The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Getting married
FF
Once Upon a TimeIn OaklandRegistered User regular
Once Upon a TimeIn OaklandRegistered User regular
And it's gonna be awesome.
Now, I'm naturally kinda paranoid about stuff so it could just be that, but I can't shake this feeling like there are all sorts of things to do beforehand.
We're planning on getting married in Las Vegas, along with Mrs. FFs sister and fiancé. I'm going to leave the details of venue, ceremony and the like up to the girls. The only thing that jumps in to my mind is a marriage license. Pre-nup is out, neither of us is really worried about that kind of thing. Or has any money/assets to lose anyway.
Past that, what, if anything should I be thinking about getting done?
Now, I'm naturally kinda paranoid about stuff so it could just be that, but I can't shake this feeling like there are all sorts of things to do beforehand.
We're planning on getting married in Las Vegas, along with Mrs. FFs sister and fiancé. I'm going to leave the details of venue, ceremony and the like up to the girls. The only thing that jumps in to my mind is a marriage license. Pre-nup is out, neither of us is really worried about that kind of thing. Or has any money/assets to lose anyway.
Past that, what, if anything should I be thinking about getting done?
Huh...
FF on
0
Posts
Since you're doing a Vegas wedding, here's a few things to think about besides the license:
-Do you have your wedding bands (rings)?
-Are you writing your own vows?
-What are you wearing?
-Do you want it to be video taped?
-Photographer?
Other than that, since it's just the four of you, you don't have much else to think about unless you're having a reception, but from your post, it doesn't sound like it.
I found the biggest issue at my tiny wedding was transportation. We'd never been there before and had some trouble figuring out where to park. Are you planning on driving yourselves? Then do a practice run and figure out exactly what you'll do to get there. Timing it wouldn't hurt either. A taxi or limo is probably easier, but it also runs the risk of being late.
CSB time: My wife had custody of the marriage license and forgot it on the day of. The best man had to drive out to our apartment and rummage around in the closet to find it so the preacher could sign it.
0431-6094-6446-7088
Definitely rings, yo. Don't put that off either, it's the sort of thing where the ones you want are on 17-week backorder, but you only found them 4 days before the wedding.
RIngs we've got, oddly enough. And yes, we totally went through ring back order fiasco. But instead of back ordered it was a custom made ring that the artist "forgot" to make for 3 months after we sent the deposit in. And then forgot to ship for another month.
One thing to check into is reserving a block of rooms for your guests if people are traveling to the wedding. Most hotels will do this for a cheaper rate if you have enough people coming in.
Some florists will not take more than x amount of weddings per day if they do not have the staff, some may ask for a deposit. You can always email pictures to the florist if they are far away, or ring them up if you know exactly what you want.
Just go with it and do not put your foot down about anything. While the wedding is for both of you, the details of it are for her. I could not care less if I tried about the details of my own upcoming wedding ceremony, and I'll wager you're the same. I'm just happy to find someone who accepts that I love videogames and who is willing to marry me despite that.
If your bride has family (sister, mother) in immediate proximity, consider letting them go organise certain things. My own mother and my fiancee went together to select flowers, invitations, and venue, my only real input was in the catering side of things and even then I didn't offer any strong opinions. Its just not important to me, so it may as well be whatever she wants.
I strongly and respectfully disagree with all of the above. If you intend to abdicate your input, just keep a close eye on the cost. Shit can get out of hand fast.
Also, do not allow anyone anywhere near the preparation if they aren't "involved"* in that aspect of the wedding. Sure having your first dance on a cloud may sound so romantic to your fiancé's best friend, but she isn't going to be the one cutting an extra $300 check to the DJ for a smoke machine rental.
*"Involved" is polite wedding code for "paying for".
Also, you probably want to enjoy your wedding. Being uninvolved in wedding planning almost guarantees that will not happen. Think about things you and your guests will actually enjoy, rather than the things that seem really "cool". If you're going to be spending all day at a ceremony and reception, a few moments of "cool" gets lost pretty fast, but can cost you a lot.
But just bear in mind that she probably (I say probably, not all girls are like this) has very specific ideas about what she wants her wedding day to be like and is probably far more set on her ideas than you would be on yours. It is not worth an argument if she wants one kind of flowers and you want another kind, it is not worth an argument if she wants a certain type of music and you kind of want another.
This concept, for me, has been something I've tried to apply to the wedding itself overall, and would recommend anyone do so as well. It is not worth getting upset at the catering company if they don't do exactly the stuff you want, its not worth getting upset at the cake company if they can't make a cake exactly how you want it, and its not worth getting upset about anything.
It is better to have a wedding that is approximately 80-85% as good as you ideally would want it to be and to be stress-free about the whole thing than to desperately scramble to have everything perfect and run yourself to the point of burn-out trying to organise it all.
I agree about the rings though, don't put it off. But also don't listen to the absurd idea that her ring should be worth at least 3 months of your paychecks combined. That's a bullshit idea. Go in and find a ring (set) together, that fits her personality, and style. My wife's engagement ring (which she picked out) cost 1500, and her wedding ring cost 500. 2000 was not a big deal for me, and it wasn't 3 months pay, but I also didn't have it on hand to spend out of the checking account. So I compared credit rates, and the rate I'd get from my bank getting a 2000 dollar loan, and got the bank loan, and paid it all off in under a quarter of the time they gave me.
Yeah some of her friends husbands got suckered in to the idea that the only good ring, is one with a gigantic gaudy diamond on it. They are also the ones who go into crippling debt, because they think they need new cars every year, and the biggest houses they can get approved for. Make sure you stay within your means, no ring is worth years of debt.
As for your ring, if you're anything like me, don't get an expensive one. And by expensive I mean over $100 dollars! I've lost 3 of them already, and am on #4