Options

Bad Kung-Fu - Duel of the Tough: 56k flee.

2»

Posts

  • Options
    SoulburnerSoulburner Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Tias wrote: »
    While browsing those amazon links I found this...

    snip

    The first testament says "an eye for an eye." The second testament says "love thy neighbour." The third testament KICKS ASS!

    It mixes kung-fu action and biblical prophecy, I must have this.

    Man, this movie is so bad. Jesus decides that he's had enough with preachin', and it's time to take the fight to the enemy.

    Who is the enemy?

    Lesbian vampires.

    I shit you not. Jesus gets a haircut and some piercings, then fights some girls wearing terrible fake fangs and goth outfits.

    Oh, and the whole thing is a rock opera, so it breaks into song at ridiculous points.

    Seriously, it's awesomely terrible.

    Other than the line "Consider this the 13th station of the cross," before 50 atheists jump out the back of a van and kung-fu fight Jesus, the theme song is the best part. They offer it for free on their web-page: http://www.odessafilmworks.com/jcvh/everybody.mp3

    Soulburner on
  • Options
    ReTardisReTardis Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Soulburner wrote: »
    Tias wrote: »
    While browsing those amazon links I found this...

    snip

    The first testament says "an eye for an eye." The second testament says "love thy neighbour." The third testament KICKS ASS!

    It mixes kung-fu action and biblical prophecy, I must have this.

    Man, this movie is so bad. Jesus decides that he's had enough with preachin', and it's time to take the fight to the enemy.

    Who is the enemy?

    Lesbian vampires.

    I shit you not. Jesus gets a haircut and some piercings, then fights some girls wearing terrible fake fangs and goth outfits.

    Oh, and the whole thing is a rock opera, so it breaks into song at ridiculous points.

    Seriously, it's awesomely terrible.

    Other than the line "Consider this the 13th station of the cross," before 50 atheists jump out the back of a van and kung-fu fight Jesus, the theme song is the best part. They offer it for free on their web-page: http://www.odessafilmworks.com/jcvh/everybody.mp3

    It's all pretty bad, I admit

    I also may be biased as to its' "so bad it's good" qualities, as I've only seen it twice; both times with a lot of friends, and all of us were fairly drunk and in a "Do-it-yourself MS3TK" kind of mood.

    So, I guess what I'm saying is everything is better with booze.

    ReTardis on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    boob you gotta order these movies so we can watch them

    ninjaturtlesssssscy3.jpg

    I was disappointed when I looked closer and found that those werent pepper-shaker nunchuks. That would have been awesome.

    Synthetic Orange on
  • Options
    chronoboundgearchronoboundgear Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Soulburner wrote: »
    Tias wrote: »
    While browsing those amazon links I found this...

    snip

    The first testament says "an eye for an eye." The second testament says "love thy neighbour." The third testament KICKS ASS!

    It mixes kung-fu action and biblical prophecy, I must have this.

    Man, this movie is so bad. Jesus decides that he's had enough with preachin', and it's time to take the fight to the enemy.

    Who is the enemy?

    Lesbian vampires.

    I shit you not. Jesus gets a haircut and some piercings, then fights some girls wearing terrible fake fangs and goth outfits.

    Oh, and the whole thing is a rock opera, so it breaks into song at ridiculous points.

    Seriously, it's awesomely terrible.

    Other than the line "Consider this the 13th station of the cross," before 50 atheists jump out the back of a van and kung-fu fight Jesus, the theme song is the best part. They offer it for free on their web-page: http://www.odessafilmworks.com/jcvh/everybody.mp3

    It's all pretty bad, I admit

    I also may be biased as to its' "so bad it's good" qualities, as I've only seen it twice; both times with a lot of friends, and all of us were fairly drunk and in a "Do-it-yourself MS3TK" kind of mood.

    So, I guess what I'm saying is everything is better with booze.

    God I wish my friends knew what MS3TK was and were good at doing it, or at least wanted to try doing it. I miss this show greatly and feel that I need to start one. I'm off to steal a camcorder.

    chronoboundgear on
    Xbox 360 Tag: Earthbound King

    Every fights a food fight when you're a cannibal.
  • Options
    GunstarGunstar Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    thread needs more youtube

    Gunstar on
    greencall.gifredfist.gif
    Xbox : gunst4r
  • Options
    AnimalplanetAnimalplanet Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo_m5wL7m0U

    Shaolin Soccer...yes.

    I love this movie. I honestly think the special effects are badass.

    Animalplanet on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    chronoboundgearchronoboundgear Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo_m5wL7m0U

    Shaolin Soccer...yes.

    I love this movie. I honestly think the special effects are badass.

    I've actually seen this movie. I can't believe Spike or some random TV channel actually showed this at some point last year, because normally movies this good aren't allowed to exist on cable.

    chronoboundgear on
    Xbox 360 Tag: Earthbound King

    Every fights a food fight when you're a cannibal.
  • Options
    CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Borommakot wrote: »
    The best super cheap kung fu movie I've ever bought has been The Guy With Secret Kung Fu. The two for a dollar bin has given me some of the greatest movies ever. Here's the review.

    "The Guy With Secret Kung Fu" is actually two guys, brothers in fact, and their kung fu is no secret, it is in full effect as they fight to stop the oppression and corruption of the Ching Dynasty. Meng Fei ("Prodigal Boxer") is in top form as one half of the rebellious brothers as he fights corrupt judges, evil warlords, and some really big invincible zombie.

    "Guy With Secret Kung Fu" has comedy, horror, and non-stop kung fu action!


    Oh man I so wanted to make this thread for a long time. Conveniently enough, I bought and watched "The Guy With Secret Kung Fu" for $1 this very day, along with Bruce Li "The Invincible".

    I freaking LOVE this old kung-fu crap. In "The Guy With Secret Kung Fu" the sound man just went totally nuts. There's a fat guy that they literally play clips of a pig oinking when he's supposed to be grunting, and anytime someone jumps high/gets thrown they play the sound of a freaking WW2 fighter flying by. Not to mention the end boss who ribbits.

    On an awesomer note, I bought a 9 movie pack for only 5 dollars at Wal-Mart. 3 Bruce Lee movies (2 are just documentaries), 3 Sonny Chiba movies, and 3 random ridiculous other old ones. The Sonny Chiba "Street Fighter" movies are definitely the coolest of the bunch. Besides the radical theme song, Sonny plays an anti-hero who, in the beginning of the first movie, murders a dude and sells his sister into prostitution because they didn't pay him the money they owed for breaking their other brother out of death row. The ending to "The Street Fighter" is SO FREAKING AWESOME.

    Edit: Shaolin Soccer is kind of hit and miss with who likes it, but I yet to find a friend/family member who doesn't enjoy Kung Fu Hustle.

    Crashmo on
    polar-bearsig.jpg
  • Options
    AnimalplanetAnimalplanet Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    What was the name of that totally ridiculous pseudo-kung-fu movie with Ben Stiller in it?

    Animalplanet on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Legend of the drunken master is a fucking awesome kungfu movie so go fuck yourself.

    Filler Inc. on
  • Options
    RegrettableRegrettable Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Bruce Lee's Fists of Fury (aka The Big Boss) is pretty awesome. No particularly amazing fight scenes but the main llove interest is his cousin, so hot.

    Regrettable on
    cthulhusigcopy-1.png
  • Options
    booblet0booblet0 Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Filler wrote: »
    Legend of the drunken master is a fucking awesome kungfu movie so go fuck yourself.
    with kung-fu, especially old kung-fu, the lines between good and bad are so blurry. when i say 'bad,' i probably mean 'good,' just, bad. yeah. <3 you sir.

    edit: oh, and it should be noted that "legend of the drunken master," which is awesome, is in fact the 1994 remake of the original "drunken master." legend = pretty own, original = pretty own in an awesomely bad way. we're talking about two different movies.

    booblet0 on
  • Options
    DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Iron Monkey is my favorite b-grade kung fu film.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • Options
    PillsAreNicePillsAreNice Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    DRUNKEN WU-TANG.

    I'd post a picture of the video box cover, but it's of a couple characters that don't even appear in the film.

    I really can't describe the film properly, not even the BadMovies.org summary does it justice. It's just one of those things you have to see to believe. Unfortunately, it's not available on DVD, and finding copies of it are nigh-impossible.

    This man tells the truth.

    A few of the actors play multiple characters - I believe Ratface is also kung fu Granny. They made at least two other movies in this series, all of which are awesome.

    PillsAreNice on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    See my game reviews at: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=strangegamer
  • Options
    Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    booblet0 wrote: »
    Filler wrote: »
    Legend of the drunken master is a fucking awesome kungfu movie so go fuck yourself.
    with kung-fu, especially old kung-fu, the lines between good and bad are so blurry. when i say 'bad,' i probably mean 'good,' just, bad. yeah. <3 you sir.

    edit: oh, and it should be noted that "legend of the drunken master," which is awesome, is in fact the 1994 remake of the original "drunken master." legend = pretty own, original = pretty own in an awesomely bad way. we're talking about two different movies.

    We have reached an understanding, lets celebrate with the adding of chocolate to milk.

    Filler Inc. on
  • Options
    booblet0booblet0 Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z4s6zFVm9qI

    godfrey ho's Ninja Thunderbolt. the man shits gold; it's shit, but it's gold.

    this will be a mandatory viewing in the near future.

    edit: also, witness the awful that is Ninja Kill - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UwiDztfFHo&NR

    booblet0 on
  • Options
    WeretacoWeretaco Cubicle Gangster Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    When I was taking game development at artschool we had a batshit crazy guy teaching us game design (he's the one who came up with Snax'N'Jaxson) http://www.badvideogames.com/sotw/snax/snax.html

    As a class we had to come up with a game design doc for a licensed game based on Big Trouble in Little China. He was big into martial arts movies so we got to watch a bunch of them for "research". It was a great class.

    He'd also fire up hotornot.com on the 30' screen during breaks and have us vote on women as a class.

    Weretaco on
    Unofficial PA IRC chat: #paforums at irc.slashnet.org
  • Options
    LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited March 2007
    Meissnerd wrote: »

    I pissed myself laughing when he fell into the river while trying to get a drink, right after a scene of him beating the crap out of someone.

    Larlar on
  • Options
    Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    What the fuck was that? Why do people put cripples in movies?

    I thougt cripples were people who were half paralyzed.

    Filler Inc. on
  • Options
    MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Larlar wrote: »
    Meissnerd wrote: »

    I pissed myself laughing when he fell into the river while trying to get a drink, right after a scene of him beating the crap out of someone.

    He punches through so many stomachs, it's glorious. But I loved it when he grabbed the dudes intestines from his stomach, and proceeded to choke him with them.

    Meissnerd on
  • Options
    GOJIRA!GOJIRA! Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I qualify for handicapped parking, but I can walk.

    Just can't run or I'll fall on my face eventually.

    GOJIRA! on
    "We are cursed," said Iyad Sarraj, a Gaza psychiatrist and a human rights activist. "Our leaders are either Israeli collaborators, asses, or mentally unstable."
    Sounds vaguely familiar...
  • Options
    booblet0booblet0 Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    a high school teacher i know uses a motorized wheelchair, 'cause she's gimpy. we call her Zippy, the Go-Cart Queen.

    i think cripples and kung-fu are a winning combination.

    booblet0 on
  • Options
    LardalishLardalish Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    booblet0 wrote: »
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z4s6zFVm9qI

    godfrey ho's Ninja Thunderbolt. the man shits gold; it's shit, but it's gold.

    this will be a mandatory viewing in the near future.

    edit: also, witness the awful that is Ninja Kill - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UwiDztfFHo&NR

    Wait..... wait...


    Did he fucking teleport at the end there?


    Also, I might have to get that crippled masters and jesus christ vampire slayer movies cause man, I was laughing so hard just from hearing the set up.

    Lardalish on
  • Options
    Liquid BlueLiquid Blue Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    You guys haven't seen Riki-Oh yet, have you?

    I showed it to booblet along with Legend of Drunken Master; it's so gory and cheesy it's a bowl of pure awesome:


    http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Riki-Oh%3A+The+Story+of+Ricky


    After finding it on youtube I've also discovered that it's an anime series, but the anime won't nearly be as great as the live action film. Must see.

    Liquid Blue on
    “We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them” - Thucydides
    "The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.” - Thucydides
  • Options
    PillsAreNicePillsAreNice Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Master of The Flying Guillotine

    A one-armed man enters into a fighting competition with kung fu fighters from all over the world and manages to win, all while being chased by a blind man with a portable guillotine. This movie is pretty racist, and said to be the inspiration for the Street Fighter games.

    The battle with the Indian fighter will seem familer
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGkn8TFaySg]

    Fight with the blind guillotine master
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRaWcMdDf3U

    The Japanese fighter is named Fights-With-No-Knife, and guess what he fights with? A hidden knife.

    PillsAreNice on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    See my game reviews at: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=strangegamer
  • Options
    booblet0booblet0 Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Master of The Flying Guillotine

    A one-armed man enters into a fighting competition with kung fu fighters from all over the world and manages to win, all while being chased by a blind man with a portable guillotine. This movie is pretty racist, and said to be the inspiration for the Street Fighter games.

    The battle with the Indian fighter will seem familer
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGkn8TFaySg]

    Fight with the blind guillotine master
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRaWcMdDf3U

    The Japanese fighter is named Fights-With-No-Knife, and guess what he fights with? A hidden knife.

    that second clip is absolute win. the guillotine master's guillotine makes bullet sounds.

    booblet0 on
  • Options
    chronoboundgearchronoboundgear Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Speaking of drunk masters:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ikH9ZRcF2Q

    chronoboundgear on
    Xbox 360 Tag: Earthbound King

    Every fights a food fight when you're a cannibal.
Sign In or Register to comment.