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new spooky thread... or IS IT???

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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    Nerindil wrote: »
    Yeah, I really like the whole "half found footage, half reenactment" angle they went with. It's an interesting narrative device that I'd like to see used again.

    Some of the shots reminded me of the Ang Lee Hulk movie. I hated that movie, but the idea of showing the same scene from multiple angles at the same time was really cool. The side-by-side "real" and reenactment shots in Fourth Kind were a nice touch.

    Speaking of, why aren't there more alien-themed horror films? The X-Files had some really scary moments, I'm surprised more people haven't gone for that.

    Anywho, how about another story?
    !MESSAGE BEGINS
    We made a mistake. That is the simple, undeniable truth of the matter, however painful it might be. The flaw was not in our Observatories, for those machines were as perfect as we could make them, and they showed us only the unfiltered light of truth. The flaw was not in the Predictor, for it is a device of pure, infallible logic, turning raw data into meaningful information without the taint of emotion or bias. No, the flaw was within us, the Orchestrators of this disaster, the sentients who thought themselves beyond such failings. We are responsible.
    It began a short while ago, as these things are measured, less than 6^6 Deeli ago, though I suspect our systems of measure will mean very little by the time anyone receives this transmission. We detected faint radio signals from a blossoming intelligence 2^14 Deelis outward from the Galactic Core, as photons travel. At first crude and unstructured, these leaking broadcasts quickly grew in complexity and strength, as did the messages they carried. Through our Observatories we watched a world of strife and violence, populated by a barbaric race of short-lived, fast breeding vermin. They were brutal and uncultured things which stabbed and shot and burned each other with no regard for life or purpose. Even their concepts of Art spoke of conflict and pain. They divided themselves according to some bizarre cultural patterns and set their every industry to cause of death.
    They terrified us, but we were older and wiser and so very far away, so we did not fret. Then we watched them split the atom and breach the heavens within the breadth of one of their single, short generations, and we began to worry. When they began actively transmitting messages and greetings into space, we felt fear and horror. Their transmissions promised peace and camaraderie to any who were listening, but we had watched them for too long to buy into such transparent deceptions. They knew we were out here, and they were coming for us.
    The Orchestrators consulted the Predictor, and the output was dire. They would multiply and grow and flood out of their home system like some uncountable tide of Devourer worms, consuming all that lay in their path. It might take 6^8 Deelis, but they would destroy us if left unchecked. With aching carapaces we decided to act, and sealed our fate.
    The Gift of Mercy was 8^4 strides long with a mouth 2/4 that in diameter, filled with many 4^4 weights of machinery, fuel, and ballast. It would push itself up to 2/8th of light speed with its onboard fuel, and then begin to consume interstellar Primary Element 2/2 to feed its unlimited acceleration. It would be traveling at nearly light speed when it hit. They would never see it coming. Its launch was a day of mourning, celebration, and reflection. The horror of the act we had committed weighed heavily upon us all; the necessity of our crime did little to comfort us.
    The Gift had barely cleared the outer cometary halo when the mistake was realized, but it was too late. The Gift could not be caught, could not be recalled or diverted from its path. The architects and work crews, horrified at the awful power of the thing upon which they labored, had quietly self-terminated in droves, walking unshielded into radiation zones, neglecting proper null pressure safety or simple ceasing their nutrient consumption until their metabolic functions stopped. The appalling cost in lives had forced the Orchestrators to streamline the Gift’s design and construction. There had been no time for the design or implementation of anything beyond the simple, massive engines and the stabilizing systems.
    We could only watch in shame and horror as the light of genocide faded into infrared against the distant void.
    They grew, and they changed, in a handful of lifetimes they abolished war, abandoned their violent tendencies and turned themselves to the grand purposes of life and Art. We watched them remake first themselves, and then their world. Their frail, soft bodies gave way to gleaming metals and plastics, they unified their people through an omnipresent communications grid and produced Art of such power and emotion, the likes of which the Galaxy has never seen before, or again, because of us.
    They converted their home world into a paradise (by their standards) and many 10^6s of them poured out into the surrounding system with a rapidity and vigor that we could only envy. With bodies built to survive every environment from the day lit surface of their innermost world, to the atmosphere of their largest gas giant and the cold void in-between, they set out to sculpt their system into something beautiful. At first we thought them simple miners, stripping the rocky planets and moons for vital resources, but then we began to see the purpose to their constructions, the artworks carved into every surface, and traced across the system in glittering lights and dancing fusion trails. And still, our terrible Gift approached.
    They had less than 2^2 Deeli to see it, following so closely on the tail of its own light. In that time, oh so brief even by their fleeting lives, more than 10^10 sentients prepared for death. Lovers exchanged last words, separated by worlds and the tyranny of light speed. Their planet-side engineers worked frantically to build sufficient transmission infrastructure to upload the countless masses with the necessary neural modifications, while those above dumped lifetimes of music and literature from their databanks to make room for passengers. Those lacking the required hardware or the time to acquire it consigned themselves to death, lashed out in fear and pain, or simply went about their lives as best they could under the circumstances.
    The Gift arrived suddenly, the light of its impact visible in our skies, shining bright and cruel even to the un-augmented ocular receptor. We watched and we wept for our victims, dead so many Deelis before the light of their doom had even reached us. Many 6^4s of those who had been directly or even tangentially involved in the creation of the Gift sealed their spiracles with paste as a final penance for the small roles they had played in this atrocity. The light dimmed, the dust cleared, and our Observatories refocused upon the place where their shining blue world had once hung in the void, and found only dust and the pale gleam of an orphaned moon, wrapped in a thin, burning wisp of atmosphere that had once belonged to its parent.
    Radiation and relativistic shrapnel had wiped out much of the inner system, and continent sized chunks of molten rock carried screaming ghosts outward at interstellar escape velocities, damned to wander the great void for an eternity. The damage was apocalyptic, but not complete, from the shadows of the outer worlds, tiny points of light emerged, thousands of fusion trails of single ships and world ships and everything in between, many 10^6s of survivors in flesh and steel and memory banks, ready to rebuild. For a few moments we felt relief, even joy, and we were filled with the hope that their culture and Art would survive the terrible blow we had dealt them. Then came their message, tightly focused at OUR star, transmitted simultaneously by hundreds of their ships.
    “We know you are out there, and we are coming for you.”
    !MESSAGE ENDS

    Not exactly a very scary monsterman story, but it always makes my skin crawl.

    I like it. This works well because while we know little of the narrator's people we know their adversary very well.

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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    I just finished re-reading John Dies At The End

    good stuff

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    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    Uh, mensch, as a dude who will usually pick a good horror movie over almost any other genre, that movie is pretty... Unnerving. Shall we say.

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    DeadfallDeadfall I don't think you realize just how rich he is. In fact, I should put on a monocle.Registered User regular
    John Dies at the End, as polarizing as it is on the internet, is one of my favorite books ever. I'm semi-engaged in the ARG out now for his sequel. It isn't terribly complicated, but it's definitely on the lighter side.

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    xbl - HowYouGetAnts
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Is it polarizing?

    I mean I guess on the internet anything can be polarizing but I wasn't aware of this particular case

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited May 2012
    Wanna see a horror movie where all the injuries/deaths that happen are due to people having accidents while trying to get away from the ghosts while freaking the hell out, and then finally somebody is all "FUCK THESE GHOSTS! COME AT ME, BOO!"

    and the ghostly spirits just float right through him and nothing happens because ghost can't hurt people

    Weaver on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    whenever i watch ghost shows, usually like fifteen minutes in, i realize that these are just people yelling at empty rooms and it becomes hilarious

    intellectually i know it the whole time but i'm always struck by the humor of the situation after a few minutes of it

    reposig.jpg
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    NerindilNerindil Registered User regular
    Weaver wrote: »
    Wanna see a horror movie where all the injuries/deaths that happen are due to people having accidents while trying to get away from the ghosts while freaking the hell out, and then finally somebody is all "FUCK THESE GHOSTS! COME AT ME, BOO!"

    and the ghostly spirits just float right through him and nothing happens because ghost can't hurt people

    Ok, not quite the same thing, but have you seen Dale and Tucker vs. Evil?

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    Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    Fandyien wrote: »
    whenever i watch ghost shows, usually like fifteen minutes in, i realize that these are just people yelling at empty rooms and it becomes hilarious

    intellectually i know it the whole time but i'm always struck by the humor of the situation after a few minutes of it

    this is why i really love watching ghost adventures

    the entire spectacle of it is just so incredible

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    TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    edited May 2012
    Jackie Chan vs Final Destination

    TrippyJing on
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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    Jackie Chan vs Final Destination

    for some reason i pictured him fighting the grim reaper with a mop bucket

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    Jackie Chan vs Final Destination

    omg

    another thing I'd like to see,

    the horrible disfigured ghost wretch comes screaming at you, and you just clock it one on the jaw

    All "That's right, being corporeal works both ways!"

    have not seen tucker & dale

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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    so i'm watching Jack Frost right now and a snowman literally just ran a guy over in a car

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    NerindilNerindil Registered User regular
    edited May 2012
    Weaver wrote: »
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    Jackie Chan vs Final Destination

    omg

    another thing I'd like to see,

    the horrible disfigured ghost wretch comes screaming at you, and you just clock it one on the jaw

    All "That's right, being corporeal works both ways!"

    have not seen tucker & dale

    Two well intentioned good ol' boys (one of which is Alan Tudyk) and a bunch of stupid, over excitable, accident prone college kids. It's the only horror comedy I've ever seen that's actually funny. It's on Netflix if you've got it.

    Nerindil on
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    Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    tucker and dale is really good

    it also has the secretary from 30 rock, who continues to be unbearably pretty

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    Johnny ChopsockyJohnny Chopsocky Scootaloo! We have to cook! Grillin' HaysenburgersRegistered User regular
    Vann Diras wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    whenever i watch ghost shows, usually like fifteen minutes in, i realize that these are just people yelling at empty rooms and it becomes hilarious

    intellectually i know it the whole time but i'm always struck by the humor of the situation after a few minutes of it

    this is why i really love watching ghost adventures

    the entire spectacle of it is just so incredible

    "COME AT ME, GHOST! COME AT ME!"
    "OH MAN I JUST FELT SOMETHING"
    "MAN I'M GONNA KICK THIS GHOSTS ASS!"
    "And if you listen to this super scientific recording, you can hear the ghost pussying out like a little bitch."

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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    just look at these guys, they positively ooze douche

    ghost-adventures-season-4.jpg

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    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    the ghosts are in his hair

    holy shit

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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    ghost adventures

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    ReginaldReginald When I am Pres., I will create the Department of ______Registered User regular
    The ghosts are coming from his makeup... strangely they look exactly like the 3 main ghost adventurers themselves, with even the exact same clothing.

    I am freaked the fuck out now guys. Guys?

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    FeriluceFeriluce Adrift on the morning star. Aberdeen, WARegistered User regular
    That middle guy looks like he's about to go super saiyan.

    XBox Live= LordFeriluce
    Steam: Feriluce
    Battle.net: Feriluce#1995
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    Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    man he isn't even wearing his sweet affliction tee in that promo shot

    seriously these dudes are bro as hell and it is awesome

    my favorite parts are when one feels something, and exchange that follows is always

    "woah bro did you feel that bro woah did you feel that"

    "what? oh yeah man yeah i did dude"

    "look at my arm bro i've got goosebumps man, did you feel that?"

    "oh yeah man totally dude we all felt it"

    "dude bro look at my arm"

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    Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    it is fucking hysterical

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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    there's a scene in a newer season where the main guy is dressed ridiculously (more then usual), walking down the middle of the street in some town in Nevada just all

    "everyone's staring at me bros, i bet they don't see dudes in black and red around here much! <smugface> SUP LADIES"

    it's like haunted frat house

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    Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    "i've got goosebumps bro"

    it gets me every time

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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    vann go watch the episodes of season six on youtube

    there's one where they just derail the whole thing for awhile so they can ride around with a cop and film him arresting prostitutes it is just absolutely bizzare and out of context

    and then the hooker is a fan

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    Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    Fandyien wrote: »
    vann go watch the episodes of season six on youtube

    there's one where they just derail the whole thing for awhile so they can ride around with a cop and film him arresting prostitutes it is just absolutely bizzare and out of context

    and then the hooker is a fan

    oh my god no way

    that sounds better than the time they went pan handling for gold half the episode, then used the gold to taunt the ghosts of supposed prospectors that haunted the place

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    Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    holy shit i don't know what episode this is

    but he's wearing a full on like affliction cowboy getup

    what is going on

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    now i want to see James Vega fighting ghosts

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    Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    oh god he is seriously wearing some crazy affliction-esque cowboy costume. black cowboy hat, black shit with some ridiculous skull and roses design embroidered on the back, tucked into black pants with a studded belt

    and he is creeped out because people keep looking at him funny

    it's like i turned on twilight zone by mistake

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    NerindilNerindil Registered User regular
    These ghosts can't even handle me bro

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    thenshewaslikethenshewaslike Registered User regular
    My husband put the original Ghost Adventures documentary on last night (after we finished watching Tucker and Dale, coincidentally), and I just couldn't do it. The show is more fun?

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    Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    i actually just found out about movie a few days ago

    apparently it takes itself much more seriously or something, i don't know, but yeah i heard it wasn't as fun

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    TasteticleTasteticle Registered User regular
    edited May 2012
    Here is my lame attempt at an impromptu CREEPY STORY
    '.....Wait. What time is it?' I think to myself. I look frantically for a clock. I am out of breath.

    5:00

    It's dark out. When did it get dark? More importantly where in the hell am I?

    My eyes scan the room.

    I seem to be in a kitchen. Drawers are open.

    Shit. Blood.

    That's when I see him.

    Lying there in the middle of the stained floor in a pool of blood is a man I have never met before, horribly beaten and in tattered clothes.

    He's not moving.

    I want to scream from the shock of it but my frantic panicking is drowning out my more sensible reactions. I check myself for blood.

    My shirt is covered. So are my hands. I wipe my hands down my shirt. They hurt.

    'Fuck', I think, 'Fuck what is happening?'

    I hear a dull thud come from a room close by, followed by a horrible sound.

    I start to panic and begin searching through the open drawers for anything I can arm myself with.

    There is blood all over the utensils. I move my hands through them more frantically.

    I cut my hand on a sharp knife. "SHIT!"

    I hold up my hand too look at it, it is cut all over. It hurts.

    My eyes dart around the room, looking for a cloth.

    I notice the window.

    It's dark out.

    '.....Wait. What time is it?'

    Tasteticle on

    Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
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    MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    Fandyien wrote: »
    just look at these guys, they positively ooze douche

    ghost-adventures-season-4.jpg

    "Manipulate MY hair ..."
    Not all of this you well get this

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    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    fuck all you guys for suggesting grave encounters

    shit is fucked

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    Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    Once again my strategy of reading Wikipedia synopsises and just pretending I know the movie has paid off handsomely

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    MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    Party pooper

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
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    NerindilNerindil Registered User regular
    Vann Diras wrote: »
    Once again my strategy of reading Wikipedia synopsises and just pretending I know the movie has paid off handsomely

    I've done that for a couple of movies. A while back I had a friend recommend me a movie called Megan is Missing. I figure, why not, I'll check it out. I google it, see the images related to it and resolve to never let that person near any kids I ever have.

    I can take a lot but... Goddamn.

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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Vann Diras wrote: »
    oh god he is seriously wearing some crazy affliction-esque cowboy costume. black cowboy hat, black shit with some ridiculous skull and roses design embroidered on the back, tucked into black pants with a studded belt

    and he is creeped out because people keep looking at him funny

    it's like i turned on twilight zone by mistake

    I had an archaeology professor who would wear khakis and poorly-fitting shirts and a fanny pack in class, but then a couple times I ran into him out on the town and he'd have one of those skull-and-roses shirts and tight black jeans and fancy boots

    It was weird

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