That brave Fisherdwarf gives me an idea for posting outer guards. Train up legendary wrestlers, then send them into retirement as fisherdwarves. Dig out strategicly placed fishing holes, mark them as fishing zones, set the fishing preference to designated zones: done. Now you've got hardened troops lying in wait for ambushers and those mincing smooth-chins.
i'm a bit bummed out after i captured a weregoat and 3 goblins, waited for the full moon to strike, and released the horrible creatures into my freshly dug arena. nothing... happened. the weregoat waited by the exit floodgate and the goblin stood stone cold by his cage. as usual when something goes even minutely wrong, i obviously abandoned the fortress, but after that climactic moment went awry my new endeavors are a little without meaning... i need ideas...
i'm not sure i'll ever get the chance. i built my new dorks an idyllic valley hideout at the crest of a freshly dug waterfall but the slowly flooding plains below have slowed them to a crawl. at this rate it will be 2015 by the time the second wave of migrants arrive
Butcher Yak. Attempt to tan the hide, hide reanimates and kills butcher. Named murderous Yak skin.
That's just... I don't even...
How can you even destroy such a thing? I mean, even if you could figure out a way to destroy it, how could you bring yourself to do so? That's just so... perfect.
Dwarf Fortress: How I learned to love rampaging undead yak skin.
I posted earlier about my military tantruming because their uniform settings didn't include decent pants. Fixed the problem, aside from one hammerdwarf whose trousers were apparently destroyed in combat, and who for some mysterious reason would never put on pants again (and kept complaining about how embarrassing it is to walk around uncovered). Eventually I tried removing her from the squad in the hopes that being freed from her uniform would let her pick up whatever clothes she liked, but that didn't help either. Well, at least she was no longer armed and dangerous, or so I thought. Once she started her final tantrum rampage, she literally bashed other dwarves' skulls in with her fists. Convicted her in the Justice screen, she was taken to the jail and chained up... after which the Hammerer went to pick up the prisoner's former masterwork Silver War Hammer and administered 50 hammer strikes (normally I only have unforbidden wooden war hammers in stockpiles for this exact reason). Not much was left of her after that. Welp, one legendary warrior less. Then again, it was her own damn fault for refusing to wear pants.
Soon after, my beautiful fortress turned into a sea of blood and vomit as a siege of goblins riding Giant Olms arrived. The Olms dove right into the lake, swam up the tunnel leading to my well (I now realize I should have built a fortification to block such access), not caring that half of their riders drowned during the trip. Meanwhile my soldiers were all waiting for the invaders at the main gates and I was puzzled about all the "interrupted by Giant Olm" spam...
Miraculously, nobody died aside from a couple of war dogs. Apparently Giant Olms suck. I locked all doors except the ones leading out of the fortress to facilitate a somewhat controlled escape for the civilians. I had to make more beds in the hospital, though, and did run out of plaster and crutches. Almost everybody in the fortress is more or less unhappy now. These are interesting times.
Sometimes I wonder how to best deal with mass dwarfelancholy. I've come to the conclusion that the best way is to just shut off from the outside world, pause the mining operations and just work on home improvement and social rights. Dwarves that get their own cubbyhole with smooth, engraved walls and masterwork Beer Cake tend to cheer up eventually - unless the reanimated livestock, Dwarven Justice System or offended Nobles get to them first.
Alright and in this next scene all the animals have AIDS.
I would totally sell roasts like that for trade, but the stones laying around everywhere piss me off to no end, and I'd rather make 1000 stone crafts to clear the clutter
I would totally sell roasts like that for trade, but the stones laying around everywhere piss me off to no end, and I'd rather make 1000 stone crafts to clear the clutter
Food based economies have the side effect of happy dwarves, I went craft based this time, but now I've got a lot mopey dwarves and tantruming babies. Babies! Angry, drunken babies that keep smashing up my still.
I like to make Blocks to deal with excess stone, they speed construction, skill up masonry, and, best of all, STACK.
I would totally sell roasts like that for trade, but the stones laying around everywhere piss me off to no end, and I'd rather make 1000 stone crafts to clear the clutter
Food based economies have the side effect of happy dwarves, I went craft based this time, but now I've got a lot mopey dwarves and tantruming babies. Babies! Angry, drunken babies that keep smashing up my still.
I like to make Blocks to deal with excess stone, they speed construction, skill up masonry, and, best of all, STACK.
Why not both?
I mean it only takes a small farm to produce INSANE amounts of food.
There's no plan, there's no race to be run
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
No reason. It only just occurred to me that the reason my dwarves are so morose is probably because Ive been neglecting the food side of business. I tend to go all out to ensure a wide variety of savory delights. Cave wheat flour, quarry bush leaves, various fishes and meats, and all the querns, workshops , and powered irrigation systems to support them. It's a full scale operational. Then once I've got all that shit going I start making pig tails and get caught up in the clothing industry.
So, thus far, whenever I thought about making better food I just overwhelm myself with plotting out a similar system, which would make this fort like every other fort I've made, and I'm trying not to do that.
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Ninja Snarl PMy helmet is my burden.Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered Userregular
Naturally, I would never tell anybody they playing DF "wrong", especially if it involves making things more complicated (complexity opens the doorway for delicious disaster), but building a supremo dining hall does pretty well for keeping dwarves happy. Makes sure there are plenty of chairs and tables (which is easy even when there are no trees around because you can make rock thrones instead of chairs), a decent amount of space, then engrave the hell out of the room.
Certainly no reason you need to do it that way, but dining reasons are pretty easy to make. Gets more complicated if you're using burrows, though you just make multiple smaller dining rooms.
Ultimately it's all irrelevant, as at a certain point you end up with more value to trade than the caravans are capable of hauling. At least in terms of useful things to buy.
There's no plan, there's no race to be run
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
Plonking down a few Masterwork Statues (of whichever metal you've got lying around) in your Dining Hall also helps. Designating Statue Gardens tends to help out with happiness issues, the flipside though is that, being the bloody drunkards they are, Dwarves may throw down in parties and bilge drink for months - slowing down the Fortress production to a halt.
Which could prove to be a massive problem.
But it's easy to set up, and it definitely helps stave off at least some of the Berserker Dwarves, so you could say that you basically get to pick your poison.
Alright and in this next scene all the animals have AIDS.
Plonking down a few Masterwork Statues (of whichever metal you've got lying around) in your Dining Hall also helps. Designating Statue Gardens tends to help out with happiness issues, the flipside though is that, being the bloody drunkards they are, Dwarves may throw down in parties and bilge drink for months - slowing down the Fortress production to a halt.
Which could prove to be a massive problem.
But it's easy to set up, and it definitely helps stave off at least some of the Berserker Dwarves, so you could say that you basically get to pick your poison.
Oh, solution. Don't designate it as a dining hall, make it a statue garden. They won't throw parties in those.
There's no plan, there's no race to be run
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
I made them twin fancy eating halls that seat 40. Both with smoothed walls, statues, tables, and chairs; all made from our finest resource : Chalk.
We'll see if that breaks the cycle of violence that seems to have gripped our youth. Hopefully they will not be further enraged by this misappropriation of precious flux.
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Ninja Snarl PMy helmet is my burden.Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered Userregular
edited March 2012
So I just started a fortress with the latest version. Checked outside in a haunted area and there's a "sparse staring eyeball" right outside my fort entrance. I guess it goes along with the wandering geese corpses.
I've already got a bad feeling about this place.
EDIT: Oh look, a snow storm has started WHAT THE FUCK?!
Maybe this isn't so bad. Just let me check the description...
WHAT THE FUCK!
Oh, and the circle things?
Fuck me...
What a great game.
ZOMBIE EDIT: And the zombie geese and kestrels killed my cats and dogs. Which then turned into zombie cats and dogs.
And now the zombie cats and dogs are pestering the dwarves.
DOOOOOMED EDIT: And now the corpses are reanimating faster than I can put them in the refuse pile so I can lock them away and move on with the horrors of life.
CIRCLE OF DEATH EDIT: Aaaand now the dwarves slain by the zombie cats and dogs are coming back as zombies. Whelp, that's that. It was a good run, fortress; we almost managed to get everyone inside and locked away from the endless eye-and-tendril fields, zombie wildlife, and bad weather before everything went zombie.
THE ENDIT: Had one dwarf miner left. Attacked a zombie peasant, promptly died. Game over, man, game over.
FUTILITY EDIT: Reclaim mode. Turns out zombie dwarves are persistent. Reclamation turned into an immediate brain-buffet as the new dwarves immediately found out what happened to the old dwarves. Then joined them.
THE END TIMES: Second reclamation, this time with all sword-wielding dwarves. All dwarves promptly slaughtered by the growing zombie legion, which by now consists of at least 40 reanimated creatures and parts of creatures. I say "at least 40" because there are also a half-dozen missing dwarves, which are basically just surprise zombies at this point.
I think it may be time to try my luck somewhere that doesn't have an undead army formed of my own failures.
I would be so happy if a zombie army made up of the named dwarves whom you lead to death and glory, and undeath and unglory, shows up at your new fortress as a siege.
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Ninja Snarl PMy helmet is my burden.Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered Userregular
At this point, I would be happy if I could butcher something without ending up with a refuse pile full of undead mule hair, zombie yak skin, and sundry undead parts trying to kill everything nearby. I'm getting tired of digging new refuse rooms.
And I would naturally put refuse dumps on the surface, but the last fort taught me that the surface of a haunted area is certain death. I sent somebody up to chop down a few trees, then panicked and brought them back inside when I started seeing "job interrupted by goose corpse". I don't suppose that corpses can become "safe" if I dig down far enough?
I mean, the imminent death part is great and all, but everything zombie-related seems to turn into a massive undead limb-fest that you just can't win, even when you win.
put a zombie pit above each nobles bedroom, with a lever activated hatch so when the noble gets annoying, pull the lever and zombie paratroopers.
Take it a step further, and design the noble rooms so you can use water to flush the zombies out of the noble room after they've done their job, into a cage chamber to capture them all to reload them back into the drop pit, leaving the original room clean and avalible for another noble to move in to.
Butcher Yak. Attempt to tan the hide, hide reanimates and kills butcher. Named murderous Yak skin.
This is gonna be hard to top for "Most Dwarf Fortress thing to happen in Dwarf Fortress."
That's what I thought, at least until I had UNDEAD MULE HAIR attacking my dwarves. I can at least wrap my head around a murderous yak skin flapping about; I don't even have a way to visualize zombie mule hair killing my dogs.
so i decided to build a fortress on a volcano in the middle of the ocean. my original leader sadly sacrificed himself in the act of channeling out our magma moat and stream for the forges, but it seems to have been in vain... while i have unlimited iron and a growing longland grass farm to supply food and beverages - important, since there is not a single water tile here - there's also nothing else. at all. i don't know where the migrants keep coming from, but would it be hard enough to smuggle in a goblin or wolf on their next wave? i've been penned up in this steamy little cave waiting for something to happen but i'm not sure it will.
Posts
Or alternatively, be a man (dwarf). Hunt animals and make their bones into axes and armour.
now reclaim that fortress and see what happens
With nothing but a few pieces of copper and iron armor, an iron short sword, and two meat shields companions.
The fight was surprisingly easy, though I did disarm it..and dislegged it.
So instead of a zombie hippo wiping me out, it was a zombie raven biting a turkey to death, which led to zombie turkey apocalypse.
Evil biomes with their auto zombification is so much fun.
That's just... I don't even...
How can you even destroy such a thing? I mean, even if you could figure out a way to destroy it, how could you bring yourself to do so? That's just so... perfect.
Dwarf Fortress: How I learned to love rampaging undead yak skin.
Should be able to change that this weekend.
Hair killed his Fortress, trufax.
I got a little excited when I saw your ship.
Soon after, my beautiful fortress turned into a sea of blood and vomit as a siege of goblins riding Giant Olms arrived. The Olms dove right into the lake, swam up the tunnel leading to my well (I now realize I should have built a fortification to block such access), not caring that half of their riders drowned during the trip. Meanwhile my soldiers were all waiting for the invaders at the main gates and I was puzzled about all the "interrupted by Giant Olm" spam...
Miraculously, nobody died aside from a couple of war dogs. Apparently Giant Olms suck. I locked all doors except the ones leading out of the fortress to facilitate a somewhat controlled escape for the civilians. I had to make more beds in the hospital, though, and did run out of plaster and crutches. Almost everybody in the fortress is more or less unhappy now. These are interesting times.
-> Goblin invasion
-> Abandon Fortress
-> Reclaim Goblets
-> Repeat
Fucking greenskins.
_______________________________
Sometimes I wonder how to best deal with mass dwarfelancholy. I've come to the conclusion that the best way is to just shut off from the outside world, pause the mining operations and just work on home improvement and social rights. Dwarves that get their own cubbyhole with smooth, engraved walls and masterwork Beer Cake tend to cheer up eventually - unless the reanimated livestock, Dwarven Justice System or offended Nobles get to them first.
I got a little excited when I saw your ship.
I got a little excited when I saw your ship.
Food based economies have the side effect of happy dwarves, I went craft based this time, but now I've got a lot mopey dwarves and tantruming babies. Babies! Angry, drunken babies that keep smashing up my still.
I like to make Blocks to deal with excess stone, they speed construction, skill up masonry, and, best of all, STACK.
Why not both?
I mean it only takes a small farm to produce INSANE amounts of food.
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
So, thus far, whenever I thought about making better food I just overwhelm myself with plotting out a similar system, which would make this fort like every other fort I've made, and I'm trying not to do that.
Certainly no reason you need to do it that way, but dining reasons are pretty easy to make. Gets more complicated if you're using burrows, though you just make multiple smaller dining rooms.
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
Which could prove to be a massive problem.
But it's easy to set up, and it definitely helps stave off at least some of the Berserker Dwarves, so you could say that you basically get to pick your poison.
I got a little excited when I saw your ship.
Oh, solution. Don't designate it as a dining hall, make it a statue garden. They won't throw parties in those.
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
We'll see if that breaks the cycle of violence that seems to have gripped our youth. Hopefully they will not be further enraged by this misappropriation of precious flux.
I've already got a bad feeling about this place.
EDIT: Oh look, a snow storm has started WHAT THE FUCK?!
What a great game.
ZOMBIE EDIT: And the zombie geese and kestrels killed my cats and dogs. Which then turned into zombie cats and dogs.
And now the zombie cats and dogs are pestering the dwarves.
DOOOOOMED EDIT: And now the corpses are reanimating faster than I can put them in the refuse pile so I can lock them away and move on with the horrors of life.
CIRCLE OF DEATH EDIT: Aaaand now the dwarves slain by the zombie cats and dogs are coming back as zombies. Whelp, that's that. It was a good run, fortress; we almost managed to get everyone inside and locked away from the endless eye-and-tendril fields, zombie wildlife, and bad weather before everything went zombie.
THE ENDIT: Had one dwarf miner left. Attacked a zombie peasant, promptly died. Game over, man, game over.
FUTILITY EDIT: Reclaim mode. Turns out zombie dwarves are persistent. Reclamation turned into an immediate brain-buffet as the new dwarves immediately found out what happened to the old dwarves. Then joined them.
THE END TIMES: Second reclamation, this time with all sword-wielding dwarves. All dwarves promptly slaughtered by the growing zombie legion, which by now consists of at least 40 reanimated creatures and parts of creatures. I say "at least 40" because there are also a half-dozen missing dwarves, which are basically just surprise zombies at this point.
I think it may be time to try my luck somewhere that doesn't have an undead army formed of my own failures.
And I would naturally put refuse dumps on the surface, but the last fort taught me that the surface of a haunted area is certain death. I sent somebody up to chop down a few trees, then panicked and brought them back inside when I started seeing "job interrupted by goose corpse". I don't suppose that corpses can become "safe" if I dig down far enough?
I mean, the imminent death part is great and all, but everything zombie-related seems to turn into a massive undead limb-fest that you just can't win, even when you win.
Or just dump garbage into magma, magma solves the problem even better.
Chamber of the Damned. For those nobles that just won't shut the fuck up.
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
Take it a step further, and design the noble rooms so you can use water to flush the zombies out of the noble room after they've done their job, into a cage chamber to capture them all to reload them back into the drop pit, leaving the original room clean and avalible for another noble to move in to.
*sounds of mechanisms turning, chains pulling and part of the wall shifting aside*
Brraaaaainns. BRAAAINS!
This is gonna be hard to top for "Most Dwarf Fortress thing to happen in Dwarf Fortress."
That's what I thought, at least until I had UNDEAD MULE HAIR attacking my dwarves. I can at least wrap my head around a murderous yak skin flapping about; I don't even have a way to visualize zombie mule hair killing my dogs.
Now imagine that your throat and lungs are the shower drain.
I got a little excited when I saw your ship.