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Extreme procrastination
bdubguy
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
I am getting desperate. I am a senior in college, and my big project for this semester is a 25-page paper due by Dec 9. As of now I have about 4 pages written. It is meant to be the pinnacle of our undergrad work, and passing this class is required to graduate (which is in May for me). I can't get to solid work on it to save my life it seems. About a month ago, when I was still sort of on schedule, I let my WoW subscription lapse, knowing the new patch coming out would only distract me. Problem is, there is always something else. I will get latched on to some other game instead. In moments, I can force myself to delete some games, especially off of Steam (I wouldn't call them moments of clarity or lucidity, in fact the opposite, it seems as if I shut off my thought process and do it without thinking). After deleting TF2 and Deus Ex, I got back on Gran Turismo 5, which I haven't played in almost a year. After removing the Playstation, I got back into Torchlight. When I beat that, I found myself spending an hour playing fucking Mahjong.
This seems to be some weird compulsive shit I have. I put myself back on Adderall this semester after taking it during high school (didn't want to take any chances) but it doesn't seem to be working like it used to. I have been using the strategy of going to the campus library and studying there, which sometimes works, but even then I sometimes get sidetracked into reading more of my sources (which I can finish later), and weather has made it harder and harder to make the trip out there. I'm at wits end. I'm willing to try anything.
This seems to be some weird compulsive shit I have. I put myself back on Adderall this semester after taking it during high school (didn't want to take any chances) but it doesn't seem to be working like it used to. I have been using the strategy of going to the campus library and studying there, which sometimes works, but even then I sometimes get sidetracked into reading more of my sources (which I can finish later), and weather has made it harder and harder to make the trip out there. I'm at wits end. I'm willing to try anything.
bdubguy on
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The only thing you can "try" is to sit down and actually work. Put a sign up in front of you telling yourself to not get distracted if you have to. Because at this point I'd imagine its something like your capstone course which must be passed.
How do you work? A little every day, or do you sit down and get large chunks of essays done at a time?
How can you motivate yourself? How do you best work? Music, caffeine? TV on in the background playing something you don't really care about? Locking yourself in your room during an hour of the day you know you won't be interrupted? Leaving the house completely to help put yourself in a different mentality? Offering yourself a reward for each small step you complete (for every page? Every 2 pages?...every 2 hours?).
It's getting down to the wire, so you need a plan of action, you need to stick to it, and throughout it all, you need to remind yourself that even if it really sucks, it's temporary. It will all be over soon, but you need to do this. In the end you just have to find a way to get it done. Breaking it down into smaller pieces might make it easier to tackle, mentally. Try not to get overwhelmed with the idea of the entire remaining paper. Right now you'd have to do just over two pages a day, right? That is completely reasonable. Just start somewhere.
I tend to try to block out a whole day or afternoon to work on nothing but the paper, but even the tiniest distractions are killing me, like they never have before. If I'm a little hungry, I can't seem to work until I get something to eat. If there is a TV on anywhere in the house, it will distract me. It seems endless. This is why I have been going to the library. While there are still some distractions, and I am limited to how many books I can physically carry, I am at least held hostage with no games or anything until it closes. I tried rewards as I have done in the past, but this time I continually cheat.
What's worse, last weekend I was in a deep forum discussion about some movie or other, and I spent a ton of time researching my points and finding official sources to back my points, which is exactly what this paper entails. However, while genuine interest and nerdy obsession motivated me to remain so focused on that task, I can't summon the same motivation for this. Even though failing this class will undo the last 5 years of college, I seem to be numb to it. Odd, since in past classes I have been borderline panicking over other deadlines and grades.
You just don't want to write this paper. Maybe you're blocked up mentally about it. Maybe you don't know exactly what you want to say, maybe you just think it's a bullshit assignment and you already know all this stuff and why the fuck should you have to write a paper to prove it when your major is such-and-such and method X would be way more effective at demonstrating your knowledge and...
...and you just need to get over it, write your paper, and pass.
I decided I didn't want a C, so I started forcing myself to finish those assignments early, not letting myself do anything else until it was done.
I got an A.
I know it's tough, but once you create a space in which you aren't distracted and dedicate yourself to not messing around-- whether you need to take extreme measures like blocking your access to other stuff or not-- you can get this stuff done in a timely manner. Even if you only had--say-- three days left, you could still make it tons easier on yourself by getting going on this right away and being dedicated. (Hint: I said three days because I just had to make a final two-day push on an assignment since I hadn't gotten so much finished before that point, due to severe tooth pain. I posted what I did on brief breaks. I made it, heading out to class in 20 minutes or so now, didn't have to pull an entire all-nighter to finish it. The final length was only about half what you need to finish in total though.)
Go and talk to your tutor - get them to help you, its what they're paid to do! Take what you've done so far, work out a schedule with them and stick to it. Make appointments to see them to update your progress and keep them.
Make a chart with deadlines on it, and as you achieve each deadline, celebrate and reward yourself, even if its just write another page!
Plan something you really want to do when you've finished to celebrate it, and then remind yourself about it.
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"The power of the weirdness compels me."
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You'll get a lot of advice saying to eliminate distractions, which is poop advice. If the mind doesn't want to work, it just plays tetris with the holes in the ceiling tiles. You need to eliminate the block. Posting here is a good step for that. Keep it up.
Also I've found working at home is the worst. There is no limit to the amount of distractions you will encounter.
And do you have an outline for your paper? I've found them to be tremendously helpful for papers longer than 8 pages. I used to think they're a waste of time :P
10 page paper due this Friday, so far I'm on page 1. We've all been there!
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Pray.
Now this is much easier if you have a god to pray to. If you are an atheist like myself you might feel kind of silly at first, but you need to lower yourself under the feeling of "this is ridiculous".
Now here is the trick: get on your knees and pray out loud. If you can't get into a mindset of abject humility, then just feel how weak you are against this work. Your very willpower is failing, that should be enough to humble you. The important part is that you humble yourself as much as possible. You know this is fully within your capabilities, but you can't do it. Feel that helplessness. Now pray to whoever and say all of the smallest most pathetic and petty thoughts and feelings you have relating to your situation. Really get into it. Be honest. Ask for help to be stronger.
When you get up you will be ready to work.
If the president had any real power, he'd be able to live wherever the fuck he wanted.
And yes, Madpoet, posting here has helped alot. It's almost therapeutic. I've tried a few of your suggestions. Breaking it up into smaller pieces has helped a lot. I think some of the psychological obstacles stemmed from its massive size in my mind, that that helped alleviate that. Also, staying at campus also helped. It's right next to downtown, so there are numerous restaurants within biking distance so I have that covered (spending a bit more on food than I wish but it won't kill me, and is the lesser of two evils as I see it). But simply posting this thread has probably been the single biggest help. I guess it's a variation of the old trick of telling all your friends about what deadlines you have coming up so you feel accountable to them, not some random professor (or boss) who's feelings don't matter to you.
And Orikaeshigitae, yes I have a legal Rx, but I got back on Adderall because that's what I took for ADHD when I was in high school. As an adult, I tend to be against medication (I think overcoming mental ailments builds character), but when my degree and future are on the line I didn't take any chances and got back on it. It doesn't quite work how I remember it, but I've tried out a few doses and am now on the highest one without really bad side effects (that was one hell of a drill weekend, on amphetamines). However, I have learned to control my hyperactivity as an adult through maturity for lack of a better word, but my docs have told my that not only is adult ADD different from juvenile, but the medications also don't work the same (since brain chemistry changes over time, and even the exact mechanisms of some of these medications aren't fully understood). I was planning on trying to find a different medication over Xmas break, but Adderall is what I have now.
But like I said, posting here has been the biggest help. The simple knowledge that I have so many people encouraging me, some of whom have been in my shoes, is a major stress reliever.
Also, before you work again, look at your assignment and come up with a plan. Divide your work into reasonable chunks that you can look at as goals. A topic/example you want to discuss and assign it an amount of pages. All essays can be broken down into parts this way. Then work on one part at a time and don't even think about the other parts. It helps it from looking like a whole daunting task but rather small, reasonable tasks. It also makes it easier to work and then stop without feeling like you are giving up half way through. You've instead just completed one of the goals. Just be sure, if you do this, to assign some time to looking over your paper for coherence, to make sure all the parts are linked together in a meaningful way.
Set manageable targets and work in small steps. Keep talking about your writing progress to anyone who would listen. To the extreme, report your progress to someone. Having someone else keep track of your progress can exert some pressure to push you when you are at the point of procrastination.
You can do it. Keep at it.
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While this is possible, I wouldn't do it or even think about it. You wouldn't want to get into a habit of expecting your professors to be lenient with their deadlines for you when you really don't have an excuse beyond procrastinating. Also, it doesn't really work. Deadlines, for end of term projects especially, are set up to give TAs time to mark before the grade deadline. There's a reason they are when they are.