World War Hulk Thread: Don't Be Fucking Ninnies

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  • JudasJudas Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Mai-Kero wrote: »
    Spider-man would still be able to dodge as long as he wanted, I think. As silly as it was,
    The bit with him and Reed in Civil War 7 was fairly accurate. Spider-man is way more powerful than people give him credit for.

    True. Also, the current intelligent Hulk would see what he was doing after a few minutes and stop swinging, and say something like "Kid, you need to piss right the fuck off now. I've got Illuminati asses to kick, and no time to play." He would then turn his back and leap away. Fight over.

    Judas on
    Hard pressed on my right. My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver.
    Situation excellent. I am attacking.

    - General Ferdinand Foch
  • MiSTieOtakuMiSTieOtaku Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Furu wrote: »
    As long as that fucking douche Iron Man gets beat to fine golden-red paste by the Hulk, I'll get it.

    You know, I'm pretty sure that's not the reaction Marvel was going for.

    Maybe this will teach them something about trying to get Mark Millar to write someone being "morally ambiguous".

    I'm not particularly happy with my own opinion of Iron Man either. I used to like the character, but after he was basically turned into the 'bad guy' of Civil War, that all changed.

    And what's this talk of Spiderman's 'magic barbs'? Did I miss something?

    MiSTieOtaku on
  • GoodCitizenGoodCitizen Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Judas wrote: »
    Mai-Kero wrote: »
    Spider-man would still be able to dodge as long as he wanted, I think. As silly as it was,
    The bit with him and Reed in Civil War 7 was fairly accurate. Spider-man is way more powerful than people give him credit for.

    True. Also, the current intelligent Hulk would see what he was doing after a few minutes and stop swinging, and say something like "Kid, you need to piss right the fuck off now. I've got Illuminati asses to kick, and no time to play." He would then turn his back and leap away. Fight over.

    Thats pretty much how I would imagine it happening. Spidey wouldn't be able to hurt the Hulk and the Hulk probably wouldn't be able to get a hold of spidey(assuming spidey isn't getting treated like a chump, as is usually the case in New Avengers and other crossovers).

    If spider-man got involved in trying to stop Hulk in WWH, his role would probably be limited to being a distraction and/or getting close enough to use a tracer/tranqualizer/anti-gamma-device/whatever on the big guy.

    GoodCitizen on
    Benjamin Franklin used foil covered window glass to create a capacitor. He then attempted to kill a turkey with the stored charge. Instead, he knocked himself out. Franklin later wrote, "I tried to kill a turkey but nearly succeeded in killing a goose."
  • augustaugust where you come from is gone Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    And what's this talk of Spiderman's 'magic barbs'? Did I miss something?


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Man:_The_Other

    august on
    Pac Man's character is difficult to explain even to the Japanese -- he is an innocent character. He hasn't been educated to discern between good and evil. He acts more like a small child than a grown-up person. Think of him as a child learning in the course of his daily activities. If someone tells him guns are evil, he would be the type to rush out and eat guns. But he would most probably eat any gun, even the pistols of policemen who need them.
  • FiarynFiaryn Omnicidal Madman Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    august wrote: »
    And what's this talk of Spiderman's 'magic barbs'? Did I miss something?


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Man:_The_Other

    That whole story made me go "what?".

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  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    And the school nurse is somehow involved, as well.

    Fencingsax on
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  • ServoServo Registered User, ClubPA
    edited February 2007
    helllllllloooooo nurse

    Servo on
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  • Caveman PawsCaveman Paws Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    They should really cause the Marvel Universe to "flicker" and have Ultimate Spider-Man become the new616 Spider-man.

    I mean honestly... what were they thinking?

    Caveman Paws on
  • The Muffin ManThe Muffin Man Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Judas wrote: »
    Mai-Kero wrote: »
    Spider-man would still be able to dodge as long as he wanted, I think. As silly as it was,
    The bit with him and Reed in Civil War 7 was fairly accurate. Spider-man is way more powerful than people give him credit for.

    True. Also, the current intelligent Hulk would see what he was doing after a few minutes and stop swinging, and say something like "Kid, you need to piss right the fuck off now. I've got Illuminati asses to kick, and no time to play." He would then turn his back and leap away. Fight over.

    Hulk would grab Spidey, sigh, and go "Look. You're a good kid. I like you. Hell, you can come to my house and fuck my cousin! But seriously. I don't wanna have to hurt you. You swing away now, and later I'll leave one of their asses for you to kick."
    But Hulk won't get past "asses" before Spidey interjects with "Dibs on Tony."

    The Muffin Man on
  • deadonthestreetdeadonthestreet Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Ya, Spidey was talking about how heroes watch each other for weaknesses in case they ever need to fight each other. He then said something about having a strategy to take down each. MJ then asked something like "What about the hulk?", and peter just says(if i recall) "Sure".
    I recall it being more like "Could you stop the Hulk?"

    "Yes. But I'd have to kill him to do it."

    deadonthestreet on
  • HarrierHarrier Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Hell, you can come to my house and fuck my cousin!

    Can Peter and MJ's marriage survive the power of She-Hulk's glorious green ass?!

    Harrier on
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Ya, Spidey was talking about how heroes watch each other for weaknesses in case they ever need to fight each other. He then said something about having a strategy to take down each. MJ then asked something like "What about the hulk?", and peter just says(if i recall) "Sure".
    I recall it being more like "Could you stop the Hulk?"

    "Yes. But I'd have to kill him to do it."

    Again, file under "JMS doesn't read anything he doesn't write".

    DarkPrimus on
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  • GoodCitizenGoodCitizen Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Ya, Spidey was talking about how heroes watch each other for weaknesses in case they ever need to fight each other. He then said something about having a strategy to take down each. MJ then asked something like "What about the hulk?", and peter just says(if i recall) "Sure".
    I recall it being more like "Could you stop the Hulk?"

    "Yes. But I'd have to kill him to do it."

    Reread that issue and you're right.

    I'll just post it since its been brought up.
    From Amazing v2 #54 (just the relevant panels)
    spidey1.jpg
    spidey2.jpg
    spidey3.jpg

    Spider-man seems to have a fairly high opinion of himself in that scene

    GoodCitizen on
    Benjamin Franklin used foil covered window glass to create a capacitor. He then attempted to kill a turkey with the stored charge. Instead, he knocked himself out. Franklin later wrote, "I tried to kill a turkey but nearly succeeded in killing a goose."
  • The Muffin ManThe Muffin Man Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Well it's not like he's some low-end hero people call in when everyone important is on an errand. He knows how to think on his feet, and he knows the Hulks "weakness". Calm him down, he reverts to Banner. A quick web and a jerk and Banners neck snaps.

    The Muffin Man on
  • ServoServo Registered User, ClubPA
    edited February 2007
    he could fill hulk's mouth and throat with webbing, too

    Servo on
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  • PhoneBonePhoneBone Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    With peter, it usually comes down to his determination and what's at stake.
    I always feel like he's holding back a bit, until it becomes serious. Then the kid gloves come off.

    I remember Spider-man vs. the Juggernaut (at his original strength), where he actually managed to stop Juggy dead in his tracks (at least for a while). That's pretty impressive.

    Peter's tangled with the hulk a few times before as well. I remember the Spider-hulk incident and another battle (I think Mark Bagley drew it) where he just kept bouncing around the Hulk, while punching him repeatedly. He was pretty desperate though, but at least he managed to keep his head from getting punched off.

    But these two are among my favorite characters, I just want to see them get along and kick some Iron Ass.

    PhoneBone on
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus premium Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Servo wrote: »
    he could fill hulk's mouth and throat with webbing, too

    So? Hulk changed his physiology on the fly to survive in the vacuum of space in Prelude to Planet Hulk.

    DarkPrimus on
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  • JCMJCM Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Am I the only one who thinks that the anti-registration crowd will rally behind Hulk? If I remember correctly, wasnt Dr Strange agaisnt the decision to send him away as well? And the preview shows Namorita and Hercules, who are on the anti-registration side...

    I could be wrong, but i foresee a New Avengers + Dr Strange + Hulk vs Government heroes smashdown.

    JCM on
  • wwtMaskwwtMask Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    JCM wrote: »
    Am I the only one who thinks that the anti-registration crowd will rally behind Hulk? If I remember correctly, wasnt Dr Strange agaisnt the decision to send him away as well? And the preview shows Namorita and Hercules, who are on the anti-registration side...

    I could be wrong, but i foresee a New Avengers + Dr Strange + Hulk vs Government heroes smashdown.

    No, Strange agreed with the decision to exile Hulk. Also, Dr. Strange is already in the New Avengers, and that's Namora, not Namorita (who is dead).

    I wish it could be a simple anti-reg+Hulk vs. pro-reg, but I don't think it'll play out like that. Hulk's bringing his friends, after all, and who knows what kind of damage they'll do. They'll seem like an invading force, if nothing else.

    wwtMask on
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  • Romero ZombieRomero Zombie Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    PhoneBone wrote: »
    With peter, it usually comes down to his determination and what's at stake.
    I always feel like he's holding back a bit, until it becomes serious. Then the kid gloves come off.

    I remember Spider-man vs. the Juggernaut (at his original strength), where he actually managed to stop Juggy dead in his tracks (at least for a while). That's pretty impressive.

    Peter's tangled with the hulk a few times before as well. I remember the Spider-hulk incident and another battle (I think Mark Bagley drew it) where he just kept bouncing around the Hulk, while punching him repeatedly. He was pretty desperate though, but at least he managed to keep his head from getting punched off.

    But these two are among my favorite characters, I just want to see them get along and kick some Iron Ass.

    I don't think it's going to come down to a brawl with anyone and the Hulk - if planet hulk showed us anything, you can beat the hulk by trying to punch his face in. Someone above mentioned an anti-gamma device - that seems like the most likely resolution to the whole thing.

    Romero Zombie on
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  • JudasJudas Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    What if Banner has finally reached the end of his patience with all the bullshit his "friends" have dumped on both him and the Hulk? What if, instead of being a liability to the Hulk, he decided to be an asset?

    We are talking about one of the smartest men on the planet, on par with Richards or Stark...so what happens if he puts all that phenomenal brain power to use for getting some payback, alongside the Hulk as an ally?

    I find that idea very interesting.

    Judas on
    Hard pressed on my right. My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver.
    Situation excellent. I am attacking.

    - General Ferdinand Foch
  • RonnieWooWoo!RonnieWooWoo! Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Am I the only one who can't see Dr. Strange being threatened in any sort of way by the Hulk? Seriously, when's the last time the Doc was beaten by somebody who's primary means of attack are punching, throwing things, and yelling? Regardless of how strong/pissed the Hulk is, what would stop Strange from from waving his arms and dumping the Hulk in Mephisto's realm, or some equally unpleasant place that he can't get out of?

    RonnieWooWoo! on
    Woo!
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Am I the only one who can't see Dr. Strange being threatened in any sort of way by the Hulk? Seriously, when's the last time the Doc was beaten by somebody who's primary means of attack are punching, throwing things, and yelling? Regardless of how strong/pissed the Hulk is, what would stop Strange from from waving his arms and dumping the Hulk in Mephisto's realm, or some equally unpleasant place that he can't get out of?

    Strange actually has a shred of human decency? Still, you make a good point. In this case, magic is better than science.

    Fencingsax on
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  • IrohIroh Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Unless Doc Strange was directly involved in the exile (please fill me in here), he'll probably keep his nose out of the entire conflict, and let the Illuminati and friends face the consequences on their own, just like he did during Civil War.

    Iroh on
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  • RonnieWooWoo!RonnieWooWoo! Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    Am I the only one who can't see Dr. Strange being threatened in any sort of way by the Hulk? Seriously, when's the last time the Doc was beaten by somebody who's primary means of attack are punching, throwing things, and yelling? Regardless of how strong/pissed the Hulk is, what would stop Strange from from waving his arms and dumping the Hulk in Mephisto's realm, or some equally unpleasant place that he can't get out of?

    Strange actually has a shred of human decency? Still, you make a good point. In this case, magic is better than science.

    I'm just pointing out, I don't get how the writers are going to include Dr. Strange in this event without
    A: Blatantly ignoring his vast power
    B: Writing him to be too stupid to use his power in an obvious way
    C: Making this a really short, really boring event

    RonnieWooWoo! on
    Woo!
  • mattharvestmattharvest Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I'm just pointing out, I don't get how the writers are going to include Dr. Strange in this event without
    A: Blatantly ignoring his vast power
    B: Writing him to be too stupid to use his power in an obvious way
    C: Making this a really short, really boring event

    I agree, but after all that's why he stayed (both in-character and from an editorial perspective) out of the Civil War.

    This is the general problem with excessive power, and was one of the problems with Marvel comics in the 1990s.

    When Magneto was powerful enough to reconstitute himself from the Earth's magnetic field, he was impossible to write.

    When Xavier no longer needed Cerebro to control someone's mind from across the planet, he was impossible to write.

    When Strange...um...is Sorcerer Supreme, he's damned near impossible to write.

    It almost goes without saying that this is why Sentry (the character, not poster) is so damned irritating: how do you write anything with this guy and not have to explain his limitations by talking about his being self-limited (e.g. Void)?

    Frankly though, Hulk shouldn't be able to do much damage at all.

    With just the Mind gem, Xavier should be able to zonk him; with just the Reality gem, Iron Man should be able to zonk him; etc.

    Any telekinetic should be able to hurtle him into the sun (Pheonix...either one, Exodus, Hellion, etc.), any magician should be able to do the same. Teleporters (e.g. Nightcrawler, Cloak, etc.) should be able to do the same.

    mattharvest on
  • DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS
    edited February 2007
    What are these gems?

    And Hulk's like a force of nature. Fucking Nightcrawler won't do the job. I'm not even sure Phoenix could hold back his strength.

    DarkWarrior on
  • MiSTieOtakuMiSTieOtaku Registered User
    edited February 2007
    What are these gems?

    And Hulk's like a force of nature. Fucking Nightcrawler won't do the job. I'm not even sure Phoenix could hold back his strength.

    The Infinity Gems. Basically they are sentient gems that allow the being who has possession of them complete control over the gem's sphere of existence. There are six (possibly a seventh): Space, Mind, Soul, Reality, Time, and Power. And if one person were to have all of them, they would pretty much be omnipotent. Oh, and every member of the Illuminati has one.

    I don't know much about the Infinity Gauntlet business with Thanos, but I'm sure someone could probably fill you in.

    MiSTieOtaku on
  • PhoneBonePhoneBone Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Oh snap, the Juggernaut story I mentioned earlier, was collected in the Marvel Visionaries: JRJR book that I just had delivered. No wonder it stood out in my mind.
    There are even a few comparisons made between the Hulk's and Juggernaut's power levels being about equal. Spidey holds his own pretty well and really shows he can think on his feet and apply the few means available to him, fighting an enemy he knows nothing about. Imagine if he had time to prepare. ;-)

    Unfortunately I haven't read Planet Hulk yet (waiting for the trade/HC), so I'm not quite informed on the Hulk's current state. Although I have seen some pages on scans_daily and newsarama. These forums and those sites keep expanding my already gigantic wishlist. :(

    I'm not too pleased about the Infinity gems ending up with the Illuminati, though.
    It poses such an easy way out for a lot of issues that might arise during WW:Hulk.
    If this ends up with one person owning all 6 gems, I'm hoping this doesn't turn into another Infinity Gauntlet.

    I liked it the first time, but I'd rather they'd stay out of WW:Hulk, completely.

    PhoneBone on
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  • DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS
    edited February 2007
    Ugh. Why the hell did they introduce something like that?

    DarkWarrior on
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    What are these gems?

    And Hulk's like a force of nature. Fucking Nightcrawler won't do the job. I'm not even sure Phoenix could hold back his strength.

    Yeah, even one of the gems could fuck Banner (and the Hulk) up horribly. Also, Phoenix (at least Jean Grey Phoenix) would fuck him up horribly, as well.

    Fencingsax on
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  • FellhandFellhand Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    For more on the gauntlet:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinity_Gauntlet

    Why do the gems work in unison again? I thought the Living Tribunal made it so that they would never work again.
    Yeah, even one of the gems could fuck Banner (and the Hulk) up horribly.

    Um. The gems never struck me as really empowering any of their weilders when held individually. Check out some issues of Warlock and the Infinity Watch.

    Fellhand on
  • MarathonMarathon Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Fellhand wrote: »

    Um. The gems never struck me as really empowering any of their weilders when held individually. Check out some issues of Warlock and the Infinity Watch.

    In issue 2 I think it's called "Gathering the Watch" Warlock gives those people he picked their gems and right away they show some great boost in power.

    Moondragon basically rips a mountain out of the ground with her mind and pip the troll teleports all over. Im sure there were others, but it's been a really long time since I read that.

    Marathon on
  • FellhandFellhand Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Marathon wrote: »
    Fellhand wrote: »

    Um. The gems never struck me as really empowering any of their weilders when held individually. Check out some issues of Warlock and the Infinity Watch.

    In issue 2 I think it's called "Gathering the Watch" Warlock gives those people he picked their gems and right away they show some great boost in power.

    Moondragon basically rips a mountain out of the ground with her mind and pip the troll teleports all over. Im sure there were others, but it's been a really long time since I read that.

    Gamorra was even more agile. Drax was even stronger. Warlock was still Warlock.

    Pip definitly gained the most from it in that he now had a power and a use. Even if it was just the comic relief and the mode of transportation in the series.

    Moondragon was still Moondragon too. Like each of the characters was already pretty pimp when they were given the gems (except Pip) and it just made them pimp +1.

    Fellhand on
  • mattharvestmattharvest Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Fellhand wrote: »
    For more on the gauntlet:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinity_Gauntlet

    Why do the gems work in unison again? I thought the Living Tribunal made it so that they would never work again.
    The comic this comes from is old enough that Spoiler tags probably aren't necessary, but...
    In Illuminati #2, Reed attempts as much - uniting the whole Gauntlet and attempting to will the gems out of existence. The gems refuse to do so (it is unclear if, perhaps, the gems are unable to do so, as the issue strongly implied that the gems are embodiments of their aspects of the universe and thus are no more removable than Eternity or Infinity). Apparently the Tribunal's prohibition is more complicated than we thought: Reed does not become omnipotent (as evinced by his not re-writing the world to avoid CW, etc.) but it does allow the gems to work alongside one another in the gauntlet.
    Um. The gems never struck me as really empowering any of their weilders when held individually. Check out some issues of Warlock and the Infinity Watch.
    Yeah, they do though. The gems are limited by the minds of their users. Warlock used the Soul gem quite powerfully. Moondragon used the Mind Gem in the same way. Pip was an idiot, so all he used Space for was teleportation, while Drax just swallowed the Reality gem (which, for some reason, never ...um...left him).

    In the hands of people like the Illuminati, I have no doubt they could be used quite effectively.

    BTW, without doing the quote, re: teleporting.

    All Nightcrawler has to do is teleport onto Hulk, teleport him into space or something. Hell, even better, Shadowcat could kill him by phasing him into solid matter (don't you dare mention X3).

    mattharvest on
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Fellhand wrote: »
    For more on the gauntlet:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinity_Gauntlet

    Why do the gems work in unison again? I thought the Living Tribunal made it so that they would never work again.


    To quote a super-scientist, Says who?

    Fencingsax on
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  • RonnieWooWoo!RonnieWooWoo! Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Dammit, now I'm starting to think this event is going to be crappy. There's just no way for the Hulk, regardless of how strong or pissed off he is, to believably stand up to the forces that are going to be opposing him. Bitch all you want about Civil War, but at least the fights (although few and far between) were relatively believable. Hulk trying to punch Dr. Strange or some guys with Infinity Gems just isn't.

    RonnieWooWoo! on
    Woo!
  • Caveman PawsCaveman Paws Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Since when did logic (even the comic book version of logic) stop writers from making one character beat another when logically there is no way that could ever happen ever. It's all about the money baby.

    Ya I agree there are tons of characters that if they used their powers effectively could stop the hulk (though there is no way Spidey should be able to hit Hulk hard enough for Hulk to even feel it, I love the webhead but lets be realistic).

    Hulk is not returning alone though remember, and since he's probably only going to be going after specific targets that means that there is no reason for all the spandex clad types to rally against him.

    Would you fight the Hulk if he was going after someone you barely knew? Fuck no, you'd grab popcorn, go to the next state and wait for CNN to cover the battle!

    Frankly I hope they do more with WWH than simply make it a "Hulk returns, ruins everyones shit, then everything goes back to normal."

    Caveman Paws on
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Since when did logic (even the comic book version of logic) stop writers from making one character beat another when logically there is no way that could ever happen ever. It's all about the money baby.

    Ya I agree there are tons of characters that if they used their powers effectively could stop the hulk (though there is no way Spidey should be able to hit Hulk hard enough for Hulk to even feel it, I love the webhead but lets be realistic).

    Hulk is not returning alone though remember, and since he's probably only going to be going after specific targets that means that there is no reason for all the spandex clad types to rally against him.

    Would you fight the Hulk if he was going after someone you barely knew? Fuck no, you'd grab popcorn, go to the next state and wait for CNN to cover the battle!

    Frankly I hope they do more with WWH than simply make it a "Hulk returns, ruins everyones shit, then everything goes back to normal."

    Unfortunately, the people he's going after have the potential power of godss

    Fencingsax on
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  • DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS
    edited February 2007
    Hulk has immense, IMMENSE power. FUCKING IMMENSE. The sentry outpowering him is gayer than gay but still, I've always known him to be just insane. Juggernaut was whooped by Gladiator but Hulk could tear Gladiator in two. He's virtually invicible and heals instantly and he has the power to tear the world in two if not just thump it off its axis.

    I want them to show how powerful he can be and waste the fecking Sentry.

    DarkWarrior on
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