Guamanian Old Party [Republican Primary]

moniker

With Santorum winning all 3 nonbinding contests over Romney it's on to Guam! And probably a lot of crazy Punditry between now and the end of the month leading to a lot of happy fun times for the Democrats.

Now I'm gonna steal the old OP because it's late and I'm lazy.

PantsB wrote:

The Candidates
Romney
Mitt "Mittens" Romney

Bio: Mormon, former Gov of Massachusetts
Strength: its his turn, front runner, "electable", inevitable victory, "won" Iowa, won NH
Weaknesses: Mormon, former Gov of Massachusetts land of gays and universal healthcare, lack of charisma, unpopular with the base


The Not Romneys Each had a turn as front runner, can they do it again?
Newt Gingrich

Bio: Former Speaker of the House, book tourer
Strengths: Conservative, Not-Romney, old white guy from the South, Mad-as-Hell, Newt-mentum
Weaknesses: Hasn't held office for over a decade, really old, leaves wives because she got cancer and/or MS, dickishness seeps through

Ron Paul

Bio: Perpetual candidate for President, Representative from Texas
Strength: Legion of fanatical supporters, unique viewpoint
Weakness: Views that both Democrats and Republicans find insane, desire to descend into anarchy, really old, racist or racist adjacent

Rick Santorum

Bio: Former Senator from Pennsylvania
Strength: Evangelicalmight-as-well-be-Evangelical-brand-of-Catholic Hard Right Conservative, won Iowa
Weakness: Lack of charisma, name means an unpleasant byproduct of anal sex

[/spoiler]The Calendar

January 21, 2012 South Carolina (primary)
January 31, 2012 Florida (primary)
February 4, 2012 Nevada (caucus)
February 4–11, 2012 Maine (caucus)

February 7, 2012
Colorado (caucus)
Minnesota (caucus)

February 28, 2012
Arizona (primary)
Michigan (primary)

March 3, 2012 Washington (caucus)

March 6, 2012
(Super Tuesday) Alaska (caucus)
Georgia (primary)
Idaho (caucus)
Massachusetts (primary)
North Dakota (caucus)
Ohio (primary)
Oklahoma (primary)
Tennessee (primary)
Vermont (primary)
Virginia (primary)

The Polls:

Harry Dresden

How does the thing in Guam work? It isn't technically a American state, is it?

Caveman Paws

Harry Dresden wrote:

How does the thing in Guam work? It isn't technically a American state, is it?

'cism.

I actually had the exact same reaction when I read "Guam" so, how does that work?

moniker

It's a caucus for 9 unbound delegates.

And they're an unincorporated territory roughly 1/4 the population of Wyoming. Meaning they'll probably get statehood before DC.

enlightenedbum

It's a territory and it gets delegates to the convention. They vote, they're allocated, etc.

Gosling

I come home to WHAT?!

Oh, wow. Every time Romney thinks he can drop the primary fight and move on to attacking Obama directly, this happens. This is hilarious.

Rchanen

Hell I just want to know what to call em. Guammy Bears. Gaumbats? The Gaumish?

God I loved the Critic. Great show.

Quid

I can say with certainty that Guam now has good beer.

Taramoor

Rchanen wrote:

Hell I just want to know what to call em. Guammy Bears. Gaumbats? The Gaumish?

God I loved the Critic. Great show.

I actually came in here to post this exact line.

moniker

Gosling wrote:

I come home to WHAT?!

Oh, wow. Every time Romney thinks he can drop the primary fight and move on to attacking Obama directly, this happens. This is hilarious.

Right? And they have nothing to talk about until the next 'real' contest 3 weeks away. At least everyone'll have time to rearrange the podiums again.

Quid

Nationality is Guamanian.

Locals are Chomorrans.

enlightenedbum

So, I'm a citizen of the next state to go. Michigan was, last I checked, an open primary. What to do, what to do.

archivistkitsune

The funny thing is there won't be a repeat of what happened with Iowa since there is a big enough gap between the two that a recount isn't going to change the outcome. So now Santorum, the guy that most of us have written off has won more states than the inevitable Mitt Romney. Now granted they aren't binding wins but that hardly matters since logic seems to be the equivalent of kryptonite for the current GOP.

moniker

enlightenedbum wrote:

So, I'm a citizen of the next state to go. Michigan was, last I checked, an open primary. What to do, what to do.

Move to Chicago.

Harry Dresden

moniker wrote:

enlightenedbum wrote:

So, I'm a citizen of the next state to go. Michigan was, last I checked, an open primary. What to do, what to do.

Move to Chicago.

MetroidZoid

So what are the chances, because there has got to be media talk about this, that we'll get a soundbite from Romney saying "<Insert State> doesn't matter ....". Which I'm sure wouldn't be used in general election ads at all

enlightenedbum

moniker wrote:

enlightenedbum wrote:

So, I'm a citizen of the next state to go. Michigan was, last I checked, an open primary. What to do, what to do.

Move to Chicago.

Working on it. But doubt it's going to happen in the next 20 days.

enlightenedbum

MetroidZoid wrote:

So what are the chances, because there has got to be media talk about this, that we'll get a soundbite from Romney saying "<Insert State> doesn't matter ....". Which I'm sure wouldn't be used in general election ads at all

He already said Minnesota and Missouri didn't matter.

MetroidZoid

"Missouri doesn't matter ..."
"I don't care about the poor ..."

You choose ... poorly, Mittens.

Pi-r8

R's write off abysmal turnouts by saying anti-Obama sentiment will drive GOP turnout in fall. Doesn't say a lot for their candidates.
— @davidaxelrod

Man, David Axelrod is a beast on twitter

ahava

ahhh. what a fun thing to watch.

DoctorArch

I admit, I have been giggling about the results all night.

Drakeon

I can't believe how hilarious this primary is ending up. I bet Tim Pawlenty has to be so pissed that he decided to drop out so early. He would of had to get his turn just like everybody else.

enlightenedbum

You'd hope he could at least have beaten Rick motherfucking Santorum in his home state.

Harry Dresden

Drakeon wrote:

I can't believe how hilarious this primary is ending up. I bet Tim Pawlenty has to be so pissed that he decided to drop out so early. He would of had to get his turn just like everybody else.

He'd be wrong. The Not-Romney's have personality & charisma, he doesn't.

Drakeon

Harry Dresden wrote:

Drakeon wrote:

I can't believe how hilarious this primary is ending up. I bet Tim Pawlenty has to be so pissed that he decided to drop out so early. He would of had to get his turn just like everybody else.

He'd be wrong. The Not-Romney's have personality & charisma, he doesn't.

No way does Santorum gain traction and Pawlenty have no chance of it. I'm not saying he'd win, but he would have at least led at one point or another just like literally every other candidate in the field.

Harry Dresden

Drakeon wrote:

No way does Santorum gain traction and Pawlenty have no chance of it. I'm not saying he'd win, but he would have at least led at one point or another just like literally every other candidate in the field.

Santorum has his "good*" qualities. He's fairly charismatic, has a personality that brings out devoted followers to his cause & does well in debates. Whenever I've seen Pawlenty on tv he's had none of these qualities. That's why Santorum succeeds while Pawlenty fails.

* not sure what else to call them

Pi-r8

I still remember the Daily Show's quote: "Rick Santorum lost to the guy who lost so badly that he dropped out of the race!" (Pawlenty after the Ames straw poll)

Henroid

What's the difference between "Primary" and "Caucus" for the state voting?

enlightenedbum

Henroid wrote:

What's the difference between "Primary" and "Caucus" for the state voting?

Primaries are an election like any other election. Caucuses are weird. They're basically open meetings where everyone groups together for whichever candidate they support, then those groups nominate someone to speak on behalf of their candidate, at which point people can change their support. So no secret ballot, no real votes. The biggest difference is probably that they're much, much smaller and activist dominated. Which is how Obama dominated them all four years ago, and why Ron Paul thought he could do well in them this year (to be fair, he's crept up near 20% in some of them).

Henroid

Wow. Uh, caucuses sound really easy to sabotage.

GoodOmens

You mean by basically yelling really loudly with a mix of populism, scorn and assholery? Yeah, pretty much. Remember that caucuses are largely composed of the hard-line supporters. Romney isn't going to do well in caucuses because, well, nobody's really that excited about him. Nobody sees Romney as the vision of a better tomorrow.

Think of caucus goers as the people who post reviews on Amazon.com. The people who absolutely loved the book are going to rate it a 5, there are people who rate a 1 but most of the time that seems to be because they're pissed it's on on Kindle. The people who sort of like it, who would rate the book a 3, can't be arsed to actually do it. The people at the caucuses want to rate their candidate a 5 no matter what.

dbrock270

Could it be?

Rick Santorum taking the nomination from behind and facing Obama when the general election comes around.

MyDcmbr

dbrock270 wrote:

Could it be?

Rick Santorum taking the nomination from behind and facing Obama when the general election comes around.

Haha.

No.

Harry Dresden

dbrock270 wrote:

Could it be?

Rick Santorum taking the nomination from behind and facing Obama when the general election comes around.

Hahaha no. He's not that lucky.

OremLK

I wish Santorum would steal the nomination, even though it won't happen. A landslide Obama victory over a complete loon might be just what the GOP needs to wake the fuck up. Romney might make a respectable showing at the same time as giving Republicans more ammo to move farther right when he inevitably loses.

Kana

Oh, and to finish up his great night someone also threw glitter on him.
Except glitterbombing doesn't work so well now that it's later in the season and he's got secret service protection.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPKHW6IlRHs

Atomika

Yeah, part of me would love to see Rick get the nom and get Mondaled into oblivion.

But another part of me worries about what would happen if that didn't.


Regardless, Rick is THE conservative candidate, and the core would have to work really, really, hard to dig up somebody less-electable/more-right-leaning than him.

Like, after him, they're looking for a born-again Klansman who was homeschooled and lost every election he ran in.

Absalon

Wasn't Frothy quite recently polling about as well against Obama as Rmoney?

Kana

OremLK wrote:

I wish Santorum would steal the nomination, even though it won't happen. A landslide Obama victory over a complete loon might be just what the GOP needs to wake the fuck up. Romney might make a respectable showing at the same time as giving Republicans more ammo to move farther right when he inevitably loses.

The thing with the GOP right now is it's turning into such a regional party. A lot of the moderate Repub's got voted out during Bush's term, and a lot of the republicans who've come in have been much farther right-wing, but with more dependably right-wing constituencies. Thanks to that they can stay competitive in congress for a long time, but it'll be interesting to see what finally pushes the R's into moving back to moderation. Individual republicans right now just don't have much reason to go moderate, but the party as a whole needs it for the national campaigns.

Toldo

"Surge Colors Midwest [COLOR] as Santorum Sweeps Three States"

Let's get some good headlines up in dis bizzatch.