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[Cards Against Humanity] With your host, Guy Smiley! Round 5!

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    MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    Oh boy, oh boy....

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
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    Shiny New ToysShiny New Toys where am i? its dark in hereRegistered User regular
    yey, I got in. choices, choices. I think the pair I picked make some kind of twisted sense.

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    MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    I don't think I came out swinging as hard as I should've. Oh well, there's always the lightning round.

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
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    TelnaiorTelnaior Registered User regular
    Rius wrote: »
    I'm playing this one awfully straight, but I have a pair of cards that are just perfect for this.

    I'm pretty sure my cards are more perfect :D
    (Well, almost. I can only think of one way they could be better, and I doubt that's possible unless we get lucky in a later expansion)

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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    SO MANY GOOD OPTIONS FOR THIS ROUND

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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    Seriously, I'm agonizing here

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    TelnaiorTelnaior Registered User regular
    Play the bad option instead so that you don't waste two good cards?

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    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    Telnaior wrote: »
    Play the bad option instead so that you don't waste two good cards?

    I had, like, four appropriate options

    All of them were awesome

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    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Wonder how many submissions we still need? I wanna be judge! These threads help work go by so much more quickly. Huzzah and such!

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    LaemkralLaemkral Captain Punch King Chester, VARegistered User regular
    Okay, I've submitted mine!

    Avatar courtesy of MKR, and the strip I appeared in.
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    DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Matev wrote: »
    I don't think I came out swinging as hard as I should've. Oh well, there's always the lightning round.

    215238794_7dwVg-L-2.jpg

    I'd like to point out that the google ad served up by the PA index/search site I used to find that was a Santorum campaign ad.

    What is this I don't even.
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    towndrunk34towndrunk34 Registered User regular
    I'm in, sorry if I held everything up.

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    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Nah, I'm still waiting on one more. You know who you are. First round started at an odd time, so I'm giving some leeway. I don't know if I'll be able to keep strictly to the time schedule I put together, but there will still be a loose rule that if you take too long I'll pick a card to submit for you instead.

    And it won't be a funny one.

    It will be something like... "evil men" and "heroes," in this case. That's so lame.

    Figgy on
    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
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    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    edited March 2012
    It was me, didn't realize the game was starting so soon. Mine are in though!

    Edit: My life has been so filled with putting IKEA furniture together and making cupcakes, I have had no time to internet. Rest assured this is a very temporary Suzie homemaker phase and I will now be dishing out the inappropriate phrases like mad.

    daniant on
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    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    Alright, our contestants have locked in their answers. Let's take a look at the board!

    boardtop-1.png

    In a world ravaged by oversized lollipops, our only solace is children on leashes
    In a world ravaged by bitches, our only solace is raping and pillaging
    In a world ravaged by menstruation, our only solace is teaching a robot to love
    In a world ravaged by centaurs, our only solace is the milk man
    In a world ravaged by Republicans, our only solace is the homosexual agenda
    In a world ravaged by Britney Spears at 55, our only solace is an assymetric boob job
    In a world ravaged by RoboCop, our only solace is Sean Connery
    In a world ravaged by a zesty breakfast burrito, our only solace is Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts
    In a world ravaged by Tom Cruise, our only solace is puppies
    In a world ravaged by glory holes, our only solace is queefing
    In a world ravaged by two midgets shitting into a bucket, our only solace is AXE body spray
    In a world ravaged by Dick Cheney, our only solace is Scientology
    In a world ravaged by erectile dysfunction, our only solace is Keanu Reeves
    In a world ravaged by preteens, our only solace is explosions
    In a world ravaged by child abuse, our only solace is coat hanger abortions
    In a world ravaged by fiery poops, our only solace is praying the gay away


    boardbot.png

    That looks like a lot of words! Old Smiley sure isn't about to read them all. So, let's head over to our studio audience! @Vanguard, What is the most popular answer on the board?

    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
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    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Someone queue up the Jeopardy theme!

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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    I really liked two of those.

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    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
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    AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered User regular
    Yes, please tell.

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    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Shitting midgets is always comedy gold. It's not the ones i entered, but i laughed nonetheless

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    RiusRius Globex CEO Nobody ever says ItalyRegistered User regular
    Heh, wow. That Glenn Beck card.

    Some of these are pretty random and don't have much to do with each other; I got a good laugh out of Republicans and Centaurs though.

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    CapfalconCapfalcon Tunnel Snakes Rule Capital WastelandRegistered User regular
    Rius wrote: »
    Heh, wow. That Glenn Beck card.

    Some of these are pretty random and don't have much to do with each other; I got a good laugh out of Republicans and Centaurs though.

    I now have to get this game to see if that is a real card.

    I mean, my God, someone put a lot of thought into that.

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    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Capfalcon wrote: »
    Rius wrote: »
    Heh, wow. That Glenn Beck card.

    Some of these are pretty random and don't have much to do with each other; I got a good laugh out of Republicans and Centaurs though.

    I now have to get this game to see if that is a real card.

    I mean, my God, someone put a lot of thought into that.

    It's real, I promise you. There's a PDF you can download on their site and print up at like office depot on cardstock and play with friends. It is good times

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    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    I find the insinuation that I would make up cards insulting.

    But then I'm hit with the realization that I can make up cards. Hmmm.

    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
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    DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    In a world ravaged by Republicans, our only solace is the homosexual agenda.

    In a world ravaged by fiery poops, our only solace is praying the gay away.

    Both of these are great, and could have benefited by inclusion of the Glenn Beck card.

    I think you should invent a Santorum card.

    Darkewolfe on
    What is this I don't even.
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    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    In a world ravaged by Republicans, our only solace is coat hanger abortions.

    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
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    DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Figgy wrote: »
    In a world ravaged by Republicans, our only solace is coat hanger abortions.

    This one just kinda makes me sad. Too realistic.

    What is this I don't even.
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    VanguardVanguard But now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    After minutes of frantic button pushing, the audience, who are terrible people, have voted. The most popular answer on the board is:

    In a world ravaged by child abuse, our only solace is coat hanger abortions

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    DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Vanguard wrote: »
    After minutes of frantic button pushing, the audience, who are terrible people, have voted. The most popular answer on the board is:

    In a world ravaged by child abuse, our only solace is coat hanger abortions

    Are the... are the children abusing us? Is this our last line of defense?

    What is this I don't even.
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    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Vanguard wrote: »
    After minutes of frantic button pushing, the audience, who are terrible people, have voted. The most popular answer on the board is:

    In a world ravaged by child abuse, our only solace is coat hanger abortions

    YESSSSSSSS
    I mean... I graciously accept your votes with a humble heart, and much thankfulness

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    RiusRius Globex CEO Nobody ever says ItalyRegistered User regular
    Phrase makes no sense, wins point, welcome to Cards Against Humanity

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    tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks OaklandRegistered User regular
    I admit I was rooting for bitches/raping and pillaging. This may make me a bad person.

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    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    Rius wrote: »
    Phrase makes no sense, wins point, welcome to Cards Against Humanity

    Of course it makes sense. When your sink keeps clogging, do you stop shoving food down there? No, you stop eating food entirely. You get to the root of the problem.

    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
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    VanguardVanguard But now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2012
    ^this.

    Vanguard on
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    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    No kids, no child abuse to be seen!

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    VanguardVanguard But now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2012
    Problem solved! Also, we punish the child abusers by giving them abortions!

    It's a win-win situation.

    Vanguard on
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    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    I see. Perhaps I'm the only one who has worked in a middle school long enough to believe that blowing up preteens is always the answer.

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    AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered User regular
    daniant wrote: »
    I see. Perhaps I'm the only one who has worked in a middle school long enough to believe that blowing up preteens is always the answer.

    You don't have to work in a middle school to know this is the only answer.

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    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    The results are in! Thank you, Vanguard. Now get back to your podium because I think Bedlam has been trying to sneak a peak at your cards. With Round One drawn to a close, let's take a look at the score!
    board01-1.png

    Oh good, I was afraid the bulbs would be burnt out. I mean, really, people. It's our pilot episode and we can't get a working scoreboard? No matter, let's move on to Round Two! Contestants, you should have your new cards by now. Give me your best answer to the following question:

    Dear Abby, I am having trouble with ____________ and would like your advice.

    Alright, contestants, lock in your answers. Not you, Darkewolfe. You're heading out into the streets to find out the scuttlebutt. Or whatever. Just get the hell out of the studio. And before I forget, TheRoadVirus can GAMBLE that point to submit an extra card! You know you wanna.




    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
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    towndrunk34towndrunk34 Registered User regular
    I'm sad. Not because Dick Cheney wasn't voted for, but because he wasn't talked about at all.
    Still, these are hilarious.

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