Dad moving out of my Mom's house, might take things that don't belong to him

Inkyblots

So to cut a long crazy ass story short, my parents have been divorced for a long time now and never got back together. My grandma on my dad's side was sick and he couldn't care for her properly so my mom offered to fly them down and move in with us (her now, I've been moved out almost 8 months now). Things were always akward blah blah blah, my Dad is pretty much a selfish prick and my Grandma always has his back, whatever.

Finally they have decided to move out after pretty much screwing my mom over on bills and whatnot. They refused to pay rent or utility bills the past few months and left her with a bunch of debt (they share the last name so she has to wait a year before she can put utilities back in her name, they were all in my dads so he had prof of residence). All this is fine as long as they are getting out of her life, my grandma has gone into assisted living, my dad is about to move out but the problem is he scheduled the movers to come while she is at work and I know he already plans to take a few things of hers. Nothing of incredible value that I know of but still I don't want him hauling off with a bunch of free shit. He is doing most of this to personally spite her, he doesn't have a car and refused to get a license and was pretty much stuck at home the whole time. She is actually scared to be home alone with him because of their past and the things that have happened recently (nothing to physically harm her, or I'd be taking this to the police first thing). So when she doesn't come home he sabotages her stuff, like sticking the internet router and modem in water, breaking her car window to get cigarettes, stealing money for cigarettes etc. I'm kind of getting off topic here though.

I am going to be there in her place on monday and I'm wondering what my options are if he tries to take what isn't his. Calling the cops is a obvious answer but nobody really has proof of ownership so I don't know what good that will do. I'm just trying get this over with without my mom getting screwed over anymore than she has to.

Karrmer

I worked in law enforcement and can say that calling your local police in this situation will most likely not do much but I would still suggest it. If they really can't prove ownership your mother would have to take him to small claims court, but the mere presence of the police and their ability to document things will likely result in him not taking her stuff or at least giving your mother some documentation for court. If all these issues you described happened at this same house it is possible the police are aware of him and his shenanigana, also.

Robos A Go Go

Is there any reason why you couldn't move the things you expect him to take to a safe location until the move, like your house?

Inkyblots

That is possible for small things like tvs, but there's stuff we store in the garage that's pretty big and not easily moveable, I'm hoping with me being there he won't try any funny business. Also having the option of calling the police there to document would be a nice warning to have if he pulls any shit. Such a petty thing to call them over though.

Honestly I'm being a little selfish I guess, these are material possessions and I'd rather have him gone than any of this stuff back. I just don't want him to take any more from my mom than he already has. He's pretty much proven that he's doing it out of spite and it just makes me angry that he has already gotten away with getting what he's already taken.

And I think the police were called when he broke her window, but by the neighbors. She normally wouldn't take any of this laying down but I think because he is my dad she is being way to passive about all this.

Skoal Cat

Petty? Seriously? This is part of their duty. Get a fucking Sheriff over there and be there with them.
If your mom's name is on the lease/mortgage, I don't think he can walk away with whatever he wants.

Dhalphir

Having the police there will likely dissuade him from trying anything in the first place. It sounds like he's a bit of a cowardly guy - doing this sort of stuff behind people's back. Even if he technically could make a stink to the cops about owning some of the stuff - he probably won't.

MushroomStick

Would it be impossible for your mom to take the day off from work? It sounds like this is the kind of thing that would be worth burning a personal day for.

November Fifth

I would do one of two things.

A)Go around ahead of time with your Mom and get all of his stuff together and stick it on the front porch or in the garage. Then refuse him entry into the main house.

B)Borrow a video camera and record him as he gets his stuff. Don't leave him alone to cause any mischief.

Skeith

If he's vandalized your mother's stuff before, that should be grounds to have a cop or a sheriff present.

aniqua

Definitely have a cop there. I know it sounds petty but I've had to do it before. It definitely helps to keep the peace, which is basically what they are there for. They can't determine who's is what but if your dad tries to take something and your mom says no that's mine, there would be the cop there to handle it. They can't say he can't take it, but they might discourage it. And unfortunately, if it comes down to it, then she could take him to small claims court. Try to get pics of everything you think he will take, also try to find pics of that same item being there BEFORE he moved in. Might be hard, but it helps to prove ownership at court.

On another note, your Mom made a mistake letting them stay with you guys. Simple as that. Its probably going to bite her in the ass cuz you know, "no good deed goes unpunished". But, hopefully she will learn from this and never fall for his crap again. He probably did it on purpose just to get a free ride. Sorry man

Inkyblots

Thanks for the replies all, the reason why my mom couldn't be there was because she just so happened to be starting a new position at a job she's had for only a few months. I went there in the early morning and hoped things could be civil. Unfortunately he tried to get physical with me and I was forced to restrain him which resulted in a little scuffle. The cops were called and basically told us without proof of ownership the dispute would have to be settled in civil court and if my mom (she showed up after finding out he put his hands on me) said it couldn't go it can't leave the house. We let him take his stuff and leave, it turns out he was also trying to walk out with a bunch of dvds and things to pawn off.

My mom's a little too nice for her own good but I'm just glad it's over with and she can try to find some roomies to keep the house.

Skoal Cat

I'm glad it all seems to be past, but the cops really should have been there to begin with.

Underdog

Good to hear it's done but this will almost definitely not be the last you see of him. My apologies but I suspect he knows your mom is too kind for her own good so it's likely he'll show up again, trying to take advantage of her. Tell her to be on her guard and never, ever allow him in again.

Skoal Cat

And call the cops the fucking moment he shows up.

Evil_Reaver

And change the damn locks on the house.