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can't stop won't stop farting

Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
edited January 2012 in Social Entropy++
i woke up this morning farting and i can't seem to stop
they are really just the worst farts

how do you cure butt hiccups

Local H Jay on
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Posts

  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    i'm home

  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    beasteh thread

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  • RadiusRadius Registered User regular
    Everyday we stray further from God's light
    Steam Switch FC: 2799-7909-4852
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Ain't no cure for baby farts.

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  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    have you tried drinking a glass of water using your butt?

    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Catch each of them in a bag and send them off to the heavens.

  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    they smell like dog farts
    i think there is a small dog farting in my butt

  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    now will this be just a rountine fartectomy, or a radical fartectomy

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  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    Farting is how I let the world know I care

  • JarsJars Registered User regular
    this seems like a tough thing to adjust to in a relationship no matter what

    do you have to hold your farts in all the time or do both people just cut loose?

  • HeadCreepsHeadCreeps NOW IS THE TIME FOR DRINKING! Registered User regular
    Find a well ventilated room and just

    let 'em all out

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  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    Jars wrote:
    this seems like a tough thing to adjust to in a relationship no matter what

    do you have to hold your farts in all the time or do both people just cut loose?

    if i fart in the same room as my gf we break up for however long she can smell them
    she just stops loving me

  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
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  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    Jars wrote:
    this seems like a tough thing to adjust to in a relationship no matter what

    do you have to hold your farts in all the time or do both people just cut loose?

    you're not in a real relationship until you can fart with your partner like you would on your own


  • skettiosskettios Enchanted ForestRegistered User regular
    edited January 2012
    Jars wrote:
    this seems like a tough thing to adjust to in a relationship no matter what

    do you have to hold your farts in all the time or do both people just cut loose?

    just cut it loose, but try to be polite.
    like, try not to fart if they're using your thigh as a pillow
    if it happens, oh well, no biggie

    skettios on
  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    seriously my gf goes to bathroom to do farts
    i just lift and spread

  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Jars wrote: »
    this seems like a tough thing to adjust to in a relationship no matter what

    do you have to hold your farts in all the time or do both people just cut loose?

    I find it pretty hilarious that you actually find this tough.

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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    i have been doing the tiniest farts lately

    but they are also the stinkiest

  • ReginaldReginald When I am Pres., I will create the Department of ______Registered User regular
    Sometimes I fart in my sleep so loudly that it wakes me up.

    Also, I really enjoy feeling slimmer after a big fartfest. Eat gassy foods for the fart diet.

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
  • WaltWalt Waller Arcane Enchanted Frozen ElectrifiedRegistered User regular
    can't fart at work

    always when you have to fart the hardest

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Nothing better than a good fart when you are feeling that gassy pressure.

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    Morning farts and after-shower farts are always so loud

  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    Reginald wrote:
    Sometimes I fart in my sleep so loudly that it wakes me up.

    Also, I really enjoy feeling slimmer after a big fartfest. Eat gassy foods for the fart diet.

    farts are more reliable method of waking up than alarms
    every morning at 6 my butt starts but there ain't a snooze button

  • QuantumTurkQuantumTurk Registered User regular
    Farted 3 times reading my way down this page. Feels good.

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    When I was in 6th grade we were taking some standardized test (I think the CTBS) anyway, it was dead silent in the room and I had to fart and it wouldn't take no for an answer so I tried to raise up a butt cheek and get my ass off of the metal chair but the effort of lifting myself squeezed out the fart and the sound ricocheted off of the chair for all to plainly hear.

    It was awesome.

  • WaltWalt Waller Arcane Enchanted Frozen ElectrifiedRegistered User regular
    When I was in 6th grade we were taking some standardized test (I think the CTBS) anyway, it was dead silent in the room and I had to fart and it wouldn't take no for an answer so I tried to raise up a butt cheek and get my ass off of the metal chair but the effort of lifting myself squeezed out the fart and the sound ricocheted off of the chair for all to plainly hear.

    It was awesome.
    i imagine sunglasses gradually descending on you from the sky while everyone turns their heads to look

  • CorporateLogoCorporateLogo The toilet knows how I feelRegistered User regular
    James Joyce thread

    Do not have a cow, mortal.

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  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    now I wish I had to fart

    I haven't farted, in like, hours

  • ArangArang HUEY LEWISRegistered User regular
    James Joyce thread

    :^:

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  • MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    Put a baby in a blender feet first and drink what comes out of the spout while chanting ooh ee ooh ah ah

    Got it from spell for really evil dudes on p 489

  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    unexpected farts that make you choke

    farts even their own creators could not love

  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    try farting in a gym
    no matter how quiet everyone looks at you

  • ReginaldReginald When I am Pres., I will create the Department of ______Registered User regular
    that's wierd because my gym actually has fartercise classes. i'm pretty sure that's what their called, at least. it's what i do in them.

  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    story from my youth

    i was calling a friend from a phone booth (this was a bit before everyone had mobiles, so like 1995?)

    someone was queueing outside

    as i finished the call, i farted and it basically hotboxed the tiny booth with the rankest fart i had ever produced

    i was making frantic signals to the person waiting outside 'dont go in here!'

    he went in, i ran away

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    The one dog here farts all the time. ALL THE TIME. She farts every time she barks, which is kind of funny

    and they are the worst smelling farts

    Any time she farts, the other dog gets up and runs out of the room because he knows how terrible they are

  • ReginaldReginald When I am Pres., I will create the Department of ______Registered User regular
    just checked my gym schedule, and i was wrong. the classes are called "yoga" classes.

  • moocowmoocow Registered User regular
    Jars wrote:
    this seems like a tough thing to adjust to in a relationship no matter what

    do you have to hold your farts in all the time or do both people just cut loose?

    So when my little brother was dating this girl (they were both in their mid/late 20s), he used to go into the bathroom to fart.

    One day they're just hanging out at her place, and he really has to fart all of a sudden, so he gets up and starts walking out of the living room and toward the hall. On his 2nd or 3rd step, a little fart slips out, but is fairly audible.

    He clinched his butt muscles and took another step. Another fart.

    Next step, there was yet another little fart. On his next step/fart, he started laughing, and on the fifth he collapsed to the ground, laughing and farting.
    They are married now.

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    PS4:MrZoompants
  • ArangArang HUEY LEWISRegistered User regular
    Beasteh wrote:
    story from my youth

    i was calling a friend from a phone booth (this was a bit before everyone had mobiles, so like 1995?)

    someone was queueing outside

    as i finished the call, i farted and it basically hotboxed the tiny booth with the rankest fart i had ever produced

    i was making frantic signals to the person waiting outside 'dont go in here!'

    he went in, i ran away

    once I had been ... causing a scene in a public bathroom and was washing my hands

    another guy comes in, opens the stall door, and immediately says, loudly "NOPE"

    and then he walked back out

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This discussion has been closed.