, this is the only time in my entire life I will see smoke billowing up from my crotch and not panic..."
It all seemed completely surreal. Freezing, lying on my back with some guy slicing my scrotum and then torching it, my legs twitching uncontrollably and I just laughed... at one point he had to stop until I calmed down enough, but the smoke again...
Anyhow, it got done, and I actually walked out of there. Four hours later I felt like someone had stepped on my balls with cinderblock shoes, but the vicodin works great. 2 days later I was up and around with no problems. I had some lingering soreness for a couple of months, probably from lifting my kids before I should have. By far, and I mean by a million times, the worst part had nothing to do with the surgery - it was the three weeks of utter and complete hell I suffered walking around a hospital doing tech support while my hair grew back in. What a nightmare!
Dispelling common misconceptions:
Things to remember:
Finally: I said before that the vasectomy doesn't physically change your orgasms or impact your sexual performance. That's true, but you will almost certainly notice better orgasms and better sex, because the worry of pregnancy and the hassle of birth control will be suddenly removed from your life forever. I have never had more, or better, more satisfying and intimate sex than after I had the operation, and I'm thrilled I did it. What a weight off the mind! What a way to rekindle spontaneous lovemaking! What an awesome feeling!
I absolutely recommend it.
Now, depending on the doctor you consult with you may get more resistance to you seeking a vasectomy. The doctor may try to talk you out of it. Either insist that you want one or if you don't feel comfortable dealing with that doctor any further, find another who will do the procedure. And remember that vasectomies are both easier and less expensive to perform and less likely to have complications than tubal ligation, so good on you. :^:
Oh, holy shit. The damned vas deferens. I had surgery last year. During the surgery a stent was placed in, well, I can only assume was my "vas deferens" tubes. I also had a catheter. Yeah, it was great.
Having the catheter removed was the single most strange sensation I have ever experienced. It didn't quite hurt, but it didn't feel good, either.
About a month later, I returned to have the stent removed. Yeah, they pulled it out of my dick, but before they did a nurse had to insert numbing gel down into my dick.
Anyway, I can confirm the uncomfortable nature of this step of the procedure. Just try to relax. Take deep breaths and don't tense your muscles.
I wasn't sore in the slightest afterwards! I didn't feel anything during the procedure - however when they pull the tubes out to make the cut I did experience a rather unpleasant (not painful in the slightest, just unpleasant) feeling in my gut, a bit like you get when an elevator drops too quickly or on a log flume ride!
They do suggest no heavy lifting for 2 weeks post op as this can open things up down there and you don't want that! I was ok as I work in an office but if you work construction for instance you might want to think about 2 weeks leave!
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"The power of the weirdness compels me."
I was against having children for the longest time, but I met this girl... she had a daughter and after just eight months, I was attached to that little girl and started caring for her as if I were her father. Things didn't work out between her mom and I, so now I'm left with this hole in my life I can't fill. You and your wife should really really sit down with therapists or councilors and make damn sure neither of you ever want to have kids, or if you do... cough up the dough to have some sperm saved.
I understand and we have gone through counseling before we got married to talk about a lot of life goals and desires and one of the biggest things was how children just aren't for us. I think we'll sit down again before I schedule the procedure just to make ultra sure.
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Obviosuly this means waiting (if it even finishes/passes muster), but it would certainly be better.
First my general Doc tried to perform it, but was unable to get the clamps to stay on, so after 30 minutes of him pinchin my sack, I limped out, with a referral to a specialist. This Doctor gave me the shot on the left side, and did up that side. I could feel that same strange tugging, and while it's not painful it is STRANGE. I swear I could feel it tugging on my ear lobes!! Then he gave me the shot on the right side and immediately cut me open without waiting for it to numb. I have been hurt worse, but not in my tenders. You feel pretty vulnerable with your legs spread wide and some guy down there with a scalpel. At this point my penis had crawled up inside my body and made itself into a vagina.
I finally got done, and limped out of the office. I climbed slowly in to my friends car, and about half way home the numbing stuff wore off quite suddenly and it felt like my scrotum was on FIRE, mainly the left side. I limped in to my house where I spent the next 15 hours with various bags of frozen veggies on my crotch, and if I took it off for more than a minute or so, the burning would return, and it hurt to so much as shift my weight while sitting. I am not sure how I got to sleep that night, but it was so painfull when I woke the next day, I spent the whole next day with frozen goods on it as well. I am relatively certain that the Doctor stitched the left side incision too tight. After a few days though I was ok, though I had to wear a jock strap for 2 weeks because it hurt so much if my boys were allowed to hang. I had sex earlier than I was supposed to and it was painfull, so I caution you against that. Imagine that at your peak, when it should be the most pleasurable instead you get kicked hard in the junk.
I don't say this to scare anyone, I understand that my experience is rare, and I am still glad that I did it. I already have 4 kids, so it was an easy choice for me, but whoever decided that you don't need to be knocked out for it is a cruel, cruel silly goose.
Urgh, yeah, this sure is a link to a video with a big ol' scrotum right there just hangin' out while a dude pulls things out of it. I'm just going to edit this right quick.
Other than that? No problems at all.
Frankly it sounds like a pretty awesome alternative to the snip, and reversible, so if the OP isn't in a rush, it might be good to wait and see what happens.
Of course, the military did mine, and they would only let me do it on a Friday.
Your general doc was an asshole who wanted money.
Biggest piece of advice? Go to an actual urologist that does about a hundred of these things a month.
Spread your legs? Scalpel down there? Stitched?
Generally you lay on an exam table, pretty much relax'd and with no special leg maneuvers. You get some local anesthetic and they make TEENY TINY incisions on either side of the scrotum just below the shaft at the base of the penis. They inject some more local into the area, use a little right-angle or kelly hemostat and snip out a section of the vas def that's about 1/4th-1/8th an inch long. Then you get a little tiny bit of cauterization on each end of the tube before the hemostats are removed and it slips back into the hole.
All the urologists I know (and the one I had do it to me) never use suture to close the incisions, they're not vascular and there's no fascia to close. If something is going to dribble or leak it's better that it comes out of the incision anyway.
Some advice:
Shave your junk with some clippers, not a razor. A skin-close razor shave will actually increase the probability of infection.
Bring a jock strap. It may be numb when you leave, but the less irritation the better, it also helps keep any 4x4 gauze bandages they place on the sides in position and if there's any of the prep solution left on the skin it tends to be sticky, so you want it rubbing as little as possible.
Go buy a bag of tubesocks that looks nice and comfy, now cut a ring off the top of the sock so you have what is essentially a sweat band for your ballsack that can be tossed out after a day of work or whatever. It helps when you go back to your normal daily activities if you can prevent chafing from the shaving (you wont want to re-manscape for a little while since it'll be tender, so even if you're normally all groomed up, you're going to have a ballsack neckbeard for a bit).
GO BACK TO GET YOUR SEMEN TESTED FOR THE PRESENCE OF SPERM!
Again, because it's important.
GO BACK TO GET YOUR SEMEN TESTED FOR THE PRESENCE OF SPERM!
Fish may still be in your pond for several ejaculations and depending on frequency 6-8 weeks after the surgery, also while it's insanely rare the procedure can fail, your body can make a little tunnel of scar tissue and sperm may sneak across the border. Though nearly all of the time, when people talk about a vasectomy "failing" they're talking about they went home and fucked a few days later because they didn't listen to a fucking word the doctor said.
One more.
GO BACK TO GET YOUR SEMEN TESTED FOR THE PRESENCE OF SPERM!
You're going through all the trouble of getting your guy snipped on and modified, jerking it into a cup after a month and bringing it by the doctors office shouldn't be too much trouble.
Edit: There can be pain, I had scar tissue and it wasn't what I'd even call bad pain, though the urologist said it was one of the more difficult he'd done it still took a grand total of 20 minutes start to finish. If getting kicked in the balls is a 10 on the pain scale and a gentle palming is a 1, it was maybe a 4 at the worst of it.
Also, check with insurance and planned parenthood. Planned parenthood scales prices to match income levels, and mine was covered under health insurance so the grand total cost to me was 5$.
Edit2: Reversal or sperm harvest isn't a simple matter if you change your mind later, your body will actually develop a little army of sperm-murderers (antibodies) that will just hang out in your testicles committing genocide after a year or two. So even if the tube is repaired, your sperm count will permanently be very low.
I'm gonna do what I did when I got my wisdom teeth pulled - sing rock and roll high school in my head.
That is true, but evidently almost all chronic pain sufferers eventually find relief in follow-up surgeries. Open ended vasectomies appear to have fewer of these complications, FWIW.