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Can't get the job done (sex thread)
Rahant
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'm looking for a little help on this slightly embarrassing problem. I'll admit that I'm in my late twenties and I only just lost my virginity a couple of weeks ago. I have jerked it fairly often in the past though (usually daily, if not sometimes more; although it has tapered off a lot lately). Anyway, I've had a problem with the girl I've been seeing. I love having sex with her, but the first time we had sex, I had a little trouble not only getting it up, but maintaining it, and I couldn't finish. I've had better luck since then with getting it up, and I'm usually able to maintain it, but I still can't seem to finish. Sometimes, even when jerking it lately I've had to concentrate to maintain an erection. All sex has been with a condom. My inability to finish is really getting to her, and is troubling me. Help/advice needed.
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That way you can conserve your sexual tension until its truly needed. Plus it makes orgasms that much better.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
The more people that post here the more people will lime the above post
Satans..... hints.....
It will come on it's own (get it?)
And just tell your girlfriend that this is a new thing for you, and that while it feels good, you're used to orgasm when you're by yourself and that it's a little intimidating to do it with someone else, let alone in someone else. The problem is in your head (unless she's doing something to cause sex to be uncomfortable, of course), and you should tell her so. Say that it feels great and you enjoy it, but this little problem isn't her fault at all. That should make her feel better about it. She's viewing it as a slight against her sexual abilities, most likely, and that should help her feel better.
Stress or worrying will only cause more problems, so just relax and have lube handy. And for goodness sake, stop masturbating until you're able to orgasm with your lady friend.
edited to add: just thought of this, but your problems with getting and maintaining an erection are probably entirely due to the fact that you're uncomfortable with another person seeing you naked. It's similar to the "guy in a locker room" dilemma. A guy is so embarassed and worried about being naked around other guys that the last thing on his mind is sex. What are you two doing now? Is it a "strip in the dark and dig around under the covers" affair, or do you lounge around naked a bit, getting comfortable with each other's bodies? Option B is the way to go in pretty much every situation.
Battle.net: Fireflash#1425
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A lot of this also has to do with the way your penis has been trained. Its used to getting off for the last 10+ years EXCLUSIVELY to the way you jack it. It will take a little time for it to get into the new feel. Also, some guys just lose the erection once the condom goes on.
So yeah, cut back on the masturbation a lot. When you do gotta do it, treat it like a dress rehearsal; wear a condom.
You may want to experiement with different positions or variations of positions. For example, missionary works way better for me if my girlfriend puts her legs up. Doggy style will be tighter if her legs are together rather than apart, and so on.
The more you stress about "omg whenthefuckamigoingtocome" the more likely it is that Mr. Happy will go flappy.
Just enjoy the moment (hopefully more than one).
Also, if your lady is putting you under stress to spooge, then it's not going to help.
Ask her not to pressure you, and to just enjoy the pleasure. Things will work out naturally.
Be creative. Have fun. Use lube. Enjoy it!
Watch the ring itself on the condom, closing off that major blood vessel on the underside of the shaft will cause no end of problemos. Fit is important, and providing the conditions are right (reliable pill, tests, monagamy blah blah blah) perhaps see about doing away with condoms altogether.
Medications abound. Get your blood pressure checked, cut back on the smoking, try some light exercise, make sure you can keep up a light jog for as long as you plan to have sex.
How about guilt? Feeling guilty about doin it? Does she remind you of your mom? Is it a straight up situation, or did it come with baggage etc - all these things will effect your ability to stay in the game. Quite often Captian Happy needs a life worthy of saluting.
Here's a recent one - does she have small children? Interestingly enough young children emit a hormone that causes testosterone levels in prime males to drop by nearly a third. This severely impacts the male sex drive. If so, see a doc, there are supplements, and you can exercise more.
Don't drink too much before hand, make sure the engine is revved before you try popping the clutch, and stop watching porn/your sexual stimulant of choice. There's only so much feelgood chemistry in your brain to go around, and if you spend it on alternatives you won't have enough for the bigtime. Akin to letting yourself get hungry before you hit the Sunday Dinner.
Are you on any anti-depressents? Major bone killer. Staying up too late? Same deal - most people don't get enough sleep, and it hurts them in the sack.
If all else fails there are cock-rings, pumps and viagra - mechanical or medical depending on your flavor. Best of luck to ya, giddyup!