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post a story about yourself
Orikaeshigitae
Registered User, ClubPA regular
Registered User, ClubPA regular
post a story about yourself
no stories about other people
no stories about other people
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We head on down to find this place but end up getting lost cause it wasn't where that dude said it was. As we're heading a back a homeless guy sees us at the lights and asks us "where you going?" we tell him we were looking for this breakfast place. It turns out he knows where it is so he offers to lead us there. Ignoring the potential for being mugged or something we agreed, he started to tell us about himself and along the way he plays us a song on his empty water jug bongo. Inside this bongo is a finding nemo plush toy.
He leads us to the breakfast place and we give him some money and get breakfast. The End.
i wish i could contribute but as bad as i am at telling stories, i am much worse at typing them out
(also i have led a fairly uninteresting life)
The end.
DRUGS?
naw
maybe because it is 5am
anyways hey Tommy I think this is a thing you would enjoy.
went to a catholic grade school, went to a catholic high school
didn't have much sex ed. saw a condom for the first time on the playground, ditto for first PDA
when i made it to high school i didn't have much social preparation, since most of the romancin' in grade school seemed to be borderline date rape at parties and i knew that wasn't a thing to do (grade school is a story for another time)
i met this girl in religion class, we hit it off mostly because she looked nice and had a tongue piercing
talk with her for a bit on msn, she has one of the earliest webcams and takes to wearing low-cut tops and drinking beer while talking about her eight brothers (irish catholic family) - the awkwardest boners ever
eventually she invites me to a party at her house, there are a couple other people there but i mostly just spend it with her
she lights up a jay, drinks some beer, and then asks if i want to see the treehouse
we make out for a bit under the stars (first kiss), and then i say something like 'is it true what i heard about girls with tongue piercings' (shooting for 'blowjob') but she asks what i mean and i just mumble something about making out
a dude pokes his head into the treehouse, sees what we're doing and leaves immediately
eventually she takes me downstairs, into her bedroom, and lays on the bed
i have no idea what to do. none.
yeah, i got the biology talk, but other than that? nothin'. no clue. so i look at her cd collection
'really?' i ask
'what,' she says, 'what is it'
'n*sync? really? n*sync.'
'yeah,' she says, confused
'n*sync.'
she gets up and goes upstairs
i follow her and muster the courage to pinch her ass
she looks at me like i'm the stupidest motherfucker on the face of the planet
dad picks me up and asks how the night went
i think, overall, pretty good, first kiss, touched some girlbutt
later it's prom and i ask her out but she declines politely
i bitch about it to a mutual friend and she's like 'well, she said that she didn't really feel a spark'
being an idiot, i say 'well, she never really gave me a chance'
the friend looked at me for a long minute and changed the subject
love kitsune
also yeah that is where I get my sigs from
E: http://thefoxisblack.com/2011/05/13/space-suit-of-the-week-51/
We get closer and it is just a MAC Tools truck. lame.
Then we decide to go look for the Taco Truck
Not 5 seconds after making this decision we find it in a gas station parking lot
Got myself a lengua burrito that ended up being pretty spicy and so huge I couldn't finish it.
We went and at our tacos on a cement platform overlooking the beach
that was nice.
really? i think it's pretty funny
no harm in the end. she didn't really use condoms, i heard later.
I was at a bar (huge shock) and volunteered to be the DD (actually a shock). I had three beers in three hours, drank a shitload of water. That's as close to responsible as I ever get.
So my buddy and I leave said bar, and a cop starts following us IMMEDIATELY as we exit the parking lot. Second I hit my brake lights, they turn on the lights, pull me over. The reason the cop gives is that one brake light wasn't as bright as the other, which might just be the flimsiest justification for a traffic stop I think I've ever heard, but there was no real mystery as to what they were angling for. He asks if I've been drinking, I say yes but in moderation and with only water for the past hour - which was true. He says he's gonna do the ol' flashlight test anyway, just to be sure.
So he's waving the flashlight back and forth, and I'm following his finger, and it's really easy. I'm very sober. But I start to get paranoid and worried. Because, first off, I have really bad astigmatism. When his finger got to the center of my eyeline, it would double - not out of drunkenness, but just because of shitty eyes. I was scared my eyes would jitter or something, and I'd have to get out of the car, do more field tests, get breathalyzed, huge hassle. So as I'm sweating bullets over whether or not my misshappen eyeballs are gonna fuck me, I realize I have a bigger problem.
I have to fart.
Bad.
I'm nervous to let it go - if I do, I'll almost definitely look at it, the way I always do when I fart. A quick butt-scope, ocular confirmation of this buttular phenomenon. But that'd be perceived as an eye jitter, and then it's field test, breathalyzer, hour delay. So this fart starts to scare me.
And then I start thinking, really thinking, about the fact that I'm scared of a fart. Which, naturally, makes me want to laugh. Like, a lot. But if I laugh, that's erratic behavior - tests, 'lyzer, yadda. So here I am, trying to follow the cop's finger, trying to hold back both a massive fart and massive-r laughter, and all with a light shone in my eyes.
Said eyes begin to water like a motherfucker.
Which panics me even more. Is that supposed to happen? Is the cop gonna use that as the reason to get me out of the car?
But then, mercifully, he clicks off the light. Apologizes for hurting my eyes, tells me to have a safe night, tells me to get the brake light looked at. He goes back to his car.
Soon as he's out of sight, I release the pent-up mega-laugh I've been keeping in, just howling gales of laughter. And also I roll up the windows, lock them, and fart like crazy for the whole drive home.
tube says good things sometimes
can't recall a single interesting story of a thing that happened to me
which isn't to say I don't have any
because I swear that I remember that I do
but I can't actually remember what those interesting stories are
this is kinda unsettling
and when people throw nickles at him he tells stories
occasionally a really cool guy in a leather jacket and sunglasses has to come in and elbow him in the crotch to get him to tell another story
she kept asking we drive down increasingly isolated roads but I never
ever
stopped the truck
eventually she just asked me to take her home.
it's totally true!
hahah this is precious
a) I have a girlfriend who isn't her
b) She'd claw my fucking eyes out
We never did those car bombs. I was also too afraid to leave Chris' apartment and make my way to Vancouver so I spent those 2 days reading books and playing silly games.
It'd be weird if you didn't, all things considered
we'll get there sometime, buddy.
i bought 400 threadcount sheets and duvet cover and duvet last week, and it is awesome
i actually look forward to going to bed now
wish i got a better colour, but you can't win 'em all
For the past few years, I have been good friends with a girl. Her and I think almost exactly the same way, and are at times mental clones of each other.
For the same amount of years we have been told by various educators, school staff, and friends that we would make a great couple, and we have for the same amount of years both vehemently refused any of these claims
Now I will not go into detail on the various rebuttals we have made but suffice to say there were a few where I went slightly too far in my reasoning
and I have recently started thinking about the course of events, and feel that I've driven this girl, who I very obviously like, away from ever having a go at a relationship with me that is more than friendly rivalry and the occasional REALTALK.
Since we have both for so long denied such claims as to us being compatible emotionally, mentally, and otherwise, and both of us thinking in mostly the same way (one where being contrary to popular belief is somewhat of a staple), I have no idea what this girl actually thinks of me.
Ugh this is a very ramble-y mess and I can't do much to fix it in my current state of mind.
Both her friends, mine, and those mutual still make the relationship quips and indeed we both deny them, but I can't stop thinking about the innumerate number of times I could have sidestepped through the joke and been able to divulge to her that I would like said joke to be a potential reality.
I don't think this is much of a story, it's more of an as-I-go rant about my current thoughts on the situation at hand, it does not help that I spent a few hours with the girl today and had a great time doing so.
I am mentally a mess, not emotionally at this point but I am just scatterbrained and cannot focus
her brother is a good friend of mine and even said today "you're going to have to hang out with her and stuff, you know. She's going to be worse at meeting people than you"
This is patently wrong as I know she excels in social situations compared to me, and it almost feels like he is telling me what you are, orik
I just don't want to alienate her as a friend, as i know she views being asked out as awkward. She is such a great friend and I do not think I could handle losing that