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if you were the star of a cheesy sci fi movie

AvrahamAvraham Registered User regular
edited July 2011 in Social Entropy++
like a sci fi buddy comedy with a hint of social commentary

some friendly alien approaches you and wants to hang out

the alien is not single so unfortunately there will be no makeouts

how would you plan this night out on the town?

:bz: :bz: :bzz:
Avraham on

Posts

  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    stealth okcupid thread

    Brolo on
  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    We wouldn't look for trouble...

    ...but trouble would find us.

    godmode on
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    You're not clever. Stop trying.

    Hunter on
  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Hunter wrote: »
    You're not clever. Stop trying.

    Man don't say this to a new alien!

    He'd fuck right off and never come back and we need that space tourism

    We need it

    Edcrab on
    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Edcrab wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    You're not clever. Stop trying.

    Man don't say this to a new alien!

    He'd fuck right off and never come back and we need that space tourism

    We need it

    We get enough tourism from...

    THE MOTHERFUCKING SPACE OLYMPICS! YEAAAH HEAH!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9wBRmy1Iho

    Hunter on
  • CorporateLogoCorporateLogo The toilet knows how I feelRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I'd tell him I don't mind stealing bread from the mouth of decadence

    But I can't feed all the powerless when my cup's already overfilled

    CorporateLogo on
    Do not have a cow, mortal.

    c9PXgFo.jpg
  • mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    id be the socially inept guy who stays inside all day on a bunch computers but even though on the outside im jhust a lame nerd in the end its my elite hacking skills that saves the day except for the last part id really just be a useless sack of virtual shit same as ever but IN SPAAAACE

    mensch-o-matic on
  • CrossBusterCrossBuster Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    If I were the star of a cheesy sci fi movie, I assume I'd be an actor. And the aliens would presumably be fictional.

    Or did real aliens just happen to land on the set of the movie while we were filming, in which case, why does it matter to this hypothetical that I'm a B-list actor?

    Or do you mean "character in" instead of "star of"?

    CrossBuster on
    penguins.png
  • StaleghotiStaleghoti Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I would fuck every species I could get my dick into

    Staleghoti on
    tmmysta-sig.png2wT1Q.gifYAH!YAH!STEAMYoutubeMixesPSN: Clintown
    Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
  • PeccaviPeccavi Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I'd probably be Megashark.

    Maybe Gatoroid

    Peccavi on
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Staleghoti wrote: »
    I would fuck every species I could get my dick into

    Thresher Maw says :winky:

    Thresher_Maws_Codex_Image.jpg

    Hunter on
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Avraham wrote: »
    like a sci fi buddy comedy with a hint of social commentary

    some friendly alien approaches you and wants to hang out

    the alien is not single so unfortunately there will be no makeouts

    how would you plan this night out on the town?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6XpLQM2Cs

    Clint Eastwood on
  • StaleghotiStaleghoti Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    gimme dat maw pussy

    Staleghoti on
    tmmysta-sig.png2wT1Q.gifYAH!YAH!STEAMYoutubeMixesPSN: Clintown
    Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
  • mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    actually id be an alien and id fuck every human i saw

    with my metal, spiked alien lady-dick

    mensch-o-matic on
  • mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    even jokingly wanting to fuck an alien is funny because dude, half the shit on EARTH would murder you if you got within ten feet of its fucking zone

    getting absorbed by your partner and turned into her dick is a thing that ALREADY HAPPENS HERE why would it be any better on planets with acid for air or w/e

    mensch-o-matic on
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    actually id be an alien and id fuck every human i saw

    with my metal, spiked alien lady-dick

    So Ke$ha like he posted before.

    Hunter on
  • mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    spiked lady-dicks are probably the least of your worries from fucking ke$ha

    mensch-o-matic on
  • BlendtecBlendtec Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Hunter wrote: »
    Staleghoti wrote: »
    I would fuck every species I could get my dick into

    Thresher Maw says :winky:

    Thresher_Maws_Codex_Image.jpg

    y halo thar

    Blendtec on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I would be Tits McGee, obligated to have two shower scenes in the movie and ready to run in slow mo at the sight of gross aliens

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • SquallSquall hap cloud Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    you'd think the bioluminescence and grotesque appearance would be enough cool things for anglerfish

    but nope gotta have super weird reproduction too

    Squall on
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2011
    Hunter wrote: »
    Staleghoti wrote: »
    I would fuck every species I could get my dick into

    Thresher Maw says :winky:

    Thresher_Maws_Codex_Image.jpg

    Nice try, Zarflax.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • CrossBusterCrossBuster Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    even jokingly wanting to fuck an alien is funny because dude, half the shit on EARTH would murder you if you got within ten feet of its fucking zone

    getting absorbed by your partner and turned into her dick is a thing that ALREADY HAPPENS HERE why would it be any better on planets with acid for air or w/e

    Wait, seriously?

    CrossBuster on
    penguins.png
  • StaleghotiStaleghoti Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    more like her balls

    Staleghoti on
    tmmysta-sig.png2wT1Q.gifYAH!YAH!STEAMYoutubeMixesPSN: Clintown
    Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
  • SquallSquall hap cloud Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    At birth, male ceratioids are already equipped with extremely well developed olfactory organs that detect scents in the water. The male ceratioid lives solely to find and mate with a female. They are significantly smaller than a female angler fish, and may have trouble finding food in the deep sea. Furthermore, the growth of the alimentary canals of some males becomes stunted, preventing them from feeding. These features necessitate his quickly finding a female anglerfish to prevent death. The sensitive olfactory organs help the male to detect the pheromones that signal the proximity of a female anglerfish. When he finds a female, he bites into her skin, and releases an enzyme that digests the skin of his mouth and her body, fusing the pair down to the blood-vessel level. The male then slowly atrophies, first losing his digestive organs, then his brain, heart, and eyes, and ends as nothing more than a pair of gonads, which release sperm in response to hormones in the female's bloodstream indicating egg release. This extreme sexual dimorphism ensures that, when the female is ready to spawn, she has a mate immediately available.[4] Multiple males can be incorporated into a single female.

    Squall on
  • HunteraHuntera Rude Boy Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Avraham wrote: »
    like a sci fi buddy comedy with a hint of social commentary

    some friendly alien approaches you and wants to hang out

    the alien is not single so unfortunately there will be no makeouts

    how would you plan this night out on the town?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6XpLQM2Cs


    Better.

    Huntera on
  • Virgil_Leads_YouVirgil_Leads_You Proud Father House GardenerRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I would allow this alien to be my interstellar wingman.

    Virgil_Leads_You on
    VayBJ4e.png
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    so is this alien nation or enemy mine we're talking about here?

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Squall wrote: »
    At birth, male ceratioids are already equipped with extremely well developed olfactory organs that detect scents in the water. The male ceratioid lives solely to find and mate with a female. They are significantly smaller than a female angler fish, and may have trouble finding food in the deep sea. Furthermore, the growth of the alimentary canals of some males becomes stunted, preventing them from feeding. These features necessitate his quickly finding a female anglerfish to prevent death. The sensitive olfactory organs help the male to detect the pheromones that signal the proximity of a female anglerfish. When he finds a female, he bites into her skin, and releases an enzyme that digests the skin of his mouth and her body, fusing the pair down to the blood-vessel level. The male then slowly atrophies, first losing his digestive organs, then his brain, heart, and eyes, and ends as nothing more than a pair of gonads, which release sperm in response to hormones in the female's bloodstream indicating egg release. This extreme sexual dimorphism ensures that, when the female is ready to spawn, she has a mate immediately available.[4] Multiple males can be incorporated into a single female.

    D:


    D:


    D:


    :[

    Abracadaniel on
  • CrossBusterCrossBuster Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Squall wrote: »
    At birth, male ceratioids are already equipped with extremely well developed olfactory organs that detect scents in the water. The male ceratioid lives solely to find and mate with a female. They are significantly smaller than a female angler fish, and may have trouble finding food in the deep sea. Furthermore, the growth of the alimentary canals of some males becomes stunted, preventing them from feeding. These features necessitate his quickly finding a female anglerfish to prevent death. The sensitive olfactory organs help the male to detect the pheromones that signal the proximity of a female anglerfish. When he finds a female, he bites into her skin, and releases an enzyme that digests the skin of his mouth and her body, fusing the pair down to the blood-vessel level. The male then slowly atrophies, first losing his digestive organs, then his brain, heart, and eyes, and ends as nothing more than a pair of gonads, which release sperm in response to hormones in the female's bloodstream indicating egg release. This extreme sexual dimorphism ensures that, when the female is ready to spawn, she has a mate immediately available.[4] Multiple males can be incorporated into a single female.

    Oh for fuck's sake, nature.

    CrossBuster on
    penguins.png
  • Mortal SkyMortal Sky queer punk hedge witchRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I have a Tsutomu Nihei manga lying around somewhere in which humans eventually evolve to that state of sexual dimorphism in a post-post-post-post-post apocalypse that's utterly wiped out everything else besides cockroaches. One of the more fucked up things I've ever read. The only reason I own it is that it's in a large compendium of one-shots by him.

    Maybe that's why we don't have an anime thread.

    Mortal Sky on
  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository Bawstan New EnglandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Squall wrote: »
    At birth, male ceratioids are already equipped with extremely well developed olfactory organs that detect scents in the water. The male ceratioid lives solely to find and mate with a female. They are significantly smaller than a female angler fish, and may have trouble finding food in the deep sea. Furthermore, the growth of the alimentary canals of some males becomes stunted, preventing them from feeding. These features necessitate his quickly finding a female anglerfish to prevent death. The sensitive olfactory organs help the male to detect the pheromones that signal the proximity of a female anglerfish. When he finds a female, he bites into her skin, and releases an enzyme that digests the skin of his mouth and her body, fusing the pair down to the blood-vessel level. The male then slowly atrophies, first losing his digestive organs, then his brain, heart, and eyes, and ends as nothing more than a pair of gonads, which release sperm in response to hormones in the female's bloodstream indicating egg release. This extreme sexual dimorphism ensures that, when the female is ready to spawn, she has a mate immediately available.[4] Multiple males can be incorporated into a single female.

    Oh for fuck's sake, nature.

    And here I was ready to blame Japan, but this just raises it to a whole new level.

    The Otaku Suppository on
  • thorgotthorgot there is special providence in the fall of a sparrowRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    we would do some crop circles and alien abductions (really just take them to wendy's and feed them some ice cream), but only to people who are already crazy so nobody believes them

    thorgot on
    campionthorgotsig.jpg
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I don't know for certain what we'd do. I am certain that the phrase "No, I swear, this is how we shake hands on this planet" would come up with disturbing frequency.

    see317 on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    0.jpg

    Weaver on
  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Huntera wrote: »
    Avraham wrote: »
    like a sci fi buddy comedy with a hint of social commentary

    some friendly alien approaches you and wants to hang out

    the alien is not single so unfortunately there will be no makeouts

    how would you plan this night out on the town?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6XpLQM2Cs


    Better.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTC4x73pKdY

    Jordyn on
    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Squall wrote: »
    At birth, male ceratioids are already equipped with extremely well developed olfactory organs that detect scents in the water. The male ceratioid lives solely to find and mate with a female. They are significantly smaller than a female angler fish, and may have trouble finding food in the deep sea. Furthermore, the growth of the alimentary canals of some males becomes stunted, preventing them from feeding. These features necessitate his quickly finding a female anglerfish to prevent death. The sensitive olfactory organs help the male to detect the pheromones that signal the proximity of a female anglerfish. When he finds a female, he bites into her skin, and releases an enzyme that digests the skin of his mouth and her body, fusing the pair down to the blood-vessel level. The male then slowly atrophies, first losing his digestive organs, then his brain, heart, and eyes, and ends as nothing more than a pair of gonads, which release sperm in response to hormones in the female's bloodstream indicating egg release. This extreme sexual dimorphism ensures that, when the female is ready to spawn, she has a mate immediately available.[4] Multiple males can be incorporated into a single female.

    Oh for fuck's sake, nature.

    This is what's going to happen to us isn't it

    sonova

    Seriously on
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