Traikan's music needs crits badly

TraikanTraikan Registered User regular
edited March 2012 in Artist's Corner
Most of the people I share my music with on a regular basis are very nice, and that's great, but I feel like there are some things about music that just aren't clicking, both theorywise and in the production. So, I'm seeking out a greater diversity of opinions and I'm looking for harsh feedback. Pick your nits and air your grievances. What's working, what isn't, the usual stuff.

Here are the last three songs I've written with minimal context.

Penumbra's Purchase - A love letter to SNES RPGs.

44th Ave & Bourbon - A private detective's theme.

Raising Action - For a workforce and its supervisors on another world.

I'm always happy to trade critiques, so if you have anything that you'd like input on let me know.

Traikan on

Posts

  • Linespider5Linespider5 ALL HAIL KING KILLMONGER Registered User regular
    Raising Action I like quite a bit-you're doing something rather interesting with the acoustic guitar playing over the top of the atmospheric beats...mind you, I lack the technical vocabulary to give you any really helpful advice, but the latter third of composition where the horns come in sounds a little overdone. The horns and guitar seem to be competing for the same place in the song in a way that doesn't sound intentional, and might require some rearrangement, depending on what the goal of the piece is.

    But acoustic guitar over beats like you've done it here is a pretty neat trick.

  • TraikanTraikan Registered User regular
    Thanks for the feedback!

    I'm not sure how to resolve that, but I'll start simple and just try dropping the horns an octave, then futz with it in more depth.

  • lizard eats flieslizard eats flies Registered User regular
    Sorry it took so long for me to reply:

    For me the biggest issue is the samples. A lot of them start to reach a sort of uncanny valley type thing. Like the flute type in Penumbra's Purchase and the horns in Raising Action. They are obviously synth but its almost like they are sounding close enough to real that its a bit... weird. I would push these more one direction or another.

    For the flute sample, I also am not a big fan of the attack on it. It seems too much for each note to have that sort of 'pew pew' sound (for lack of a better way to describe it :-P )

    Composition wise, you are good at the layering and I like it. This is quite evident with the guitar + horns. I actually like the thick horns, so take that for what you will. I like how it builds. On Penumbra's, the composition was pretty good, but I wanted to see it go some where. I do feel like it evoked the SNES RPG thing, so good job there, but after a while it started to feel like it was dragging. I would push the dynamics more so its not so flat. Maybe think about layering some more sounds at various points. Wind noises came to mind. Not sure tho. I guess what its missing is some sort of motion.

    I havn't gotten a chance to listen to 44th yet, but I'll try to soon.

    All in all, good stuff. Keep up the work!

  • TraikanTraikan Registered User regular
    Thanks Lizard!

    Your comment about the uncanny valley is interesting, it's something I hadn't considered before. I can definitely think of some songs that have clearly synthesized instruments and it sounds great, but I've never tried to get there deliberately.

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