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Unlikely Personal Injuries

RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
edited February 2012 in Singularity Engine++
I've had a rash of personal injuries in the last couple of months that make me feel like I'm in some sort of milder form of Final Destination. I though it would be interesting to see what other incidents of exquisite, unlikely pain others have had. Most recent one for me:

I work setup at a catering hall. Recently I bought new headphones for my iPod. Everything goes fine as I am listening to my podcasts and setting up tables/chairs. Then comes time to throw the linens. As I shake out the first table cloth, all of the static electricity from the heavy, tightly folded cloth explodes between my inner ear and ear buds. My knees buckle, and I madly yank the buds from my hears, and can only hear a terrifying hissing which gradually fades. I feel the blood rush to my ears, my equilibrium goes haywire, and I lose consciousness for about 30 minutes on the floor. When I come to, I dab fingers in my ears to check for blood (felt like there was, but none actually showed up), and talk out loud to myself and bang on tables to see if I can hear anything. Aside from a splitting headache and a fear of my headphones, I am completely fine.

RenaissanceDan on
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Posts

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    One time I ate too much captain crunch and it made my mouth feel like it was made out of sausage casings

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    You see lots of things, out there in the swamp at night. Some of them might even be real. But the Bugboy? That's just plain impossible.
  • JasconiusJasconius sword criminal mad onlineRegistered User regular
    i burn my mouth on pizza at least three times a year

    Try EVE Online with my referral code, and I'll like you a little bit: https://www.eveonline.com/signup/?invc=86622db9-a6f9-41e8-b846-c305f625b55b
  • msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    Working on a plastic model a while back and trimming some sprues with an Xacto blade. The part is pretty small so I've got it close to my fingers trying to get that damn sprue (rageeeee). Blade slips and digs itself approximately 1/16" away from my index finger's nail bed.

    whoops.gif

    Hurt like a motherfucker. Threw some Neosporin and a Band-aid on it after stifling the bleeding long enough.

  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I nicked off a little bit of the tip of my finger and nail when using a mandolin slicer.

    zappsigsm.jpg
    Amazon wish list | Please check out my wife's blog and jewelry store.
  • msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    I nicked off a little bit of the tip of my finger and nail when using a mandolin slicer.

    Whelp, my mandolin's going in the trash now...

  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    this girl twisted my neck the other day, I'm still not even sure how

    ikbUJdU.jpg
    Twitter Steam Playstation- Mechaphiliac
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    I like sour things so much that eventually my tongue and roof of my mouth start bleeding and I have to stop.

    I have yet to find something so sour I have to spit it out.

  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    The Geek wrote: »
    I nicked off a little bit of the tip of my finger and nail when using a mandolin slicer.

    I've got a parabolic scar on the inside of my left palm from using one of those. Sheared a 2"x1"x1/16" flap into it slicing tomatoes. Stitched up and healed cleanly. Was an awful mess.

  • msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    AUGH

    Use the guards, people!

    msuitepyon on
  • KadithKadith Registered User regular
    i guess this rug burn on my dick isn't exactly unlikely is it?

    zkHcp.jpg
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    i guess i cut my nails too short? anyway yesterday when i was digging into an orange to peel it i opened up the tiniest of cuts on my thumb, and all that juicy goodness from the orange burned like a motherfucker and i am just wondering how did this happen

    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    Kadith wrote:
    i guess this rug burn on my dick isn't exactly unlikely is it?

    Fuck rugs

  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    I nicked off a little bit of the tip of my finger and nail when using a mandolin slicer.

    I grated the skin off my knuckle when grating cheese the other day :(

    sig.jpg
  • unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    :winky:

  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    I've machine sewed my fingers twice, I don't recommend it

  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    msuitepyon wrote: »
    AUGH

    Use the guards, people!

    Yeah, I was slicing a cucumber that was too long for the guard and so I figured I'd slice it up about halfway and then use the guard because hey, my hand is like half a foot away from that blade.

    whoooooooops

    zappsigsm.jpg
    Amazon wish list | Please check out my wife's blog and jewelry store.
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Seriously, use the guards on your mandolin slicer and take your time. Remember, a trip to the hospital will take more time than slowing down while slicing your veggies.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    Seriously, use the guards on your mandolin slicer and take your time. Remember, a trip to the hospital will take more time than slowing down while slicing your veggies.

    Was using the guard, had about 5 pounds of tomatoes to slice (the hall I work at does outside box lunch jobs) so I was getting through them fairly quickly, till one of the tomatoes stuck, the guard stayed in the tomato, my hand went off on its own.

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread Registered User regular
    Kadith wrote:
    i guess this rug burn on my dick isn't exactly unlikely is it?

    Fuck rugs

    Shag carpets

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    My mandolin slicer has a ceramic blade...not going to lie, it scares the shit out of me.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    To get away from Mandolins, I live in the basement of a duplex. My room mate used to leave the mail on the top step. He doesn't anymore because last month I ended up surfing a magazine down the stairs and through the drywall at the bottom. If it had been filmed, I'd be a youtube sensation.

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    To get away from Mandolins, I live in the basement of a duplex. My room mate used to leave the mail on the top step. He doesn't anymore because last month I ended up surfing a magazine down the stairs and through the drywall at the bottom. If it had been filmed, I'd be a youtube sensation.

    I'd rather watch a daily beagle yawn.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread Registered User regular
    To get away from Mandolins, I live in the basement of a duplex. My room mate used to leave the mail on the top step. He doesn't anymore because last month I ended up surfing a magazine down the stairs and through the drywall at the bottom. If it had been filmed, I'd be a youtube sensation.

    I'd rather watch a daily beagle yawn.

    WHY, I DO BELIEVE I WOULD, TOO!

    AND CLICK ON THE ADS AS WELL!!

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    PSN: ThatDaveFella
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Keith wrote: »
    To get away from Mandolins, I live in the basement of a duplex. My room mate used to leave the mail on the top step. He doesn't anymore because last month I ended up surfing a magazine down the stairs and through the drywall at the bottom. If it had been filmed, I'd be a youtube sensation.

    I'd rather watch a daily beagle yawn.

    WHY, I DO BELIEVE I WOULD, TOO!

    AND CLICK ON THE ADS AS WELL!!

    IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING I EVER HOPED FOR

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I once put my hand on a hot iron as a child.

    I sliced my hand on a can of tuna then a month later...I did it again.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
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    I weed whacked the yard for an hour two days ago and now my entire body is yelling at me.

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread Registered User regular
    VoproSTEIN wrote: »
    I weed whacked the yard for an hour two days ago and now my entire body is yelling at me.

    heh

    An hour

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    I'm not in shape!

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Keith forgets that we aren't all chiseled and ripped like he is.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread Registered User regular
    VoproSTEIN wrote: »
    I'm not in shape!

    oh no not that

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    3 hours for the mowing

    I HATE THE COUNTRY

  • MorivethMoriveth Just my luck! There's a phone between these rocks! Registered User regular
    Keith?

    Oh, you mean The Ginger God.

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread Registered User regular
    Keith forgets that we aren't all chiseled and ripped like he is.

    I make Matthew McConaughey and LL Cool J jealous

  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    Keith forgets that we aren't all chiseled and ripped like he is.

    Or that it takes us a mere hour to maintain our paltry properties.

  • ArangArang Registered User regular
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    the worst superpower

    thenews.jpg
  • thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
    i was jamming forks into the silverware holder and a fork jammed me back

    campionthorgotsig.jpg
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    I have a big ~3 inch scar on my finger from a cat's claws. I cannot tell a war story about this one.

    Also I apparently have a tear in the labrum of my right shoulder. No sports or anything, if I had to list anything as the cause, it's probably "MMOs" and the repetitive motions surrounding that.

    The saddest injuries.

    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    Arang wrote: »
    one time I coughed so hard that I puked and a bunch of blood vessels in my face burst

    the worst superpower

    I take it the blood didn't start, like, melting cement or anything cool?

  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    Arang wrote: »
    one time I coughed so hard that I puked and a bunch of blood vessels in my face burst

    the worst superpower

    ooo one time i threw up when i had the flu and was sitting on the toilet and i puked so hard that i knocked myself off the toilet and ruptured some blood vessels in my throat

    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
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