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Unlikely Personal Injuries

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    autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    When I was a small kid, I wanted to bring my grandmother a letter. I tripped over a ruf, and hit my head about 2 millimeters from the temples, breaking the bone ther.
    Then a year later, when I was in kindergarden, I ran somewhere, tripped, and broke my skull again, on the other side, again a few mm from the temples.
    Then the next year I was driving someone in a bobby car, tripped, and a fingernail tore out right out of my middle finger. That was about 25 years ago, and that fingernail is still stronger than the rest of them.

    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
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    skettiosskettios Enchanted ForestRegistered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    skettios wrote: »
    At any given time, some part of me is probably bruised and/or has a minor cut.
    This is my life.

    The rule is, the bigger and nastier looking the bruise, the less likely it is that you can remember where the hell it is from

    Of course, this means that when you bang your shin really, really hard so it is sore for a few days afterwards, you are not going to get even the slightest hint of a bruise

    at least this is the rule for me and Mori

    SO DAMN TRUE

    For the most part, this is a fact.

    Once I basically ran into a fire hydrant. Hurrying for the bus, looked back to see where it was, fire hydrant was dark green, wham!

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    JansonJanson Registered User regular
    I came out of the optometrists after an eye exam once. My friend was waiting for me and asked how I had fared (this was back before I needed glasses).

    I replied, 'oh, perfect vision as always' - right as I walked smack-bang into a lamppost.

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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    skettios wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    skettios wrote: »
    At any given time, some part of me is probably bruised and/or has a minor cut.
    This is my life.

    Do I need to fly out there and fuck mongoose up? Cause I'll do it.

    ahahah nono
    He usually stops me if I'm doing something that will obviously get me hurt, or is a bad idea.
    I am 100% klutz

    This is unfortunately both Jess and me. Fortunately we haven't both klutzed at the same time. We suspect if that ever happens it'll trigger the next major quake along the Cascadia fault.

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
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    premiumpremium Registered User regular
    Druhim wrote: »
    skettios wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    skettios wrote: »
    At any given time, some part of me is probably bruised and/or has a minor cut.
    This is my life.

    Do I need to fly out there and fuck mongoose up? Cause I'll do it.

    ahahah nono
    He usually stops me if I'm doing something that will obviously get me hurt, or is a bad idea.
    I am 100% klutz

    This is unfortunately both Jess and me. Fortunately we haven't both klutzed at the same time. We suspect if that ever happens it'll trigger the next major quake along the Cascadia fault.

    My wife is such a klutz that I made her increase her health and life insurance.
    I on the other hand do stupid things on purpose because it seems so cool/efficient in my head at the time.

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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    I cut myself with a plastic spoon once.

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    AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered User regular
    premium wrote: »
    Druhim wrote: »
    skettios wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    skettios wrote: »
    At any given time, some part of me is probably bruised and/or has a minor cut.
    This is my life.

    Do I need to fly out there and fuck mongoose up? Cause I'll do it.

    ahahah nono
    He usually stops me if I'm doing something that will obviously get me hurt, or is a bad idea.
    I am 100% klutz

    This is unfortunately both Jess and me. Fortunately we haven't both klutzed at the same time. We suspect if that ever happens it'll trigger the next major quake along the Cascadia fault.

    My wife is such a klutz that I made her increase her health and life insurance.
    I on the other hand do stupid things on purpose because it seems so cool/efficient in my head at the time.

    How much did this increase your premium?

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    premiumpremium Registered User regular
    Anialos wrote: »
    premium wrote: »
    Druhim wrote: »
    skettios wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    skettios wrote: »
    At any given time, some part of me is probably bruised and/or has a minor cut.
    This is my life.

    Do I need to fly out there and fuck mongoose up? Cause I'll do it.

    ahahah nono
    He usually stops me if I'm doing something that will obviously get me hurt, or is a bad idea.
    I am 100% klutz

    This is unfortunately both Jess and me. Fortunately we haven't both klutzed at the same time. We suspect if that ever happens it'll trigger the next major quake along the Cascadia fault.

    My wife is such a klutz that I made her increase her health and life insurance.
    I on the other hand do stupid things on purpose because it seems so cool/efficient in my head at the time.

    How much did this increase your premium?

    boooo

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    skettiosskettios Enchanted ForestRegistered User regular
    edited February 2012
    Being a klutz has some upsides though.
    Have gotten alright at walking-it-off and not-making-a-scene, for the most part (unless it's really bad of course)

    skettios on
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    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    oh yeah both of my big toes are bruised and full of blood under the nail

    i can't remember what i did to either of them

    i might've dropped a weight on one but i swore it was higher on the foot that i dropped it

    zkHcp.jpg
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    A Dabble Of TheloniusA Dabble Of Thelonius It has been a doozy of a dayRegistered User regular
    I've fractured my elbow, broken three fingers (four I suppose, I broke one twice), broken my arm, experienced massive blood loss from accidentally fileting my hand on broken glass, had burning plastic dropped on my hand, flipped my meniscus when a metal rod went under my kneecap, gotten a concussion from slamming face first into a metal roof and been electrocuted by a main line.

    Good times.

    vm8gvf5p7gqi.jpg
    Steam - Talon Valdez :Blizz - Talonious#1860 : Xbox Live & LoL - Talonious Monk @TaloniousMonk Hail Satan
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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    One time I banged my right foot so hard I disconnected the pinkie toenail.

    It was just dangling there on the side, still attached by a tiny bit of skin.

    It was the second most painful toe-related anything I can remember.

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    Kadith wrote: »
    oh yeah both of my big toes are bruised and full of blood under the nail

    i can't remember what i did to either of them

    i might've dropped a weight on one but i swore it was higher on the foot that i dropped it

    I got ingrown toenails on my big toes pretty bad for a few years before they went in and put that chemical on the root

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    Last..Thursday I think it was, and started to bend over at the waist to get some clean laundry and since my L5-S1 is completely empty, everything got pinched at the base of my spine and there was immediate sharp pain shooting up my spine, followed by everything below the waste going dead and me falling on the floor. Took a moment for feeling to come back and for me to pick myself up off the floor.

    Weaver on
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    A Dabble Of TheloniusA Dabble Of Thelonius It has been a doozy of a dayRegistered User regular
    Oh and a truck parked on my foot.

    vm8gvf5p7gqi.jpg
    Steam - Talon Valdez :Blizz - Talonious#1860 : Xbox Live & LoL - Talonious Monk @TaloniousMonk Hail Satan
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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    I've never broken a bone, I don't think

    Maybe dislocated a finger or two, but nothing broken

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    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    the only thing i've ever had broken is my heart

    zkHcp.jpg
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    premiumpremium Registered User regular
    I barely remember this at all but when I was really young(barely in kindergarten) I didn't listen to my parents and kept jumping on the bed and ended up dismounting sideways onto the dresser and broke my arm at the elbow.
    Pretty much all I remember is that I got to sit in the front seat on the way to the hospital which was cool because it was new.

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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    Kadith wrote: »
    the only thing i've ever had broken is my heart

    I'm the duct tape you need to fix it

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    The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    God remember when you dreamed of sitting in the front seat? Like, you had no concept of what it was like and you just imagined what it would be like.

    I'm sorta like that now with driving. I could be driving along and look at my hands on the wheel and think 'oh my god I'm actually driving! for most of my life I've only dreamed of this and now I'm actually doing it'.

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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Kadith wrote: »
    the only thing i've ever had broken is my heart

    I tried to warn you that I'd only end up hurting you.

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
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    The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    Oh God looking at that post I realize what I've just done.

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    YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    skettios wrote: »
    Being a klutz has some upsides though.
    Have gotten alright at walking-it-off and not-making-a-scene, for the most part (unless it's really bad of course)

    We should get you some training wheels.

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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    Druhim wrote: »
    Kadith wrote: »
    the only thing i've ever had broken is my heart

    I tried to warn you that I'd only end up hurting you.

    hurt me Druhim

    hurt me hard

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    premiumpremium Registered User regular
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    God remember when you dreamed of sitting in the front seat? Like, you had no concept of what it was like and you just imagined what it would be like.

    I'm sorta like that now with driving. I could be driving along and look at my hands on the wheel and think 'oh my god I'm actually driving! for most of my life I've only dreamed of this and now I'm actually doing it'.

    Driving is one of the best new experiences ever. I hope one day I can find time to get a pilots license, I bet that's even better.

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    RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan ‎(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Wentzville, MORegistered User regular
    I was in a practice room sitting down at a piano bench getting ready to practice saxophone when both of the legs on the side I was sitting on folded in, and the bench flipped around, hit me in the back of the head, and caused my head to snap forward, jamming and breaking off about half an inch of the tip of my reed in the cheek below my right eye. Having wood pulled out of your face: do not recommend.

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    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    Keith wrote: »

    I'm the duct tape you need to fix it
    you're only saying that because i sentkeithamessage.jpg
    Druhim wrote: »

    I tried to warn you that I'd only end up hurting you.

    this always happens when i listen to my heart dick
    if this posts 5 times i blame phone-posting

    zkHcp.jpg
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    premiumpremium Registered User regular
    Did it at least leave a cool looking scar?

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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    Kadith wrote: »
    Keith wrote: »

    I'm the duct tape you need to fix it
    you're only saying that because i sentkeithamessage.jpg

    no no

    it's because you have a beard

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    RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan ‎(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Wentzville, MORegistered User regular
    premium wrote: »
    Did it at least leave a cool looking scar?

    Actually, no scar. It went straight in and left a really thin cut. Didn't even get stitches, just had a lot of bruising for a while. Getting it pulled out, however... well, the grain in it was kind of set against my facemeats. And it was in there pretty good. Most of the bruising probably came from the extraction.

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    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    Keith wrote: »
    Kadith wrote: »
    Keith wrote: »

    I'm the duct tape you need to fix it
    you're only saying that because i sentkeithamessage.jpg

    no no

    it's because you have a beard

    oh, well i'm fine with that

    shit i'd barely call this anything compared to the depression beard i trimmed down at the beginning of the semester

    zkHcp.jpg
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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    Kadith wrote: »
    Keith wrote: »
    Kadith wrote: »
    Keith wrote: »

    I'm the duct tape you need to fix it
    you're only saying that because i sentkeithamessage.jpg

    no no

    it's because you have a beard

    oh, well i'm fine with that

    shit i'd barely call this anything compared to the depression beard i trimmed down at the beginning of the semester

    also you mentioned chest hair 8->

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    SkeithSkeith Registered User regular
    I was getting ready to shave right after I woke up (I think there was a wedding or something that I had to go to) when I grabbed the sharp edges of the blade between my thumb and index finger to put in on the handle. I learned that I am still not a morning person and should not shave in the morning.

    aTBDrQE.jpg
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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    Skeith

    We meet again...

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    I love my safety razor.

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    Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    I've had a rash of personal injuries in the last couple of months that make me feel like I'm in some sort of milder form of Final Destination. I though it would be interesting to see what other incidents of exquisite, unlikely pain others have had. Most recent one for me:

    I work setup at a catering hall. Recently I bought new headphones for my iPod. Everything goes fine as I am listening to my podcasts and setting up tables/chairs. Then comes time to throw the linens. As I shake out the first table cloth, all of the static electricity from the heavy, tightly folded cloth explodes between my inner ear and ear buds. My knees buckle, and I madly yank the buds from my hears, and can only hear a terrifying hissing which gradually fades. I feel the blood rush to my ears, my equilibrium goes haywire, and I lose consciousness for about 30 minutes on the floor. When I come to, I dab fingers in my ears to check for blood (felt like there was, but none actually showed up), and talk out loud to myself and bang on tables to see if I can hear anything. Aside from a splitting headache and a fear of my headphones, I am completely fine.

    i broke my hand while gesturing wildly in front of the mirror practicing for a speech i was gonna do

    the sink i slapped the hand off of, it was broke man. it was all sharp and asymmetrical. the bone never healed right

    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
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    CoohlaCoohla Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    As a kid (3 or so) I ate a load of potassium permanganate. I came to my parents with the inside of my mouth awfully purple/black. The doctors were worried I could have damaged my throat, so I had an endoscope and everything in me. Turns out I was okay, yay. Must have been so scary for my parents, though.

    Also, I have never broken a bone. Which is weird, because my nose sure dost look broken in one place.

    Coohla on
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    jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    When I was in grade school, in 4th grade I think, I was horsing around with some other kids on the school playground. We were chasing each other in an area that was covered with small pebbles, when I tripped over my own two feet and landed nose-first in the pebbles. My nose split open and I got some pebbles lodged under the skin, that was an interesting feeling. The blood coagulated pretty quickly, so I was left with a horn-like scab on the wound. I still don't understand how the blood dried so quickly.

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    DeicistDeicist Registered User regular
    One time I had a nipple ring yank forcefully from its designated location.

    That smarted.

    Oh, I also received a 240v shock a couple of months ago due to a negligent apprentice and still have a small scar from it.

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    When I was a kid I was out shooting a BB gun at trees, from a good 30-40 feet away. Once a BB ricocheted back and nailed me right on the lower curve of my left eye socket. So I switched to scaring birds off of power lines.

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