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Who Wants To Play Some [Cowboys and Aliens]?

24

Posts

  • QuestionMarkManQuestionMarkMan Registered User regular
    So people who have seen the movie
    Olivia Wilde's character is a shapeshifting alien that came to Earth to warn people and stop the aliens from whatever? If she's a shapeshifter than why did it change into a woman? And why didn't she just change into one of the aliens to fight them and whahrieiyrkad;hsfd;sai;fhi;erfa;dshf

    Also, so the aliens are weak to sunlight because they spend so much time underground, and yet they had no trouble beating the shit out of the cowboys and indians outside in broad daylight?

  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    So people who have seen the movie
    Olivia Wilde's character is a shapeshifting alien that came to Earth to warn people and stop the aliens from whatever? If she's a shapeshifter than why did it change into a woman? And why didn't she just change into one of the aliens to fight them and whahrieiyrkad;hsfd;sai;fhi;erfa;dshf

    Also, so the aliens are weak to sunlight because they spend so much time underground, and yet they had no trouble beating the shit out of the cowboys and indians outside in broad daylight?
    The aliens had no trouble beating the shit out of them because 90% of the time, they weren't teaming up against the aliens, or even using weapons, they were turning tail and running away.

    And I'm not even gonna try to explain the Olivia Wilde thing. Even I didn't understand that.

  • DidgeridooDidgeridoo Registered User regular
    So people who have seen the movie
    Olivia Wilde's character is a shapeshifting alien that came to Earth to warn people and stop the aliens from whatever? If she's a shapeshifter than why did it change into a woman? And why didn't she just change into one of the aliens to fight them and whahrieiyrkad;hsfd;sai;fhi;erfa;dshf

    Also, so the aliens are weak to sunlight because they spend so much time underground, and yet they had no trouble beating the shit out of the cowboys and indians outside in broad daylight?
    She shapeshifted into a human so she would have a shot at getting with Daniel Craig, of course. Who wouldn't?

    But yeah, the deadliness of the aliens shifted dramatically from scene to scene. One minute the humans are being mowed down like cattle and the next the aliens seem unable to even take down Harrison Ford who is both a bajillion years old and a sitting duck as he mourns the loss of that Indian kid he kind of seemed to hate

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  • QuestionMarkManQuestionMarkMan Registered User regular
    So people who have seen the movie
    Olivia Wilde's character is a shapeshifting alien that came to Earth to warn people and stop the aliens from whatever? If she's a shapeshifter than why did it change into a woman? And why didn't she just change into one of the aliens to fight them and whahrieiyrkad;hsfd;sai;fhi;erfa;dshf

    Also, so the aliens are weak to sunlight because they spend so much time underground, and yet they had no trouble beating the shit out of the cowboys and indians outside in broad daylight?
    The aliens had no trouble beating the shit out of them because 90% of the time, they weren't teaming up against the aliens, or even using weapons, they were turning tail and running away.

    And I'm not even gonna try to explain the Olivia Wilde thing. Even I didn't understand that.
    But I'm talking about the final 20 minute battle where, in the scene immediately beforehand, Wilde said they don't like sunlight

  • ToxTox I kill threads Punch DimensionRegistered User regular
    So people who have seen the movie
    Also, so the aliens are weak to sunlight because they spend so much time underground, and yet they had no trouble beating the shit out of the cowboys and indians outside in broad daylight?

    No, wait, what? What the fuck? Awh, goddamnit. This shit again? God I hate that shit.
    It's fucking Signs all over again.

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  • DidgeridooDidgeridoo Registered User regular
    Tox wrote:
    So people who have seen the movie
    Also, so the aliens are weak to sunlight because they spend so much time underground, and yet they had no trouble beating the shit out of the cowboys and indians outside in broad daylight?

    No, wait, what? What the fuck? Awh, goddamnit. This shit again? God I hate that shit.
    It's fucking Signs all over again.
    No, no the sunlight doesn't actually hurt them, per se, they just can't see very well in daylight

    Or they're not SUPPOSED to see very well in daylight, they didn't really seem to have much trouble finding people and ripping out their guts

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  • DrIanMalcolmDrIanMalcolm Registered User regular
    Other stupid thing about the aliens
    Having their hearts fully exposed when their chests open up and that scene where the alien tries to grab the kid with his fleshy arms that are shorter than his normal ones

  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    So people who have seen the movie
    Olivia Wilde's character is a shapeshifting alien that came to Earth to warn people and stop the aliens from whatever? If she's a shapeshifter than why did it change into a woman? And why didn't she just change into one of the aliens to fight them and whahrieiyrkad;hsfd;sai;fhi;erfa;dshf

    Also, so the aliens are weak to sunlight because they spend so much time underground, and yet they had no trouble beating the shit out of the cowboys and indians outside in broad daylight?
    The aliens had no trouble beating the shit out of them because 90% of the time, they weren't teaming up against the aliens, or even using weapons, they were turning tail and running away.

    And I'm not even gonna try to explain the Olivia Wilde thing. Even I didn't understand that.
    But I'm talking about the final 20 minute battle where, in the scene immediately beforehand, Wilde said they don't like sunlight
    Magic.

  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    Other stupid thing about the aliens
    Having their hearts fully exposed when their chests open up and that scene where the alien tries to grab the kid with his fleshy arms that are shorter than his normal ones

    Are you kidding? That was hilarious
    "OH LOOK AT ME I'M THIS GIGANTIC FUCKING ALIEN THAT'S GONNA EAT YOUR VERY SOUL AND MY CHEST OPENS UP AND I GRAB YOUR HEART WITH MY HUGE HANDS oh wait I have T-Rex arms woops"

  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    Didgeridoo wrote:
    This movie was the most fun I've had at the theater in a while, but I went in with that mindset. I wanted it to be silly and it was! I wanted it to be action packed and it was! I wanted it to have pretty people starring in it and it did! I wanted aliens to be in it and by golly, there were aliens!

    If your expectations for this movie deviate too far from that list, you will probably not like it. But if you want to see a super-fun summer popcorn movie, you have just hit the jackpot

    this is the mentality i went in with and it was literally the most boring experience i've ever had at a movie
    i was checking my watch every other second

  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    and why does it even matter if

    spoilers
    olivia wilde sacrifices herself? because she is apparently immortal?

    god the whole movie was just mind blowingly bad. not in a snakes on a plane way, just regular 'this isnt fun. this is bad'

    a film needs internal consistency, and this did not have it.

  • QuestionMarkManQuestionMarkMan Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I found myself agreeing with this review a lot
    But there are no answers. While the film plays out like a mystery of some sort – we get progressive flashbacks to explain what happened to Craig (as if we couldn’t figure that out pretty much from the start) – the aliens have no real motivation to be taking humans. And so the mystery has no payoff; anybody with a functioning brain can figure out what happened to Craig’s wife, and then there’s no larger reveal about the aliens. The script is by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, credited amid a flurry of previous writers, and the structure of the film feels poisoned by the JJ Abrams touch. Not everything is a mystery, guys.

    There’s plenty of the poisonous Orci and Kurtzman touch as well. The plot is limp and feels arbitrary, dropping elements suddenly (“We’re trailing a wounded alien!”) in favor of new plot elements (“The Indians who arrived out of nowhere will heal your brain with peyote, meaning we no longer have to bother with the wounded alien!”). The character development is simply dismal, and some characters get redeemed by… well, by nothing. They just are, and you should fucking deal with it. One guy changes clothes and that’s all the big redemption he needs.

    Don’t worry, there’s some blame to spread to Favreau as well. The entire film is limp, without any feeling of urgency or excitement. The action scenes are boring, and an attempt to create three-way parallel action in the big climax is a miserable failure. This is the sort of movie where the aliens are invincible right until the film needs them to be highly vincible, which is the worst sort of action movie bullshit. That whole climactic action scene is truly terrible, though, with some of the worst cross-cutting I’ve seen in a picture like this, and with some of the ‘action’ being simply ‘dull.’ One section has Olivia Wilde climbing through an alien ductwork system being chased by a creature who is never spatially established in relation to her, robbing the whole thing of any tension or even comprehension.

    The aliens are pretty okay, except for one shockingly stupid evolutionary trait which must have come from the bad script (they have little arms that unfold from their carapace, which they use for fine manipulation. But when their hands are out, their heart is fully exposed. WTF, Intelligent Designer?). They look a lot like big locusts or grasshoppers, kind of reminding me of the Chiggers from Space: Above and Beyond. They’re definitely in line with the Super 8 monster in that they’re highly evolved intelligent beings who don’t wear clothes and bound around eating people’s faces off like monsters, a curious disconnect that would be interesting if it meant anything but probably just comes from a development process where the producers wanted space ships AND scary monsters.

    QuestionMarkMan on
  • DrIanMalcolmDrIanMalcolm Registered User regular
    Really, you could've taken Olivia Wilde's character out and it would've been a better film, or at least more interesting

  • freakish lightfreakish light Registered User regular
    Kusuguttai wrote:
    and why does it even matter if

    spoilers
    olivia wilde sacrifices herself? because she is apparently immortal?

    god the whole movie was just mind blowingly bad. not in a snakes on a plane way, just regular 'this isnt fun. this is bad'

    a film needs internal consistency, and this did not have it.
    obviously her people could die, because they got killed off by the aliens when they were mining her planet for gold. They could have explained the rules better, though.

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread Registered User regular
    Antimatter wrote:
    PiptheFair wrote:
    Antimatter wrote:
    look
    if Keith and I can agree that a movie looks dumb

    you've got yourself a problem
    I ignore keith's opinion on everything because fucking seriously

    Yeah I don't think you two have very divergent opinions.
    he likes popmusic and chick flicks

    i like rock and action
    he hates giant robots, i dig giant robots

    we do not often agree
    Hey now, I like rock music and action movies, too

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread Registered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote:
    Antimatter wrote:
    look
    if Keith and I can agree that a movie looks dumb

    you've got yourself a problem
    I ignore keith's opinion on everything because fucking seriously

    love you, too, Pip

  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    Keith made a Blink 182 thread

    Keith has a Ke$ha av/sig

    Keith likes rock music and action movies

    Therefore Keith has amazing opinions and is awesome and perfect

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread Registered User regular
  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    Didgeridoo wrote:
    So people who have seen the movie
    Olivia Wilde's character is a shapeshifting alien that came to Earth to warn people and stop the aliens from whatever? If she's a shapeshifter than why did it change into a woman? And why didn't she just change into one of the aliens to fight them and whahrieiyrkad;hsfd;sai;fhi;erfa;dshf

    Also, so the aliens are weak to sunlight because they spend so much time underground, and yet they had no trouble beating the shit out of the cowboys and indians outside in broad daylight?
    She shapeshifted into a human so she would have a shot at getting with Daniel Craig, of course. Who wouldn't?

    But yeah, the deadliness of the aliens shifted dramatically from scene to scene. One minute the humans are being mowed down like cattle and the next the aliens seem unable to even take down Harrison Ford who is both a bajillion years old and a sitting duck as he mourns the loss of that Indian kid he kind of seemed to hate
    Counterargument: All the Nazis, commies, aliens, robots and terrorists ever haven't been able to do that. Why should these guys manage?

  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    Smart Hero wrote:
    Battlefield LA was boring. Fell asleep boring.

    decent shooting, explosions, and that's about it

    everything else about that movie was completely forgettable

    like right now I could not tell you 1 person that was in that movie other than the rodriguez girl, and I only remember her because every time she was on screen i was like I HATE THIS CHICK I HATE THIS CHICK I HATE THIS CHICK I HATE THIS CHICK I HATE THIS CHICK I HATE THIS CHICK

    was ziggy in it? from the wire? I kinda want to think he was, but maybe I'm remembering generation kill

    ooh was the other guy from generation kill in this? I dunno because everyone was wearing fucking fatigues and there were like 30 dudes all running around at once, who the fuck knows who was who

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  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    Was it Skyline or Battlefield LA that ends just as it starts getting interesting?

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  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Rane, Aaron Eckhart was in it

    You know, Harvey Dent

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  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    was he?

    and it was skyline that ended just as it should have started GOING

    skyline was also terrible

    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    He was like the main Marine

    The square-jawed blonde one

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  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    I know what he looks like n all

    but seriously that movie was so goddamn forgettable, I seriously can't remember him being in it

    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • UmaroUmaro Registered User regular
    Battle LA was boring boring boring, I slept through the last half an hour. The other day I overheard somebody saying it was their 'favorite alien movie ever' and that almost ruined my day.

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  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    umaro I think we agree on a lot of stuff

    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    currently, my favourite alien movies are either Paul or Aliens.

  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    Melding wrote:
    currently, my favourite alien movies are either Paul or Aliens.

    Your favorite is Aliens.

    This is nerd law.

  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    i liked paul a lot

    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Paul was so fucking charming. I thought it was just going to be a stoner flick, and then it was actually amusing. and had a good time.

  • existexist Registered User regular
    i thought paul was mostly not very good and i was disappointed especially as it was written by pegg n' frost

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  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    We're very different people exist.

  • iammattpleeveeiammattpleevee Registered User regular
    I can proudly say that there is no movie in history that I have watched that has been so boring it has put me to sleep.

    Did you see clash of the titans. I watched that in theaters. It was either leave or fall asleep.
    Also, Gus Van Sant's Last Days. So boring.


    This movie looks boring. I dislike Daniel Craig for some reason. Olivia Wilde is attractive though.

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  • existexist Registered User regular
    i fell asleep during pirates of the caribbean 3

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  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    I can proudly say that there is no movie in history that I have watched that has been so boring it has put me to sleep.

    Did you see clash of the titans. I watched that in theaters. It was either leave or fall asleep.
    Also, Gus Van Sant's Last Days. So boring.


    This movie looks boring. I dislike Daniel Craig for some reason. Olivia Wilde is attractive though.

    speaking of clash of the titans, has anyone seen the trailer for that immortals movie? It came on before captain america for me, and that shit looks incomprehensible. And not in a good way.

  • Romanian My EscutcheonRomanian My Escutcheon Two of Forks Registered User regular
    The Immortals is going to suck.

    There's really no question about it.

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  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular



    what is even going on in this trailer

  • Romanian My EscutcheonRomanian My Escutcheon Two of Forks Registered User regular
    Bullshit.

    No, wait.

    Shiny bullshit.

    2cf4m6f.gif
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Looks like 300 Part 2: 300 Harder

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