I had limits on my gaming and television time when I was a child. I turned out pretty well-adjusted, I think, and I certainly don't resent my parents for it.
But that's just me.
WATCH THIS SPACE.
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HenroidMexican kicked from Immigration ThreadCentrism is Racism :3Registered Userregular
EDIT: I also called them the BEARenstain Bears for goddamn ever.
What do you...
...
Holy fuck. I've been living a lie.
I know.
... I'm not seeing it.
I think he meant BEARstein bears, which made sense because they are BEARS which is what I used to think, but it's really BERENstein, which I simply refused to accept for the longest time.
Also, re: chores. It's very important to teach your kids to do things they don't like/aren't really interested in. It builds character and they are going to spend a large chunk of their life doing things they don't really like to do. Also, it teaches them to try new things - which is key in broadening their horizons. I doubt there are very many parents out there that use their children as mini butlers as you suggest. Oftentimes you end up secretly re-doing the things your kids do anyway.
Ain't that the truth. I have actually tried to explain that to my older boy before, how it's really important to get used to doing things you may not like to do. I have a book about raising gifted kids (I was one and my kids are too) and it mentioned, now I don't remember exactly how she put it, that they need to get used to working hard to achieve things and having that positive feeling of their hard work paying off. For gifted kids it can be a problem because maybe they don't have to work so hard when they're young to do well, and so when work gets harder as they get older or get into college they don't know how to work hard.
Honestly I was a little shocked by everyone's protective attitude about internet and video game time (though I suppose I shouldn't be), but it made me do a lot of thinking last night about what kinds of things I'd like my kids to be doing with their time, and the ways I encourage them to do those things, and why. I should say, being here makes it pretty obvious, but I am a gamer. I've always been a gamer. I was the oldest in my family of five kids and remember when I was about kindergarten aged I got an NES for Christmas (I think it was Christmas and not my birthday, long time ago now) complete with a zapper and R.O.B. the Robot and I've been gaming in one form or another since. I like that my kids like video games and other games (they love reading our D&D books and playing munchkin and Castle Ravenloft too) but I know I want them to have a variety of experiences. We can't all be game designers when we grow up or may not even want to be, and I want them to be exposed to all kinds of things in case they find they love them. If I have to kick them off the computer they've been on for hours (yes, hours) to do that, so be it.
So, do I love gaming? Yes. Do I spend tons of time on the internet? Absolutely. But do I, deep down, feel that these are constructive uses of my time? I would have to say (with qualifications) no. They are constructive mostly in the ways that any leisure activity that makes you happy would be: a relaxing diversion, a way to de-stress, to engage your mind on something else. That's not to say I can't see the value for kids in some ways. In fact when my son told me the other day that when he's having fun he doesn't want to use his brain (as his argument for not reading) I explained to him he does in fact use his brain while he's having fun and one of my examples was playing minecraft, which they both love. But if there was a big hierarchy of things people might think are fun to do based on how enriching they are, video games and pissing around on the internet would not be high on the list.
Honestly, I've known some really smart people. I've known some people who have achieved a lot in their lives so far. And it seems to me that people who do well in life have some complicated hobbies or projects that they like to do in their spare time that involve a lot of brainwork. When I was in high school my boyfriend and his friends (one of whom is a PhD in Biophysics and works at UC Berkeley now) got it in their heads that they were going to build a trebuchet big enough to fling a watermelon. They designed it and figured out the math for the trajectories and bought the materials and cut the lumber and they built the damn thing. And this was in around 1995, so while I'm sure they could have found help for this project in a magazine or at the library it's not like they just did a google search and copied some plans or something. Or kids who like flying kites so they figure out how kites fly so they can build their own, or who like gardening and so learn about things like soil composition and pH so they can grow better plants. You can do that with a video game interest, I know, you can design games and levels and draw art for games or learning how to program (and I did also know people when I was younger who taught themselves programming languages and wrote code for fun) and things like that, which are also awesome pursuits, but how many of us ACTUALLY do that or did that as kids? How many just play games? There's no problem with liking to play games and not liking to make them, especially since we're not all going to work in that industry when we grow up. I am sure my own insecurities have a lot of play here (I kick myself all the time asking why I'm not reading one of the many non-fiction books in my own academic interest - history - that I've said I'd like to read instead of just spending another hour of my free time doing something useless like reading TV Tropes) but it's one of those fond wishes of mine that my kids would learn to love some kind of hobby or pursuit and get all in depth like that and learn a bunch of interesting things while doing something they think is fun.
That's why I never say anything about my son taking all the old electronics he finds in the house and keeping it in his room with the stated goal of building a robot, even though it's basically a box of trash. That's why I'm going to buy this kid's breadboard and project book I found for him for Christmas. I keep hoping he'll do more with his stuff than look at it and fiddle with it occasionally, like maybe try to look up how one would build a robot (or ask for a book about it). That's why I want them to get off the computer sometimes, because games are fun but they shouldn't be all you do, and there aren't that many hours in the day.
But I have taken this to heart. I don't know if I've ever told them they had to get off the computer to "go do something constructive" or "useful" but I will not do that in the future.
Posts
Oh good now a whole new generation can grow up fucking the English language in the ear, just what we all needed.
(worst totp ever)
But that's just me.
... I'm not seeing it.
I think he meant BEARstein bears, which made sense because they are BEARS which is what I used to think, but it's really BERENstein, which I simply refused to accept for the longest time.
Ain't that the truth. I have actually tried to explain that to my older boy before, how it's really important to get used to doing things you may not like to do. I have a book about raising gifted kids (I was one and my kids are too) and it mentioned, now I don't remember exactly how she put it, that they need to get used to working hard to achieve things and having that positive feeling of their hard work paying off. For gifted kids it can be a problem because maybe they don't have to work so hard when they're young to do well, and so when work gets harder as they get older or get into college they don't know how to work hard.
Honestly I was a little shocked by everyone's protective attitude about internet and video game time (though I suppose I shouldn't be), but it made me do a lot of thinking last night about what kinds of things I'd like my kids to be doing with their time, and the ways I encourage them to do those things, and why. I should say, being here makes it pretty obvious, but I am a gamer. I've always been a gamer. I was the oldest in my family of five kids and remember when I was about kindergarten aged I got an NES for Christmas (I think it was Christmas and not my birthday, long time ago now) complete with a zapper and R.O.B. the Robot and I've been gaming in one form or another since. I like that my kids like video games and other games (they love reading our D&D books and playing munchkin and Castle Ravenloft too) but I know I want them to have a variety of experiences. We can't all be game designers when we grow up or may not even want to be, and I want them to be exposed to all kinds of things in case they find they love them. If I have to kick them off the computer they've been on for hours (yes, hours) to do that, so be it.
So, do I love gaming? Yes. Do I spend tons of time on the internet? Absolutely. But do I, deep down, feel that these are constructive uses of my time? I would have to say (with qualifications) no. They are constructive mostly in the ways that any leisure activity that makes you happy would be: a relaxing diversion, a way to de-stress, to engage your mind on something else. That's not to say I can't see the value for kids in some ways. In fact when my son told me the other day that when he's having fun he doesn't want to use his brain (as his argument for not reading) I explained to him he does in fact use his brain while he's having fun and one of my examples was playing minecraft, which they both love. But if there was a big hierarchy of things people might think are fun to do based on how enriching they are, video games and pissing around on the internet would not be high on the list.
Honestly, I've known some really smart people. I've known some people who have achieved a lot in their lives so far. And it seems to me that people who do well in life have some complicated hobbies or projects that they like to do in their spare time that involve a lot of brainwork. When I was in high school my boyfriend and his friends (one of whom is a PhD in Biophysics and works at UC Berkeley now) got it in their heads that they were going to build a trebuchet big enough to fling a watermelon. They designed it and figured out the math for the trajectories and bought the materials and cut the lumber and they built the damn thing. And this was in around 1995, so while I'm sure they could have found help for this project in a magazine or at the library it's not like they just did a google search and copied some plans or something. Or kids who like flying kites so they figure out how kites fly so they can build their own, or who like gardening and so learn about things like soil composition and pH so they can grow better plants. You can do that with a video game interest, I know, you can design games and levels and draw art for games or learning how to program (and I did also know people when I was younger who taught themselves programming languages and wrote code for fun) and things like that, which are also awesome pursuits, but how many of us ACTUALLY do that or did that as kids? How many just play games? There's no problem with liking to play games and not liking to make them, especially since we're not all going to work in that industry when we grow up. I am sure my own insecurities have a lot of play here (I kick myself all the time asking why I'm not reading one of the many non-fiction books in my own academic interest - history - that I've said I'd like to read instead of just spending another hour of my free time doing something useless like reading TV Tropes) but it's one of those fond wishes of mine that my kids would learn to love some kind of hobby or pursuit and get all in depth like that and learn a bunch of interesting things while doing something they think is fun.
That's why I never say anything about my son taking all the old electronics he finds in the house and keeping it in his room with the stated goal of building a robot, even though it's basically a box of trash. That's why I'm going to buy this kid's breadboard and project book I found for him for Christmas. I keep hoping he'll do more with his stuff than look at it and fiddle with it occasionally, like maybe try to look up how one would build a robot (or ask for a book about it). That's why I want them to get off the computer sometimes, because games are fun but they shouldn't be all you do, and there aren't that many hours in the day.
But I have taken this to heart. I don't know if I've ever told them they had to get off the computer to "go do something constructive" or "useful" but I will not do that in the future.
Wii: 4521 1146 5179 1333 Pearl: 3394 4642 8367 HG: 1849 3913 3132