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[True Blood]...what is going on?

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Posts

  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    Some sort of fucktarded zombie

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  • InvisibleInvisible Registered User regular
    Did Jason's actor sign get a no-nudity clause added? Cause there was no butt shot of him and I don't think there was one last season either. Just bizarre that we see more of Andy than Jason.

    And I have a bad feeling the reverend is going to rape him. I kept waiting for the sorioty chick's head to explode and the reverend to appear in the car.

  • Mr ObersmithMr Obersmith Registered User regular
    Invisible wrote: »
    Did Jason's actor sign get a no-nudity clause added? Cause there was no butt shot of him and I don't think there was one last season either. Just bizarre that we see more of Andy than Jason.

    And I have a bad feeling the reverend is going to rape him. I kept waiting for the sorioty chick's head to explode and the reverend to appear in the car.

    I think that may have already happened. What with the glamour and all.

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  • DiannaoChongDiannaoChong Registered User regular
    I think it was a reverse situation, I don't think they would put him through getting violated per se, but if you will "being the pitcher". then there would be an awkward set of situations where he says its still rape and people laugh at him.

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  • belligerentbelligerent Registered User regular
    I wish I was Jessica's.


    Also, my wife laughed at me because she said, "Oh look they're playing Rockband." And I immediately said, "Nope, it's Guitar Hero. I could tell as soon as I saw the drumset."

  • TomantaTomanta Registered User regular
    Is it bad that I wasn't interested in anything at all except Bill & Eric's Awesome Journey?

  • PierceNeckPierceNeck Simi Valley, CARegistered User regular
    Eric cleaning everything while Bill's on the phone amused me way more than it should have.

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  • Doctor DetroitDoctor Detroit Registered User regular
    Nice to see Patty the Daytime Hooker again, although I think Martha may actually be less classy.

  • TheCanManTheCanMan Registered User regular
    I think Sam has finally supplanted Tara as the character I hate the most.

    Re: Tara
    I'm assuming Vamp Tara isn't going to be anything even close to resembling whiny poor little victim Tara, so I'm ok with her not being dead-dead.

    Re: Sam
    I swear to fucking Christ, if that asshole doesn't turn into something interesting soon I'm going to loose it. "Oh no, I'm cornered by a few wolves. Whatever could someone with the ability to transform into any kind of animal possibly do? Oh, I know, I'll turn into fucking bird." Fuck you, Sam. There are atleast a half dozen animals that my 2 1/2 year old son can name that you're apparently too stupid to think of.

  • syndalissyndalis Getting Classy On the WallRegistered User, Loves Apple Products regular
    edited June 2012
    TheCanMan wrote: »
    I think Sam has finally supplanted Tara as the character I hate the most.

    Re: Tara
    I'm assuming Vamp Tara isn't going to be anything even close to resembling whiny poor little victim Tara, so I'm ok with her not being dead-dead.

    Re: Sam
    I swear to fucking Christ, if that asshole doesn't turn into something interesting soon I'm going to loose it. "Oh no, I'm cornered by a few wolves. Whatever could someone with the ability to transform into any kind of animal possibly do? Oh, I know, I'll turn into fucking bird." Fuck you, Sam. There are atleast a half dozen animals that my 2 1/2 year old son can name that you're apparently too stupid to think of.

    He has to understand the animal.

    If I were Sam, I would sell the bar, use the money to fund a safari adventure, and come back to town a goddamned superhero.

    syndalis on
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  • TheCanManTheCanMan Registered User regular
    syndalis wrote: »
    TheCanMan wrote: »
    I think Sam has finally supplanted Tara as the character I hate the most.

    Re: Tara
    I'm assuming Vamp Tara isn't going to be anything even close to resembling whiny poor little victim Tara, so I'm ok with her not being dead-dead.

    Re: Sam
    I swear to fucking Christ, if that asshole doesn't turn into something interesting soon I'm going to loose it. "Oh no, I'm cornered by a few wolves. Whatever could someone with the ability to transform into any kind of animal possibly do? Oh, I know, I'll turn into fucking bird." Fuck you, Sam. There are atleast a half dozen animals that my 2 1/2 year old son can name that you're apparently too stupid to think of.

    He has to understand the animal.

    If I were Sam, I would sell the bar, use the money to fund a safari adventure, and come back to town a goddamned superhero.

    As far as I'm aware, that has never been said in the show. It's just an external excuse for why he's so goddamned terrible.

    And even if it is true, he lives in a world that's pretty much chock full of superpowers but somehow it's never occurred to him to visit a zoo? I wouldn't even care if they want to go the route of it not being in his personality to go on the offensive with something like a tiger or a grizzly bear. How about an elephant? What the fuck are a couple wolves going to do to an elephant?

    There are only two choices for why he's so awful. Either the writers are completely incompetent morons, or his character is intentionally written to be a completely incompetent moron. And at this point I don't even care which one is correct. The end result of either is that there isn't anyone else on the show that makes me hate them this much. And it's not even close. With the new direction they're taking Tara, Sam is basically my only real complaint about the entire show.

  • InvisibleInvisible Registered User regular
    He's never seen a bear or an alligator? Actually didn't his brother turn into an alligator? Just visit a zoo.

    That's one thing the book gets right. Sam kicks ass when he shapeshifts.
    He tore some werewolves up as a lion.

    Shifters are looked down by the weres, but he could do so much more than fly away all the time. I understand from a show-limitation/budget aspect, but just once couldn't he turn into like an elephant or rhino and go to town?

  • DiannaoChongDiannaoChong Registered User regular
    edited June 2012
    Sam never had the right and formal training, they do mention that he has to spend alot of time with an animal and be familiar with it to turn. They loosened up on the rules a bit with the emergency bird use, and I guess the cow(but cows are around, so meh). I mean they said the above, but they all but directly said he could turn into that dog, because he was around it all the time.

    DiannaoChong on
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  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    Yeah, we've had this discussion before. Sam is not good at shapeshifting, and doesn't like shapeshifting much. He's fucked in the head from his shitty family life, and has no interest in being a superhero. He wants to run his bar and bang hot chicks.

    Maybe Sam will get serious about his shifting someday. If the budget allows it. In the meantime, just understand that he's generally more dangerous as a human than an animal.

    As for Tara, this was totally what a lot of us expected to happen.
    Human!Tara was damaged to the point where it just was not fun watching her anymore. Okay fine, it hadn't been fun watching her since the first season. Vampire!Tara probably won't even be Tara, considering that the vampire turning had to re-make a good percent of her brainmeats from scratch.

    My guess is that she'll be reasonably functional, just not remember anything about her former life. If she ever gets her memories back, it'll be through brujo magic.

    I actually hope that doesn't happen, because that would put a strain on her relations with Pam, and the dynamic of Pam mentoring amnesiac Tara actually seems hilarious to me.

    Gary Gygax wrote:
    ''The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules.''
  • CanadianWolverineCanadianWolverine Registered User regular
    Anyone else remember when Tara just about became a vampire bride and Jason saved her? Or how she has just last season had some words and actions that seemed like she was going to attempt being a vampire hunter?

    (last ep spoiler)
    Something tells me Tara is going to be really pissed off at Sookie if she even has the slightest hint of a memory or her former personality. Something from the books
    that made my wife laugh was my suggestion she would be a retarded vampire like Bubba, vampire Elvis Presley.

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  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    Anyone else remember when Tara just about became a vampire bride and Jason saved her? Or how she has just last season had some words and actions that seemed like she was going to attempt being a vampire hunter?

    (last ep spoiler)
    Something tells me Tara is going to be really pissed off at Sookie if she even has the slightest hint of a memory or her former personality.

    Oh, no question.
    Tara would've never have wanted to be a vampire. And Sookie knew it. Sookie is just turning evil (c.f. "I murdered Debbie 100% on purpose"). I mean, Sookie has never been a paragon of virtue or anything, but she's being supremely selfish by trying to bring Tara back. Essentially she's shitting on Tara's final choice, the fate that she ultimately decided for herself; dying to save her best friend.

    Tara's been a victim the whole show, but, at the end, she was a hero.

    Now Sookie's made her into a monster.

    Gary Gygax wrote:
    ''The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules.''
  • Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    Anyone else remember when Tara just about became a vampire bride and Jason saved her? Or how she has just last season had some words and actions that seemed like she was going to attempt being a vampire hunter?

    (last ep spoiler)
    Something tells me Tara is going to be really pissed off at Sookie if she even has the slightest hint of a memory or her former personality.

    Oh, no question.
    Tara would've never have wanted to be a vampire. And Sookie knew it. Sookie is just turning evil (c.f. "I murdered Debbie 100% on purpose"). I mean, Sookie has never been a paragon of virtue or anything, but she's being supremely selfish by trying to bring Tara back. Essentially she's shitting on Tara's final choice, the fate that she ultimately decided for herself; dying to save her best friend.

    Tara's been a victim the whole show, but, at the end, she was a hero.

    Now Sookie's made her into a monster.

    The Fae are pretty unfailingly selfish, though, so I'm okay with that if it they manage to actually go further down that path

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  • valiancevaliance Registered User regular
    wow. eric's sister, wow.

  • KoopahTroopahKoopahTroopah The koopas, the troopas. Philadelphia, PARegistered User regular
    edited June 2012
    valiance wrote: »
    wow. eric's sister, wow.

    Dude, her and the new werewolf chick are amazing. Props to the casting crew who sit around and look at attractive people all day.

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  • Banzai5150Banzai5150 Registered User regular
    New Werewolf Chick and Hot Sister! Yes please.

    Tara? Fuck her I Hate that girl so bad. Even lame, whiny Sam doesn't get on my nerves as much as Tara.
    I think:
    Lafeyette is so kickass they should have left her dead and had him use his Medium magic to contact her once or twice this season for some reason or another. In other words, More Lafeyette and much much Less Tara.

    Does this mean that with Vamp Tara there will be more Pam though? I kinda like Pam. She's a pretty evil self centered bitch and I can respect that.

    Now, about Jason?
    He's done fucked Jessica enough to permanently put a wedge between him and Hoyt, and for some reason I kinda like Hoyt and had hoped that he'd be turned by Jessica but alas, not to be. Oh speaking of Jessica...No more mention of her Hymen being broken every time she has sex? Wasn't that a problem for her in the beginning? And while I ramble, I'm curious if it's the "horndog" of Jason causing all the sex with Jessica or the blood she's given him, and of course him not being able to think clearly normally anyway.

    And as others have said, Side characters are becoming way to involved in story lines now that things are just getting out of hand.


    Lastly - Keep Eric and True Death Bill and I'll be a happy watcher. So tired of Bill Compton. Also, if there was a way to remove Sookie from the show :P

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  • Apothe0sisApothe0sis Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? Registered User regular
    edited June 2012
    While it is true that Sam is a bit dense - if you're going to hang around in Bon Temps, land of constantly fucked up shit happening, you should probably familiarise yourself with a few attack/defense animals.

    But the idea that anything short of a rhinoceros or elephant would be sufficient to defend against a pack of wolves is reminiscent of the great [chat] debate regarding whether or not only stupid people could be killed by dogs.

    On a related note I was fact checking on Wikipedia when I came across the following sentence on the bear baiting page and it is hilarious in the degree to which it is appalling:
    A variation involved other animals being baited, especially bulls, but also, on one curious occasion, a pony with an ape tied to its back was baited: a spectator described that "...with the screaming of the ape, beholding the curs hanging from the ears and neck of the pony, is very laughable".

    Apothe0sis on
    Tide goes in. Tide goes out.
    Es-annon NEVA 4GET
  • RT800RT800 Registered User regular
    Well then Sam should just morph into the bubonic plague and give them all the black death.

  • Apothe0sisApothe0sis Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? Registered User regular
    BOOM!

    Tide goes in. Tide goes out.
    Es-annon NEVA 4GET
  • electricitylikesmeelectricitylikesme Registered User regular
    Banzai5150 wrote: »
    Now, about Jason?
    He's done fucked Jessica enough to permanently put a wedge between him and Hoyt, and for some reason I kinda like Hoyt and had hoped that he'd be turned by Jessica but alas, not to be. Oh speaking of Jessica...No more mention of her Hymen being broken every time she has sex? Wasn't that a problem for her in the beginning? And while I ramble, I'm curious if it's the "horndog" of Jason causing all the sex with Jessica or the blood she's given him, and of course him not being able to think clearly normally anyway.

    Vampires seem to spend a lot of time tearing holes in their skin anyway. I mean, it can't be completely painless to bite a hole in your wrist, unless the fangs are actually anesthetizing or something.

  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    Dear God let us not go down the road of Sam and the Zoo again. Every season someone brings it up, bitches about Sam's shitty shifting choices, and its 10 pages of what he should have changed into.

    Five seasons in ladies and gents. By this point, it's time to accept thats just the way Sam is. If the show gets a bigger budget and they decide to change that; huzzah. But his character is pretty well established as "not that shifter".

    I now want Jessica and Eric's sister to meet, intimately. And then have them be ever so briefly interrupted by new werewolf hottie. Whom, since this is True Blood on HBO, decides to join in.

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  • KoopahTroopahKoopahTroopah The koopas, the troopas. Philadelphia, PARegistered User regular
    edited June 2012
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    I now want Jessica and Eric's sister to meet, intimately. And then have them be ever so briefly interrupted by new werewolf hottie. Whom, since this is True Blood on HBO, decides to join in.

    :winky: Are you trying to break the internet?

    I think Jessica's becoming a bitch. Like back when she was first turned she was just annoying, and then she got awesome. I'm just worried that she'll go down the annoying path again.

    Either way, still the hottest vampire on the show.

    P.S. Sam rules. Here's hoping he turns into a lion this season :D

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    She's just moving into her college age. It makes since given eveything she has been through and her age.

    I heard college girls sometimes experiment. With eachother.

    Ah yeah.

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  • KoopahTroopahKoopahTroopah The koopas, the troopas. Philadelphia, PARegistered User regular
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    She's just moving into her college age. It makes since given eveything she has been through and her age.

    I heard college girls sometimes experiment. With eachother.

    Ah yeah.

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  • XeddicusXeddicus Registered User regular
    edited June 2012
    Banzai5150 wrote: »
    Now, about Jason?
    He's done fucked Jessica enough to permanently put a wedge between him and Hoyt, and for some reason I kinda like Hoyt and had hoped that he'd be turned by Jessica but alas, not to be. Oh speaking of Jessica...No more mention of her Hymen being broken every time she has sex? Wasn't that a problem for her in the beginning? And while I ramble, I'm curious if it's the "horndog" of Jason causing all the sex with Jessica or the blood she's given him, and of course him not being able to think clearly normally anyway.

    Jason and Jessica are just creating more relationship crap (Jason keeps doing this, actually...panther's...sigh...) the show doesn't need. It doesn't help Hoyt is like one of the only guys on the show not to do anything stupid and is a good guy and then gets crapped all over. They could still spin it out where it's some combination of Jason's horndog, blood, Jessica realizing what she threw away after waking up from the 3(4) way with (Jason), Eric's Sister and Werewolf Chick etc etc. But it'll probably end up with Hoyt dying to protect one of them. Probably Jessica. In her arms. And then Terry will snap and try to kill Arlene. Because no one can be happy damnit! Then we could sideline those characters mostly (Jessica is exempted as she can do Vampy things. Like strip.)

    Jessica turning into a bit of a bitch aside, her getting to trump another vampire for being older was a nice moment. Kickass Jessica is much better than Relationship Crisis Jessica.

    Xeddicus on
    "For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men. Not women. Not beasts...this you can trust."
  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    edited June 2012
    I think I saw on this season's trailers
    Jessica biting a blonde girl. Not sure if it's Jason's sorority friend. What are the chances that Jason and Jessica compete by working their way through the sorority house, conquest by conquest?

    Honestly, perversion-wise, this season premere was pretty weak. Couple of butt shots
    (one was... Andy? Ehhh...)
    . That's mostly it. Eric's sister kept her top on, and Foxy Werewolf Chick had the Godiva Hair thing going on. That's gotta be a tricky shapeshift. "Okay, I'm going to turn from a wolf into a human, but I need my human hair parted forward to cover my bosoms. You know, to be modest (despite not having any bottoms on either)."

    Dracomicron on
    Gary Gygax wrote:
    ''The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules.''
  • KoopahTroopahKoopahTroopah The koopas, the troopas. Philadelphia, PARegistered User regular
    I think I saw on this season's trailers
    Jessica biting a blonde girl. Not sure if it's Jason's sorority friend. What are the chances that Jason and Jessica compete by working their way through the sorority house, conquest by conquest?

    Honestly, perversion-wise, this season premere was pretty weak. Couple of butt shots
    (one was... Andy? Ehhh...)
    . That's mostly it. Eric's sister kept her top on, and Foxy Werewolf Chick had the Godiva Hair thing going on. That's gotta be a tricky shapeshift. "Okay, I'm going to turn from a wolf into a human, but I need my human hair parted forward to cover my bosoms. You know, to be modest (despite not having any bottoms on either)."

    Leaves something to the imagination, but yeah I was confused about that too.

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  • TheCanManTheCanMan Registered User regular
    edited June 2012
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    Dear God let us not go down the road of Sam and the Zoo again. Every season someone brings it up, bitches about Sam's shitty shifting choices, and its 10 pages of what he should have changed into.

    Five seasons in ladies and gents. By this point, it's time to accept thats just the way Sam is. If the show gets a bigger budget and they decide to change that; huzzah. But his character is pretty well established as "not that shifter".

    I now want Jessica and Eric's sister to meet, intimately. And then have them be ever so briefly interrupted by new werewolf hottie. Whom, since this is True Blood on HBO, decides to join in.

    You really think it's just because of the budget? With all the special effects in this show, you really don't think they could have thrown Barnum & Bailey a few bucks to borrow an elephant for the day? I mean, I'm not asking for Silver Back Sam to go rampaging around Bon Temps every time someone short-tips a waitress. But just once, just once, it'd be nice to see him do something in the face of danger that's even mildly interesting given his ability that lends itself to so much creativity.

    TheCanMan on
  • amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    I've already called it.

    Sam needs to get away for a while and "find himself"

    So he goes to Scotland and he gets to be buddy buddy with a certain mythical beast of dinosaur times.

    Cut to the end of the series, episode before the finale, and Sam, fighting with Sookie, Bill, Eric, etc against an army of unstoppable baddies, turns into the Loch Ness monster.

    Even though he couldn't breathe above water for long and he couldn't really move, he'd have the entire enemy force awestruck in fear and confusion, and he'd eat most of the enemies key soldiers/officers, then revert back to Sam and explode from the extra meat in his now small stomach.

    That's the best way to make the fanboys happy. One good scene with Sam.


    Arch wrote: »

    I never expected this burn from captain bushmeat
  • TheCanManTheCanMan Registered User regular
    I've already called it.

    Sam needs to get away for a while and "find himself"

    So he goes to Scotland and he gets to be buddy buddy with a certain mythical beast of dinosaur times.

    Cut to the end of the series, episode before the finale, and Sam, fighting with Sookie, Bill, Eric, etc against an army of unstoppable baddies, turns into the Loch Ness monster.

    Even though he couldn't breathe above water for long and he couldn't really move, he'd have the entire enemy force awestruck in fear and confusion, and he'd eat most of the enemies key soldiers/officers, then revert back to Sam and explode from the extra meat in his now small stomach.

    That's the best way to make the fanboys happy. One good scene with Sam.

    You're right, that would make me happy.

  • CanadianWolverineCanadianWolverine Registered User regular
    He doesn't even need to go big, he could go the other way and still find things that would kick a grizzly bear's ass, let alone wolves, a wolverine would be right up his alley. They tend to be loners, stubborn as fuck, and ruthless - I think it would be a perfect fit for what we know of Sam now.

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  • kaidkaid Registered User regular
    syndalis wrote: »
    TheCanMan wrote: »
    I think Sam has finally supplanted Tara as the character I hate the most.

    Re: Tara
    I'm assuming Vamp Tara isn't going to be anything even close to resembling whiny poor little victim Tara, so I'm ok with her not being dead-dead.

    Re: Sam
    I swear to fucking Christ, if that asshole doesn't turn into something interesting soon I'm going to loose it. "Oh no, I'm cornered by a few wolves. Whatever could someone with the ability to transform into any kind of animal possibly do? Oh, I know, I'll turn into fucking bird." Fuck you, Sam. There are atleast a half dozen animals that my 2 1/2 year old son can name that you're apparently too stupid to think of.

    He has to understand the animal.

    If I were Sam, I would sell the bar, use the money to fund a safari adventure, and come back to town a goddamned superhero.

    Hell Sam knows giant bull as that is what he used to kill the maenad I don't see why he does not whip that one out when in danger more.

  • CabezoneCabezone Registered User regular
    He doesn't even need to go big, he could go the other way and still find things that would kick a grizzly bear's ass, let alone wolves, a wolverine would be right up his alley. They tend to be loners, stubborn as fuck, and ruthless - I think it would be a perfect fit for what we know of Sam now.


    That only works on lone, unintelligent, wolves. A pack of werewolves is not even remotely the same thing. Bears don't mess with wolverines because they're not worth the trouble. A wolverine isn't about to kill a Kodiac bear. A shifter changing into one of the more impressive, and large, animals would be able to take out packs of intelligent wolves.

  • JohnnyCacheJohnnyCache Starting Defense Registered User regular
    It's best not to think too hard about sam, because "animal man power" is actually one of those terribly broken, green lantern, can-only-be fixed-through-bad-writing powers.

    Anybody that's ever GM'd a dungeons and dragons game on a day a wizard leveled up and got access to "polymorph self" knows that. Sam is basically uncontainable, so there just have to be limits to what he actually does. FWIW the show wiki says the template animal has to be in the area, but they seem to have discarded that for the dog

  • surrealitychecksurrealitycheck the search for the means to put an end to things an end to speech is what enables the discourse to continue ~ * ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) excelsior * ~Registered User regular
    edited June 2012
    i dont understand why werewolves are threatening

    a man with a gun is much more dangerous than a wolf, even a large clever wolf

    their shifting seems to afford them nothing

    surrealitycheck on
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  • JohnnyCacheJohnnyCache Starting Defense Registered User regular
    i dont understand why werewolves are threatening

    a man with a gun is much more dangerous than a wolf, even a large clever wolf

    their shifting seems to afford them nothing

    I mean, a big guy is less threatening than a guy with a gun, but they still have a certain place in the pantheon of threats, do they not?

    Think of a werewolf as a really big guy.

    But I think they agree with you and that's why they are/were "Closeted" on the show for so long.


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