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post a story about yourself

OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
edited June 2011 in Social Entropy++
post a story about yourself

no stories about other people

Orikaeshigitae on
«13456762

Posts

  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    one time I was orike

    Tommy2Hands on
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  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    it wasn't so bad

    Tommy2Hands on
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  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Was that the time i had sex with orikae?

    Melding on
  • That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    This time at PAX 2008 me and Nads had been up talking till like 5am. We were hungry so we asked the concierge at The W where we could get some breakfast at 5am. He grabbed a little map and pointed to this place that was a few blocks away.

    We head on down to find this place but end up getting lost cause it wasn't where that dude said it was. As we're heading a back a homeless guy sees us at the lights and asks us "where you going?" we tell him we were looking for this breakfast place. It turns out he knows where it is so he offers to lead us there. Ignoring the potential for being mugged or something we agreed, he started to tell us about himself and along the way he plays us a song on his empty water jug bongo. Inside this bongo is a finding nemo plush toy.

    He leads us to the breakfast place and we give him some money and get breakfast. The End.

    That Dave Fella on
    PSN: ThatDaveFella
  • existexist Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    story threads are my favorite thing

    i wish i could contribute but as bad as i am at telling stories, i am much worse at typing them out

    (also i have led a fairly uninteresting life)

    exist on
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  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    one time i got arrested

    Fandyien on
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  • Renegade WolfRenegade Wolf Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Once upon a time I had a history essay due tomorrow but I kept procrastinating and visiting Penny Arcade. So I wrote this story about it, then I realized I should actually be writing my history essay instead.
    The end.

    Renegade Wolf on
  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    were you arrested for
    DRUGS?

    Tommy2Hands on
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  • That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    This one time as a kid I managed to lock myself in a phonebox.

    That Dave Fella on
    PSN: ThatDaveFella
  • bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    i once escaped belng molested by a huge black man.

    bwanie on
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  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    were you arrested for
    DRUGS?

    naw

    Fandyien on
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  • miscellaneousinsanitymiscellaneousinsanity grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, i hurt peopleRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I am racking my brain but I cannot think of any interesting stories featuring myself as the principal actor
    maybe because it is 5am

    anyways hey Tommy I think this is a thing you would enjoy.

    miscellaneousinsanity on
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  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2011
    i was an awkward teen, to say the least

    went to a catholic grade school, went to a catholic high school

    didn't have much sex ed. saw a condom for the first time on the playground, ditto for first PDA

    when i made it to high school i didn't have much social preparation, since most of the romancin' in grade school seemed to be borderline date rape at parties and i knew that wasn't a thing to do (grade school is a story for another time)

    i met this girl in religion class, we hit it off mostly because she looked nice and had a tongue piercing

    talk with her for a bit on msn, she has one of the earliest webcams and takes to wearing low-cut tops and drinking beer while talking about her eight brothers (irish catholic family) - the awkwardest boners ever

    eventually she invites me to a party at her house, there are a couple other people there but i mostly just spend it with her

    she lights up a jay, drinks some beer, and then asks if i want to see the treehouse

    we make out for a bit under the stars (first kiss), and then i say something like 'is it true what i heard about girls with tongue piercings' (shooting for 'blowjob') but she asks what i mean and i just mumble something about making out

    a dude pokes his head into the treehouse, sees what we're doing and leaves immediately

    eventually she takes me downstairs, into her bedroom, and lays on the bed

    i have no idea what to do. none.

    yeah, i got the biology talk, but other than that? nothin'. no clue. so i look at her cd collection
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    'really?' i ask

    'what,' she says, 'what is it'

    'n*sync? really? n*sync.'

    'yeah,' she says, confused

    'n*sync.'

    she gets up and goes upstairs

    i follow her and muster the courage to pinch her ass

    she looks at me like i'm the stupidest motherfucker on the face of the planet

    dad picks me up and asks how the night went

    i think, overall, pretty good, first kiss, touched some girlbutt

    later it's prom and i ask her out but she declines politely

    i bitch about it to a mutual friend and she's like 'well, she said that she didn't really feel a spark'

    being an idiot, i say 'well, she never really gave me a chance'

    the friend looked at me for a long minute and changed the subject

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    this one time I am playing pokemon leafgreen and this fucking horsea just keeps spamming sand attack this mother fucker

    Tommy2Hands on
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  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I am racking my brain but I cannot think of any interesting stories featuring myself as the principal actor
    maybe because it is 5am

    anyways hey Tommy I think this is a thing you would enjoy.

    love kitsune

    also yeah that is where I get my sigs from

    E: http://thefoxisblack.com/2011/05/13/space-suit-of-the-week-51/

    Tommy2Hands on
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  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Today my friend and I were driving around, and I said "HOLY SHIT IS THAT THE TACO TRUCK?" (there is a taco truck that makes its rounds through the town, I had never eaten at it before)
    We get closer and it is just a MAC Tools truck. lame.

    Then we decide to go look for the Taco Truck
    Not 5 seconds after making this decision we find it in a gas station parking lot

    Got myself a lengua burrito that ended up being pretty spicy and so huge I couldn't finish it.

    We went and at our tacos on a cement platform overlooking the beach

    that was nice.

    George Fornby Grill on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    ori that is horrible!

    Fandyien on
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  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2011
    Fandyien wrote: »
    ori that is horrible!

    really? i think it's pretty funny

    no harm in the end. she didn't really use condoms, i heard later.

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Here is a story from four nights ago!

    I was at a bar (huge shock) and volunteered to be the DD (actually a shock). I had three beers in three hours, drank a shitload of water. That's as close to responsible as I ever get.

    So my buddy and I leave said bar, and a cop starts following us IMMEDIATELY as we exit the parking lot. Second I hit my brake lights, they turn on the lights, pull me over. The reason the cop gives is that one brake light wasn't as bright as the other, which might just be the flimsiest justification for a traffic stop I think I've ever heard, but there was no real mystery as to what they were angling for. He asks if I've been drinking, I say yes but in moderation and with only water for the past hour - which was true. He says he's gonna do the ol' flashlight test anyway, just to be sure.

    So he's waving the flashlight back and forth, and I'm following his finger, and it's really easy. I'm very sober. But I start to get paranoid and worried. Because, first off, I have really bad astigmatism. When his finger got to the center of my eyeline, it would double - not out of drunkenness, but just because of shitty eyes. I was scared my eyes would jitter or something, and I'd have to get out of the car, do more field tests, get breathalyzed, huge hassle. So as I'm sweating bullets over whether or not my misshappen eyeballs are gonna fuck me, I realize I have a bigger problem.

    I have to fart.

    Bad.

    I'm nervous to let it go - if I do, I'll almost definitely look at it, the way I always do when I fart. A quick butt-scope, ocular confirmation of this buttular phenomenon. But that'd be perceived as an eye jitter, and then it's field test, breathalyzer, hour delay. So this fart starts to scare me.

    And then I start thinking, really thinking, about the fact that I'm scared of a fart. Which, naturally, makes me want to laugh. Like, a lot. But if I laugh, that's erratic behavior - tests, 'lyzer, yadda. So here I am, trying to follow the cop's finger, trying to hold back both a massive fart and massive-r laughter, and all with a light shone in my eyes.

    Said eyes begin to water like a motherfucker.

    Which panics me even more. Is that supposed to happen? Is the cop gonna use that as the reason to get me out of the car?

    But then, mercifully, he clicks off the light. Apologizes for hurting my eyes, tells me to have a safe night, tells me to get the brake light looked at. He goes back to his car.

    Soon as he's out of sight, I release the pent-up mega-laugh I've been keeping in, just howling gales of laughter. And also I roll up the windows, lock them, and fart like crazy for the whole drive home.

    Poorochondriac on
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    that is probably my third favourite orikae story

    Melding on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2011
    i told that story to tube at pax 08 and he said 'well, everyone has a story like that. it's part of realizing you're going to make mistakes and dealing with it.'

    tube says good things sometimes

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I

    can't recall a single interesting story of a thing that happened to me
    which isn't to say I don't have any
    because I swear that I remember that I do
    but I can't actually remember what those interesting stories are

    this is kinda unsettling

    Dichotomy on
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  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I have a lot of favorite orike stories

    Tommy2Hands on
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  • TaskmanTaskman Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Once, I got stuck at the top of here:
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    when the stupid thing broke down for half an hour. I fell asleep, mostly in an attempt to screen out the yelling of an hysterical girl on the row in front. It started up again half an hour later and I woke to find myself falling towards a hole in the ground.

    Taskman on
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  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    All stories about me are best told from others' perspectives because i try to make them make sense to other people. And then the magic is gone.

    Melding on
  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    like, I just want to hire him to stand in the corner of a bar I metaphorically own

    and when people throw nickles at him he tells stories

    occasionally a really cool guy in a leather jacket and sunglasses has to come in and elbow him in the crotch to get him to tell another story

    Tommy2Hands on
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  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    After my junior prom I drove my date around for about two hours

    she kept asking we drive down increasingly isolated roads but I never


    ever

    stopped the truck


    eventually she just asked me to take her home.

    Seriously on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2011
    i really like telling stories

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    i told that story to tube at pax 08 and he said 'well, everyone has a story like that. it's part of realizing you're going to make mistakes and dealing with it.'

    tube says good things sometimes

    it's totally true!

    bwanie on
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  • bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Seriously wrote: »
    After my junior prom I drove my date around for about two hours

    she kept asking we drive down increasingly isolated roads but I never


    ever

    stopped the truck


    eventually she just asked me to take her home.

    hahah this is precious

    bwanie on
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  • JintorJintor Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I spent part of last Thursday morning on the bed of an attractive girl who was wrapped only in sheets (the girl, not me), reading Sherlock Holmes and GK Chesterton stories on my Kindle while she browsed one of like thirty tabs open in a single browser. It was cold as hell. I was tempted to try and snuggle with her but

    a) I have a girlfriend who isn't her
    b) She'd claw my fucking eyes out

    Jintor on
  • That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Orik

    We never did those car bombs. I was also too afraid to leave Chris' apartment and make my way to Vancouver so I spent those 2 days reading books and playing silly games.

    That Dave Fella on
    PSN: ThatDaveFella
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    i really like telling stories

    It'd be weird if you didn't, all things considered

    Poorochondriac on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2011
    Orik

    We never did those car bombs. I was also too afraid to leave Chris' apartment and make my way to Vancouver so I spent those 2 days reading books and playing silly games.

    we'll get there sometime, buddy.

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2011
    another, shorter story:

    i bought 400 threadcount sheets and duvet cover and duvet last week, and it is awesome

    i actually look forward to going to bed now

    wish i got a better colour, but you can't win 'em all

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    if we are talking about pathetically failed and awkward romances, I have a small story in that vein

    For the past few years, I have been good friends with a girl. Her and I think almost exactly the same way, and are at times mental clones of each other.

    For the same amount of years we have been told by various educators, school staff, and friends that we would make a great couple, and we have for the same amount of years both vehemently refused any of these claims

    Now I will not go into detail on the various rebuttals we have made but suffice to say there were a few where I went slightly too far in my reasoning

    and I have recently started thinking about the course of events, and feel that I've driven this girl, who I very obviously like, away from ever having a go at a relationship with me that is more than friendly rivalry and the occasional REALTALK.

    Since we have both for so long denied such claims as to us being compatible emotionally, mentally, and otherwise, and both of us thinking in mostly the same way (one where being contrary to popular belief is somewhat of a staple), I have no idea what this girl actually thinks of me.

    Ugh this is a very ramble-y mess and I can't do much to fix it in my current state of mind.

    Both her friends, mine, and those mutual still make the relationship quips and indeed we both deny them, but I can't stop thinking about the innumerate number of times I could have sidestepped through the joke and been able to divulge to her that I would like said joke to be a potential reality.

    I don't think this is much of a story, it's more of an as-I-go rant about my current thoughts on the situation at hand, it does not help that I spent a few hours with the girl today and had a great time doing so.

    I am mentally a mess, not emotionally at this point but I am just scatterbrained and cannot focus

    George Fornby Grill on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2011
    ask her out

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • JintorJintor Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Ask her out

    Jintor on
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    oh I forgot to mention we are both going to University of Oregon this fall

    her brother is a good friend of mine and even said today "you're going to have to hang out with her and stuff, you know. She's going to be worse at meeting people than you"

    This is patently wrong as I know she excels in social situations compared to me, and it almost feels like he is telling me what you are, orik


    I just don't want to alienate her as a friend, as i know she views being asked out as awkward. She is such a great friend and I do not think I could handle losing that

    George Fornby Grill on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2011
    ask her out.

    Orikaeshigitae on
This discussion has been closed.