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GR_Zombie
Krillin ItRegistered User regular
Krillin ItRegistered User regular
Okay, I need some advice on how to proceed here.
So here’s the situation: I was in a relationship with a girl for about two years, until she broke it off last October because she felt that I had no ambition and she didn’t think we had much of a future together. She was totally right, I didn’t have a job, had no plans for my major beyond a vague idea of what I thought I wanted to do, taking a couple college courses but not with any real focus, etc. Her leaving me was a serious wake-up call, and it caused me to seriously look at my situation. I’ve since gotten a job, figured out what my major will be and am currently taking courses in pursuit of it, and am making plans to move out of my mom’s place as soon as I’m financially stable enough to do so.
On Christmas Eve I decided that I would give her the gift that would have originally been for our anniversary. I took it over to her place, and she seemed really happy to see me, all smiles and the like. I asked her if we could talk sometime, that I wanted to try and patch things up, but if that wasn’t possible I still wanted to talk to her so I could get some things off my chest and get some closure. She seemed happy when I talked about getting back together, and said she’d let me know when we could talk. I told her what days I’d be free and we said goodbye. It’s been just over a month and I still haven’t heard from her, but there was New Years and school starting back up again so she’s probably been busy.
So here’s where I need some advice, I was thinking about calling her up and asking if she wanted to see a movie or something, but I’m not sure if I should do that or wait for her to get back to me. I don’t want to pressure her, and I realize that even with the changes I’ve made it might not make any difference, I just need to know I tried. I won’t go into emotional stuff that no one outside a relationship cares about, but I really felt like she and I were great together, and I don’t want to just give up and wonder about what could have been.
TL;DR My ex said we could talk about getting back together, should I wait on her or make the first move?
So here’s the situation: I was in a relationship with a girl for about two years, until she broke it off last October because she felt that I had no ambition and she didn’t think we had much of a future together. She was totally right, I didn’t have a job, had no plans for my major beyond a vague idea of what I thought I wanted to do, taking a couple college courses but not with any real focus, etc. Her leaving me was a serious wake-up call, and it caused me to seriously look at my situation. I’ve since gotten a job, figured out what my major will be and am currently taking courses in pursuit of it, and am making plans to move out of my mom’s place as soon as I’m financially stable enough to do so.
On Christmas Eve I decided that I would give her the gift that would have originally been for our anniversary. I took it over to her place, and she seemed really happy to see me, all smiles and the like. I asked her if we could talk sometime, that I wanted to try and patch things up, but if that wasn’t possible I still wanted to talk to her so I could get some things off my chest and get some closure. She seemed happy when I talked about getting back together, and said she’d let me know when we could talk. I told her what days I’d be free and we said goodbye. It’s been just over a month and I still haven’t heard from her, but there was New Years and school starting back up again so she’s probably been busy.
So here’s where I need some advice, I was thinking about calling her up and asking if she wanted to see a movie or something, but I’m not sure if I should do that or wait for her to get back to me. I don’t want to pressure her, and I realize that even with the changes I’ve made it might not make any difference, I just need to know I tried. I won’t go into emotional stuff that no one outside a relationship cares about, but I really felt like she and I were great together, and I don’t want to just give up and wonder about what could have been.
TL;DR My ex said we could talk about getting back together, should I wait on her or make the first move?
GR_Zombie on
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But honestly, it doesn't sound like she's interested. She might be preoccupied with something else, but I wouldn't bet on it.
but they're listening to every word I say
I've seen it so many times, from both sexes, unanswered texts and calls and voice messages. 2 unaswered is bad, 3+ is pathetic. So if you call her that one time and she doesn't answer leave a message don't hang up without leaving a message and then start wondering if you should call back and leave a message THIS time because your one call is over, no more.
If she can't be bother then she doesn't care about having a relationship with you, and you know what? That's probably her loss. Instead prove to yourself how wrong she was about you and keep in shape, eat healthy, stay motivated and go a find a better looking girl out there who will treat you better and will make you happier.
Many young people think they can't possibly be happier than they were with _______, but that's not true, love is pretty common believe it or not.
I'd move on. Skip the call.
It sounds like you're on the way to shaping up, but not quite there yet. She'll respect the improvement but in all likely hood not be into you unless you have already graduated and gotten a job.
Think really hard about the last time you saw her. Was she genuinely interested in what was going on or polite? If she was polite then you don't have a chance.
If I were you I'd fancifully play with the idea of showing back up in a year or two with an awesome car and some sweet clothes. Take her to a nice dinner and then drop her off at her place, drive off before she gets to the door and never call her/respond to her calls or text messages. That would be childish though.
FWIW, while people are different, I strongly recommend keeping cordial (where practical) but serious distance from ex's until a lot of time has passed. In both my experience and observation, until you are far apart from each other, and long enough away from each other to be building something new you'll almost always end up in old patterns.
Gotr of Vatik
Scholar by day, rogue by night.
"If all I ever got was one shot, I'd still never blame fate."