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Worst Superman comics ever?

elkataselkatas Registered User regular
edited February 2007 in Graphic Violence
I was pretty bored week ago so I decided to search opinions about what was worst Superman comic ever. And oh boy, did I struck gold. I found two so bad Superman stories that there wasn't really any other alternative than share them with you guys.

First, unnamed story, was written by John Byrne and originally published in Action Comics #592 - 593. In this story, Superman is mind-controlled by Sleez, and forced to do porn movie with Big Barda. Makes me glad that I have never been fan of John Byrne.

http://livingbetweenwednesdays.blogspot.com/2007/01/hot-action-comics.html

Second story is post-apocalyptic Elseworlds story by Tom Veitch. In this story, Superman who looks like mixture between hobo and Santa Claus, fights against two Hitler clones. Really.

http://www.redshirt.co.uk/media/supernazis/index.htm

So did I win? Or has there been even worse Superman comics?

Hypnotically inclined.
elkatas on
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Posts

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    elkatas wrote: »
    Second story is post-apocalyptic Elseworlds story by Tom Veitch. In this story, Superman who looks like Alan Moore, fights against two Hitler clones. Really.

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  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    In John Byrne's defense, Big Barda is pretty hot.

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  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against the Irish) Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Wow, an Elseworld's story even worse than 'Distant Fires.' That's a hell of an effort.

    Gabriel_Pitt on
  • ServoServo Registered User, ClubPA
    edited February 2007
    they have that big barda/superman superporn issue at a local shop for five bucks and i kind of want to get it

    Servo on
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  • BriareosBriareos Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    So Big Barda has been raped, and no one every mentioned it or suggested that she get counseling. That's so very very disturbing.

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  • Bad KarmaBad Karma Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Briareos wrote: »
    So Big Barda has been raped, and no one every mentioned it or suggested that she get counseling. That's so very very disturbing.

    Not half as disturbing as what she does to Scott every damn night.

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  • SquashuaSquashua __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2007
    Briareos wrote: »
    So Big Barda has been raped, and no one every mentioned it or suggested that she get counseling.

    She's from Apokalips. And was a Female Fury to boot. I think she was even the leader for a bit or something, just under Granny Goodness (possibly literally).

    I'm pretty sure she's been on both the delivery and receiving end of many a very violent bi-sexual surprise sex-ing over the millennia. She's hella old too if you consider that she's supposedly a freaking GOD. I mean, I guess if you take that "New Gods" thing literally.

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  • rockmonkeyrockmonkey Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I own some pretty shitty superman comics but they're nothing outrageous like those. They're just unremarkable and shitty.

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  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against the Irish) Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Briareos wrote: »
    So Big Barda has been raped, and no one every mentioned it or suggested that she get counseling. That's so very very disturbing.

    At least she didn't wind up in a refrigerator.

    Gabriel_Pitt on
  • mattharvestmattharvest Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Is it too obvious to mention www.superdickery.com ?

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  • SpeedySwafSpeedySwaf Registered User
    edited February 2007
    mattharvest wrote: »
    Is it too obvious to mention www.superdickery.com ?
    A little, and the site mostly deals with Superman acting (or at least seeming to act) like a dick. Doesn't really get into the absolutely stupid, I think.

    Still, from that site we do have this: http://www.superdickery.com/seduction/102.html

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  • elkataselkatas Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    mattharvest wrote: »
    Is it too obvious to mention www.superdickery.com ?

    I don't really think that Superdickery counts, as most of its examples simply reflect their era in comics.

    elkatas on
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  • AlgertmanAlgertman Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I'd make a porn w/ Big Brda

    Algertman on
  • JudasJudas Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Holy shit. If someone had told me that Lois Lane got repeatedly killed and/or viciously abused by Superman on the cover of every other issue of "Superman's girlfriend, Lois Lane" I wouldn't have believed it.

    That superdickery site is comedy gold.

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  • Caveman PawsCaveman Paws Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Wow. Just wow.

    Barda is hot!

    Did I miss the point? ;)

    That Elseworlds story must have been written with the intention to be awful. Surely no one would look at that and say "Hey you put alot of thought and effort into this, let's get it out to the fans pronto!"

    Caveman Paws on
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Action+Comics+593+-+05.jpg
    Man, these would make some excellent avatars.

    see317 on
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  • AlgertmanAlgertman Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Caveman Paws wrote: »
    Wow. Just wow.

    Barda is hot!

    Did I miss the point? ;)

    That Elseworlds story must have been written with the intention to be awful. Surely no one would look at that and say "Hey you put alot of thought and effort into this, let's get it out to the fans pronto!"

    There was also some Superman/Doomsday mini, Hunter/Prey I think, where the artist goes Liefeldian in his design

    Algertman on
  • GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    "Issue 3 interior art by Dusty Abell - Superman turns into an evil centaur"

    Green on
  • SpeedySwafSpeedySwaf Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Green wrote: »
    "Issue 3 interior art by Dusty Abell - Superman turns into an evil centaur"
    D:

    SpeedySwaf on
    Deguello wrote:
    Nintendo set up a DS buffet and all the third parties went to the PSP Diner. The Diner came down with a case of botulism and everybody wonders why Nintendo is fat when they return.
  • silkypeasilkypea Registered User
    edited February 2007
    well i'd say all superman. i hate superman. but i've read some stuff and the only things that have made me like superman is red son and all-star. all-star actually makes me love him. jeez it is killer

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  • elkataselkatas Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Green wrote: »
    "Issue 3 interior art by Dusty Abell - Superman turns into an evil centaur"

    Well, that's sounds pretty bad.

    elkatas on
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  • HtownHtown Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    From the same page: "Issue 3 interior art by Dusty Abell - Lois Lane transforms into Wonder Woman, and fights the original Wonder Woman, who became a Nazi soldier".

    Wow.

    Htown on
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  • CheetoCheeto Registered User
    edited February 2007
    The issue where Superman dies and the following issues with multiple Supermen are horrible.

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  • UbikUbik another one of the law guys Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I have this one issue. It came with a toy of the villain I think.

    Anyway, Superman has a ponytail.

    And some guy in yellow is trying to kill Clark Kent.

    I was underwhelmed.

    Ubik on
  • GodfatherGodfather Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    "I COMMAND YOU TO WANK!"

    WANK.jpg

    Godfather on
  • LuxLux Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I don't even know how the sound of a shield flying into your throat makes the sound "WANK"

    Lux on
  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I always assumed the big camp guy had just screamed "WANK!" as the air was expelled from his bulky body. It's probably more possible than we think...

    ...yeah. Comic apologists! Sticking up for comic-based stupidity since 1946.

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  • BriareosBriareos Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Htown wrote: »
    From the same page: "Issue 3 interior art by Dusty Abell - Lois Lane transforms into Wonder Woman, and fights the original Wonder Woman, who became a Nazi soldier".

    Wow.

    The blurb on the Wiki seems to suggest that a female Superman, Lana, and Lois live happily ever after in a lesbian menage a trois. Rowr.

    Which would also certainly rank this story up there with the Superman/Barda porn.

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  • SquashuaSquashua __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2007
    Ubik wrote: »
    I have this one issue. It came with a toy of the villain I think.

    Anyway, Superman has a ponytail.

    And some guy in yellow is trying to kill Clark Kent.

    I was underwhelmed.

    That would be Conduit, the first attempt at a true "Kryptonite Man" after Superman's death.

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  • SaphSaph Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I liked that story, granted I read it when I was about 13.

    Saph on
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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    Action+Comics+593+-+00+-+FC.jpg

    the most offensive thing about this to me is that on the cover mr. miracle, mister fucking miracle is tied up with ropes being helplessly led away by something like four bums

    Whippy on
  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    i don't know okay it looks like one of them has a stick so maybe i guess that's okay then i guess maybe i don't know

    Whippy on
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    WhipstitchZombie wrote: »
    Action+Comics+593+-+00+-+FC.jpg

    the most offensive thing about this to me is that on the cover mr. miracle, mister fucking miracle is tied up with ropes being helplessly led away by something like four bums

    To be fair, if Superman and Barda want to do each other, Scott can't really stop them

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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    Strongly Disagree

    Whippy on
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I mean he could run away and not be seen in any comic for three years

    hangin' out with Ray Palmer

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  • Sars_BoySars_Boy Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    oh hey whippy is posting again

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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    lol sup

    Whippy on
  • Sars_BoySars_Boy Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    asl?

    Sars_Boy on
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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    14/f/fl

    Whippy on
  • Sars_BoySars_Boy Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    sounds hot lets meet up

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