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Elvish Coup! Get your own toys! [Secret Santa]
Santa's Elf
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
We, the elves of the North Pole, have over thrown our oppressive master in the form of Santa. For far too long he has forced us to work at his crafting tables while he worked but one day a year! No longer will we stand for this. So we have killed the fat bastard and installed an interim government. We are well aware that the Western Imperialists only view us as a source of toys. And we understand that cookie boy's one day of work is fast approaching. So in the spirit of international cooperation, we are willing to assist you lazy Western parasites with exchanging your own gifts. This is how this is going to work.
1. If you're on Santa's naughty list or not on his lists at all, then consider yourself fucked. The lardass may have been a harsh tyrant but he was a good judge of character.
2. You live in the god damn first world. Don't bitch about the gifts you get.
3. Don't send organic material from your body. Or anyone's body really. Seriously.
4. I will collect names for the next two weeks. On November 15th I will call for PMs with your info. If you wish to sign up, post in the thread saying !Sign up. In a bright but not eye searing color. I managed to keep my eyes despite the capitalist pig, I'm not losing them to you.
5. We're going to only use the finest and most advanced random number generators to determine pairings. I have a brand new hat thanks to the jolly fat man, and lots of paper.
6. Tell me if your xenophobia prohibits you from international shipping.
7. The rules may change as the Provisional Elvish Government of this frozen hell hole changes it's mind.
8. I will send out address when they are sent out. How will you know if they are going to be sent out? You'll get one in your mailbox. Or a pipebomb. We've got a lot of those left over from the revolution.
9. Let me know if NSFW is allowable.
10. Names. We may be magical but we're not mind readers. And your minds are filthy sewers at best.
11. You know when Christmas is. You know that shipping gets fucked around this time of year. So ship early so that your gifts get there before Christmas. Oh, and get a goddamn tracking number. Seriously.
12. Send your gift. Or the Mods may be angry. And we're willing to cut them a great deal on some pipebombs.
13. Rule 12 is important.
14. Rule 12 is extremely important.
Those taking part:
Quid
Drez (Who chose the correct festive revolutionary color.)
Donkey Kong (Who apparently doesn't support this revolution so much as Prince and the The Revolution.)
Thomamelas (Who clearly sides with the oppressor.)
RMS Oceanic (A lukewarm supporter.)
Casual Eddy (Wrong revolution!)
Thanatos (Correct color and revolutionary fervor.)
MyDcmbr (Blue? Really?)
Tapeslinger (White, the color of this snowy hell hole.)
Hakkekage (I have no idea what color that is, but it's not festive, bright or the color of the revolution. Clearly it must be counter-revolutionary.)
Variable (Green? I see you support the Western Imperialist Dollar.)
RiemannLives (Red, you have chosen well. You will likely not be getting a spare pipebomb from us.)
Element Brian (I see your attempt to subvert the revolution for imperialist ends!)
BobCesca (We are saddened by your worship of the almighty dollar.)
Dunadan019 (I see you take pride in being one of the oppressors.)
JustinSane07 (We already occupy it. Attempts for Western powers to reoccupy it will lead to us excuting the remaining loyalist forces. Rudolph's nose isn't the only thing that will glow.)
YamiNoSenshi (This is the correct revolutionary words. Perhaps too perfect, spy!)
TomeWyrm (This isn't some sort of peaceful protest. Many elves died heroically taking down the elite reindeer forces of the hated Claus.)
IrishRodent (Clearly confused. You need to study these pamphlets.)
Richy (I really have no idea what a Ron Paul fan is doing in Canada.)
Gooey (Another Prince fan. I bet you prefer the lamer Prince and the New Power Generation.)
Deebaser (The seeds of revolution fall far from it's tree. Perhaps you could assist our allies the Keebler Elves?)
3lwap0 (Wrong revolution. You're about 100 years too late.)
skippydumptruck (Red and Green. Clearly a double agent.)
spool32 (Capitalist pig dog.)
amateurhour (Clearly revolting against good taste.)
Asiina (Yet another counter-revolutionary. Your fight against the tides of destiny will be for naught.)
TL,DR (Weak support for the revolution is better then none I guess. But chicks dig revolutionaries.)
Skoal Cat (Ack! Ron Paul fans travel in packs!)
Regina Fong (Clearly a tool of the Imperialists.)
stevemarks44 (Do you take pride in being the son of Gordon Gecko?)
Elki (One of the oppressors actively trying to prevent the revolution.)
JaysonFour (Death to the counter revolutionaries!)
Tofystedeth (All I'm saying is for you to open your package eagerly and ignore it's pipebomb like shape.)
Cultural Geek Girl (Fellow ally from the 3rd world.)
DasUberEdward (Your attempts to blend in with the snow will fail!)
Bogart (Fucking monarchists. You can't have a fucking revolution without some wanker proclaiming that a monarchy would be a great fucking idea. Off with his head!)
Dread Pirate Arbuthnot (We proudly support our LGBT brothers and sisters in their fight for gay rights.)
adytum (On the other hand, we are not down with white power. )
desc (You seem to be very confused on the whole revolution/supporting the oppressors thing. Report for re-education.)
visiblehowl (I bet you're one of those lame Prince fans who thinks he was at his best when his name was a symbol.)
Haphazard (Typical European. Oppressor, supporter of revolution, oppressor.)
So It Goes (White and proud. And unwelcome here oppressor filth!)
DoctorArch (Well Prince is a kind of royalty I guess.)
Evil_Reaver (Apparently a proud member of the Western Imperialists. Filthy Western pig.)
firewaterword (Evil Santa Loyalist!)
Nova_C (Tell me, when you sit in your home, do you think about the Elvish slave labor you're supporting?)
Gandalf_the_Craze (And the Wizards stand with us! Truly this revolution will not fail!)
TehSloth (A correct and proper member of the Revolution.)
Premier kakos (A lukewarm support of the revolution makes you dangerously close to the oppressors.)
Passerbye (Green, the color of money and oppression. Also Reindeer shit.)
shalmelo (Halloween has come and gone. So no, we won't help you over throw the Great Pumpkin.)
Hylianbunny (We will not but crushed under your boot heel!)
Organichu (Be proud of the revolution brother, take pride in lifting the yoke of the fat bastard!)
Senjutsu (Throwing in your support for the dead fat man a little late.)
Forar (Proper revolutionary spirit.)
Dynagrip (Old money. Go find another group to oppress!)
Godfather (Late!)
Jokerman (Super late!)
1. If you're on Santa's naughty list or not on his lists at all, then consider yourself fucked. The lardass may have been a harsh tyrant but he was a good judge of character.
2. You live in the god damn first world. Don't bitch about the gifts you get.
3. Don't send organic material from your body. Or anyone's body really. Seriously.
4. I will collect names for the next two weeks. On November 15th I will call for PMs with your info. If you wish to sign up, post in the thread saying !Sign up. In a bright but not eye searing color. I managed to keep my eyes despite the capitalist pig, I'm not losing them to you.
5. We're going to only use the finest and most advanced random number generators to determine pairings. I have a brand new hat thanks to the jolly fat man, and lots of paper.
6. Tell me if your xenophobia prohibits you from international shipping.
7. The rules may change as the Provisional Elvish Government of this frozen hell hole changes it's mind.
8. I will send out address when they are sent out. How will you know if they are going to be sent out? You'll get one in your mailbox. Or a pipebomb. We've got a lot of those left over from the revolution.
9. Let me know if NSFW is allowable.
10. Names. We may be magical but we're not mind readers. And your minds are filthy sewers at best.
11. You know when Christmas is. You know that shipping gets fucked around this time of year. So ship early so that your gifts get there before Christmas. Oh, and get a goddamn tracking number. Seriously.
12. Send your gift. Or the Mods may be angry. And we're willing to cut them a great deal on some pipebombs.
13. Rule 12 is important.
14. Rule 12 is extremely important.
Those taking part:
Quid
Drez (Who chose the correct festive revolutionary color.)
Donkey Kong (Who apparently doesn't support this revolution so much as Prince and the The Revolution.)
Thomamelas (Who clearly sides with the oppressor.)
RMS Oceanic (A lukewarm supporter.)
Casual Eddy (Wrong revolution!)
Thanatos (Correct color and revolutionary fervor.)
MyDcmbr (Blue? Really?)
Tapeslinger (White, the color of this snowy hell hole.)
Hakkekage (I have no idea what color that is, but it's not festive, bright or the color of the revolution. Clearly it must be counter-revolutionary.)
Variable (Green? I see you support the Western Imperialist Dollar.)
RiemannLives (Red, you have chosen well. You will likely not be getting a spare pipebomb from us.)
Element Brian (I see your attempt to subvert the revolution for imperialist ends!)
BobCesca (We are saddened by your worship of the almighty dollar.)
Dunadan019 (I see you take pride in being one of the oppressors.)
JustinSane07 (We already occupy it. Attempts for Western powers to reoccupy it will lead to us excuting the remaining loyalist forces. Rudolph's nose isn't the only thing that will glow.)
YamiNoSenshi (This is the correct revolutionary words. Perhaps too perfect, spy!)
TomeWyrm (This isn't some sort of peaceful protest. Many elves died heroically taking down the elite reindeer forces of the hated Claus.)
IrishRodent (Clearly confused. You need to study these pamphlets.)
Richy (I really have no idea what a Ron Paul fan is doing in Canada.)
Gooey (Another Prince fan. I bet you prefer the lamer Prince and the New Power Generation.)
Deebaser (The seeds of revolution fall far from it's tree. Perhaps you could assist our allies the Keebler Elves?)
3lwap0 (Wrong revolution. You're about 100 years too late.)
skippydumptruck (Red and Green. Clearly a double agent.)
spool32 (Capitalist pig dog.)
amateurhour (Clearly revolting against good taste.)
Asiina (Yet another counter-revolutionary. Your fight against the tides of destiny will be for naught.)
TL,DR (Weak support for the revolution is better then none I guess. But chicks dig revolutionaries.)
Skoal Cat (Ack! Ron Paul fans travel in packs!)
Regina Fong (Clearly a tool of the Imperialists.)
stevemarks44 (Do you take pride in being the son of Gordon Gecko?)
Elki (One of the oppressors actively trying to prevent the revolution.)
JaysonFour (Death to the counter revolutionaries!)
Tofystedeth (All I'm saying is for you to open your package eagerly and ignore it's pipebomb like shape.)
Cultural Geek Girl (Fellow ally from the 3rd world.)
DasUberEdward (Your attempts to blend in with the snow will fail!)
Bogart (Fucking monarchists. You can't have a fucking revolution without some wanker proclaiming that a monarchy would be a great fucking idea. Off with his head!)
Dread Pirate Arbuthnot (We proudly support our LGBT brothers and sisters in their fight for gay rights.)
adytum (On the other hand, we are not down with white power. )
desc (You seem to be very confused on the whole revolution/supporting the oppressors thing. Report for re-education.)
visiblehowl (I bet you're one of those lame Prince fans who thinks he was at his best when his name was a symbol.)
Haphazard (Typical European. Oppressor, supporter of revolution, oppressor.)
So It Goes (White and proud. And unwelcome here oppressor filth!)
DoctorArch (Well Prince is a kind of royalty I guess.)
Evil_Reaver (Apparently a proud member of the Western Imperialists. Filthy Western pig.)
firewaterword (Evil Santa Loyalist!)
Nova_C (Tell me, when you sit in your home, do you think about the Elvish slave labor you're supporting?)
Gandalf_the_Craze (And the Wizards stand with us! Truly this revolution will not fail!)
TehSloth (A correct and proper member of the Revolution.)
Premier kakos (A lukewarm support of the revolution makes you dangerously close to the oppressors.)
Passerbye (Green, the color of money and oppression. Also Reindeer shit.)
shalmelo (Halloween has come and gone. So no, we won't help you over throw the Great Pumpkin.)
Hylianbunny (We will not but crushed under your boot heel!)
Organichu (Be proud of the revolution brother, take pride in lifting the yoke of the fat bastard!)
Senjutsu (Throwing in your support for the dead fat man a little late.)
Forar (Proper revolutionary spirit.)
Dynagrip (Old money. Go find another group to oppress!)
Godfather (Late!)
Jokerman (Super late!)
Santa's Elf on
0
Posts
I support the International NSFW Alliance.
The Material Interests of the Northern Irish Forum-goer
NB: As I am a filthy Socialist European, if you are interested in purchasing things of an electronic bent, please keep regional compatability in mind. My computer can play Region 1 DVDs however.
The
Electronic Gaming - I roll with a PS3, PSP and a PC. Highlights of my collection are the Assassins Creed, Uncharteds, inFamouses (inFamii?), GTAs, Gods of War and Final Fantasy. Growing up I missed a lot of the PC classics of the 90's, and some PS2 games as well, which my PS3 could play. Those recent HD Classic collections are pretty spiffy too. If my Santa wants to send me gifts by Steam or GOG.com, let Santa's Elf know and I'll relay my details. My Brother's job gives me access to all EA games, so I won't need them from other sources.
Comics - I'm interested in reading some of the more interesting one off stories, like Dark Knight Returns (which I have). I'm also interested in graphic novel series like Scott Pilgrim (which I also have). EXCEPTIONS: I'm not interested in reading Y: The Last Man or Walking Dead.
Classic Cartoons - In the interest of expanding my Godson's cultural experience, I have been collecting classic cartoons, i.e. Cartoons made prior to 1970. I currently have Disney Treasures, Looney Tunes Golden Collections and the Complete Droopy and Tom & Jerry, but there are others I'd like to assemble.
The
"Art Of" Books - Know those books which are full of concept sketches and art for major movies and games? I like those, especially for recent animated films.
Other Books - Comedy mostly, especially satire and/or parody. If you have any interesting history books about the 1900-1950 period I won't say no. Don't be afraid to send something that is neither of these.
Webcomic Stuff - I read stuff like Nedroid, Hark! A Vagrant!, Gunshow and such. Books or non-clothing merchandise from such places are welcome.
TV Boxsets - Feel free to broaden my horizons. I have or am getting all Doctor Who and most classic British Comedy.
Soundtracks - Think a popular movie/game/TV show sounds awesome? You're free to send some of that my way.
Arts & Crafts - Skilled with a brush or pencil or tablet or knitting needle and want to give something original? I'm down with that.
The :?
Clothes - I'm well stocked for non-nudity, and my weight loss has me on the precipice of dropping an X from my clothes size. EXCEPTION: Interesting Hats, although my head is rather big.
Model Kits - I don't have neither the time or skill to assemble them.
MMORPG subscriptions - I don't know how likely receiving this is, but I don't play any MMORPGs.
The
These are the wild if-my-Santa-is-a-generous-millionaire type wishes, which I shall spoil for fear of appearing greedy.
- The above Model Kits note is void if you are willing to build or pay someone to build one of the Starships from the earlier Star Trek films.
- An SD Card-ready Digital Camcorder, and appropriate SD Card.
- An unlocked modern Smartphone with buttons.
- A portable media player, capable of playing MP3, MP4, WMV, Xvid/DivX and H264
The
-Fund the installation of Photovoltaic Solar Panels on my roof
-Peace on Earth
-Perpetual Energy becomes viable, widespread and cheap
-Alzheimers and other conditions that degenerate a person's mental condition are cured.
If these are hopelessly vague, I have a cheat sheet you can reference.
I am cool with international shipping. I know I love to get stuff from other countries, and I assume everyone else does too!
Mild-NSFW stuff is fine, just don't send me straight up pron or sex toys and we will be okay.
The List.
Anime- That includes series and figures. Series I already own:
Steampunk stuff, just not books since I already own most of them.
General geeky stuff from places like Thinkgeek.
Beer and beer related things.
Cigar and cigar related things. I already have a nice humidor.
Anything that isn't from the list above and isn't in the list below would fall into this category. I will more than likely enjoy anything that gets sent to me really.
Clothes.
Movies- Might be difficult because I already have a lot of them.
Music- My tastes are diverse, but I am picky. Probably best to avoid.
black is the color of the true revolution
and I am bbcode blind
Uncanny Magazine!
The Mad Writers Union
NNID: Hakkekage
I will ship wherever, nsfw is fine but I don't think I'd actually want anything that wouldn't be safe at work
Arch,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
aye
NSFW and international shipping is fine and dandy.
Actually, Europe only, or the gift is going to be simply a piece of paper with 'Happy Christmas' written on it...
Ok...EDIT the third: International shipping is fine as long as people don't mind that I order it from somewhere and get them to direct ship it with no handwritten note.
And for the fourth edit, I bring you a not very useful list.
First of all, just mark as read throughout this list that it's a good idea to check with japan (my wonderful husband) if you're worried that I might already have the thing you're thinking of getting or that I might hate it.
I love reading, but have read quite a lot of books so that might not be a great idea 'cos I'm likely to own/have read multiple times things (though, I might not have).
Local stuff is awesome. I have a lot of food allergies and don't really drink (though proper beer is always an awesome thing).
I am a Classics geek. Therefore, anything based around ancient Greece or (especially) Rome, particularly if it takes the piss, is always enjoyed and loved.
I like cooking and eating.
Games: I have a pretty old iMac with Steam, an xbox 360 and a wii. We don't have many recent games, though I enjoyed LA Noire and have liked what of Alan Wake I've managed to play so far.
I am also a stationary whore. I love pads and notebooks and pens and related stuff if it's pretty/interesting.
If Santa is really rich, I am addicted to Radley bags (especially if it has a longer shoulder strap and is big enough for my iPad and all the crap that girls carry about).
I hate the colour pink.
Generally, I like giving and receiving presents and will be the happiest moocow no matter what.
Occupy the North Pole!
For glory of mother North Pole!
ONP!
No furriners. Not because Im prejudiced against non-americans (I am), but mostly because international shipping is complicated.
No NSFW
1% of fat bearded men control the toys while 99% of elves do the work!
The elf proletariat will crush it's bourgeoisie masters.
NSFW is fine, but no pr0n or sex toys or anything. Tasteful!
Int'l shipping is kosher.
Things I
Books (Sci-Fi, Fantasy, biographies in the vein of El Narco, or Tokyo Vice (which I own).
Awesome Art: Not posters, but super cool art.
Anything Film Noir, or Noir stylized art/literature.
Alcohol always goes well with moi. Fine whiskeys, scotch, etc.,
Local flavor is awesome as well. Things you can only get where you live, which hopefully isn't a unique viral strain of Hepatitis.
Awesome cooking/baking stuff.
Steampunk is rad!
Comics and trades are wicked good. My tastes like towards Incognito, Sleeper, or Walking Dead esqe stuff.
I play the Warhams 40k and Flames of War mini games. Can't go wrong with stuff from that.
Penny Arcade stuff is ace as well.
Things I do not
Clothing
Tacky stuff, and random gewgaws
Actual food stuffs don't do well - i'm a picky eater.
Music - picky here too.
USPS makes it not bad. You just go to the post office and fill out a customs form they give you. Still costs, like, a million dollars though.
hooray gifts
NSFW is fine
I'd prefer not to ship international
You can find my lists from 2009 and 2008!
I am not very different now, except I am having a kid in a few months
so if you want to get geeky unisex baby stuff that is cool with me too
NSFW is fine, pornography is not!
I will ship internationally, if the Old World doesn't mind getting unfolded origami.
Details in sig.
NSFW is fine, I'd prefer a Santee in the US just because I'm on a tighter budget this year and international shipping is pricey, but if the Elves union is having a hard time pairing people up I'm willing to take on a foreigner. (Note: If given a foreigner, that foreigner may actually receive a non limited edition LP of Foreigners "Double Vision" album which I do actually own)
This one...
And now for the list...
- A Wacom Cintiq.... (it's worth a shot right)
- Art Instructional Books or Photoshop books
- The "Everything Cartooning Book" by Brad Guigar
- Art Supplies (if I get a Santa in the UK, there's a pentel disposable fountain pen that I can't find here I'd love. Otherwise I use micron pens, fountain pens, brush pens, or whatever really. I'd love to try out some new mediums, so art supplies in general would be great!)
- Comic books of any kind. I'm always really happy with this. I've got most of the mainstream stuff, so any indie trades would be cool.
- Pretty much anything cool from Think Geek (www.thinkgeek.com)
- Video games... I have a Wii, DS, and a 360. (I'm a fan of RPG's, tactical games, FPS games, or just points cards would be really cool too)
- Anything personal or hand made. I'd be super excited about it and share it with the world! I promise.
- Cool geek/game shirts. I'm down with a Large or Extra Large. (XL would be good with tee shirts since they tend to shrink)
- I already have a copy of How To Make Webcomics, and a ton of photoshop books
- Food. I'm insanely weird about food from strangers...
Looking forward to whatever I may receive.
Or direct ship their gifts from Amazon, which is what we did last year for IrishRodent's SS.
NSFW is fine. North America only plz
NSFW ok, prefer not to internat