If I could take a moment of your time, I would like to tell a story. A story of mercy, of compassion during this upcoming holiday season. This is a story that takes place at Greendale Community College, one of the finest community colleges in California
It's not about how the school is run by a pansexual dean
or how it's actually
run by the Vice Dean of the college annex, producing some of the finest HVAC technicians in the state
It's not even a story about a group of students running the gamut in both age and race getting closer together through wacky class assignments and a growing need for intimacy that also allows for stronger personal growth
No, this is not their story. This is the story of a table.
A simple table, composed of........two other tables. Capable of sitting eight comfortably when combined, it always did what was asked of it. Yet over the last three years it became a place for sexual conquests:
a place for fat singers/actors to resist leaving a study group:
a place for rampant vandalism:
separation from its partner:
acts of physical violence:
and even forced to be complicit in multiple rapes across entire generations:
Tables like these are not able to speak for themselves. Every day they magically hold up our belongings, yet their veneer is removed, legs are dented, undersides inappropriately touched with flavorless gum, and even shot with paintballs. Please, defend the tables, because one day they will not be there to help you.
How can you help the tables? Preferably by watching your TV every Thursday night at 8pm/7pm CT on NBC, especially if you have a Nielson box, and also don't watch any other comedies on NBC. And by watching your DVR'd episode within 7 days of the original air date. And by buying multiple copies of the seasons 1 & 2 DVDs. And by buying lots of fine merchandise from the NBC store.
All of this helps provide greater awareness of table abuse.
Save the tables, isn't that right, black Hitler?
Mandatory thread tag: check out these nicely done Inspector Spacetime videos by fellow poster Schrodinger. Spread these around to any sci-fi fans you may know that currently aren't watching Community to help increase awareness. Six seasons and a movie!