Christmas is awesome and I don't want to hear goddamn otherwise.
Sterica
YesRegistered User, Moderator mod
YesRegistered User, Moderator mod
Christmas is, of course, the most wonderful time of the year. It is when we all gather as a species, and we throw all pretense out the window and embrace our humanity by giving into our love of stuff. Whether it be giving or receiving, we spend the whole month just indulging in materialism. You think this is cynical sarcasm, but fuck you. Stuff is awesome. You give stuff to people to make them happy. You can get stuff and kill some time with it. Let's just enjoy stuff and quit worrying about it for this one time in the whole year. So let's gather 'round, and enjoy this magical season. Together.
Here are some things we can enjoy!
DECORATIONS!
Make your house pretty as can be with little lights and wreaths. Put up a big, phony tree because real trees are horrible and the cat keeps drinking the water. A bit of class is required. Those plastic Santas will invite nothing but scorn from the neighbors, and don't get me started on those inflatable things. Just remember that you have like three days after Janurary 1st to take the crap down. Christmas is over, and you just toughen up and soldier on.
FOOD!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and we do that by restricting certain things to HOLIDAY SEASON ONLY. It's a law. You will be arrested for consuming certain pies after New Year's. So make cookies and pies. Bake a lot of crap with red and green on it. This is also a good excuse to cook a lot of hams and turkeys, so take advantage of that. Maybe invent some kind of Christmas burger. I guess maybe a venison burger would be appropriate?
SONGS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjFQpwE3cqE
Okay, a lot of Christmas songs suck, but there's still some good stuff out here. I might be literally gay for Burl Ives, so he'll never get old to me. Limit your stay at malls, stores and certain radio stations or you'll die of overexposure or something. Swap your favorite songs of the season here.
FILMS!
There's plenty of good Christmas films. I'm not just referring to that tired bit where we yell "DIE HARD" and laugh at how witty we think we are. We're not, so stop it. Die Hard is a year-round treasure, you monsters. Scrooged is pretty good, and apparently there is actually a film IN THEATERS about Christmas that doesn't suck! It's by the same people that did Wallace and Gromit, so you may want to check that out. I can't remember the last the theaters had a good Christmas movie, so there's a rare treat. I'm also lumping specials in here, so get your fill of Grinches and shitty Christmas trees.
So go, and be festive and spread good will toward man and all that. Report any visits by three spirits and/or wingless guardian angels.
Here are some things we can enjoy!
DECORATIONS!
Make your house pretty as can be with little lights and wreaths. Put up a big, phony tree because real trees are horrible and the cat keeps drinking the water. A bit of class is required. Those plastic Santas will invite nothing but scorn from the neighbors, and don't get me started on those inflatable things. Just remember that you have like three days after Janurary 1st to take the crap down. Christmas is over, and you just toughen up and soldier on.
FOOD!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and we do that by restricting certain things to HOLIDAY SEASON ONLY. It's a law. You will be arrested for consuming certain pies after New Year's. So make cookies and pies. Bake a lot of crap with red and green on it. This is also a good excuse to cook a lot of hams and turkeys, so take advantage of that. Maybe invent some kind of Christmas burger. I guess maybe a venison burger would be appropriate?
SONGS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjFQpwE3cqEOkay, a lot of Christmas songs suck, but there's still some good stuff out here. I might be literally gay for Burl Ives, so he'll never get old to me. Limit your stay at malls, stores and certain radio stations or you'll die of overexposure or something. Swap your favorite songs of the season here.
FILMS!
There's plenty of good Christmas films. I'm not just referring to that tired bit where we yell "DIE HARD" and laugh at how witty we think we are. We're not, so stop it. Die Hard is a year-round treasure, you monsters. Scrooged is pretty good, and apparently there is actually a film IN THEATERS about Christmas that doesn't suck! It's by the same people that did Wallace and Gromit, so you may want to check that out. I can't remember the last the theaters had a good Christmas movie, so there's a rare treat. I'm also lumping specials in here, so get your fill of Grinches and shitty Christmas trees.
So go, and be festive and spread good will toward man and all that. Report any visits by three spirits and/or wingless guardian angels.
Sterica on
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It just gets better every year.
put it in the OP
Also I need ideas for simple things I can do with my friends for the holiday because I will be spending Christmas day with my friends as opposed to family but we can't afford presents or to put together nice meals. But we wanna like, try, ya know?
B A H
H U M B U G
I look forward to the traditional tube infractions at the end of this month.
conflicting messages
soon...
soon
TAKE THAT YOU GODLESS HEATHENS AND YOUR PAGAN SOLSTICE BULLSHIT
Whenever we spend christmas with some family friends there are always kids getting showered with presents
finding some way to be ungrateful and dismissive of them.
Fuck this gay holiday.
I am thankful for my family
I am thankful for their understanding
I am thankful that I grew up in a pluralistic society
that is all
Christmas music fucking sucks.
Yay Xmas.
Was it Valentine's?
Was it St. Swithin's Day?
Was it St. Swithin's Day?
My part time job being in a department store, I absolutely agree with you.
If I hear one more version of that godawful "last christmas I gave you my heart" song I swear to god I am going to sabotage the sound system there.
Up there with the goddamn Christmas Shoes.
It was St. Gabriel's Day.
Go all St. Barbara's Day on his ass.
Don't worry, I'm still happy about Christmas, I might be getting a chance to really stretch myself and try to make a perfect beef wellington for the family, I'm just much more excited about stuff that's happening in January.
It's worth listening to for the buildup. If you want the "good" stuff, skip to 2:00 in.
I have heard 3 different versions of this song, all sung by similar-sounding women.
It is driving me insane, hearing the same damn chorus repeated about five or six times consecutively for each (I think that's right, I'm annoyed and trying not to pay attention by the time it ends).
And I think it's JUST the chorus. The song is just the title repeated for three minutes or whatever.
You're jewish
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
Doesn't stop you watching it at any other time of the year now.
Satans..... hints.....
I think one of the three versions I've heard in the store might be sung by a guy, now that you say that.
The memories of that song just blend together at this point I suppose, it is played way too much.
So that all leads to this: I'm gonna fuck with her. I'm going to put up lights one strand at a time. Slowly. Deliberately. I have lights. I have boxes full of lights. I can draw this out. But mostly, I want to see how far this can go.
I am so Phil Hartman in Jingle All The Way.
3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
Seriously, every one, every year
Donate one, unwrapped toy because it is awesome to imagine even just one kid who didn't think they would get shit and picking out the most kick ass gift imaginable
It is a highlight of my year to pick out what I think will make this imaginary kid the envy of his peers
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
This year I am not going to wait til the last minute and then be like "oh darn it's too late to order stuff online"
Of course I say that every year but this year I mean it.