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pregnant fiance?
spacerobot
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hi everyone, you might remember me from such threads as "my fiance's parents hate me" and "my fiance is suicidal". Well, this week we have a different crisis.
My fiance thinks she is pregnant, and she says she has taken 2 tests and they both turned up positive. Here is the thing... we have only had sex once, I wore a condom, and I did not ejaculate. While we were having sex, she ejaculated and it was white and outside of the condom, and I started freaking out because I thought it possibly could be me (which was dumb of me to think since I did not have an orgasm) We stopped having sex after that.
The next day she went back to Japan (and has been there since). about 15 days later she tells me she thinks she's pregnant, but then immediately tells me she is just kidding and she actually had her period. about a month later (early February) I am informed she has had another period... so I figure there is nothing to worry about.
Today I get an email from her saying she has something to tell me that is important, but she will tell me after I finish finals because she doesn't want me to freak out. I jokingly ask her if she was pregnant... it turns out she thinks she is.
At this point I don't know what to do. We had sex that one time (which turned out to be her most "dangerous" time of the month to have sex). I did not ejaculate, and I used a condom that did not break. In addition, she has always told me that the women in her family have had trouble conceiving and have had to go see a doctor to have a child.
she has been under a lot of stress lately, which is about the visa if have kept up with my other threads, so I thought that is maybe why she missed her period (but 2 months in a row?) Then she tells me she took 2 tests, and they both said she was pregnant.
She has told me that I do not have to have any involvement in the childs life, and she does not want me to be a father to the child if I do not love her (She has been acting crazy lately, and I have been thinking about breaking up)
I do want involvement in the childs life (if it is my child) and I do want to take responsiblity for what has happened.
So I guess I don't really know what to do right now. I'm sure my parents will flip out when I tell them, but i'm not so worried about that.
My question is, what should I do now? How is it possible she got pregnant under those circumstances? and I'm lost. help.
thanks
My fiance thinks she is pregnant, and she says she has taken 2 tests and they both turned up positive. Here is the thing... we have only had sex once, I wore a condom, and I did not ejaculate. While we were having sex, she ejaculated and it was white and outside of the condom, and I started freaking out because I thought it possibly could be me (which was dumb of me to think since I did not have an orgasm) We stopped having sex after that.
The next day she went back to Japan (and has been there since). about 15 days later she tells me she thinks she's pregnant, but then immediately tells me she is just kidding and she actually had her period. about a month later (early February) I am informed she has had another period... so I figure there is nothing to worry about.
Today I get an email from her saying she has something to tell me that is important, but she will tell me after I finish finals because she doesn't want me to freak out. I jokingly ask her if she was pregnant... it turns out she thinks she is.
At this point I don't know what to do. We had sex that one time (which turned out to be her most "dangerous" time of the month to have sex). I did not ejaculate, and I used a condom that did not break. In addition, she has always told me that the women in her family have had trouble conceiving and have had to go see a doctor to have a child.
she has been under a lot of stress lately, which is about the visa if have kept up with my other threads, so I thought that is maybe why she missed her period (but 2 months in a row?) Then she tells me she took 2 tests, and they both said she was pregnant.
She has told me that I do not have to have any involvement in the childs life, and she does not want me to be a father to the child if I do not love her (She has been acting crazy lately, and I have been thinking about breaking up)
I do want involvement in the childs life (if it is my child) and I do want to take responsiblity for what has happened.
So I guess I don't really know what to do right now. I'm sure my parents will flip out when I tell them, but i'm not so worried about that.
My question is, what should I do now? How is it possible she got pregnant under those circumstances? and I'm lost. help.
thanks
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Something's fishy!
It is incredibly unlikely. She is almost certainly either yanking your chain just to see how you will react (crazy alarms should be going off), or it is not your child. Unless she did something else really crazy like salvage a used condom of yours, I don't see how she could have become pregnant from what you described.
Sounds like she's more trouble than she's worth, and breaking up might be a good idea - though you know the whole story far better than I.
This is the same girl who was threatening to kill herself if you didn't get her a visa, right?
Well...
I don't mean to sound hopelessly cynical here, but you have to consider the possibility that this is a phantom pregnancy. This may be phase 3 of the "guilt-trip the fiance into getting me a visa" plan. From what I recall of your previous thread, this girl seems to be almost wholly untrustworthy (I'm sorry to be so harsh, but that's my impression).
You cannot take her word for this, I'm afraid. That said, I'm not sure what constructive advice to give you. You should get her to see a doctor and get medically tested -- and if possible you should arrange to get the doctor/clinic to send you verification of the results, independent of her.
She has lied to me in the past about things, so it's possible she lying to me now... but I don't know.
I should probably add that we had sex on December 27th, since it has been a month and a half since then, I guess this would be the time she's starting to notice.
We were going to get married, but because of recent events (before I found out about the pregnancy) Things have gotten bad, she has "broken up" with me several times (and wanted to be back with me every time) become suicidal, and other wierd things. I think she does have some issues... and I have been weary about wanting to marry her in hte past week (but I have not told her that).
We were planning on getting married and having children after a few years.
You really need to break it off with this chick. She thinks she is pregnant? Wow, if I was a girl, i wonder what I would tell a guy if I thought he was gonna ditch me and I was crazy...
she also wrote a journal for me our first month apart, and at one point she even mentioned having her period... in fact, one point last month she even told me she really wanted to make out, since she just finished her period and she always feels that way after it.
The more I think about it, the fishier this seems.
I still don't know what to do though, what if she is [edit] not bluffing?
and yes, I have been a tool. I need to end this. Even if she's really is pregnant, i guess I should end it. but woudl that be the responsible thing to do?
SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE IIIIIIIIISSSSSSS LLLLLLLYYYYYYYIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG TTTTTOOOOOOO YYYYYYYOOOOOUUUUUU
If she is pregnant it is because she slept with somebody else. You have absolutely no responsability towards her or the probably non-existent child.
I have completely thought of that as a possiblity. When she returned to Japan, it was the big New Years celebration. Her parents invited her ex-boyfriend... apparently he slept in the same room as her (maybe even the same bed?). I was obviosuly not happy about that... but her parents set it up. I was willing to forgive her. I suppose it is possible that they were so happy to see each other after having been apart for a year that they had sex...
I actually (stupidly) asked my fiance (so i'm the only one that has had sex with you, right?)
She didn't respond with "yes or no" but that she was hurt that I asked that question... perhaps that is another red flag.
The more I write this out, the more I realize how fucked of of a relationship/situation I am in, and how I need to break it off.
edit: Is it possible to get a test done to see if I'm the father before the child is born?
CAN WE GET A MOD TO CHANGE YOUR NAME TO POWER DRILL PLEASE?
this girl is so not pregnant, that she is actually a man.
what can I do to prove this? She is all the way in Japan.
omg hahah this has to be a joke. no way you are this gulible... man just... wow... wow.
lmao of course she had sex with him wtf. And she isn't pregnant and no u can't get a test for her none baby.
I'm not sure, but if you can't trust her to tell you whether or not she's had sex with somebody else there's another huge red flag.
It doesn't seem like you could have anything remotely resembling a happy life with this girl, and the sooner you break it off the sooner you can start looking for somebody who will make you happy instead of constantly fucking with your head.
lol dude why do u need to prove this? you dont. just fucking tell her to go fuck herself and be done with it. thats all you have to do. SHE ISNT PREGNANT ALL GIRLS ARE LYING WHORES.
Hey, I got a question: What's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off? I'll give you a hint: It's LYING
You have NO responsibilities, there is ZEEEEERO chance that you got her pregnant. Break it off, and break it off quick. There are pleeenty of women out there, time to dip your rod into the fish pond.
perhaps asking her to get a test at a doctors office, and having the doctor send me the results directly.
1. Get a kid's book on pregnancy
2. Realize you can't be pregnant after having a period
3. ???
4. Profit
yes. I know that you cannot be pregnant after you have a period.
I know that I should not trust her any more (and I do not) But she claimed to be lying about her period.
Man, I am such a gullible tool.
I'm going to put it this way: When there is a woman you truly love, and you were going to marry her, you don't want to admit that she is lying to you.
I guess I do have to admit it... but it's gonna be difficult.
Your sig makes this thread really funny.
Anyway.
She was either lying then or she's lying now. You pick.
ok you want to solve all your troubles? heres what you do:
Go to the Wal-Mart down the street. Go in there and talk to the most bucktoothed white trash fat woman you can find in the sporting goods department. Ask her to reccoment the the highest gauge shotgun they carry.
THEN TAKE IT HOME AND PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH AND PULL THE TRIGGER.
Granted, we now have a member of our family we hate (it's fucked up even if she was a huge bitch), but he said he feels like a huge weight is off his shoulders, and I've never seen him happier partying it up at school.
tl;dr - I know it sucks now, but give it a few weeks, and you'll love not having to deal with her shit.
You need to fucking dump this girl and get with someone domestic. Also, you sig is so funny because you are OBVIOUSLY one gullable son of a bitch.
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I find it far, far more likely that she is in fact not pregnant and is lying about it to manipulate him.
Still, I bet she let her old boyfriend up in her raw dog style. Unless she was being safe, then he just rammed her in the dumper.
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If she is pregnant (which I really, really doubt), statistically, it's not yours. She can fuck right the hell off until she submits the kid to a paternity test.