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So there's this [GIRL ADVICE THREAD, ex-coworker, other weirdness]
ALT123456
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I'm alt-ing this, mostly because I don't want this to pop up if someone searches my main username. Also, this is a bit long, so I apologize.
I work as a teacher, with this being my second year. There is another girl (let's call her Kelly) who was also hired last year. She and I have had a friendly relationship, but we never really got too close (mostly because our schedules don't match up for seeing each during break periods or lunch, her being on the other side of the school, etc.). I did always find her to be very cute and really nice. Of course, I never made any sort of move, since we were both in relationships at the time and the whole co-workers thing.
For next year, I'm rehired but she isn't, which I feel pretty shitty about overall. I didn't really want to offer her my sympathies, since she had other closer friends at work who were already doing so. Also, I'm in the same department as she is, and I also feel a bit guilty that I'm still around and she won't be.
We were both at a retirement dinner a week or two ago. We ended up talking together for almost an hour, while the other teachers were dancing. During our conversation, we both mentioned that we were both newly single (each of us for about two months) and that it was a bit tough to meet people to date. She had to leave, since she was supposed to drive about a half hour away to let her parents' dogs out (they were on vacation). It didn't seem like she was trying to bail and she seemed to genuinely be apologetic about having to go.
Yesterday, she sent out an email asking if anyone had a copy of a movie she wanted to show her class. I emailed her, telling her that I was going to out for the day on a class trip, but that I was going out to buy a movie for my class and that I could pick up a copy of her movie if she wanted me to. I also gave her my cell number if she didn't get the email before I left. She stopped by in person before I left and told me it would be really nice of me to do that.
I get back from the trip and I head home. She sends me a text saying that it was awesome of me to look for the movie while I'm out and was incredibly nice for doing so. After about two hours of hitting different stores and searching (I found my movie quickly, hers was hard to find), I finally find it and shoot her a text to let her know. I don't tell her that I was searching for so long, since I don't want her to feel bad about it. She says that I'm her hero for doing this for her.
Today, I had a card in my mailbox at the end of the day. It said:
My big question is this: Do you folks think that she's sending signals that she might be interested in me, or is this just her being friendly? I'd normally ask her out for a drink or something like that, but a few things are making me second guess doing so.
1. I'm still working at the job that let her go, in the same department that she was in.
2. I'm probably going to be moving into her apartment complex in September. If she doesn't find another job soon, she'll have to move around then.
3. I got out of a 5 year relationship back in March. I'm really rusty when it comes to the dating scene and knowing when a girl is trying to show that she's interested.
I work as a teacher, with this being my second year. There is another girl (let's call her Kelly) who was also hired last year. She and I have had a friendly relationship, but we never really got too close (mostly because our schedules don't match up for seeing each during break periods or lunch, her being on the other side of the school, etc.). I did always find her to be very cute and really nice. Of course, I never made any sort of move, since we were both in relationships at the time and the whole co-workers thing.
For next year, I'm rehired but she isn't, which I feel pretty shitty about overall. I didn't really want to offer her my sympathies, since she had other closer friends at work who were already doing so. Also, I'm in the same department as she is, and I also feel a bit guilty that I'm still around and she won't be.
We were both at a retirement dinner a week or two ago. We ended up talking together for almost an hour, while the other teachers were dancing. During our conversation, we both mentioned that we were both newly single (each of us for about two months) and that it was a bit tough to meet people to date. She had to leave, since she was supposed to drive about a half hour away to let her parents' dogs out (they were on vacation). It didn't seem like she was trying to bail and she seemed to genuinely be apologetic about having to go.
Yesterday, she sent out an email asking if anyone had a copy of a movie she wanted to show her class. I emailed her, telling her that I was going to out for the day on a class trip, but that I was going out to buy a movie for my class and that I could pick up a copy of her movie if she wanted me to. I also gave her my cell number if she didn't get the email before I left. She stopped by in person before I left and told me it would be really nice of me to do that.
I get back from the trip and I head home. She sends me a text saying that it was awesome of me to look for the movie while I'm out and was incredibly nice for doing so. After about two hours of hitting different stores and searching (I found my movie quickly, hers was hard to find), I finally find it and shoot her a text to let her know. I don't tell her that I was searching for so long, since I don't want her to feel bad about it. She says that I'm her hero for doing this for her.
Today, I had a card in my mailbox at the end of the day. It said:
She also wrote down her personal email address. Underlined parts are what she had underlined. I should also note that a lot of other teachers had cards in their mailboxes, probably her saying goodbye since Thursday is our last day before summer break.Thank you for being so kind and helpful to me. It is very upsetting that I am not in (school's name)'s plan because I wish I had more time to get to know you and work with you. It was such a pleasure! I do hope to stay in touch, however!
My big question is this: Do you folks think that she's sending signals that she might be interested in me, or is this just her being friendly? I'd normally ask her out for a drink or something like that, but a few things are making me second guess doing so.
1. I'm still working at the job that let her go, in the same department that she was in.
2. I'm probably going to be moving into her apartment complex in September. If she doesn't find another job soon, she'll have to move around then.
3. I got out of a 5 year relationship back in March. I'm really rusty when it comes to the dating scene and knowing when a girl is trying to show that she's interested.
ALT123456 on
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Go for it!
I could think of worse ways to spend an evening.
Yea, I kinda feel the same way. It sounds like you're sort of building her actions more than they were, so as long as you have you're expectations in check, ask her out.
Also, seriously? Looking for two hours for a movie seems sorta of well, desperate to me.
Roll the dice.
Well, to be fair, part of it was traffic, another part of it was me browsing through other random stuff, another part of it was me not wanting to admit defeat, and the other part was that this girl has had a rough couple of weeks and this might make it a tiny bit easier for her.
As for building up her actions, maybe, but I'm not expecting that she has this secret undyling love for me, just seeing if other people might also think there are some signs of interest there. Again, my spider-sense for this type of thing hasn't been used in a while, and I'm a bit rusty.
The only real reason not to ask her out is that you aren't interested in her or you aren't ready for a relationship. But if you spend two hours hunting down a video for her its pretty obvious that you do.
The problem of running into people you have dated happens. All you need to do is be an adult about it.
The problem that you are working at her old job isn't something you get to decide is a problem or not, she does.
Ask her out. If she says yes, be cool about it. If she says no, also be cool about it.
Satans..... hints.....
On the other hand, I think you could reasonably interpret those interactions as interest.
There doesn't seem to be a downside to asking her out. The worst that could happen is that she politely turns you down.
Rigorous Scholarship
Like everyone else has said, ask her out!
As far as your reasons for making you second guess...I don't see #2 as being a reason. I also see #1 and #3 as more of a reason to ask her out.
For #1 - It's unfortunate she doesn't work there anymore, but with her not being there, if you ask her out and things don't happen you at least won't have the chance of running into her at work and having any awkward moments.
For # 3 - It's been 5 years...you're going to need to get back in the dating scene sooner or later, why not sooner.
But hey, you don't work together anymore, and she's not seeing someone else, so go for it. Just don't go overboard and keep it casual.
Yes! Who needs another reason?
But that doesnt matter. 1. You're about to not be co-workers 2. You're interested.
Strap on a pair and ask her out.
What do you lose by trying? A working relationship? She's leaving. What you feel crappy for, might just be the best risk free opportunity you'll ever get. Capitalize my man Capitalize.
CARPE CUTIE
Actually, it doesn't. The worst that happens is that he gets rejected, but at least then he knows. Rejection is ok, never trying is not.
nothing lost by asking especially if she is moving on to a new place.
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We have a date next week!