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Texas Judge Beats Disabled Daughter on Video
The_Spaniard
It's never lupinesIrvine, CaliforniaRegistered User regular
It's never lupinesIrvine, CaliforniaRegistered User regular
http://gawker.com/5855478/reddit-video-apparently-shows-texas-family-judge-beating-disabled-daughter
Watching this video evokes a lot of emotions, not many of them positive, except for empathy for the little girl. Being a victim of physical, verbal, psychological and sexual abuse myself growing up, I truly hope that this whole thing gets sorted out nice and public, and that Judge get's everything that's coming to him legally.
The beating is bad, but the verbal abuse at points is worse. I won't repeat it just yet to give you guys a chance to watch it for yourself, but there are a few lines that will make your skin crawl, along with the alarming sensation at one particular point that he's getting off on it to some degree.
After the video came out the father's reaction is almost as depressing and enraging as the initial video. He said, "It's not as bad as the video makes it look." and, "I don't think I've done anything wrong besides disciplining my own children." among other equally stupid comments defending himself. One person replayed with a very dry and pointed, "That's right, the camera always adds ten lashings."
Also very saddening is the number, though small as it is, of people completely and utterly defending this guy in various articles, saying she got what she deserved for disobeying her patents.
There is so much to say and talk about here, I could keep typing for days, so I think I'll just cut the op here for now, and let us start discussing the situation that has happened.
Edit: New info is coming out all the time. Apparently he repeatedly has said as one of his defenses, that he already apologized for it in the past, the girl in question has publicly repudiated those claims and said she was never apologized to.
Another wonderful comment from someone reading these articles in response to his now allegedly false claims of having apologized. "You know what? Loving reasonable and appropriate discipline never needs to be apologized for. Hmmm."
Edit 2: There were a few things I forgot to add, one is that this guy has been a judge on cases of child abuse in the past and has completely dismissed verifiable child testimony because, "A child's statements amounted to no evidence." and they are "Fantasizers." Thanks for reminding me KalTorak.
Furthermore I forgot to mention his down right Luddite hillbilly attitude towards computers. In the video he's heard saying something along the lines of, "And this is why I didn't want her having a computer. Now do you see why I didn't even want one of those things in the house? They are nothing but trouble!" This is a man under 80 saying this in 2004!
Watching this video evokes a lot of emotions, not many of them positive, except for empathy for the little girl. Being a victim of physical, verbal, psychological and sexual abuse myself growing up, I truly hope that this whole thing gets sorted out nice and public, and that Judge get's everything that's coming to him legally.
The beating is bad, but the verbal abuse at points is worse. I won't repeat it just yet to give you guys a chance to watch it for yourself, but there are a few lines that will make your skin crawl, along with the alarming sensation at one particular point that he's getting off on it to some degree.
After the video came out the father's reaction is almost as depressing and enraging as the initial video. He said, "It's not as bad as the video makes it look." and, "I don't think I've done anything wrong besides disciplining my own children." among other equally stupid comments defending himself. One person replayed with a very dry and pointed, "That's right, the camera always adds ten lashings."
Also very saddening is the number, though small as it is, of people completely and utterly defending this guy in various articles, saying she got what she deserved for disobeying her patents.
There is so much to say and talk about here, I could keep typing for days, so I think I'll just cut the op here for now, and let us start discussing the situation that has happened.
Edit: New info is coming out all the time. Apparently he repeatedly has said as one of his defenses, that he already apologized for it in the past, the girl in question has publicly repudiated those claims and said she was never apologized to.
Another wonderful comment from someone reading these articles in response to his now allegedly false claims of having apologized. "You know what? Loving reasonable and appropriate discipline never needs to be apologized for. Hmmm."
Edit 2: There were a few things I forgot to add, one is that this guy has been a judge on cases of child abuse in the past and has completely dismissed verifiable child testimony because, "A child's statements amounted to no evidence." and they are "Fantasizers." Thanks for reminding me KalTorak.
Furthermore I forgot to mention his down right Luddite hillbilly attitude towards computers. In the video he's heard saying something along the lines of, "And this is why I didn't want her having a computer. Now do you see why I didn't even want one of those things in the house? They are nothing but trouble!" This is a man under 80 saying this in 2004!
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This man is a pathetic excuse for a human, much less a judge. If only there was somebody bigger than he was standing behind him to lash him just the same way every time he did something that was considered wrong.
EDIT: I mean literally my hands are shaking right now. This is some of the worst humanity has to offer and some people try to excuse it as "discipline". Just fucking sickening.
Fuck this guy. I'm hoping he'll see some sort of criminal prosecution but I'm not holding my breath.
Speaking of criminal prosecution, he's apparently a family law judge known to be lenient towards those accused of child abuse.
Also props to Reddit for getting the word out on this video.
Additional info:
- the daughter (who posted the vid to youtube) has cerebral palsy. This condition could extend the statute of limitations for prosecuting the abuse.
- local law enforcement is currently investigating.
This is one hell of a lot.
I don't care that the mom says she feels sorry for allowing it to happen. I saw her take some swings and be emotionally abusive too. She's just as culpable.
I probably shouldn't post any more in this thread. I finally forced myself to finish watching and I'm going to need to take my anti-anxiety pill a little early tonight.
Thank God this was posted publicly. I wish I'd had the bravery and ability to do so when I was abused repeatedly as a kid. We need more people to be aware of this sort of abuse. I will never hit my children.
If anybody else wants to air out and get their own stories off their chest, I wouldn't be opposed to it. I can be a bit therapeutic to commiserate with others here.
But this is a seriously huge problem and it goes unreported way too often. My dad never got his for what he did to me. I'm sure there are tons of others, too, because I know several other people who were abused. The worst part is feeling like it's your fault, like you deserved it, like it's not really abuse because you're a bad person down to your core and the beatings are just the righteous retribution you deserve.
Some people don't even get out of that stage. They get older and become abusive themselves, and end up thanking their tormentor for what they did. I'm really glad this girl can point back at this and say, "This is him abusing me, and it's wrong." It's a bigger step than you might think.
For me getting whipped was the only thing that did anything. Put me in timeout, I'd get up and leave. Take my toys away, I'd throw away everything I own. Bed without dinner, I'd go on hunger strike at home or steal food and just go out the window at night. Take a priv away, I'd start a fire in the house. Threaten me with groundings, I'd call the cops and lie my fucking ass off to create legal fees. Ban me from the TV, that TV wasn't going to work by the next morning.
I had ADHD as well so I was hyper and destructive as all hell.
Beatings and cold showers did work. Knock the crap out of me and I'd be dazed for a bit and wouldn't try it again. And it took a good bit, not a light whack on the ass and my mom didn't have the physical power to really do much, it required my dad or older brother. Though I made them work to catch me and would fight back like a pit bull with whatever I could get my hands on. Ice cold forced showers and turning the AC on full blast also calmed me down.
Do I feel bad about it, nope not at all. Does it upset me, again nope not really at all. I have nothing against hitting kids, some kids need it and frankly we baby them far too much now. But not every kid needs it, and ill kids probably not at all.
But as a kid who was hit, oh well. I don't mind and looking back on it some of the situations were extremely hilarious. Dudes went about it like a dick though. For me it was pretty much "come here you little shit" after I did something I full well knew would land a beating and then the game was on! How far and how long could I avoid it. With dad it could last awhile, with my older brother I was probably down and out within 20 feet.
Sucked for my mom though, she was way to weak to make it count so I didn't give a crap about rules or anything around her. All she could do was yell and lecture, whatever. I behaved around dad for the most part though. Unless I thought it was worth the beating, and at times it totally was!
I don't mean that as an insult, I mean that as a statement of fact.
What the fuck?
"My parents hit me because it was the only thing that worked, except for when it didn't work. But when it worked I never did it again, except when I did anyway, just because."
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The one time I avoided a beating was when I did something (I don't want to go into detail, because incredibly embarrassing) that wasn't wrong in the least, but I knew I'd still be punished for it. The school counselor called me in and asked if I ever got hit. So I said "yeah". She made me sign something that said I would report whether or not I was hit when I got home that day.
Sure enough my dad was going to beat the shit out of me. I told him about the thing I signed and he was incredulous. So instead of beating the shit out of me that time, he insulted me and called me terrible things, and then he grounded me for four months, and I wasn't allowed to have friends over for a year.
Another time I knew a beating was incoming for something and so I hid all the belts and things I knew he liked to use to hit me. When he found out what I'd done, he went out into the garage and made a huge beating paddle with a non-slip grip and holes in it to keep air resistance from being a factor. It was made from a 1x4 I think but I'm a bit hazy on the exact details. He made me watch him make it, and then he used it on me. It was more painful than anything I'd hidden from him.
Then he made me go find all his beating implements, and for every one I found he hit me again. At one point I started getting lightheaded and almost fainted, and he broke his new beating stick over my back. He had been aiming for my legs and ass, but I fell from the beatings and he ended up hitting my lower back instead.
I was so bruised up and had such a hard time walking that I was taken out of school for a week and told not to tell anybody. I don't know what story they told the school but my dad somehow convinced me to be quiet about it. I was too afraid of what would happen the next time I made him mad.
holy fuck
My story is pretty much the opposite of this.
I did pretty much whatever my parents told me to, all they had to do is ask. But if I forgot something, or didn't understand what they were telling me, that was a whipping. There were so many times when I was a kid that I got whipped and I honestly did not understand why.
My dad was really obsessive over cleanliness. Every day he would come home after work and yell at us about how filthy the house was, when we had spent most of the day cleaning it. I got whipped a lot for not cleaning up to my dads standards, or not doing it fast enough.
He also liked to threaten me and my brothers and sisters with calling CPS to take us away. He talked a lot about how horrible a place orphanages were and that if we didn't get our act together on the whole house cleaning thing he was going to take us to one. If I could go back in time, I would have called CPS myself, I think I would have developed much better in every conceivable way if I didn't have to deal with that.
This is why I get physically ill whenever I hear about something like this. Watching it is even worse. I had to go and sit in the restroom for a bit just in case.
Fuck abusive parents.
You had it worse than me in the objects area. Other than a couple instance where things were thrown at me and smashed into my face, I was never beaten with objects, it was all just good old fashion fists and feet used on me. The verbal and mental abuse was far more scarring though. The fact that your father designed and built objects to beat you with is just.. sadistic.
A lot of times it's a cycle. Like I said, victims of abuse often become abusive themselves and even grateful for the abuse when they get older. Anger is like a disease you can pass on, and when it's what your son sees as your primary method of discipline, they learn it themselves.
Seriously. Josh, my heart goes out to you.
I don't really think so.
I realized early on my parents were easy to beat. Through destroying property and causing damage they'd give up the game. No TV, fine, then you aren't getting any TV either and you guys are going to have to buy a new one.
I didn't mind any sort of verbal discipline. You don't have to obey them, why bother? "Go sit in time out", hahahaha, nope, won't work. Short of being tied onto the chair I was up and out of that thing in an instant. And before that you'll have to physically place me in it. I was also completely willing to do something that would suck for me as long as it caused problems for them. Take one toy? Ok we'll see how you guys like it when I throw every single one of them out.
Only two things ever worked on me. Actually tiring me out to the point of physical exhaustion, cold showers and cold room treatment, or my brother beating the crap out of me and sitting on me till I ran out of fight. Or the threat of violence that would actually hurt enough and long enough to give me pause. My mom wasn't that quick or strong. I could usually get to an object to fight back with before she caught up with me and at that point well bring it. I could make the encounter just as bad for her as it was for me. I learned really quick that mom couldn't do crap.
My father and brother on the other hand, that didn't work. They were too strong, too fast, and completely didn't care if I bit, fought back, or whatever I got my hands on, and my brother was usually fast enough I was down and out before I could get to anything.
So the only thing that would give me pause from doing what I wanted was knowing that my brother or dad would hear about it. And I'd get whooped bad enough that it would be unpleasant and I'd be in pain for a while. However, even then, if I thought it was worth it, ie throwing rocks at cars, blowing up a mail box, I'd still roll the dice. A beat sucks for a while, but somethings are worth it. A beating for stealing food is not going to be worth it, a beating for the perfect rock in a snowball shot totally is.
So yeah, beatings worked and were the only thing that deterred me from doing 100% what I wanted as a child. But if I thought I could get away for it or figured the beating was worth it I'd go for it anyways.
Some kids do need to be beaten, I was one of them.
My parents didn't beat my sisters. But my older brother was a terror for a while as well and also had to be beat. We both calmed down in our teens and it wasn't an issue after that.
I'd prefer he be rotting away a little more literally, but child abuse really, really pisses me off.
My parents were really young when they had me. Mom was 18, dad was 20.
So my dad is just getting to his 50's, and he's rich as fuck. He owns several houses, amazing cars and basically gets whatever he wants whenever he wants it.
When this whole thing with my wife getting cancer started (side topic), and my wife had to go down to MD Anderson in Houston for this week, my brother who is temporarily at my dad's place offered to ask dad and his new wife if they would be willing to watch my kids for the week while I got caught up on my classes.
I told him they will never be left alone with their grandfather. I have them this week.
True story; I was a wild child that discipline didn't work on unless law enforcement was called in. Didn't get one beating and still turned out okay.
Yeah not like that at all. I'd walk into the kitchen and throw eggs and objects at my mother and sister. I wouldn't stop either. I had to be physically chased down and restrained till I could get put in another room. And then it was a game to see how fast I could get out and manage to sneak back into the room and renew the assault. Next up would be "you don't get desert" at which point countdown till I could throw in the trash every desert I could get my hands on. My parents tried taking away the TV twice, both times I went after it and broke it promptly after.
I was hyper as hell, I could keep it up for hours on end, and all through the night, nobody was sleeping.
I knew what I was doing was wrong, I just did it anyways. It was fun and I got a riot out of it. The only thing I didn't find fun was getting the crap kicked out of me. My brother would often look at me and say "don't do it" when he knew I was angling for it, and ask me if it was "worth the ass kicking I'm going to give you". Which was pause for thought at the least. He was fast enough and went for full fists and tackles. Mom on the other hand used open hands and belts, so it was often worth it for a mere 10 mins of getting yelled at and whipped on the ass.
Some kids are crazy as hell. My sisters were saints but me and my brother were utter nightmares till our teens.
Defense contractor.
So your parents depended on something they couldn't reliably deploy, and which they couldn't even count on being effective for stuff that actually mattered.
Well, now we know where you got your intellect.
i had perfect attendance growing up, and my mom (well, my grandmom- my bio parents weren't around when i was growing up) had me as her trophy. she'd show me off, hang up all my awards, etc. she was proud- i was the first kid she'd raised who did well in school.
so finally, in the 6th or 7th grade i got resentful about never missing school. my friends got sick and missed stuff, they'd get taken home early from school trips, their family would go on vacation at the end of the year so they'd miss the last week of school, etc. i'm an immigrant (from israel) and even the 'studious asian kids' got some days off here in america.
this particular day in 6th or 7th grade i decided i wanted a day off so i faked being sick. i put a penny under my tongue, i ran the thermometer under hot water... a bunch of shit. my mom obviously didn't believe me- i looked fine and even a fake grimace couldn't sell an alleged 105 degree. so she's arguing with me, no, you're going to school; i'm saying no, i'm sick, i can't. finally she raises her voice to the 'there is no disagreeing with me' levels.
at this point- not even acting anymore, i was genuinely upset- i started crying that she didn't love me. you don't care what happens to me, you don't want me to do well... you just want me to brag to all of your friends that you're raising a kid who's doing well. i am just your trophy, and if you don't really love me then i don't really love you.
crying and very proud of myself i turned around to stomp off to school and my mom threw a ball peen hammer at me. perfect spiral, hit me in the back of the knee. i immediately folded like an accordion and hit the ground. she then yelled at me and made me limp to school.
for a long time i would reflect on stuff like this with a 'she was a great mom, she just hit me when i made her really mad' attitude
it took me probably 10 years to come to the terms with the fact that it wasn't ok for her to do that sort of stuff to me, regardless
The dad's obsession with the daughter bending over the bed (ie, assume a sexually submissive position) makes me question whether all the abuse that went on in that house was non-sexual.