[Cards Against Humanity] The Original and the Best! Now with Extra Graphics!

simonwolf

Cards Against Humanity

You know Apples to Apples, right? Party game, one person gets to play a Red Apple card that gives a noun or some other thing to be described, and all the other players get to play a Green Apple card that acts as the descriptor. Then the person who played the Red Apple card gets to decide which one fits the best - though honestly, I'm pretty sure everyone just picks the one that is the funniest.

Cards Against Humanity is like that, only it drops the innocent pretense.

This is a game where you'll be trying to figure out the best card in your hand to fill the blank in "I drink to forget __________", and the cards in your hand include smegma, the homosexual agenda, and historically black colleges.

It's really funny.

The game itself is available for free at the Cards Against Humanity website, or you can pay cash money to get a physical copy of the thing. There's an expansion pack available, but we won't be playing with that, since it costs cash money and I am but a poor Australian.

Here's how the game itself will work, though: sign up in the thread, and when the game starts, you'll be sent a hand of ten White Cards. Once the game starts, everyone takes it in turns to be the Card Czar and judge the results of that round. Only the winner of the round is publicly revealed as having played any particular card, so you can feign innocence when your abortion card didn't win the round.

The equivalent of Red Apple cards in this game are called Black Cards. Basically, the Card Czar chooses which one they find the funniest, and then the player who put down that White Card (or Cards) wins a point! Once we all start getting tired, we get one final round, where everyone makes a haiku from the cards in their hand, and that's game over.

I'll be looking at five or more players, preferably, but there's plenty of room.

So, what are you waiting for? Sign up, and get ready to be politically incorrect!


PLAYERS
1. Capfalcon - 1 Awesome Point
2. Lucedes - 1 Awesome Point
3. Cayrus - 1 Awesome Point
4. Mim - 1 Awesome Point
5. I needed a name to post. - 0 Awesome Points
6. Bedlam. - 0 Awesome Points
7. Telnaior - 1 Awesome Point
8. tzeentchling - 2 Awesome Point
9. blahmcblah - 2 Awesome Point

PREVIOUS ROUNDS
1. This is the way the world ends \ This is the way the world ends \ Not with a bang but with a sad handjob. (winner: Capfalcon)
2. For my next trick, I will pull the Jews out of bitches. (winner: Mim)
3. What's my secret power? Dick fingers. (winner: Lucedes)
4. A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without police brutality. (winner: Telnaior)
5. During sex, I like to think about BATMAN!!!. (winner: tzeentchling )
6. Rumor has it that Vladimir Putin's favourite dish is a can of whoop-ass stuffed with raptor attacks. (winner: Cayrus)
7. What's there a ton of in heaven? Ghosts. (winner: blahmcblah)
8. In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has opened an interactive exhibit on queefing. (winner: blahmcblach)
9. In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that Bill Nye the Science Guy had really been not reciprocating oral sex all along. (winner: tzeentchling )

CURRENT ROUND
War! What is it good for?

Capfalcon

I do like Apples To Apples, especially when it gets inappropriate.

Lucedes

yussssss

i like apples~

i'm unsure about humanity~

Cayrus

This sounds like a lot of fun.

simonwolf

Let's see if we can't get another couple of people involved before we start the game, shall we?

I needed anime to post.

I am BOTH those things!

Bedlam

Sure, why not.

Telnaior

Joining in!

Mim

I'm already on this list. Yesssssss.

simonwolf

Alright, we have seven people now, but I'll wait until this has been open at least 24 hours before officially calling things to a close, sending out hands, and declaring who shall be the first of the Card Czars.

simonwolf

I guess it's game on, then!

Everyone will be receiving their hands shortly, containing ten White Cards.

The Card Czar for this round is Bedlam! You will judge the results after they come in, and determine a victor, so don't send in a card.

The Black Card for this round is...

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but with __________.

PM me the White Card in your hand that you think is the best/funniest fit!

Let the games begin.

tzeentchling

Oh man, am I too late to join in? Cause I super enjoy CAH. If I am, then I suppose I will reserve.

Cayrus

Is there any time limit for getting our cards in? Obviously the sooner the better...

Capfalcon

Card submitted, btw.

I needed anime to post.

I would imagine that the process of deciding on a card shouldn't take that long, it's just a matter of when whoever hasn't submitted a card yet logs on (weekends ho).

Also I hope that the Card Czar talks through these things! It's not gonna be any fun if you just say "Well I think The Aristocrats is best, next card" Bedlam!

simonwolf

Hopefully we can get through about one round a day, since it is not a very hard game to work through. Weekends are another matter entirely, though. And yes, posting in here during the round and doing some elaboration on your choices is heartily encouraged, otherwise this thread will mostly just be me doing updates, and that would be the worst.

But enough about that! It's time for the FIRST ROUND JUDGING AAAAAAA

ROUND ONE

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends...

• Not with a bang but with unfathomable stupidity.
  
• Not with a bang but with foreskin.
  
• Not with a bang but with the South.
  
• Not with a bang but with seduction.
  
• Not with a bang but with a sad handjob.
  
• Not with a bang but with child beauty pageants.

@Bedlam, as Card Czar, your time is now - which of these choices is the best and/or funniest? Decisions!

I needed anime to post.

Also I boldly encourage saying these all out loud regardless of who is around you.

simonwolf

@tzeentchling - if you don't mind a one round disadvantage, then you are welcome to join in the fun! I'll send you a fresh hand when this round is over.

tzeentchling

Cool, sounds good!

Edit - also, since I don't have a stake in this round, I have to say that of those submissions, "unfathomable stupidity" is the hands-down clear favorite of mine.

Capfalcon

Child beauty pageants is always the right answer.

Always.

Bedlam

Oh feck. no pressure or anything :S

Bedlam

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends..
Not with a bang but with a sad handjob.

I liked the ones just above and below it but sad handjob made me laugh the most.

Capfalcon

Whoohoo!

ALL BOW BEFORE ME!

simonwolf

Round One goes to Capfalcon! He scores an Awesome Point, and all others wallow in shame.

The next Card Czar is Telnaior! Everyone else, check your inboxes, as you'll be receiving your new cards.

Which you'll need to put to good use as the next Black Card is...

For my next trick, I will pull __________ out of __________.

For this round, select TWO of your cards, and PM them to me in order of blank to be filled.

Cayrus

Aww, nothing can beat a sad handjob.

I needed anime to post.

Cayrus wrote: »

Aww, nothing can beat a sad handjob.

:winky:

e: I want you all to imagine that were we sitting around a table I would have put my two cards down here authoritively.

Cayrus

I agonized over two of my cards but I think the result maximizes the lolz.

tzeentchling

Who put in "stupidity" last round? Because you get a cookie from me.

This round, we'll see. I like my submissions, but they're not instant winners, I think.

blahmcblah

I am a fool for not signing up earlier. Can I come in with a two-round disadvantage? I really just want to play.

simonwolf

Well, since not everyone has submitted for the most recent round, you'll have but a one round disadvantage!

Sending you a hand o' cards right now, chuckles.

blahmcblah

Hooray, thanks!

BobCesca

I am following this with many giggles

Telnaior

These submissions had better be good!
(I should probably change my avatar back now, shouldn't I?)

Lucedes

tzeentchling wrote: »

Who put in "stupidity" last round? Because you get a cookie from me.

This round, we'll see. I like my submissions, but they're not instant winners, I think.

Cayrus

I'm guessing whoever played foreskin last round is hating themselves right now; its just so perfect for this one.

tzeentchling

That always happens in A2A style games. Especially to me, usually.

simonwolf

Just waiting on one last jerk to submit their turn, and we'll be up to the judging stage.

Bedlam

HEY JERK! WAY TO GO YOU JERK!

pesky

Can I join in as well? Screw the 2 round advantage. Im here for the lols.

simonwolf

I am deciding that we are totes full up at this point, mostly because I can't be fucked tracking more than nine hands at a time.

Custom Special

Simon, I will join your magical game of hilarity and be not a late jerk.

That is, if it please the jury.
Like Blah, I wanted to join but wasn't sure if there was a cap.

Edit: and of course you say that while I was posting...
Go vanilla!