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Meeting new people
MickeyD
I'm someplace where I don't know where I am.Registered User regular
I'm someplace where I don't know where I am.Registered User regular
Basically I am a few years out of high school, working full time and in some serious relationship trouble at the moment.
Regardless of how that turns out now I am deathly afraid of never meeting anyone else.
It seems like it was so easy in high school to meet people (even though many of them were not worth meeting and made my life hell) but post high school I don't know how I could possibly meet anybody I could like.
I lucked my way into work straight after school, in a corporate environment, So I am pretty much the youngest person by far in the office so anything to do with work is out.
I figure it must be possible, i've read about it.
So PA please tell me how to not turn into a hermit.
Regardless of how that turns out now I am deathly afraid of never meeting anyone else.
It seems like it was so easy in high school to meet people (even though many of them were not worth meeting and made my life hell) but post high school I don't know how I could possibly meet anybody I could like.
I lucked my way into work straight after school, in a corporate environment, So I am pretty much the youngest person by far in the office so anything to do with work is out.
I figure it must be possible, i've read about it.
So PA please tell me how to not turn into a hermit.
You WILL need your hand to angle it in properly, especially the first time.
^ A piece of advice I wish i'd gotten.
^ A piece of advice I wish i'd gotten.
MickeyD on
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On the plus side, you get to choose your own social situation. What do you like to do?
Sucess is going to vary by your city, but check it out. I had the same problem and it worked wonders for me.
It was scary and I was a hermit for a while but that got old. Things may be slow but you've got to suck it up and find some social events to get into (the internet will help you find them) or some places you like and become a regular at said place. Depends greatly on what you like to do, as @EggyToast said.
Try to find a club or activity that you like. If you live around a college, there should be lots. I ended up meeting a group of people at a park playing ultimate frisbee one weekend. Finally after a couple weekends, I got the courage and asked to play and did for a couple months.
If it's for a relationship, don't even start looking until things are finished with the one you're in now...
What worked for me was to just talk to 3 new people a day. Doesnt have to be much but statisticaly wont take you more than a month to have met some new friends.
What worked for me was to just talk to 3 new people a day. Doesnt have to be much but statisticaly wont take you more than a month to have met some new friends.
It's not really about me looking per se, its more i'm scared I wouldn't be able to meet anyone else, and I dont want to stay in an unhappy relationship out of fear.
^ A piece of advice I wish i'd gotten.
also, if you think you don't have enough or social enough interests try getting some other ones. go do things you haven't done before. even if you don't find the activities very interesting you can meet cool people.
Unless you've done it before and know it's terrible, it's better to try and see if you can enjoy yourself and/or meet people rather than sit at home and assume it's going to be terrible while you bemoan a lack of activities.
When I was in Toronto, things were a heck of a lot different. Almost every single friend I met up there I did "cold calling", in which I just came straight up to them out of the blue and started chatting it up in the middle of the city, whether it was a bus, the TTC, a bookstore, you name it. It was waaaaaaaaaaaay easier to meet people up there, I mean holy cow. A city can be brutal when it comes to people giving you the cold shoulder, but it was always fair; if you presented yourself in a good enough light and a pleasant manner, it worked out 9 out of the 10 times attemped.
Honestly I really missed that accessibility; that's usually something that you only get in a college environment
Martial Arts skill could translate well into having the kinesthetic skills for dancing. If you live anywhere near a college or major city you could go to dance classes. Ballroom or salsa is what I'd recommend, though anything should work. Just remember that dancing is a skill, and takes just as much time as martial arts to get good at. Also I should note that you'll probably end up making friends with far more girls than guys when you dance. I mean, there's roughly as many guys as girls but you'll just naturally interact with girls more since you'll be dancing with them.
You shouldn't be in an unhappy relationship...period. And whether you're in one or not, it doesn't change you ability to meet anyone else. Actually...I take that back, it would change a little because now you have more time to go out and meet new people.
This is getting off topic, but I just want to say that there is no value in being in an unhappy relationship. It might give you some comfort or security in the short term....but if you're unhappy and truly think it won't be a lasting relationship, it's just going to make it harder to end things the longer you stay in the relationship.
Back on topic - If Martial arts and videogames are you main interests, try those first. See what martial art activities are out there in your area, dojo's or tournaments.
For videogames, unfortunately there are only 2 PAX's a year, but see if there are local conventions that are similar. I also am in Texas, and there is a videogame anime convention in the Dallas/Fort Worth area every June (but that kinda crowd is usually very videogame oriented).
I'll second EggyToast's comment. It is a lot like the movie Yes with Jim Carrey. The first step is to really have an open mind and try things, especially new things that you might not be to interested in at first. If you go into something close minded and not very interested, not only are you setting yourself up to fail, but your body language won't be very inviting for others to want to get to know you.