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Unlikely Personal Injuries
RenaissanceDan
(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)Wentzville, MORegistered User regular
(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)Wentzville, MORegistered User regular
I've had a rash of personal injuries in the last couple of months that make me feel like I'm in some sort of milder form of Final Destination. I though it would be interesting to see what other incidents of exquisite, unlikely pain others have had. Most recent one for me:
I work setup at a catering hall. Recently I bought new headphones for my iPod. Everything goes fine as I am listening to my podcasts and setting up tables/chairs. Then comes time to throw the linens. As I shake out the first table cloth, all of the static electricity from the heavy, tightly folded cloth explodes between my inner ear and ear buds. My knees buckle, and I madly yank the buds from my hears, and can only hear a terrifying hissing which gradually fades. I feel the blood rush to my ears, my equilibrium goes haywire, and I lose consciousness for about 30 minutes on the floor. When I come to, I dab fingers in my ears to check for blood (felt like there was, but none actually showed up), and talk out loud to myself and bang on tables to see if I can hear anything. Aside from a splitting headache and a fear of my headphones, I am completely fine.
I work setup at a catering hall. Recently I bought new headphones for my iPod. Everything goes fine as I am listening to my podcasts and setting up tables/chairs. Then comes time to throw the linens. As I shake out the first table cloth, all of the static electricity from the heavy, tightly folded cloth explodes between my inner ear and ear buds. My knees buckle, and I madly yank the buds from my hears, and can only hear a terrifying hissing which gradually fades. I feel the blood rush to my ears, my equilibrium goes haywire, and I lose consciousness for about 30 minutes on the floor. When I come to, I dab fingers in my ears to check for blood (felt like there was, but none actually showed up), and talk out loud to myself and bang on tables to see if I can hear anything. Aside from a splitting headache and a fear of my headphones, I am completely fine.
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we also talk about other random shit and clown upon each other
whoops.gif
Hurt like a motherfucker. Threw some Neosporin and a Band-aid on it after stifling the bleeding long enough.
Whelp, my mandolin's going in the trash now...
I have yet to find something so sour I have to spit it out.
I've got a parabolic scar on the inside of my left palm from using one of those. Sheared a 2"x1"x1/16" flap into it slicing tomatoes. Stitched up and healed cleanly. Was an awful mess.
Use the guards, people!
Fuck rugs
I grated the skin off my knuckle when grating cheese the other day
Yeah, I was slicing a cucumber that was too long for the guard and so I figured I'd slice it up about halfway and then use the guard because hey, my hand is like half a foot away from that blade.
whoooooooops
Was using the guard, had about 5 pounds of tomatoes to slice (the hall I work at does outside box lunch jobs) so I was getting through them fairly quickly, till one of the tomatoes stuck, the guard stayed in the tomato, my hand went off on its own.
Shag carpets
I'd rather watch a daily beagle yawn.
WHY, I DO BELIEVE I WOULD, TOO!
AND CLICK ON THE ADS AS WELL!!
IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING I EVER HOPED FOR
I sliced my hand on a can of tuna then a month later...I did it again.
heh
An hour
oh no not that
it takes like, a minimum of 2 hours to weedwack here
3 hours for the mowing
I HATE THE COUNTRY
Oh, you mean The Ginger God.
I make Matthew McConaughey and LL Cool J jealous
Or that it takes us a mere hour to maintain our paltry properties.
the worst superpower
Also I apparently have a tear in the labrum of my right shoulder. No sports or anything, if I had to list anything as the cause, it's probably "MMOs" and the repetitive motions surrounding that.
The saddest injuries.
I take it the blood didn't start, like, melting cement or anything cool?
ooo one time i threw up when i had the flu and was sitting on the toilet and i puked so hard that i knocked myself off the toilet and ruptured some blood vessels in my throat