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A battle between my heart and my will.
Ethan Smith
Origin name: Beart4toArlington, VARegistered User regular
Origin name: Beart4toArlington, VARegistered User regular
Kinda like the episode of "Rocko's modern life", except I'm not trying to go on a deadly skate rink.
Actually, it's not like that situation at all.
I am a cynic in all ways but one-I am a hopeless romantic when it involves romance, of the old fashion that is really good when you're in a relationship, but creepy as hell when you're not.
Anyways, so I like, no, love would be better, this girl. There is a major distinction between this and other crushes (hey, isn't this true for all of 'em...), that this crush is in no way sexual. The girl I like, though she isn't that attractive, is intensely beautiful. For knowledge on the difference between Beauty and Attractive, compare Patti Smith and Lindsay Lohan.
But yeah, I'm getting off topic. So I love this girl, because she's witty, funny, nice, smart, unique, she's...everything I could ever want.
So, last month, I asked her out. As her reply, she told me she likes me, as a friend.
Now, the 'friend' situation is rather treacherous, because of the fact that, being a junior with most of my friends as seniors, if I don't create a new social circle soon I'll be stuck with a friendless Senior year. I had a friendless 4th grade, and it deteriorated my personality to hell. I don't want this to happen again, so I turned to the girl (louissa), and her friends, who, as one might expect, perfect for me.
After stating that she didn't love me in the way I love her, she left for argentina for half a month. While she was gone, I dealt with my feelings in a rational and orderly manner, and, as a matter of fact, became swift friends with those in Louissa's circle (those that interested me, anyways). However, she came back on Friday, and us and a couple friends saw Borat (w00t library job!) and went to a Pizzeria.
There's something I hadn't noticed about her before-she has a beautiful laugh. The whole time I was walking/sitting next to her, my heart was skipping every second beat and taking a trip up into my throat, to top that off. And afterwards, my mind, all of my preperation for meeting her, all of it fell apart. The last time I was in such a hopeless romance I nearly stalked the girl I loved. This time I vow to myself that I won't ruin any chance of a friendship over my lack of self control.
How do I reconcile this battle? It's obvious isolation would be pointless, as I'll have to meet her if I hang out with her friends.
Man, this probably looks confusing as hell. I'm sorry about that.
Actually, it's not like that situation at all.
I am a cynic in all ways but one-I am a hopeless romantic when it involves romance, of the old fashion that is really good when you're in a relationship, but creepy as hell when you're not.
Anyways, so I like, no, love would be better, this girl. There is a major distinction between this and other crushes (hey, isn't this true for all of 'em...), that this crush is in no way sexual. The girl I like, though she isn't that attractive, is intensely beautiful. For knowledge on the difference between Beauty and Attractive, compare Patti Smith and Lindsay Lohan.
But yeah, I'm getting off topic. So I love this girl, because she's witty, funny, nice, smart, unique, she's...everything I could ever want.
So, last month, I asked her out. As her reply, she told me she likes me, as a friend.
Now, the 'friend' situation is rather treacherous, because of the fact that, being a junior with most of my friends as seniors, if I don't create a new social circle soon I'll be stuck with a friendless Senior year. I had a friendless 4th grade, and it deteriorated my personality to hell. I don't want this to happen again, so I turned to the girl (louissa), and her friends, who, as one might expect, perfect for me.
After stating that she didn't love me in the way I love her, she left for argentina for half a month. While she was gone, I dealt with my feelings in a rational and orderly manner, and, as a matter of fact, became swift friends with those in Louissa's circle (those that interested me, anyways). However, she came back on Friday, and us and a couple friends saw Borat (w00t library job!) and went to a Pizzeria.
There's something I hadn't noticed about her before-she has a beautiful laugh. The whole time I was walking/sitting next to her, my heart was skipping every second beat and taking a trip up into my throat, to top that off. And afterwards, my mind, all of my preperation for meeting her, all of it fell apart. The last time I was in such a hopeless romance I nearly stalked the girl I loved. This time I vow to myself that I won't ruin any chance of a friendship over my lack of self control.
How do I reconcile this battle? It's obvious isolation would be pointless, as I'll have to meet her if I hang out with her friends.
Man, this probably looks confusing as hell. I'm sorry about that.
Ethan Smith on
0
Posts
It's not so much that I reserve hope for getting her in the end (^_^), it's that I like her friends.
Best thing you can do if this is really getting too stressful, is walk away from the situation before things get even more awkward. It's going to be hard at first, but over time, you'll get over her.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
anyway
If you want to hang around with her and her friends, I think the best thing you can do is to go out and meet other girls and maybe you will meet someone else you can go romantic over. Distract the mind, so to say. Things will be awkward, I am sure. If you weren't afraid of ending up friendless, I would suggest to not meet her for a while.
WOAH there. That's a mighty fancy pedestal you're putting this girl on. Try to keep in mind she's not some god-blessed angel of joy and bliss and frolicking kittens. She's got as many flaws as the next person and the two of you are not compatable- she's already told you in no uncertain terms that' she's not interested. You're just as worthwhile as she is.
However, at this point, you really do need to write her off as a romantic interest. If she's not interested, she's unlikely to change her mind, and hounding after her will just a. make you miserable and b. make her uncomfortable, as well as likely screwing things over with the rest of her friends.
It might be a good plan to try to meet people outside her circle for a little while- clubs, hobbies, try chatting to other people around you- etc, so you can take a break from her proximity and get a clean look at the situation.
yeeeaaaahhh qft.
dude, you're a junior in high school. you aren't in love, i promise. you've got a heavy infatuation based on your own (admitted) "sucker for romance" mentality and your own fear of being "alone". i mean, come on, your experience in 4th grade really hurt your personality that much? geez man, lighten uuuuppp.
put down the austen novels and just try and have some fun. i'll tell you one thing: girls don't like guys (especially at that age) who obsess about this kind of stuff. you're a 16-18 year old guy, not a 40 year old woman. act like it.
Try not having any friends for the entirety of the age of 9 (and for a large portion of when you were 10). Try being socially isolated, hell, ridiculed, for two years that early in your life.
It fucks you up, man.
oh come on dude, i was teased, made fun of, and had no friends for virtually all of grade school. 9 and 10? try 5 through 11.
but here's the thing: instead of becoming wah wah i'm a horribly codependant person who seeks validation through friends, i ended up becoming my own person. in high school i was the homecoming king, and not because i sucked up to everybody, but because i decided i was going to have fun and be myself for a change. that's what got me friends, not retarded strategy before my senior year.
here's my advice: you're way too hung up on this. in the long run, what happens during high school doesn't really count for shit. have fun, quit obsessing about how many friends you may or may not have, and live your life. i promise, PROMISE that people will want to hang around that guy more than a needy "hopeless romantic"
I agree. Don't get stuck on one girl, there is plenty out there! Date date date, get laid! You may come across a wonderful girl that you thought never existed before.
When you fall, do you get back up or do you lay there and bitch about it? The same principle applies to life. Just get up, brush yourself off, and keep on walking.
Also, don't sweat what other people think about you. Just be yourself.
A hopeless romantic comes off as desperate and no offense, but all the desperate guys have trouble getting girls because of that clingyness. I used to be like that in high school, but you grow out of it and it is for the better.
Be comfortable in your own skin. Realize that she is not a goddess (even though feelings may suggest otherwise) and be more nonchalant about things.