The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Should I move out?
Darth_fluffy
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Right now, I live with my aunt and sister. Financially, they're very reliant on me. They split the rent ($375) and give me whatever they have leftover for utilities, usually about $60 each. I pay the the rest of the utilities (January's gas bill was $226.11!!!), buy household items like trash bags and dish soap, and food. While they do buy their own food, they eat a fair share of mine too.
Living conditions around here aren't the greatest either. I'll be the first to admit I'm not the tidiest person, but these two are filthy. They also fight on a daily basis. It's seriously driving me crazy. It's always about something silly and petty. I can't stand the temperature in here either. This winter, they've run the heat constantly. It's not that cold here in Oklahoma. During the summer it's even worse--we only have one window unit and it's a piece of shit.
I can't even entertain my friends here, or at least the ones I don't mind seeing this place. They'll argue while my friends are here and bad mouth them when they leave. They complain about a few extra dishes or a bit of noise. And I can't enjoy a drink with my friends or alone. Any time I get ice or coke I'm drinking. While this is usually true, I don't appreciate their snide remarks or tone of voice. I also don't like being accused of coming home completely drunk two or three nights in a row when I haven't had a drink in weeks.
A week ago, a woman at work overheard me bitching about my situation with a friend of mine. She said her roommate was moving out and that she and her boyfriend were looking for a new one. I've only briefly met her boyfriend but they seem like my kind of people. They have a bank account for household expenses including, I think, those common household items I get stuck paying for now, bills, and a bit of food. They have central heat and air. She told me that her current roommate pays $300 per month, but I would probably spend extra on additional food and faster internet.
I'm completely sold on the deal and am ready to move in next month. My only concern is my family. My aunt is physically disabled and bipolar. My seventeen year old sister is an unemployed dropout. My aunt gets SSI and my sister receives social security survivor's benefits until July, so they live on a very fixed income. My aunt also has several loan from local loan companies. If I move out they are going to be royally fucked. They might be able to make it if my sister gets a full-time job immediately. Even then, without a car, life is going to be pretty rough. I had planned on moving out, but not until August or so. I wanted my sister to be a legal adult. At least then she would have no more excuses for herself. As for my aunt, she will probably have to go live in a nursing home.
Living conditions around here aren't the greatest either. I'll be the first to admit I'm not the tidiest person, but these two are filthy. They also fight on a daily basis. It's seriously driving me crazy. It's always about something silly and petty. I can't stand the temperature in here either. This winter, they've run the heat constantly. It's not that cold here in Oklahoma. During the summer it's even worse--we only have one window unit and it's a piece of shit.
I can't even entertain my friends here, or at least the ones I don't mind seeing this place. They'll argue while my friends are here and bad mouth them when they leave. They complain about a few extra dishes or a bit of noise. And I can't enjoy a drink with my friends or alone. Any time I get ice or coke I'm drinking. While this is usually true, I don't appreciate their snide remarks or tone of voice. I also don't like being accused of coming home completely drunk two or three nights in a row when I haven't had a drink in weeks.
A week ago, a woman at work overheard me bitching about my situation with a friend of mine. She said her roommate was moving out and that she and her boyfriend were looking for a new one. I've only briefly met her boyfriend but they seem like my kind of people. They have a bank account for household expenses including, I think, those common household items I get stuck paying for now, bills, and a bit of food. They have central heat and air. She told me that her current roommate pays $300 per month, but I would probably spend extra on additional food and faster internet.
I'm completely sold on the deal and am ready to move in next month. My only concern is my family. My aunt is physically disabled and bipolar. My seventeen year old sister is an unemployed dropout. My aunt gets SSI and my sister receives social security survivor's benefits until July, so they live on a very fixed income. My aunt also has several loan from local loan companies. If I move out they are going to be royally fucked. They might be able to make it if my sister gets a full-time job immediately. Even then, without a car, life is going to be pretty rough. I had planned on moving out, but not until August or so. I wanted my sister to be a legal adult. At least then she would have no more excuses for herself. As for my aunt, she will probably have to go live in a nursing home.
Darth_fluffy on
0
Posts
On the other hand though, be real careful about moving in with people you don't know. It can go well, but if doesn't, it can go real bad.
If I was you? I'd get out of there.
I wouldn't agree to move in with them without spending a lot of time with them the next few weeks. She's cool but I want to get to know her boyfriend.
Yeah, especially if its a co-worker. People are almost never the same inside and outside of work.
But dude, seriously, move out.
Check out my band, click the banner.
They are probably screwed if you move out, but not royally screwed. Yes, your sister could get a job (what does she do with her time otherwise?) But they could also post an ad on craigslist.com or some other roommate-finding service and find somebody to replace you. Heck, you could even help them post the ad. Now what they may find out in the deal is that:
1) Nobody who's not family is going to pay their egregious utility bills;
2) Nobody who's not family is going to want to live in squalor;
3) Nobody who's not family will put up with their bickering.
And THEN they will be royally screwed. That, however, will be their own fault, and perhaps a wakeup call from an external source.
Neither one of them do much of anything all day. They leave the house once or twice a month if they're lucky. My sister is perfectly capable of getting a job but she says our aunt and/or her dad won't let her. This is her excuse for not working, not getting her GED, and not going to a vocational school to learn a useful trade. It's her excuse for everything.
There's no way in hell they are ever going to find someone else to room with.
The woman at work needs someone next month if her roommate moves out on schedule.
I could probably afford to live on my own if I found the right place.
I'm not anybody's damned maid, that's why this house always looks like shit.
Oklahoma is all about the jobs(at least Oklahoma City), with a GED you can get a office job at Dell or Convergys starting out at $8 an hour. But it seems to me somebody needs to tell your sister to get up, get a job(go back to school?) unless she enjoys being a section 8.
If we lived in a larger city such as that, we would all have more opportunities. In our town, about the only place she could work would be Wal-Mart, McDonald's, or maybe a few other small retail or fast food chains. We don't have much else in this town, sadly.
And she should still be able to go back to high school and get an actual diploma. You can usually go back to high school until you're 21.
The point is more that someone needs to kick your sister in the butt and tell her to get a job or finish school. Not knowing her, but from what you said, she seems like one of those people that won't take the first step toward helping herself.
Not sure if it is the same thing you're talking about, but one of the older hotels in our town was turned into apartments for the disabled and elderly. I might look into that for her without her knowledge. It might be somewhere she could afford to live.
FYI, the rent for my uncle is 25$ a month. If he gets a job, it goes to 300$. I imagine they will work on a similiar system.
My sister's still fucked though.
She's got her whole life ahead of her; she's got to learn to get off her lazy ass sometime. It'll be an important life lesson and she'll be better off in the long run.
Okay, well, that's a bullshit excuse. Next?
1) Not necessarily, and
2) Why is this your problem?
On one hand, it sucks to be stuck in a situation like that with family. On the other hand, abusing the relationship generally means a basic lack of respect. I don't know the situations that your aunt and sister are in, but it sounds like they do view you as a live-in maid and that any problem they have they take out on you, in order to avoid their own problems. They think you're a mooch who's in as bad a situation as they are, so they hold you in the same contempt as they do each other.
Tell your friends that you'll move in with them, but don't tell your aunt & sister until the move is a sure thing (aka after the friend moves and once they say "OK you can move in on [x] weekend." I'd give them more than a few days notice, though, so they can save for bills & the like.
If you want a clear conscience, sit down with them and explain the issues you're having. Let them know your plans, and lay down some new rules. Make sure they understand right away that if they go batshit on you, that will only cause you to leave sooner. I don't think it's going to turn them around, but it is the responsible way to handle it. You'll feel a lot better about getting out of there if you've done that first.
Tough shit for her. You have your shit together, and want to better your life. Your sister, on the other hand, is a parasite. She's one of those disgusting members of the proletariat who survive by taking government handouts; handouts for people like her are one reason (among many) that we're forced to pay such high taxes. By helping her you are doing almost as much harm to society are she is. But if you cut her off and she ends up getting a job and going back to school, you're doing a favor for both her and society, and you should have a clean conscience for doing so. And if you cut her off and she doesn't get it together at least you aren't enabling your sister's parasitic behavior.
So, if you're not the only family member, why did you get put in charge of keeping these two afloat?
I think people are right to tell you to move out. If you feel guilty about leaving your aunt & sister in the lurch, maybe the rest of their family can be persuaded to cushion the blow a bit -- at least until they come to terms with your absence.
Just a thought.
To get anywhere in life she needs a highschool diploma though. Getting a job without one isn't fixing the problem, it's just putting a bandaid over it.
But the entire time it seems to me they are stomping all over you.
There needs to be a limit on family/friends kindness for people like these. They are family that are taking you for a ride and until they realise that free rides don't last for that long they wont treat anyone with respect.
Run don't look back.
Satans..... hints.....
Your sister needs a reason to get out of the house and get a job. You moving out could be the kick in the butt that she needs to better her life as well.
I looked up some jobs for your sister, and there's no mention of a requirement for either a high school diploma or GED for employment at Walmart or McDonalds.
In fact, Walmart has a benefit called the "General Education Development (GED) Reimbursement":
"Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. believes that individuals who, for whatever reason, did not receive a high school education deserve an opportunity to obtain their GED. Therefore, the Company will reimburse associates and/or their spouses for books, classes, and/or tests after successful completion of a GED."
So your sister will be able to acquire her GED while at least having a part-time job at Walmart, and when she has successfully completed her GED, she will be completely reimbursed for her expenses in obtaining her GED and have job experience for her resume. Both steps in getting a better job in the future and getting her back on her feet.
As for your aunt, yes, you should really look into those apartments for her and hopefully her rent will be low enough that she'll be able to pay for it herself.
Even if you don't end up moving out with your co-worker and her boyfriend, you need to move out ASAP. It's obvious that your current living situation isn't healthy for anyone involved and it's time that everyone takes a step towards becoming a happier, more independent person.
Here's the website for the McDonalds in Oklahoma: http://www.mcoklahoma.com/, the online Job Application for Walmart: https://hiringcenter.walmartstores.com/OnlineHiringCenter/initialPage.jsp, and more information about other benefits at Walmart, including the GED Reimbursement benefit (under "My Home"): http://walmartstores.com/GlobalWMStoresWeb/navigate.do?catg=605
Thats not true. If you can type or use a touchtone phone, you can get a job paying 15 bucks an hour no problem.
Its totally worth getting one though, unless you just decide to go out and get a college degree or learn a trade.
Check out my band, click the banner.