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Problem member of a multi-family household.
Morvidus
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
My family has fallen on hard times. We moved in with my in-laws when reality finally overwhelmed my protests, and have been living there for 3 years.
I lost my job in November 2009 after lack of sleep interfered with my work. My wife and I had a new baby, and even though my wife was sweet enough to wake up with him, something inside me wanted me up to help too.
My wife's brother is 32, hasn't worked since before Bush claimed "Mission Accomplished", and has no aspirations to do anything else with his life. Somehow, he got his Facebook girlfriend to move in with him, so now there's a third "family" in this household.
I started my new job this week, after 2 years of no work other than staying home with the kids. However, the brother-in-law sees this as a threat on his way of life. It's obvious that he's scared his mother will cut him off and make him find a job. He stays up all night picking screaming matches with my wife, his parents, and even my children while I am trying to sleep and not cause patient deaths at work the next day.
My concern here is obviously my family. I don't own the house, so I'm afraid if I called the police on him for creating a hostile environment for my children, I would be removed from the home and my children taken away. Talking to him is out of the question because he is beyond rational thought.
I only need 3-5 months at this job before u can get my family to a safe place, but this is only my first week and he has already done noticeable harm to my sleeping schedule, and I'm afraid it won't be long before it affects my work. How am I supposed to handle this situation properly, and if need be, legally?
I lost my job in November 2009 after lack of sleep interfered with my work. My wife and I had a new baby, and even though my wife was sweet enough to wake up with him, something inside me wanted me up to help too.
My wife's brother is 32, hasn't worked since before Bush claimed "Mission Accomplished", and has no aspirations to do anything else with his life. Somehow, he got his Facebook girlfriend to move in with him, so now there's a third "family" in this household.
I started my new job this week, after 2 years of no work other than staying home with the kids. However, the brother-in-law sees this as a threat on his way of life. It's obvious that he's scared his mother will cut him off and make him find a job. He stays up all night picking screaming matches with my wife, his parents, and even my children while I am trying to sleep and not cause patient deaths at work the next day.
My concern here is obviously my family. I don't own the house, so I'm afraid if I called the police on him for creating a hostile environment for my children, I would be removed from the home and my children taken away. Talking to him is out of the question because he is beyond rational thought.
I only need 3-5 months at this job before u can get my family to a safe place, but this is only my first week and he has already done noticeable harm to my sleeping schedule, and I'm afraid it won't be long before it affects my work. How am I supposed to handle this situation properly, and if need be, legally?
Morvidus on
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Posts
Buy some earplugs.
but they're listening to every word I say
If it continues you then point out a) that you may lose your job and b) it will prevent you from moving out. The key here is to show your parents that long term, it is better for them to side with you.
Don't say, I want him gone. Start the conversation by saying you are having trouble sleeping due to the noise and you would like to start a discussion on what is fair to everyone. Also if you are not paying rent already start, even if it is a token amount. This will give you further standing.
Satans..... hints.....
She knows what is at stake her so she should be able to walk away because of that.
Satans..... hints.....
If not I would offer to sign a formal but open ended agreement to pay xx a month and a percentage of utilities. Even if it's a very small amount.
Then I'd say you have every right to call the police if things escalate beyond yelling. Or you're afraid they might.
Talk to your wife about being the bigger person in the immediate future and look into a small apartment ASAP. Even a one bedroom is fine for the first couple years with a baby.
If you talk to the maintenance folks where you work (assumption of a hospital) they'll probably have boxes of those orange and green disposable plugs. I wear them on the weekends when I don't have to hear an alarm, but since you've got a lovely partner maybe she'd nudge you awake? I sleep so great when I wear them its fantastic.
Edit: Obviously don't go stealing the things from your place of employment. Make sure its ok first.
Do this guys parents not give a shit that he's screaming at his sister and their grandkids at all hours of the night? Honestly, you are probably just going to have to suck it up until you can get out of there. what a shitty situation.
After all that's started and being discussed, ask about household rules, like noise levels and such. If it comes down to it, don't shy away from the fact that the brother's behavior is adding to your stress and subtracting from your sleep, both of which potentially put your job performance at risk. Also do not shy from the fact that he is yelling at your children. That is a red flag in my book.
It would also be nice to have the thermostat set to 74 instead of 68 sometimes...
Thank you all for the help.
The Raid
Now I actually enjoy this overly stressing and underpaying job without showing up tired and groggy.
The Raid