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My new roommate is a toilet paper fiend [UPDATE] He's bulimic!
ChopperDave
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
There's quite the backstory behind my current apartment situation, but long story short: I was planning on rooming with a college friend, he screwed me over last minute, I found myself signing a lease with a couple other university grad students sight unseen. Not the best of ideas, but I was pretty low on options at that point -- I had to live somewhere.
One of these roommates arrived a few days ago. He seemed like a nice enough guy when my girlfriend and I were interviewing him on the phone/Skype, but it's quickly becoming apparent to us that this guy is... really OCD.
He goes through literally a roll of toilet paper a day, possibly more. Most of it ends up in the trash can -- unsoiled, at least to my naked eye -- though he's doubtlessly flushing a fair amount down the toilet just so we don't see it. We have NO IDEA what he's doing in there... I mean, even if he was lining the seat with the stuff every time he went to the bathroom he wouldn't be using THAT much.
He also goes through, again literally, a roll of paper towels a day. Again, we have no idea what he's doing with them... we just have a trash can full of barely used paper towels at the end of the day.
When I initially asked him about the excessive toilet paper use, he told me "something got wet" and he was using the paper to towel it up. This was clearly a lie, as he's continued to barrel through our supply, except now he's half-assedly trying to hide it by flushing half of it down the toilet.
I'm probably going to tell him that he needs to get his own damn paper cleaning supplies, because whatever arcane rituals he's performing while I'm away is clearly going to be too expensive for me to pay for. But I'm also really worried about the trash and the pipes... if he continues to abuse the paper supply at his current rates, I imagine we're going to rack up some serious plumber and trash collection fees in very short order.
What the hell do I do about this guy?!
One of these roommates arrived a few days ago. He seemed like a nice enough guy when my girlfriend and I were interviewing him on the phone/Skype, but it's quickly becoming apparent to us that this guy is... really OCD.
He goes through literally a roll of toilet paper a day, possibly more. Most of it ends up in the trash can -- unsoiled, at least to my naked eye -- though he's doubtlessly flushing a fair amount down the toilet just so we don't see it. We have NO IDEA what he's doing in there... I mean, even if he was lining the seat with the stuff every time he went to the bathroom he wouldn't be using THAT much.
He also goes through, again literally, a roll of paper towels a day. Again, we have no idea what he's doing with them... we just have a trash can full of barely used paper towels at the end of the day.
When I initially asked him about the excessive toilet paper use, he told me "something got wet" and he was using the paper to towel it up. This was clearly a lie, as he's continued to barrel through our supply, except now he's half-assedly trying to hide it by flushing half of it down the toilet.
I'm probably going to tell him that he needs to get his own damn paper cleaning supplies, because whatever arcane rituals he's performing while I'm away is clearly going to be too expensive for me to pay for. But I'm also really worried about the trash and the pipes... if he continues to abuse the paper supply at his current rates, I imagine we're going to rack up some serious plumber and trash collection fees in very short order.
What the hell do I do about this guy?!
3DS code: 3007-8077-4055
ChopperDave on
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If it is feasible to kick him out, just tell him that it ends or he's gone unless he can put up a deposit to use for the plumber who is going to curse you up and down for flushing a roll of paper towels.
Might be a little extreme for the second conversation with someone who just uses a TON of toilet paper.
Also, you probably don't worry about the pipes. If this guy has a weird paper compulsion, he probably knows that flushing too much can fuck the pipes (which is probably why he throws most of it away instead of flushing it).
https://twitter.com/Hooraydiation
There should not have been a second conversation. He is doing a weird thing that has consequences for everyone, and he won't explain it. He hides it, which only exacerbates the potential consequences.
Specific behavior aside, this is not a personality I would care to room with and would prefer to make that crystal clear from the beginning.
PSN Hypacia
Xbox HypaciaMinnow
Discord Hypacia#0391
In reply to the lying comment: It may not be that big of an issue. Maybe the guy does have a mild OCD. He doesn't really have to disclose that to everyone if he doesn't want to, maybe he's embarrassed so he's evasive about it. Don't be confrontational or call the guy out, just try to have a convo about the costs and what needs to be done.
PSN Hypacia
Xbox HypaciaMinnow
Discord Hypacia#0391
"You use over a roll of paper per day.
I don't care about WHY you use it, you use it.
1. You will buy your own supplies to support this habit. Do not touch others or the public supply.
2. You will not flush anything other than bodily wastes and toilet paper down the toilet. Paper towels can and will damage plumbing over time - I don't care about your opinion on this.
If you feel this is unfair, you may end your stay with us and secure alternative housing. I will deliver your eviction notice at the end of the month, in writing, to notify you of your remaining 30 days. If you decide to try and skip out on the lasts months rent, a second notice will delivered 48 hours after the rent due date that will lower your remaining time to 1 week.
After that, all your things will be moved out of the house and the locks changed - if neccesary, the police can serve the eviction and monitor your exit.
He isn't the landlord, he signed a lease. He doesn't have the authority to deliver eviction notices.
Is it really possible for me to actually threaten to evict the guy? I'm not the landlord here; we're both on the lease. This isn't really a problem I've dealt with before, so I don't really know my rights. All the same, that seems pretty extreme a response this early in the game... maybe if it continues, he keeps lying about it, and other weird compulsions get revealed I'll go down that road.
EDIT: And really, this doesn't qualify as a real "problem" by any means in the wide world of roommates. This is pretty tame.
Just keep it in your room and take it with you when you need it.
Good call, there.
But also, WTF?
Converse and work out or come to some sort of agreement. I understand how such a thing can be crazy and irritable.
Agreed, or rotate supply-purchasing with him so it's not always one person buying, when it's not usually them using all the supplies
Or, if it's a dealbreaker, make him responsible for TP consumption. "You use a lot of TP, so we want you to manage and buy it", isn't a terrible way to go about the process.
Whatever the fuck he's doing with all that paper, just make sure he understands that this a concern, and you would prefer that he just throw it away if it isn't covered in bodily fluids.
I wouldn't worry about the trash bill. An extra bag of paper towels shouldn't trouble the collection service. It won't weigh anything, and will compact easily.
I only kept him around cos he made awesome soup and was terrible with his money. One time, I traded him a pack of smoke and half a carton of beer for Dr. Burgess' Marine Fish Encyclopaedia, which was worth a couple of hundred bucks at the time. He even let me drink half the beers.
So yeah, I guess I'm saying "look for the good with the bad". Surely there's some way you can profit from this situation. Maybe he has other weird traits you can take advantage of.
And hey, nothing says you can't take the TP out of the trash and reuse it. Just sayin.
yeah no don't do that.
Bring it up again, saying essentially what was outlined above: "dude, I don't care why you do it, but one roll of toilet paper lasts me about a month. You went through a whole roll in a day. Whatever the reason, that's your business, but you need to be buying your own if you go through so much of it. Same goes for paper towels. I don't mean to be a dick but I don't want to end up stranded on the toilet one day."
If that still doesn't work, just keep your own TP and take it with you when you go to the bathroom.
My last roommates didn't even bother buying their own TP. And then I discovered why the paper towels were in the bathroom. And then I discovered when THAT ran out...
Seriously, as long as he buys his own supplies and disposes of them properly, you're in a good situation.
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
One roll a month? Wow.
I suppose that with the right diet and a quality paper, one roll a month may be possible.
Also, if you're a "shower wiper".
Plus I'm a folder, not a buncher.
Do it one on one, if it's a house meeting he will most likely get embarrassed and deny everything.
Do it as low key as possible. Make it clear that you do not care what he is doing while he is in there because you shouldn't.
Once you do that just tell him that it is probably fair if he just buys his own toilet paper and leave it at that.
Satans..... hints.....
Simple. Clean. Effective.
Be understanding of his situation (if it is OCD) and give him a chance.
Steam: FallenDestiny *** XBL: xDestinyx3
Of course, this idea can get really awful when you inevitably are on the toilet, halfway through your "business", when you realize you left your roll in your bedroom...
And I don't get all of this nonsense about threatening to evict the guy. Even if the OP could do such a thing, I feel like this is a problem with a rather easy, logical solution. There is never a need to jump the gun with roommate dynamics.
Let's Plays of Japanese Games
The Good News: we "resolved" the toilet paper situation. The three of us normal people bring the toilet paper in and out of the bathroom, and he buys his own now. We have to be careful not to accidentally leave our rolls in there though lest he demolish them like the inconsiderate asshole he is...
The Bad News: he has revealed himself as a genuinely terrible roommate and awful person on soooo many other levels, holy hell. But I won't turn this into a pity party.
The Ugly News: we're 99% sure he's bulimic.
Looking back, the signs have been pretty obvious. We already knew he had severe body issues and health problems. He's on his own special ketogenic diet which as far as I can tell is of his own creation; it basically involves him eating hamburger meat, bacon, fried chicken, and cheese and drinking water, diet soda, diet beer, and diet Red Bull only. If it weren't for the multivitamins he takes he would almost certainly have scurvy, as he eats no vegetables, fruits, or healthy grains ever. Once or twice a week he will allow himself a "cheating" day, whereupon a typical dinner menu is 3-4 cinnamon rolls with a red bull. You don't want to leave a box of cookies out in the open on his bing-I-mean-"cheating" days, as he will destroy them all by himself. (Side note: this diet makes him smell like a sweaty asshole that just got wiped with bacon, goddamn.)
As far as we can tell he purges around twice a day. The ritual involves him going the bathroom for a few minutes, running the tub/sink, and throwing up into a big wad of toilet paper to muffle the sound and remove the tell-tale "kerplunk" of vomit hitting porcelain. We're not sure if he's doing it over the toilet or over the sink. For the first few months I think he tried to disguise the noises he made -- it sounded like he was gargling mouthwash (which he, as is typical for him, stole from my girlfriend til she took it away) and then hocking a massive loogie. Lately though he's gotten either more brazen or we've gotten more savvy, as it's starting to sound a lot more like retching.
So, uh, what should I do?
This is going to sound callous, but I don't give a damn about this guy. He's an inconsiderate, lying little prick and he can ravage his body and give himself a heart attack if he wants to. I'm really not in the mood to organize an intervention and pretend like I give two shits about his mental or physical health. Besides, he's not friends with me or any of the other people living here, so it's not like he'd listen to us anyway. If we confronted him, he'd probably just lie and try to hide it better, like he's done when we've confronted him about other bad habits of his in the past.
My concern is more about the health of me and the other two roommates. Also, we have some friends and family who have vomit phobias, and they're not going to be comfortable hanging out or staying the night here if they catch wind of what's going on. This guy is regularly leaving a biohazard in the toilet, sink, or maybe even the bathtub. Should I be doing anything to avoid or sanitize the area, aside from wearing shower shoes?
Unfortunately, just kicking him out still isn't an option, as he's still on the lease until July. I'm not even sure if it's worth it to let him know that he isn't fooling us, because that would probably just lead him to do even weirder, grosser, and potentially more hazardous things to disguise it. Maybe I should tip off the student health center at his school or something?
I think you should probably at least TRY to get the man some help. Sounds like he's got some serious issues. Perhaps talk to his friends, or if he has none, try to get in touch with his parents?
I don't think being a prick or ignoring him well end well for you.