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How to get thicker skin (girlzes)
tuscloud311
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Ok, so yeah...its me again...wow, im like popular here huh? Same girl, go check previous threads by me if you wish to know more...good reads IMO.
Weve been good...real good lately....neither of us have been happier...except...her b-day is coming up. Now, i dont know if i mentioned this in any of my earlier threads, but one of her friends from Alabama (who has never met her before) wanted to buy a plane ticket (300-400 bucks) to see her for a few days. This was back in early February. He bought the ticket without talking to me, and the flight was scheduled for a week later. I come home, and see the flight info that she wrote down, and asked her about it...SURPRISE LOL!
....yeah, surprise. i tell her to tell him to cancel the ticket. No way in hell im going to have that because this is the guy who said he wanted to be with her, and was waiting for us to break up so he can have her....yeah, thats the type of guy this is.
So anyway, he cancels it. i call him up and explain to him why i wanted him to cancel it, so i didnt seem like an asshole. This guy has been her online friend for a while, so i figure, if she goes to him all the time that i should befriend him so that way things are awkward anymore. Maybe then he will notice that im treating her good, and that he wont think that he has a chance with her. Things like that go through my head a lot.
So anyway, we keep going, and like 3 days later, she tells me "by the way, hes going to come down here for my birthday even if he has to sleep outside"
err, wait what? Ok, so i pay all of the bills for my apartment, and this guy wants to come down, spend all of his money (since he lives with parents) on a plane ticket to come see his "friend" who is NOT single just for a few days. and on top of it all, he wants to do it so badly, he will sleep outside?
So again, instead of me being a dick about it...i said...aight, lets try this. Come down on thursday evening. ill take friday off from work, and you can leave monday morning. That way i only miss 1 day of work. So, he said ok, and i said ok...regrettably.
So it was set...or was it? See, since then, her other online friends have been talking to her a lot...which yanno is fine. But this is where my thread title comes into play:
Her friends, plus this guy, seem to hit on her A LOT. now, of course...i mean of-fucking-course...she plays WoW with them ALL DAY and has a very very sexy/cute voice...it will sway any guy to like her. She does not flirt with them, nor give them any sense of "yeah, im single, come fuck me"....but thats not the point....look at the demographic behind WoW...its teenage horny kids. At any rate, i built her a computer so we can both play...her monitor is next to mine...i see what people tell her.
One of her friends said something like "yeah, you wish i was stalking you...mmm.." and she replied "lol shut up". and this Alabama dude said "yeah, id cheat on her, but only for you" on the phone, while it was on speaker phone (oops, busted). Another dude said "i missed talking to you all the time...i can never say bye, i just want to talk to you all night"
see? shit like that gets under my skin, hardcore....and i let it show...which is why she told the Alabama dude to not buy the ticket, AGAIN. i didnt know until today....and then her and i had a discussion about me, her, and other guys...aka her "friends".
i went on to tell her that any friend of mine who was a girl, i never said that kind of shit to...unless they were single. I have a lot of respect for people in relationships, i dont want to fuck a relationship over...ever.
So, my question: how do i not let this shit get to me? Guys hit on her all the time, but i know she doesnt instigate it. She just comes off as one of those girls that everyone wants. How do i shrug it off and ignore it? or...do i?
tl;dr: guys hit on my current girlfriend constantly, and mostly just over the internet. Some try to make it a RL connection. How do i ignore it, or how do i get HER to realize it is making me uncomfortable without being too irrational?
Weve been good...real good lately....neither of us have been happier...except...her b-day is coming up. Now, i dont know if i mentioned this in any of my earlier threads, but one of her friends from Alabama (who has never met her before) wanted to buy a plane ticket (300-400 bucks) to see her for a few days. This was back in early February. He bought the ticket without talking to me, and the flight was scheduled for a week later. I come home, and see the flight info that she wrote down, and asked her about it...SURPRISE LOL!
....yeah, surprise. i tell her to tell him to cancel the ticket. No way in hell im going to have that because this is the guy who said he wanted to be with her, and was waiting for us to break up so he can have her....yeah, thats the type of guy this is.
So anyway, he cancels it. i call him up and explain to him why i wanted him to cancel it, so i didnt seem like an asshole. This guy has been her online friend for a while, so i figure, if she goes to him all the time that i should befriend him so that way things are awkward anymore. Maybe then he will notice that im treating her good, and that he wont think that he has a chance with her. Things like that go through my head a lot.
So anyway, we keep going, and like 3 days later, she tells me "by the way, hes going to come down here for my birthday even if he has to sleep outside"
err, wait what? Ok, so i pay all of the bills for my apartment, and this guy wants to come down, spend all of his money (since he lives with parents) on a plane ticket to come see his "friend" who is NOT single just for a few days. and on top of it all, he wants to do it so badly, he will sleep outside?
So again, instead of me being a dick about it...i said...aight, lets try this. Come down on thursday evening. ill take friday off from work, and you can leave monday morning. That way i only miss 1 day of work. So, he said ok, and i said ok...regrettably.
So it was set...or was it? See, since then, her other online friends have been talking to her a lot...which yanno is fine. But this is where my thread title comes into play:
Her friends, plus this guy, seem to hit on her A LOT. now, of course...i mean of-fucking-course...she plays WoW with them ALL DAY and has a very very sexy/cute voice...it will sway any guy to like her. She does not flirt with them, nor give them any sense of "yeah, im single, come fuck me"....but thats not the point....look at the demographic behind WoW...its teenage horny kids. At any rate, i built her a computer so we can both play...her monitor is next to mine...i see what people tell her.
One of her friends said something like "yeah, you wish i was stalking you...mmm.." and she replied "lol shut up". and this Alabama dude said "yeah, id cheat on her, but only for you" on the phone, while it was on speaker phone (oops, busted). Another dude said "i missed talking to you all the time...i can never say bye, i just want to talk to you all night"
see? shit like that gets under my skin, hardcore....and i let it show...which is why she told the Alabama dude to not buy the ticket, AGAIN. i didnt know until today....and then her and i had a discussion about me, her, and other guys...aka her "friends".
i went on to tell her that any friend of mine who was a girl, i never said that kind of shit to...unless they were single. I have a lot of respect for people in relationships, i dont want to fuck a relationship over...ever.
So, my question: how do i not let this shit get to me? Guys hit on her all the time, but i know she doesnt instigate it. She just comes off as one of those girls that everyone wants. How do i shrug it off and ignore it? or...do i?
tl;dr: guys hit on my current girlfriend constantly, and mostly just over the internet. Some try to make it a RL connection. How do i ignore it, or how do i get HER to realize it is making me uncomfortable without being too irrational?
tuscloud311 on
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The way you should get her to understand that this stuff makes you uncomfortable is by just flat out being honest with her and saying it to her face. Tell her that the things you hear these guys say is not cool with you and they should not be saying these things to a girl with a boyfriend who she lives with.
P.S How did the speeding ticket thing go?
P.P.S. Thanatos is right.
but see, thats the thing is that it is going somewhere....but im not trying to put the focus on that, im putting the focus on me. Is it normal for me to say this kind of stuff, is it normal to feel this, am i over-reacting?
please dont make the focus on her or "us", but moreso on me...this could happen to anyone.
Ah the ticket...yeah, i talked to her Dad...he said he would pay for it, no strings attached. Hes a cool guy it seems.
I'm really amazed that you didn't listen to everyone in the last thread.
We were fine..happy...normal, loving...no problems....then something RETARDED shows itself. and it becomes a problem...i go to you guys, you tell me to bail out of it....then what little help i recieve (advice is different) i take, and we overcome it, and we are happy again...it never comes up again....then again, something dumb...
hey, i could easily sit here and tell you my entire relationship with her, and you guys would see why im still in it, but i come here for problems, not to gloat about my happiness.
1. Break up because she's putting such a strain on the relationship and attempting to get everything she wants, regardless of what it is...and most importantly expects it.
2. Honestly ask her what her expectations are out of your relationship and if she realizes how you feel sleeping near some guy who openly wants to be in a relationship with her, and more importantly that she's so willing to be with him.
3. Let him come. Wait for him to make a move, punch him in the face, grab your crotch, point to her and say "this is mine. now gtfo" She'll probably bone you on the spot for your masculinity. Especially if you draw blood in one shot.
4. Let him come. Deal. Continue with the relationship.
(Edit: How old are both of you?)
She is an emotional leech in the fact that she not only gets attention from you and plays on your emotions by talking with her ex-boyfriend, she also has several guys that she met online that very openly flirt with her. She feeds off of this type of attention it would seem. You tell her it bothers you and yet she does nothing to stop those other guys from doing it. She should care about your feelings more and tell these other dudes to knock that shit off.
Shes also a financial drain on you. She lives with you, rent free, and pays none of the bills and also does not even have a job. You put in all the work in this relationship and she sits back and reaps the rewards.
She may be nice, but the way you are treated in this situation is unfair.
Yes, thats my problem....i want to be with her. She tries, she tries very very hard, and i see it. im not ignorant, i actually see it. I see that she wants to be with me, and i KNOW she is trying to get this uncomfortable...ness....out of me.
Maybe thats why i keep holding on, is because i see her trying and to be honest...most of the time it seems like we actually get somewhere and we move on. never to see it again...learning if you will.
But yeah, she does treat me like im nothing, unintentionally is what im thinking, only because her past relationships were complete crap, and her ex-boyfriend allowed this kind of behavior from her....and look what happened. she hooked up with some dude (me) from an on-line game....
oh, thats another reason why im uncomfortable with it...is because this is the exact way WE became a couple.
There is a good chance (not a certainty, but a pretty good chance) that if she did it to him, she will do it to you. Bear that in mind.
Unofficial PA IRC chat: #paforums at irc.slashnet.org
yup, which is why im on the defense all the time....I shouldnt feel defensive in a relationship, i know.
You say these various guys flirt with her openly, and she does nothing in response except maybe laugh it off. Just by not discouraging that kind of thing, she is in fact encouraging it to occur that much more often. If she's not making it clear that the attention is unwanted, it will continue on, so you're kidding yourself when you say she is trying to make you more comfortable.
I don't know how to make it any clearer to you, but you're getting nothing positive out of this relationship. All she is doing is giving you grief and hurting your financial situation.
The reason that everybody is giving you advice to break up with her is because you have posted what, 3 or 4 major issue threads in the last perhaps 3 months. I would guess that we genuinely wish you happiness and don't think that your continued relationship with this girl is a good idea or even healthy.
Unofficial PA IRC chat: #paforums at irc.slashnet.org
Or did she and you just manage to talk her dad into bailing her out of her own fuckup, so she doesn't have to get a job, and you're still enabling her in her WoW addiction?
scroll up, sir.
In response to 'you wish I was stalking you' all she says is 'lol shut up'?
She is trying to make you jealous.
actually, she has been applying to several jobs, and has asked my dad's GF to get her in...Were fixing her Resume and submitting it by this weekend.
Shes always enjoyed doing other things...when i get home from work, she wants to go do something, go on a date...just her and i. she hates playing on it all day...also, with her lisense suspended..its kind of hard for her to drive around.
Also, i didnt "convince" her dad to pay it...he was going to pay it regardless. he just wanted to see his daughter again. understandable in every way.
But seriously, given your girlfriends history and personality, letting this go down is pretty ridiculous.
She's an attention whore, and not in a good way. I'd even go so far as to say it doesn't sound like she is capable of having a serious relationship if she acts the way you are describing.
Girls that really care about their current relationship don't think other guys flirting with them is cute, funny, or entertaining in any way. Just the fact that you had to tell her to not invite another man to fly out to see her should be a pretty big fucking lightbulb going on in your head right about now.
Get out now. This is not a healthy relationship, and I doubt she is capable of even having one.
You aren't going to grow up and marry and have babies with this girl. She doesn't give 2 shits about you.
Christ man, how could you be so blind. She has absolutely 0 problems with allowing some guy to fly $500 worth of Air Travel just to see her.
This guy could be a felon, a killer, a rapist, a thief, a bitch, a bastard, an HIV patient. God.
My hands are trembling with rage.
Either way this chick is horrible, openly flirting with people to get you jealous and using you for everything else. She must be a damn good prostitute to put up with this much garbage.
pleasepaypreacher.net
I honestly think that nothing's ever gonna get through to this guy. You fellas can keep fighting the good fight but I doubt it'll make any real difference seeing as he's already got three strikes against him.
NEVER HAS ANY INTERNET DISCUSSION HAD THIS MUCH AGREEMENT!
Dont make me get the quotes from the 4 other threads about how psycho chick is screwing you over. Your skin is already way to thick, and this girl is no good. You will do much better without her.
Getting head while playing WoW is not worth this. Honestly, this whole situation is so fucking reatarded I can't believe you are still with her.
Basicallly you are her personal bitch. Look at the thread title for fucks sake "hey how can I learn to deal with the fact every month my girlfirend has another guy she wants to go hang out with when I'm not around"
Seriously let her the fuck go and move on or buy a nice sound system so you can turn it all the way up when she's fucking one of her WoW friends in your bed.
Cut it the fuck loose already.
(Sorry for all the cursing but this whole situation fucking baffles me)
It'd be nice to see those quotes again. Anybody have a link to the thread?
Oh god this is the same guy who's girlfriend FORCED him to pay HER 800 dollar speeding ticket. Oh god
Compromise dude, a relationship should be mutual.
ok....I will try to keep this simple
1. She left her previous boyfriend because she fell in love with your WoW char....(warning signs anybody?)
2. From what I understood she basically moved in with you right away
3. She needs you to support her, she does not have any money.
4. I don't think you have told us anything positive about her personality, except for the fact that she is a good fuck.
5. She keeps on flirting with other guys on WoW and does not see anything wrong with letting a guy that obviously wants to bang her fly over to meet her at YOUR place.
OK, care to imagine what will happen when she meets a guy on WoW who has more money than you and is willing to support her?
Good summary.
Unofficial PA IRC chat: #paforums at irc.slashnet.org
Yes, we realize how frustrating it is. That's why we're all telling you to break up with her. If you two were "fine" you wouldn't have something like this happening at least once a month. Haven't you noticed how incredibly receptive she is to the advances from guys she meets on WoW? That's how you hooked up with her, and she's still acting exactly the same way with every new guy that comes along. She knows that they want in her pants and she knows that it bothers you, but she still encourages them to fly down and spend the night. Reality check: she doesn't care how this makes you feel because she is selfish and is just taking advantage of you for financial and emotional support. If she hasn't already cheated on you with her ex or one of these guys, she's going to eventually.
If she was trying very hard she wouldn't have gone behind your back to tell this guy to come visit her. She doesn't want you to break up with her because you're paying her every expense while she sits at home and plays WoW all day long. I'm not saying she doesn't like you, but it's obvious that she doesn't respect your feelings in the slightest, and you really are the only one here that can't see that.
Incidentally, you also allow this kind of behavior from her. Time to put two and two together.
In summary: You are in an unbelievably unhealthy relationship and you need to end it. Now. She treats you like shit, she feeds on the attention from guys on WoW and encourages them to come visit against your will, and she is a constant emotional and financial drain on you. She is a leech and you are better off without her.
You're paying for everything, goddamnit! Sell her rig, tell her to go home to her dad.
I dunno if relationships are like, new territory for you or something, but this shit is not worth it. You're "loving" and whatnot now and then, sure, but she is sedentary as all hell, and that relationship is gonna get old soon. Get rid of it while you still have money to enjoy it.
He is going to have sex with your girlfriend. That's the only reason he's coming out, and not only does she know this, they've likely already discussed it.
Seriously, BREAK UP WITH HER. She is going to continue taking as much advantage of you as she can for as long as she can.
There are other women out there who won't treat you this way, and you do *NOT* need to stick with this bitch until you run into one.
fuck....life...
man, my next thread will be 3-4 pages long too, about depression....
I'm going to say this as simply as I can.
IT'S BECAUSE OF HER THAT YOU FEEL THIS WAY.
just like all women are psycho....some just show it more than others.
its all about who is right for who, what clicks and what doesnt....we dont click, i fucking realize it.
its fucking stressful as all fuck knowing that i can come home every day and not worry about this shit, because were all laughing and having a fucking wonderful time...
but then something bad happens, i think of PA H/A, and i say "oops sorry! breaking up with you!"
every time im with her, i dont feel miserable, i dont feel depressed, and im just happy being around her....evidentally thats not good enough. Its when im away from her, when i think about the stupid shit that she puts me in, the fucked up situations that im thrown into....that makes me post on these forums.
ugh, just shoot me already, this is fucking weak
I know it sucks but don't take it too hard.
We don't tell you all this to hurt your feelings, in the end you will end up feeling a lot better.