Options

okcupid thread or i guess general dating thread

189111314102

Posts

  • Options
    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    neotoma i would like to sit in a bar and get drunk with you

    i would like that to be a thing that happens

  • Options
    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    Gumpy wrote:
    Keith wrote:
    Gumpy wrote:
    Keith wrote:
    Nowadays though I think I probably let myself get taken advantage of because I'd rather be used than be alone, you know?

    Let yourself be used a lot and you'll get taken for granted pretty much every single time. Being friendly, but looking out for yourself will lead to better things down the line.

    Oh I know. I was fine when I was living near friends and all

    but now I have almost no one in my life so it's like welp

    What kinda situation are you in? Still in education? If you're starting out without people to hang out with in a new place, then sorting that out is a billion times more important then thinking about ladies.

    Check out to see if there's an Amnesty International group near you. When I went down to uni, those guys ended up being super cool people, leading to a whole raft of very good things. Charity groups are awesome.

    Nah. I'm unemployed, living at my successful brother's house, in a small town that I want to get out of ASAP

    I'm still relatively close to my friends (about an hour and a half drive if I do the speed limit), but it's more of it costing so much (at least $40 in gas and $12 in tolls roundtrip) to visit so I've only been down there...3 times in six months

  • Options
    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    I've always wanted to get drunk with rob

    like, that is bucket list material there

    8j12qx8ma5j5.jpg
  • Options
    Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    Beasteh wrote:
    i feel like i've blown a lot of chances with female friends who waited for me to make a move but i was totally oblivious so then they got bored and met someone else and are now married/divorced/pregnant (this has happened 3 times, no joke)

    That doesn't sound so bad. Life moving on and all that. I seem to have a problem where I push the people I actually care about away and they end up dying. Three friends in particular. I got a lot of regret built up from that.


    58pwo4vxupcr.png
  • Options
    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Neo are you drunk right now

  • Options
    GumpyGumpy There is always a greater powerRegistered User regular
    I appreciate that, paying for transport's a shitter. Once tried to make something last with a wee lass who went to uni in Sheffield, but the cost of transport/the time needed to take out of uni to make it worthwhile threw a wrench into the works, and it all came tumbling down.

    I ended up vomiting on her best friends roof and then passing out at the end of that downer of a year. Then I picked myself up in the morning and headed down to the station to meet Edcrab.

  • Options
    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    Gumpy wrote:
    Then I picked myself up in the morning and headed down to the station to meet Edcrab.

    Damn

    Hope your life has gotten better, man.

  • Options
    OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
  • Options
    NeoTomaNeoToma Registered User regular
    I would like to get drunk with you guys too! Although it would probably be disappointing, I just kind of dance a lot and giggle.
    Grey Ghost wrote:
    Neo are you drunk right now
    I am never not drunk
    The character of Bunk Moreland was based off my life

  • Options
    GumpyGumpy There is always a greater powerRegistered User regular
    Keith wrote:
    Gumpy wrote:
    Then I picked myself up in the morning and headed down to the station to meet Edcrab.

    Damn

    Hope your life has gotten better, man.

    Aha, its fine. UKPax was awesome and I moved on to far better pastures. Just had to remember to stop getting too close to ladies who didn't live in the same damn city as me, and everything worked out.

    And now I need to worry about booking my next trip down to Sheffield for completely different reasons. That city has it in for me.

  • Options
    CampionCampion Registered User regular
    whoa hey now

    domming is not about making people feel awful

    It's about giving your partner permission to revel in the secret parts of themselves that they are socialized to believe is shameful

    it's really eroticized shame but in a quite positive way
    I made a lady feel awful while domming once and was like 'whoops, too far'

    4484-7718-8470
  • Options
    OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Yeah that ain't pleasant at all

    One reason I avoid the Vancouver link scene is because of how many people are only looking to feed their own self loathing

  • Options
    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    as someone that is into sub stuff on occasion

    what orikae said

    8j12qx8ma5j5.jpg
  • Options
    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    periods of self loathing suck too tho

    8j12qx8ma5j5.jpg
  • Options
    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    i used to kick myself for being the guy not making moves

    then i realized i was waiting for the right move to make and it has turned out gangbusters

    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

  • Options
    RehabRehab Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    ASimPerson wrote:
    You know what I always found weird? When I hang out at male-dominated sites/forums everyone thinks that women get laid all the time, that they know they're attractive, that they don't 'need' to do X to feel attractive, etc. All the female-dominated places I hang out at are filled with ladies who complain about being single, '20something and havent been kissed', all kinds of depressions but none of them think that men are some alternate sex species that would never share their buttouch secrets with the likes of them

    I'm a 20-something guy who's never been kissed. Sometimes when I get like that but then I buck up and reminder it's my own damn fault.

    Edit: I can't really speak as to why there's a difference in observed thought process there, though.

    First off, the notion that you if you haven't lost your virginity by X amount of years then you are a loser, or whatever, is some seriously stupid bullshit and you shouldn't let the mainstream thought on this or anyone using that as a weapon get you down. That said, just sounds like you need to be a bit more bold and forthcoming with women. Unless you get into one of those instances where a woman is all over you, you both pretty much have to meet halfway in terms of the effort going into hitting things off. If it makes you feel any better, I had one of those aforementioned instances happen to me before and fucked it up. Also, my first "girlfriend" was someone I really liked but neither of us really made a move to advance things and were both pretty bad at relationships at that time, so that is something I have had to work past since. I put that in quotes just because she was a girlfriend in that we dated and the like, but my relationship with her was completely different then the one I had with my most recent ex, which is what most people would normally think of when the word is mentioned.

    As for the differences in thought, I think most guys just assume its easy for women. In reality, that isn't always the case when enough women come to commiserate together.

    Rehab on
    NNID: Rehab0
  • Options
    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    yeah, I'm a loser for completely different reasons than sexual ones

    0BnD8l3.gif
  • Options
    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    my moves are best when I'm drinking jager

    8j12qx8ma5j5.jpg
  • Options
    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    Rehab wrote:
    First off, the notion that you if you haven't lost your virginity by X amount of years then you are a loser, or whatever, is some seriously stupid bullshit and you shouldn't let the mainstream thought on this or anyone using that as a weapon get you down.

    This is like "money can't buy you happiness". The people that say it are the people that don't have that problem

    Even ignoring the actual sex part, sex is so ingrained in our culture that it sucks not really being able to relate to a lot of it.

  • Options
    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    my moves are best when I'm drinking jager

    you got them moves like jäger

  • Options
    RehabRehab Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Dichotomy wrote:
    yeah, I'm a loser for completely different reasons than sexual ones

    See, I like to think that about myself too!

    Keith wrote:
    Rehab wrote:
    First off, the notion that you if you haven't lost your virginity by X amount of years then you are a loser, or whatever, is some seriously stupid bullshit and you shouldn't let the mainstream thought on this or anyone using that as a weapon get you down.

    This is like "money can't buy you happiness". The people that say it are the people that don't have that problem

    Even ignoring the actual sex part, sex is so ingrained in our culture that it sucks not really being able to relate to a lot of it.

    While I get what you are saying and I don't have that problem now, I said as much because I can relate to his situation. I didn't have sex until I was 27, which most would indeed have some sort of reaction to. Me, I don't care about when it happened though, just that it was with someone I liked and that the experience itself was positive.

    But yeah, sex is perhaps just a bit overemphasized in mainstream culture. Although its easy to see why, because hey, it does sell. Sometimes I just think the notions that its just trying to sell can fuck right off though, because not everything always plays out like a teen comedy or sitcom in real life.

    Rehab on
    NNID: Rehab0
  • Options
    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    My problem is every girl I date ends up wanting to marry me and well

    That doesn't work out so well for me.

  • Options
    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Well more, I don't work out so well for them.

  • Options
    ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    Beasteh wrote:
    castrate all bronies

    See, people who get all rabid and sexual about MLP are creepy and weird.

    The people who say shit like this and love looking at pictures/videos of bronies and laughing at them and making fun of them at every turn are also kind of creepy and weird.

    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
  • Options
    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    Keith wrote:
    my moves are best when I'm drinking jager

    you got them moves like jäger

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBNXDXNOKlo

    8j12qx8ma5j5.jpg
  • Options
    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    Artreus wrote:
    Beasteh wrote:
    castrate all bronies

    See, people who get all rabid and sexual about MLP are creepy and weird.

    The people who say shit like this and love looking at pictures/videos of bronies and laughing at them and making fun of them at every turn are also kind of creepy and weird.

    nah

    i actively avoid looking at pictures/videos of bronies

  • Options
    GumpyGumpy There is always a greater powerRegistered User regular
    Being shot down, sometimes brutally, is something that pretty much no one can avoid. Not getting emotionally taken out when it happens if the first big step.

  • Options
    ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    Also screw improving yourself for a lady or really anybody else.

    Improve yourself for yourself.

    The other stuff will follow.

    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
  • Options
    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    Artreus wrote:
    Also screw improving yourself for a lady or really anybody else.

    Improve yourself for yourself.

    The other stuff will follow.

    yeah this is really key

    8j12qx8ma5j5.jpg
  • Options
    KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    IpseDixit wrote:
    Kusuguttai wrote:
    IpseDixit wrote:
    I am a huge fan of OKcupid and highly recommend it to anyone who's lonely

    I met a lady and lost my virginity (lady recently got engaged which is kinda weird, but I'm happy for her) and gained a ton of confidence

    Then I met a crazy lady and that was a weird bit of time, but hey thems the breaks sometimes

    And then I met my current girlfriend of 3 years through mutual friends and deleted my OKCupid profile because I don't need it no more

    So yeah OKCupid is a totally cool thing

    the exact same thing happened to me! except i met my girlfriend of three years on okcupid
    three years this tuesday
    im takin her to disneyland

    We did that this summer for her birthday

    It was totally awesome and fun times and made us sad that we could only afford to go for one day

    yeah i wish i could afford more but them's the breaks

  • Options
    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    kusu

    anime lady

    E: wait no that was skully and not true

    Tommy2Hands on
    8j12qx8ma5j5.jpg
  • Options
    GumpyGumpy There is always a greater powerRegistered User regular
    Artreus wrote:
    Also screw improving yourself for a lady or really anybody else.

    Improve yourself for yourself.

    The other stuff will follow.

    yeah this is really key

    Yup yup yup

  • Options
    Mortal SkyMortal Sky queer punk hedge witchRegistered User regular
    edited December 2011
    This isn't a dating thing so much as a general ladyfriend (who I'll admit I do have a thing for) issue, but damn, there is no way to have an unawkward conversation with girls about their weight. Now, guys are never supposed to bring this up, but she brought it up.
    The next thing that made it really awkward was the part where I mentioned that she needed to work on exercising, not because she's fat (she isn't at all), but because sitting in a computer chair and smoking regularly (she's at least been working on quitting recently) has left her in poor shape. This is the part where I realized she doesn't know the difference between fit as in being well-toned and fit as in being able to run a mile, because she basically called me a hypocrite.
    Then she gave me the whole 'former anorexic' rant for trying to push her towards being in better shape, when I meant less "look like a bikini model plx" and more "try and get things better for your body". Trying to explain the whole dichotomy between tone and physical ability in the definition of shape just left her in a sour mood. Not friendship ending or anything, just sour.
    This isn't a case of "lol women, am I right" so much as it is "dammit, some people just won't listen", because I know some guys who do the exact same thing.

    Mortal Sky on
  • Options
    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited December 2011
    ohh yeah this happened to me last month

    i was iming the girlfriend and was telling her about how i have a running + rowing machine and am going to use it at least 3 times a week to get fit in the new year

    casually mentioned 'you're welcome to join in, i have a lot more motivation with an exercise partner'

    apparently this is tantamount to calling her a sperm whale?? who knew

    Beasteh on
  • Options
    RehabRehab Registered User regular
    That conversation was never going to end well.

    I would have chewed it over with a Twix.

    NNID: Rehab0
  • Options
    Mortal SkyMortal Sky queer punk hedge witchRegistered User regular
    It's not the first time this conversation has happened between me and this girl, either, but the difference is that last time (about a month ago) she actually bothered to listen to me after cooling down. But that time, my major sin was that I was the one who brought it up.
    I'm also kinda miffed that she defended herself mostly by saying I'm not in shape either. I mean, I'm far from toned but I can at least do a Crossfit-based workout three times a week. bluh
    And of course, this is the only thing ever this girl and I actively disagree about.

  • Options
    GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    I just had a long string of texts with a girl who I went on two dates with me. We hit it off super well then she became too busy for anything else. I hinted that it would be nice to see her, rather than communicating via text. She basically told me she really liked me but she's super busy and can't really date right now, but maybe in the future. Relationships do not go on hold and play elevator music goddammit.

    sierracrest.jpg
  • Options
    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    Gafoto wrote:
    I just had a long string of texts with a girl who I went on two dates with me. We hit it off super well then she became too busy for anything else. I hinted that it would be nice to see her, rather than communicating via text. She basically told me she really liked me but she's super busy and can't really date right now, but maybe in the future. Relationships do not go on hold and play elevator music goddammit.

    some people think its okay to put other people on hold

    and then conveniently forget and get with someone else and then attempt to guilt trip the injured party

  • Options
    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    oh fuck she just said she's infatuated with me

    this is not going well if she uses the L word I'm going to have to break it off there

    8j12qx8ma5j5.jpg
  • Options
    Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    well I guess hitting her up on skype couldn't hurt

    8j12qx8ma5j5.jpg
This discussion has been closed.