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Unlikely Personal Injuries

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    ArangArang HUEY LEWISRegistered User regular
    Arang wrote: »
    one time I coughed so hard that I puked and a bunch of blood vessels in my face burst

    the worst superpower

    I take it the blood didn't start, like, melting cement or anything cool?

    well, it looked like I had a rash

    thenews.jpg
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    VoproSTEINVoproSTEIN howdyRegistered User regular
    This other time I was opening dog food and cut myself about 1 cm deep into my finger. It's a pretty wicked scar now.

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    premiumpremium Registered User regular
    This one time I sneezed really hard and my face jerked forward and somehow hit the bathroom sink and now half my front left tooth is fake.

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I fell asleep on the bus once and my head hit the little divider where you can crack the window

    I have a little scar near my eyebrow now!

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    RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan ‎(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Wentzville, MORegistered User regular
    My grandma got me a bike that was way too small for me for my 12th birthday, saying she saw a bunch of older kids doing tricks on bikes like them (I assume she meant, like, trick BMX bikes... which this was not). Anyhow, I was told by my dad to go try it out, so I did. Ended up going down a hill I couldn't clearly see the bottom of. Bottom of said hill was filled with potholes. Went through the field of them, hit an especially nasty one, fell over the guard rail into a stony creek bed, wandered back to one of her neighbors severely concussed.

    When we went back a couple days later to find the bike, the front tire looked pac man, and my discarded helmet was split in half.

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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    I nicked off a little bit of the tip of my finger and nail when using a mandolin slicer.

    USE A HAND GUARD

    It's like you people don't watch Good Eats or something

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    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    safety guards are for fascists

    i won't have the nanny state telling me where i can and can't put my extremities

    zkHcp.jpg
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    premiumpremium Registered User regular
    Oh also when I was a kid I was playing by a creek and found a cool snake and picked it up. We were best buds for about 5 minutes before it broke my heart by leaving me with a half inch scar on my finger that still has not gone away 15+ years later.

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    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    Kadith wrote:
    i guess this rug burn on my dick isn't exactly unlikely is it?

    Fuck rugs
    That's the idea.

    Yes.

    zkHcp.jpg
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    ArangArang HUEY LEWISRegistered User regular
    My grandma got me a bike that was way too small for me for my 12th birthday, saying she saw a bunch of older kids doing tricks on bikes like them (I assume she meant, like, trick BMX bikes... which this was not). Anyhow, I was told by my dad to go try it out, so I did. Ended up going down a hill I couldn't clearly see the bottom of. Bottom of said hill was filled with potholes. Went through the field of them, hit an especially nasty one, fell over the guard rail into a stony creek bed, wandered back to one of her neighbors severely concussed.

    When we went back a couple days later to find the bike, the front tire looked pac man, and my discarded helmet was split in half.

    one time I went into a pothole because it didn't look so bad, except the shock of the impact made me slam the front brake dead shut, so I did a front flip over the handlebars and landed all curled up under the bike, a heavy-ass backpack and a three-man tent with spikes

    somehow I avoided permanent injury (helmets were for sissies), but I was so smooshed up I needed help to untangle myself and stand up

    thenews.jpg
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    Yes I know you guys used hand guards

    I just like yelling

    Use kevlar gloves

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    NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    I smashed the nail of my right ring finger into the edge of my metal bed frame in college playing Wii Tennis the week it came out with a bunch of friends. Whacked it so bad it started bleeding under the nail and the finger tip got swollen and hurt like a mfer, had to get the nail lanced to drain the blood and it eventually fell off and a new one grew in
    I lost that round of tennis, btw

    Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | Wish List
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    Iron WeaselIron Weasel Dillon! You son of a bitch!Registered User regular
    When I was young, my dad came home early from work one day. He had some stuff in the trunk and asked me to help him bring it inside – I got a big ol’ can of beans to carry. I ran into the garage, carrying that can of beans and shouting “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!”

    Then I tripped on a garden hose and fell face-first to the ground. The raised rim of the can I was carrying cut a gouge right above my eye. When my mom came into the garage to see what was going on, I was lying on our chest freezer screaming, while my father tried to staunch the flow of blood from my head wound with his handkerchief. I ended up going to the hospital for stitches, and still have a scar above my eye.


    Also, during the winter the city would erect a 30-foot slide in the park near my house, and kids could use inner tubes or crazy carpets to slide down. On this particular occassion, some of the older kids had built up a 'bump' of snow at the bottom of the slide - the idea was that you'd hit the bump and go flying through the air. On my last run of the day, I hit the bump, went straight up into the air, flipped over and crashed back down to earth, breaking my collar bone.


    In the fifth grade, I got into a fistfight with another student over something I can't remember but which was probably very stupid. The fight ended when I socked the other guy in the side of the head. He wound up with a concussion, and I fractured two knuckles in my left hand and had to wear a cast for a few weeks thereafter.

    Currently Playing:
    The Division, Warframe (XB1)
    GT: Tanith 6227
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    The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    There are about forty shards of carbon fibre still in my thigh from where I was shot with an all carbon arrow. Unlike composites or the alloy ones, the x10s shatter when they hit something hard, like my femur for example. Fortunately it wasn't shot from a compound, or it would have gone all the way through and probably killed me dead.

    All the way to the hospital I was screaming at the paramedics to take a photo. I'm lying on the gurney with an arrow sticking out of my leg, but it's not coming out the other side because it has disintegrated inside my muscle. There was blood everywhere. It was pretty hilarious.

    It's also weird because my skin is allergic to the kind of latex gloves that paramedics use. The thicker ones for use in the field. So I turned up at the hospital with an arrow sticking out of me, jeans with one leg cut off. No pants. And these big red hand-prints all over my body. There's one photo of the whole ordeal but I'm not posting it because you can see my genitals.


    Oh, and then there's the time that I tripped and fell face first onto an open tin of paint. The only lasting scars are two horizontal ones about three centimetres long below my eyes. But nowadays they blend into the huge bags from not enough sleep. Have you ever had two black eyes at the same time? It's not fun, I couldn't open them at all for about a day so was completely blind.


    And then there's the time that I was offered peanut M&Ms on a transatlantic flight to Chicago O'Hare. That was when I first learned that I was deathly allergic to peanuts and the plane had to make an emergency landing in Greenland because I went into a coma from asphyxiation. I woke up two days later on a military base with a hole on my neck from a tracheotomy. That wasn't fun either.

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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    every few months I go to bed as normal and wake up with a cut on my eyelid

    like a papercut

    0BnD8l3.gif
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    unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    Dichotomy wrote:
    every few months I go to bed as normal and wake up with a cut on my eyelid

    like a papercut

    It's that cat

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    JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Oh my god, Scarab

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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Sheri wrote: »
    Yes I know you guys used hand guards

    I just like yelling

    Use kevlar gloves

    Fuck gloves. The risk of mauling myself is the price I pay for creating delicious things and also motivation to use good knife skills to reduce that risk.

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
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    JansonJanson Registered User regular
    I have three scars on my hand from knives having been left in the washing up bowl to soak and me plunging my hand in there a few hours later

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    NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    every few months I go to bed as normal and wake up with a cut on my eyelid

    like a papercut

    i'mnotsayingitwasaliens-butitwasaliens.jpg

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    RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan ‎(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Wentzville, MORegistered User regular
    edited February 2012
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    Have you ever had two black eyes at the same time? It's not fun, I couldn't open them at all for about a day so was completely blind.


    Yup. First year kids started pitching in little league. Coaches taught us how to get out of the way of the ball. First time a ball went for me, I panicked and instead of turning away, turned into the pitch and caught it right across the bridge of my nose. Same thing: eyes swollen shut for a good amount of time.

    RenaissanceDan on
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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    druhim died three days later from blood loss caused by cutting his hand off while peeling an apple

    0BnD8l3.gif
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    tech_huntertech_hunter More SeattleRegistered User regular
    When I was in middle school I told this girl who had the idea I was her boyfriend that I in fact was not and would not ever even marry her. She grabbed my forearm and raked her crazy long ass nails down my arm gouging out a trench of skin. I still have that scar to this day, and she did end up being super crazy later in life. I think I made the right decision.

    Also around that same time I had a BB gun and was shooting cans in my back yard. I thought it would be cool to try some shots from a prone position. The first shot I took missed the can hit the wall of our shed I was using as a backstop the BB ricocheted back and shot me in the ass.

    Sig to mucho Grande!
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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Druhim still has blood? I was under the impression that he was a mummy now.

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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    druhim died three days later from blood loss caused by cutting his hand off while peeling an apple

    I put a little of myself into every meal I make!

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
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    OmegaTofuNinjaOmegaTofuNinja Registered User regular
    I sliced my pinkie wide open while drunkenly trying to show off my really sweet pocket knife. First time I've ever gotten stitches.

    Facebook Wii: 7912 0299 8667 6601 I tweet sometimes Poetry?!
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    AneurhythmiaAneurhythmia Registered User regular
    Usagi wrote: »
    I've machine sewed my fingers twice, I don't recommend it

    Oh yeah, one time I was machine sewing something and put the needle right through my finger along the side of the nail and out the front pad at an inward angle. I stopped the machine right as it went through and had to use the knob to manually back the needle out. And then the thread was still through it. So much pain.

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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    once at my old job we got a kitchen manager in who was real big on safety

    one of the changes he made was ordering some chainmail gloves for use with the meat slicer

    chainmail gloves
    ever since I have wanted chainmail gloves to make kitchen wounds a thing of the past

    0BnD8l3.gif
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    RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan ‎(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Wentzville, MORegistered User regular
    The Student Counsel at my first college (UMKC before I transferred) put on a foam party. And mixed the foam wrong. For most people, they woke up with a little bit of a rash the next morning, no big deal. I woke up with chemical burns over all my exposed skin that had healed partially in some places: one of those places was over my particularly long eyelashes. So I had to stumble down my hall with my eyes healed shut and my skin screaming at me, count doors to my RA's door, and beat on it till he woke up.

    Him: I'm coming, shit, it's 5am, what the hell is the OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!

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    The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    The Student Counsel at my first college (UMKC before I transferred) put on a foam party. And mixed the foam wrong. For most people, they woke up with a little bit of a rash the next morning, no big deal. I woke up with chemical burns over all my exposed skin that had healed partially in some places: one of those places was over my particularly long eyelashes. So I had to stumble down my hall with my eyes healed shut and my skin screaming at me, count doors to my RA's door, and beat on it till he woke up.

    Him: I'm coming, shit, it's 5am, what the hell is the OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!

    This is the pre-titles sequence to a horror movie isn't it?

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    NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    when you said you were like final destination you weren't kidding

    sheesh

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    this one time i was grinding up sausage links with a waist high meat grinder while drunk and naked and...

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    Druhim wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Yes I know you guys used hand guards

    I just like yelling

    Use kevlar gloves

    Fuck gloves. The risk of mauling myself is the price I pay for creating delicious things and also motivation to use good knife skills to reduce that risk.

    I love you Dru

    But that's dumb

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    One time I almost choked on an everlasting gobstopper.

    Uriel on
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    unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    TheStig wrote:
    this one time i was grinding up sausage links with a waist high meat grinder while drunk and naked and...

    This made me cringe

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    RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan ‎(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Wentzville, MORegistered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    this one time i was grinding up sausage links with a waist high meat grinder while drunk and naked and...

    ...you decided to put in some basil, which it turns out you're allergic to?

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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    Also using Kevlar gloves kind of makes you badass

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    Sheri wrote: »
    Also using Kevlar gloves kind of makes you badass
    Feel like a firefighter.

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    once at my old job we got a kitchen manager in who was real big on safety

    one of the changes he made was ordering some chainmail gloves for use with the meat slicer

    chainmail gloves
    ever since I have wanted chainmail gloves to make kitchen wounds a thing of the past

    I had to wear chainmail gloves when I sliced tomatoes at Wendy's.

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    RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan ‎(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Wentzville, MORegistered User regular
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    once at my old job we got a kitchen manager in who was real big on safety

    one of the changes he made was ordering some chainmail gloves for use with the meat slicer

    chainmail gloves
    ever since I have wanted chainmail gloves to make kitchen wounds a thing of the past

    schlachthausfreund.com/butcher_equipment/index.html

    This company has the sweetest looking ones I could find.

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