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Phallaclave: This Thread be Broked. Find and use Other One

lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me AhavaMove to New ZealandRegistered User regular
edited October 2011 in Critical Failures
huge props to mrblarney for the image
Welcome to Rome. It is currently the Fifteen hundred and twenty-second year of our Lord. And while it is glad to see your faces, my friends, it is indeed the sad tidings that have brought you here that we must discuss.

The Pope, our Holy Father and Shepherd of us all, is dead. And you, the College of Cardinals have been summoned to this blessed place, upon the bones of St. Peter himself, to choose the next Vicar of Christ.

This is the first time that such a Curia has been assembled, but with the world on the brink of what is sure to be history changing events, there could be no doubt in the minds of the Faithful, that the next Pope had the support of all his children.

We shall be adjourning into conclave shortly, my brothers. But i do wish to warn you of the rumors that have reached us here in Rome. Of heresies far and wide, of those leaving the fold of the Church to reform the world too far for us to allow. Now I have all the faith in the world that none of you have fallen prey to these depraved thoughts and outlandish scandals. But, one can never be too careful when it comes to the Antichrist. Or Lutherans.

Please, my brothers, rest yourselves, read of this pamphlet, it will give you the details of what to expect once inside the conclave. Change from your riding gear, wash your hands and feet and faces, and then when you have all assembled, we will begin.

Welcome to Phallaclave: Quest for the Papacy! This is a phalli, the forums version of the popular party game, Mafia. If you do not know what a Phalla is, please go to this page and read up on the rules.

General Housekeeping:
All standard Phalla rules apply.
-No anonymous contact
-No screenshots of PMs
-No direct quoting of PMs from the host
-Dead stay Dead, if you are dead, do not speak to the living about the game
-Don’t be a dick goose
-Any and all proboards that are made in the process of this game require the host be invited and accepted to them.

New Rules for this game:
There are two votes! The Red vote is to remove a person from play whom the players suspect of being a secret Lutheran. The top two vote winners are removed.
The Mediumorchid Vote is to elect a Pope. As with the real world, this requires achieving a 2/3 majority of the vote.

Well that should be easy, right? I mean the secondary vote almost always gets close to unanimous! But hold it! There’s more to this than what you can see. The College of the Cardinals is made up of representatives from the Five most powerful countries of this time. Or regions, would be more accurate. Each of you will belong to a country off of the following list:

Having the Pope from your home country is not only a honor, but in some cases an outright necessary benefit. It is, indeed, your goal to see that the pope is elected from your home country. Or at the very least, not the home country of an enemy.

You will not know the members of your home country. Yes, you share a common tongue, but this is Rome, the Vatican. Everybody speaks Latin. And you are Cardinals pulled from different areas of the country, you may know of each other by reputation but not by face. Finding your brethren will be imperative to succeeding in your goals. But be wary, it could be possible that some of your companions harbour secret Lutheran feelings, or are members of the Papal Household.
The alliance circlet is as follows:

Germany<--> Spain<-->Italy<-->France<-->England<-->Germany

Example: A cardinal from Italy can work with a cardinal from Spain or France, but would be hardpressed to help out a Cardinal from England or Germany.

Seeing as there is a need for alliances, or at least for some degree of concession between ‘friends’, it is not advised that you advertise yourself overmuch during conclave. After all, being the Leader of the Holy Church is a bit of a big deal, and you don’t really want to be the reason your country loses the pointiest of hats.

How is Victory achieved?
A good question! A better question will be “when do you let us out of this conclave so we can eat something other than bread and wine?” Well, that is also a very good question.

The conclave ends when a Pope is elected with 2/3 majority of the mediumorchid vote. Who that ends up being will determine the outcome of the conclave. Should you be foolish enough to elect a reformer, then the Lutherans will win the game, and the history of the world forever rewritten. However, if you elect one of your own, then peace will continue, and the Church can move on as she has ever done, fighting Heresy and giving the blessings of the life ever after.

Vote Close:
Vote close is at 7pm New Zealand time. What does that mean?
2am East Coast US. 11pm West Coast US. 6am GMT.

Order of Actions:
Everything --> Vote


Q: So.... the game could easily end the first day...? Interesting

A: It is entirely possible that yes, this could happen, in most cases.

Q: Do the mafia have faction country affiliations?

A: Everybody has a country affiliation.

Q: Does vote trickle?

A: Maybe...maybe not...

Q: How are ties resolved?

A: Do you really want to find out the answer to that question?

Q: Millers/thralls/vig/vlad?

A: Please, don't be a fool. I'm not evil.

Q: Is the papel vote part of the daily activity requirement?

A: No.


Q: Is there an appropriate color for retracting papel votes?

A: Eh, just go with it. Just make sure it's visible to me. Even if you just bold it.

lonelyahava on


  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Player List

    1. egos
    2. Retaba
    4. Bedlam
    6. Romanqwerty
    8. corvidae
    9. Alegis
    10. Phyphor
    11. The_Anonymous
    12. slym
    13. Cythraul
    14. Matev
    16. jdarksun
    17. Taya
    18. kuhlmeye
    19. Sir Fabulous
    20. Zandracon
    21. Mr Blarney
    22. Capfalcon
    23. facetious
    25. Void slayer
    26. Flarne Wildcat
    27. Wiet
    28. That Dave Fella
    29. piL
    30. kime
    31. MrTlicious
    32. Aphostile
    33. LoserforhireX
    34. Teucrian
    36. Melding
    37. daius
    38. 38th Doe
    39. Virgil Leads You
    40. SeGaTai

    The Dead

    Day One
    Spoit-German Cardinal
    Cayrus-German Archivist
    vagrant_winds-German Cardinal
    stever777-Papal Archivist
    Gumpy-French Cardinal

    1. warban

    Sample Role PM:
    You are:

    A Cardinal of the Curia. You have been summoned to Rome to partake in the conclave that will choose the next Holy Father of the Catholic Church. You have arrived in Rome and are settling in for the long period that this might take. There are representatives here from all of the great nations in Western Christendom. England, France, Germany, Spain, Italy. All of these cardinals want one of their own to be pope, as do you. But the rules of the Curia are steadfast. A majority vote is the only way to secure the pointiest of hats. There is a strong chance you will not achieve your goal of being pope. But, perhaps you can forestall an enemy from achieving the Crown of St Peter. But beware. You have heard rumors of secret Lutherans. Cardinals who have given themselves over to the reformers, who wish to bring the Church down. A vote for a Lutheran would be, devastating.

    Ability: You can vote each day for a fellow cardinal that you believe to be a Lutheran.
    Each day, you can vote for a fellow cardinal that you would like to see become Pope.
    Home Country:
    Ally Countries:


    Day 0: Death of a Pope

    lonelyahava on
  • EgosEgos Registered User regular

  • InfidelInfidel Heretic Registered User regular

    Play D&D 4e? :: Check out Orokos and upload your Character Builder sheet! :: Orokos Dice Roller
    The PhalLounge :: Chat board for Critical Failures IRC! :: #CriticalFailures and #mafia on
  • RetabaRetaba A Cultist Registered User regular
    For God and Country!

  • SpoitSpoit *twitch twitch* Registered User regular
    edited October 2011

    Do edits show up?

    Spoit on
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
  • CayrusCayrus Registered User regular
    His will be done, Amen

    This a dream come true for me; I love Papal politics!

    Former Secret Service Agent Nathaniel Ford in Call of Cthulhu: Whispers in the Darkness

    Henri Emmanuel Gratien St Pierre in Where No Man Has Gone Before

    Lord Augustus Cumberbatch in Eclipse Phase
  • romanqwertyromanqwerty Registered User regular
    edited September 2011
    Pope's are overated

    Also this is totally a signup

    romanqwerty on
  • vagrant_windsvagrant_winds Overworked Mysterious Eldritch Horror Hunter XX Registered User regular
    There is no God.
    But I guess I'll come to this shindig for the free wine and bread.
    The outfits aren't bad too. You can conceal weapons easily in those long loose robes.

    // Steam: VWinds // LoL: VWinds // PSN: vagrant_winds //
    // 3DS: 4682-8868-5037 // Switch: SW-5306-0651-6424 //
  • corvidaecorvidae Registered User regular

  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular

  • PhyphorPhyphor Building Planet Busters Tasting FruitRegistered User regular
    'Tis a sad day for all of Christendom

    Magic Box
    Academician Prokhor "Phyphor" Zakharov, Chief Scientist of China, Provost of the University of Planet - SE++ Megagame
  • 38thDoe38thDoe lets never be stupid again wait lets always be stupid foreverRegistered User regular
    On the fence. I want to play but I am unable to from work.

  • The AnonymousThe Anonymous Uh, uh, uhhhhhh... Uh, uh.Registered User regular
    But I like bread and wine!

  • SLyMSLyM Registered User regular
    Yes please

    Steam Starcraft SLeague of Legends
  • CythraulCythraul Registered User regular
    Here to be elected Pope of Phalla!

    Confusion will be my epitaph
  • kuhlmeyekuhlmeye Registered User regular
    SLyM wrote:
    Lonely Phalla yes please

    That sounds really sad.

    PSN: the-K-flash
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    edited September 2011
    En nomine patre, et fili, et spritu sancti

    Matev on
    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • BaidolBaidol I will hold him off Escape while you canRegistered User regular
    !God wills it

    Steam Overwatch: Baidol#1957
  • TayaTaya Hit refresh Registered User regular
    Sign up

    New Zealand time zones have screwed me before.

  • kuhlmeyekuhlmeye Registered User regular
    edited September 2011
    kuhlmeye wrote:
    SLyM wrote:
    Lonely Phalla yes please

    That sounds really sad.

    This was my sign up post, but I appeared to forget to remove the quotes. FAILURE.

    I promise to repent for my sins.

    kuhlmeye on
    PSN: the-K-flash
  • SLyMSLyM Registered User regular
    I was kinda wondering about that.

    Steam Starcraft SLeague of Legends
  • Sir FabulousSir Fabulous Malevolent Squid God Registered User regular
    Radical new idea. We're all the pope.


    I won $200 playing mafia once.
    Check out the VODs here
  • ZandraconZandracon Registered User regular

  • MrBlarneyMrBlarney Registered User regular
    Time to stretch those diplomatic muscles, shall we?

    !sign up

  • CapfalconCapfalcon Tunnel Snakes Rule Capital WastelandRegistered User regular
    Should I put the fact that I'm good at most of the Paradox games on my resume?

  • PhyphorPhyphor Building Planet Busters Tasting FruitRegistered User regular
    Only if you note that Italy & Germany didn't exist at this point and Spain had just been born

    Magic Box
    Academician Prokhor "Phyphor" Zakharov, Chief Scientist of China, Provost of the University of Planet - SE++ Megagame
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    The ultimate goal is to win a hat. How could I possibly not.. ahem... throw my hat in?

    Change from your riding gear

    *whines* Must I? I'm a dandy! That's what we wear!

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • SLyMSLyM Registered User regular
    Did Prussia exist?

    Can we just use that instead?

    Steam Starcraft SLeague of Legends
  • PhyphorPhyphor Building Planet Busters Tasting FruitRegistered User regular
    Nope. I suppose you could use the Holy Roman Empire, though that wasn't even close to a unified state.

    Magic Box
    Academician Prokhor "Phyphor" Zakharov, Chief Scientist of China, Provost of the University of Planet - SE++ Megagame
  • PhyphorPhyphor Building Planet Busters Tasting FruitRegistered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Pfft. Political entities of the 1500s are serious business

    Phyphor on
    Magic Box
    Academician Prokhor "Phyphor" Zakharov, Chief Scientist of China, Provost of the University of Planet - SE++ Megagame
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    *smacks Phyphor*

    Shut up and go with it. I didn't feel like getting all THAT complicated.

    I will beat you.

  • warbanwarban Who the Hoof do you think we are? Registered User regular
    Interesting. Reserve up

  • stever777stever777 AFK most Saturdays Registered User regular
    Sweet image, MrB!
    I want to be King of The Popes!

    Hosting Android: Netrunner - Thread 2: The Revenge

    The Black Hole of Cygnus X-1
  • Void SlayerVoid Slayer Very Suspicious Registered User regular
    Sign up!

    He's a shy overambitious dog-catcher on the wrong side of the law. She's an orphaned psychic mercenary with the power to bend men's minds. They fight crime!
  • FlarneFlarne Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Signing up!

    Flarne on
  • WietWiet Registered User regular
    Kýrie, eléison

  • WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    !Reserve up, please.

    Wildcat on
  • That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    I will be the next pope!

    PSN: ThatDaveFella
  • piLpiL Registered User regular
    kuhlmeye wrote:
    SLyM wrote:
    Lonely Phalla yes please

    That sounds really sad.

    Players: 1
    Special: Every day, vote a player to wallow in their misery. This player is not eliminated.
    Win condition: All players are eliminated.

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