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PA Comic: Monday, Oct 3, 2011

RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazedby the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
edited October 2011 in The Penny Arcade Hub
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Given the disrespectful manner of my treatment, my husk is holding up super well! I hate it, and I hate the idea of it, it’s my enemy in addition to being a kind of prison, but aside from the occasional twinge of piercing, mysterious pain, this thing just keeps on going. Sure: there are the occasional parasitic lumps, sucking out my vitamins. But it’s mostly cool. My teeth are rarely pulled out by a Charleston Chew.

Gabriel’s body is always resentful of their arrangement - always quick to dispense abuse. Sometimes, when we are in an airplane, one side of his face becomes paralyzed. Sometimes his jaw will squeeze a nerve in the side of his head, and even though the worst pain he knows is eating part of his skull, we have a panel to do and he must approximate humanity for the next hour and a half.

Sometimes he will try to eat a piece of fresh, ripe fruit, because we are fucking omnivores, and we respond at a fundamental level to everything that fruit represents. It is at this point that his lips become plump, hideously so, like some Hollywood cautionary tale. This causes him to spend an evening cross referencing symptoms, pacing the skeins of an infernal Web, until he is able to craft himself an entirely custom apocalypse.

I’ve managed to tuck several hours into Dark Souls, the multiplatform followup to the Sony published/From developed grindhouse RPG grudgefuck. You’ll be entirely at home coming over from Demon’s Souls, if you were one of the people exposed to one of the greatest surprises of this console generation.

It’s blistering difficulty is the most salient point, as a message it’s certainly travelled far. This means some of the basic stuff you’d think it would: survival-horror style rationing, big hits, mean-spirited booby traps and the occasional instakill. But it’s also difficult in ways modern games have simply decided against: a “ledge” in Dark Souls is not an aesthetic trapping, a fetish, an object meant to represent another object and evoke its properties without actually embodying them. It’s a fucking hole. There is no magical forcefield that will keep you from that hole. This world does not have your best interests at heart; it will eat you like anything else.

(CW)TB out.

turn them out

Rankenphile on

Posts

  • EddyEddy Gengar the Bittersweet Registered User regular
    dsls amirite

    “Even as a gengar she was lovely.” ― Ovid, Metamorphoses
  • Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    Wight

    Oh brilliant
  • SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    I know it's a variant spelling, but seeing "racoon" instead of "raccoon" still feels odd.

  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    From fucking all those Goddam Raccons. Bravo!

  • TaramoorTaramoor Registered User regular
    I think I know where he got it from.
    Raccoon.jpg

  • Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    edited October 2011
    The Wikipedia article for Raccoons features a few images, none more prominent than this:
    Raccoonpenisbone.jpg

    This is the best bone.

    Dark Raven X on
    Oh brilliant
  • InXplotchInXplotch Registered User regular
    I kinda found it amusing that the "today's comic" link pixelates the image. Also, legit punchline is legit.

    PSN: InXplotch
    ... My, what a boring Signature.
  • RoeRoe Registered User regular
  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Well, after Gabe's face in panel 2, I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep.

    Gaslight on
    bowen wrote: »
    The bacteria in your poop exist everywhere.
  • kingworkskingworks Registered User regular
    Are we making fun of allergies, fat lips, or both?

  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    kingworks wrote:
    Are we making fun of allergies, fat lips, or both?

    Really?

    We're making fun of hypochondria and racoon fucking. I laughed.

    TingleSigBar.gif
  • MortalToasterMortalToaster Registered User regular
    Relevant, from the twitter:
    cwgabriel wrote:
    I ate a peach for the first time in my life last night. It turns out I am allergic to peaches.

  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    I love this comic. More than the punchline, Tycho's "Wight." was really well timed/funny.

  • Bacon-BuTTyBacon-BuTTy Registered User regular
    I thought this was pretty funny.

    Dumb, but funny.

    Automasig.jpg
  • HenroidHenroid Radio Demon Internet HellRegistered User regular
    That middle panel. Talk about a face that only a mother could love.

    Centrism is just the cowardly way to be a bigot w/o being explicit about it.
    American politics isn't 4D chess, it's just if you give a shit about other people or not.
  • TofystedethTofystedeth veni, veneri, vamoosi Registered User regular
    My wife's lips occasionally swell up like that if she eats broccoli. I don't know if it's because they didn't wash it well enough or what, but it's weird.

    Also, this is a long time to have gone without ever having eaten a peach. I'm impressed.

    steam_sig.png
  • HenroidHenroid Radio Demon Internet HellRegistered User regular
    I haven't eaten any peaches yet.

    Centrism is just the cowardly way to be a bigot w/o being explicit about it.
    American politics isn't 4D chess, it's just if you give a shit about other people or not.
  • glithertglithert Registered User regular
    Peaches are delicious

  • JepheryJephery Registered User regular
    Peaches are what apples dream to be.

    }
    "Orkses never lose a battle. If we win we win, if we die we die fightin so it don't count. If we runs for it we don't die neither, cos we can come back for annuver go, see!".
  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    Mike "Fat Wips Gabe" Krahulik

    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpgsteam~tinythumb.png
  • SupraluminalSupraluminal Registered User regular
    What...? How do you go your entire life of 30+ years without having eaten a peach?

  • RaddagastRaddagast Registered User
    Preface: If undiagnosed, it's better to go to an allergist who knows what he/she is doing than to suffocate in doing this experiment.

    Sometimes fresh fruit allergy is really just a pollen allergy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_allergy_syndrome. Try chopping the peaches into small cubes or thin slices and boiling in enough water to cover them. Boil for 10-15 minutes, and add water if there's not enough to keep the peaches from burning. The heat may degrade (change the protein folding of) whatever heat sensitive compound is causing the problem. Swollen lips like in the comic more accurately depict anaphylaxis, not an oral allergy. Hyperbole ftw.

  • rabidmuskratrabidmuskrat Registered User regular
    That's a damned impressive length of time to go without ever having had a peach.

  • jwalkjwalk Registered User regular
    geez Gabe, stop Wasting Time no More and Eat a Peach already.

  • vradnavradna Registered User
    Gabe,
    Strongbad called; he's coming over to get Homestar's dialog back :winky:

  • TofystedethTofystedeth veni, veneri, vamoosi Registered User regular
    What...? How do you go your entire life of 30+ years without having eaten a peach?
    Living in Washington no less.

    steam_sig.png
  • HenroidHenroid Radio Demon Internet HellRegistered User regular
    What...? How do you go your entire life of 30+ years without having eaten a peach?

    What I did was politely decline the few opportunities that came my way, and I had the fortune of not surrounding myself with people who have pushy personalities.

    Centrism is just the cowardly way to be a bigot w/o being explicit about it.
    American politics isn't 4D chess, it's just if you give a shit about other people or not.
  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    I think the question is more leaning towards why you would want to avoid peaches, since they are so tasty. It's not like we're talking about something vile, like a pear.

  • HenroidHenroid Radio Demon Internet HellRegistered User regular
    Cambiata wrote:
    I think the question is more leaning towards why you would want to avoid peaches, since they are so tasty. It's not like we're talking about something vile, like a pear.

    It's not an active MUST AVOID and more of indifference. TO THE EXTREEEEEEEEEEEME

    But no seriously I just don't care to and I'm sure that was the same for Mike. And now I have a reason to avoid it because what if I'm allergic to them too? That would be fucked.

    Centrism is just the cowardly way to be a bigot w/o being explicit about it.
    American politics isn't 4D chess, it's just if you give a shit about other people or not.
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    I'm not sure if I've ever eaten a peach, and in my 30s too. More of an apple man.

    Had a pear only because someone bought us one of those Harry & David gifts.

    Mugsley wrote:
    So now I need to get it trimmed and adjusted, and all in.

    Steam:MichaelLC
  • SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    These pears are the tasty pears.

  • TabooPhantasyTabooPhantasy Registered User regular
    I will eat all of the fruit.
    Except Granny Smith apples. Those are just way too tart. I hate that pinched feeling at the back of your jaw that tart foods cause.

    ~Taboo
    BH11Fnk.png
  • SatanIsMyMotorSatanIsMyMotor Registered User regular
    jwalk wrote:
    geez Gabe, stop Wasting Time no More and Eat a Peach already.

    I see what you did there.

    steam_sig.png
  • rockmonkeyrockmonkey Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Raddagast wrote:
    Preface: If undiagnosed, it's better to go to an allergist who knows what he/she is doing than to suffocate in doing this experiment.

    Sometimes fresh fruit allergy is really just a pollen allergy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_allergy_syndrome. Try chopping the peaches into small cubes or thin slices and boiling in enough water to cover them. Boil for 10-15 minutes, and add water if there's not enough to keep the peaches from burning. The heat may degrade (change the protein folding of) whatever heat sensitive compound is causing the problem. Swollen lips like in the comic more accurately depict anaphylaxis, not an oral allergy. Hyperbole ftw.

    This is something I have. Like you said,the cooking part denatures whatever causes the allergy typically. I don't remember peaches specifically causing me a problem, but tree nuts like almonds, things like green peppers, bananas.

    Basically what happens to me is the back/roof of my mouth will start to itch like crazy and I find myself doing this weird tongue move trying to scratch it, my sinuses start acting up and suddenly I'm blowing my nose, my eyes may itch, etc. It's basically the effects of a sinus allergy but with the mouth/throat itching part.

    rockmonkey on
    NEWrockzomb80.jpg
  • jwalkjwalk Registered User regular
    jwalk wrote:
    geez Gabe, stop Wasting Time no More and Eat a Peach already.

    I see what you did there.

    seriously there's only One Way Out of this situation if you don't want Trouble No More, have Melissa make you some peach Mountain Jam and Stand Back!

  • SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Relevant, from the twitter:
    cwgabriel wrote:
    I ate a peach for the first time in my life last night. It turns out I am allergic to peaches.

    Actually, come to think of it, the story develops further complexity once you realize that his pre-"Gabe" handle was "Deadly Peach".

    SabreMau on
  • IvarIvar Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    SabreMau wrote:
    Relevant, from the twitter:
    cwgabriel wrote:
    I ate a peach for the first time in my life last night. It turns out I am allergic to peaches.

    Actually, come to think of it, the story develops further complexity once you realize that his pre-"Gabe" handle was "Deadly Peach".

    Wasn't it "Dark Peach"?

    edit: nevermind, I remembered that wrong from a 4th panel.

    also, OH GOD THE HORROR OF TERRIBLE MID-90s AMATEUR WEB DESIGN

    Ivar on
  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    SabreMau wrote:
    Relevant, from the twitter:
    cwgabriel wrote:
    I ate a peach for the first time in my life last night. It turns out I am allergic to peaches.

    Actually, come to think of it, the story develops further complexity once you realize that his pre-"Gabe" handle was "Deadly Peach".

    Those links are priceless. Sabre, you are priceless.

    bowen wrote: »
    The bacteria in your poop exist everywhere.
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