As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options

[Cards Against Humanity] With your host, Guy Smiley! Round 5!

123457

Posts

  • Options
    VanguardVanguard But now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    Awful.

  • Options
    blahmcblahblahmcblah You pick your side and you stick - you don't cut and run when things get ugly. Registered User regular
    Wow, did not see that one coming. Twas in my bottom 5. To each their own!

  • Options
    CayrusCayrus Consul Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!Registered User regular
    Thus proves my theory that when I put in throw-away cards I win.

    Former Secret Service Agent Nathaniel Ford in Call of Cthulhu: Whispers in the Darkness

    Henri Emmanuel Gratien St Pierre in Where No Man Has Gone Before

    Lord Augustus Cumberbatch in Eclipse Phase
  • Options
    DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    I definitely blew my homoerotic volleyball montage load too early.

    What is this I don't even.
  • Options
    tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks OaklandRegistered User regular
    I mean, how does The Force not win? That's pretty much the definition of wizard.

  • Options
    daniantdaniant Columbus, OhioRegistered User regular
    How does Billy Nye the Science Guy not win? I mean, what was science in the Dark Ages but ~MAGIC!~

  • Options
    LaemkralLaemkral Captain Punch King Chester, VARegistered User regular
    edited April 2012
    I mean, how does The Force not win? That's pretty much the definition of wizard.

    THANK you! Exactly my thoughts! "Behold my magic powers!" *Force pull*

    EDIT: So I'm at PAX and was playing CAH in the Seaport hotel lobby last night. Same card comes up, I again play "The Force" and I get shut down, again. Never again will I trust in the power of The Force.

    Laemkral on
    Avatar courtesy of MKR, and the strip I appeared in.
  • Options
    Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    Okay, I give up

    When my submission isn't even listed as an option I quit fucking caring

  • Options
    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    Okay, I give up

    When my submission isn't even listed as an option I quit fucking caring

    Who did the what now?

    Also, it's a game man. If you're not having fun, then for sure bow out.

    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
  • Options
    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    Just had a chance to look it over and I indeed missed your entry. I apologize.

    If it makes you feel any better, it wouldn't have won! :bz

    But I won't say what it was because you can use it again

    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
  • Options
    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    Also, gonna be a day or two before I get the next round up. Got another job and I'm doing doubles to fully train in the new one before I quit the old.

    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
  • Options
    CerberusCerberus Registered User regular
    Cool, not a problem. Thanks for running it.

  • Options
    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Congrats on the new job, @Figgy !

  • Options
    AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered User regular
    Job>game, gratz man!

  • Options
    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    Er, thanks towndrunk34. I don't know that I (or anyone else for that matter) would agree with you, but I sincerely hope your kickback from Cayrus was substantial.

    board08.png


    Let's see, Laemkral is going to help me out of a little jam, here. Could you pick the best answers to the following sentence?

    For my next trick, I will pull _________ out of __________.

    Who comes up with these? We're just asking for it by now.





    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
  • Options
    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    edited April 2012
    I don't know what half of you are doing over there with your buzzers up your butts, but we can't stall any longer. For this round, those who failed to submit cards sit out this round!


    boardtop-1.png

    For my next trick, I will pull The Big Bang out of necrophilia.
    For my next trick, I will pull embryonic stem cells out of Gandhi.
    For my next trick, I will pull nipple blades out of the true meaning of Christmas.
    For my next trick, I will pull classist undertones out of Christopher Walken.
    For my next trick, I will pull the Pope out of assless chaps.
    For my next trick, I will pull a robust mongoloid out of Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him).
    For my next trick, I will pull 8oz of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin out of Nazis.
    For my next trick, I will pull old people smell out of Judge Judy.
    For my next trick, I will pull the placentaout of Natalie Portman.
    For my next trick, I will pull the hardworking Mexican out of a really cool hat..

    boardbot.png

    @Laemkral , what is your will? So it may be done.





    Figgy on
    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
  • Options
    LaemkralLaemkral Captain Punch King Chester, VARegistered User regular
    Oooh, this is a toughie, but I'm going to go with getting that old people smell out of Judge Judy!

    Avatar courtesy of MKR, and the strip I appeared in.
  • Options
    DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    DAMNITT. I was really hoping I'd put my Christopher Walken bomb to good use.

    What is this I don't even.
  • Options
    VanguardVanguard But now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    I thought my Natalie Portman ploy was pretty good.

    Nope.

  • Options
    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Some of these are way better than others. I am currently disappointed in my submission.

  • Options
    CerberusCerberus Registered User regular
    I'm shocked it won... but pleased...

  • Options
    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Alright, folks! There you have it! Cerberus takes the lead!

    board09.png


    And with that? It looks like it's time for our final, super, awesome, wicked, chocolatey LIGHTENING ROUND!

    For this final round, all contestants will submit their answers, and all contestants will vote for their favourite. Or maybe you'll vote for the worst? Whatever tickles your fancy. The only rule here is that you can't vote for your own entry. That's it!

    Oh wait, that's not it. You'll see a whole bunch of questions. You must submit answers for two of the three. That's right. You will vote on each of them after all entries are in, and points will be awarded to first, and second place. Two and one, respectively. Or disrespectively.

    Let the fun begin!

    While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on ___________.

    I never understood _____________ until I encountered _____________.

    _____________: kid tested, mother approved.

    Let me hear it!


    Figgy on
    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
  • Options
    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Also, if you guys can just copy/paste the entire question and put your answer in the blank, it will make this round a whole lot easier for me to track.

    Edit: Another note, you're only answering two of the three questions, guys. Pick which two you want, leave the other one out.

    Figgy on
    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
  • Options
    RiusRius Globex CEO Nobody ever says ItalyRegistered User regular
    We're not getting any new cards for this last round?

  • Options
    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    Nope!

    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
  • Options
    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Time is up for our super duper lightning round! Here are your choices:


    boardtop-1.png

    While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on the violation of our most basic human rights.
    While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on finger painting.
    While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on sexy pillow fights.
    While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on cheating in the Special Olympics.
    While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on getting so angry that you pop a boner.
    While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on wiping her butt.
    While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on whipping it out.

    I never understood foreskin until I encountered road head.
    I never understood the folly of man until I encountered Pabst Blue Ribbon.
    I never understood dropping a chandelier on your enemies and then riding the rope up until I encountered opposable thumbs.
    I never understood doing the right thing until I encountered third base.
    I never understood police brutality until I encountered a token minority.
    I never understood eugenics until I encountered my relationship status.

    Re-gifting: kid tested, mother approved.
    Obesity: kid tested, mother approved.
    Teenage pregnancy: kid tested, mother approved.
    An Oedipus complex: kid tested, mother approved.
    Civilian casualties: kid tested, mother approved.
    Sniffing glue: kid tested, mother approved.
    A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis: kid tested, mother approved.
    Former President George W. Bush: kid tested, mother approved.
    Adderall: kid tested, mother approved.

    boardbot.png

    Each contestant now votes for their favourite in each category. Again, you will be voting three times, and you cannot vote for your own submission. Let's hear it!


    Figgy on
    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
  • Options
    RiusRius Globex CEO Nobody ever says ItalyRegistered User regular
  • Options
    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    1) Cheating in the special olympics
    2) Police brutality. Made me laugh out loud at work. Explanation was awkward
    3) Teenage Pregnancy

  • Options
    MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    1. Sexy Pillow Fights, cause it read best.
    2. Police Brutality, because I'm a terrible human
    3. An Oedipus complex, well played good sir.

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • Options
    MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    Hitting Y so hard right now

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • Options
    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    High five, @Matev
    We are 1/3 compatible.
    Let's make out
    Y/N

  • Options
    RiusRius Globex CEO Nobody ever says ItalyRegistered User regular
    Alrighty!

    1) Cheating in the Special Olympics. Imagine that science lab.
    2) Folly of Man / PBR. Smooth!
    3) Oedipus Complex. Works perfectly.

  • Options
    DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    1.While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on sexy pillow fights. (Because it's the only more justifiable expenditure.)
    2. I never understood the folly of man until I encountered Pabst Blue Ribbon. (Because it appeals to my beer snobbery.)
    3. An Oedipus complex: kid tested, mother approved. (Doesn't play it too straight but still makes sense.)

    What is this I don't even.
  • Options
    FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    I was going to say it's up to you, so public it is!

    XBL : Figment3 · SteamID : Figment
  • Options
    AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered User regular
    1. Cheating in the special olympics.
    2. Police brutality.
    3. Oedipus complex.

  • Options
    VanguardVanguard But now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    Anialos wrote: »
    1. Cheating in the special olympics.
    2. Police brutality.
    3. Oedipus complex.

    My answers are identical.

  • Options
    peskypesky Registered User regular
    1.sexy pillow fights!
    2.folly of man, PBR (kinda straight but not)
    3.snapping turtle (cheap circumcision, which mother doesnt want that?)

  • Options
    CayrusCayrus Consul Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!Registered User regular
    While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on cheating in the Special Olympics.

    I never understood the folly of man until I encountered Pabst Blue Ribbon.

    An Oedipus complex: kid tested, mother approved.

    Former Secret Service Agent Nathaniel Ford in Call of Cthulhu: Whispers in the Darkness

    Henri Emmanuel Gratien St Pierre in Where No Man Has Gone Before

    Lord Augustus Cumberbatch in Eclipse Phase
  • Options
    LaemkralLaemkral Captain Punch King Chester, VARegistered User regular
    1. Special Olympics
    2. Folly of man. It just makes me happy to hate hipsters!
    3. Snapping turtle

    Avatar courtesy of MKR, and the strip I appeared in.
  • Options
    Majestic GoatMajestic Goat Registered User regular
    1. getting so angry that you pop a boner. Some kind of boner Hulk ?
    2. police brutality. Sounds so aweful.
    3. Oedipus complex. That just fit right in

Sign In or Register to comment.