Club PA 2.0 has arrived! If you'd like to access some extra PA content and help support the forums, check it out at patreon.com/ClubPA
The image size limit has been raised to 1mb! Anything larger than that should be linked to. This is a HARD limit, please do not abuse it.
Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

My Sci-Fi Webcomic : Nagori Apocalyptic Heritage (NAH)

clafann1clafann1 Registered User
edited June 2012 in Artist's Corner
I just completed Chapter 1 yesterday.
A story about an artifact found deep on a silver mine. It's origin is unknown but in fact it's an alien artifact left on Earth millions of years ago. A pair of scientists and their young daughter are traveling to the mine to do some research. They're 200km away but their fate is already being written...

Please check the pages below.

clafann1 on
mariobrosb4mariohos

Posts

  • amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    You need to post the actual image files here if you're looking for critique.


    Arch wrote: »

    I never expected this burn from captain bushmeat
  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    Hello, welcome to the Artist's Corner!

    The forum dynamic in this sub-thread is that people post their art directly into the thread instead of linking it, this way, you will get more critiques. We don't really like when people use our board to drive traffic to their page or gain readership, this is called "site whoring".

    If you are looking for critiques on the creative and technical aspect of your comic, this is the place. If you just wanna showcase it, the thread runs the risk of being locked.

  • clafann1clafann1 Registered User
    PAges:
    Here are the pages:
    manga-and-comics-chapter-cover-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg
    manga-and-comics-page-original.jpg

  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited June 2012
    I can see you put a lot of effort in to this! But, I feel that the halftone filter and speed lines are too much. Moderation is better, otherwise it looks like you're just using it to fill up space or use it as a substitute for a proper background.

    MagicToaster on
  • ProspicienceProspicience The Raven King DenvemoloradoRegistered User regular
    I can see you put a lot of effort in to this! But, I feel that the halftone filter and speed lines are too much. Moderation is better, otherwise it looks like you're just using it to fill up space or use it as a substitute for a proper background.

    I agree and it's a shame because the proper backgrounds that are drawn are (in my opinion) the strongest part of the artwork.

  • zollmaniaczollmaniac Registered User regular
    I can see you put a lot of effort in to this! But, I feel that the halftone filter and speed lines are too much. Moderation is better, otherwise it looks like you're just using it to fill up space or use it as a substitute for a proper background.

    I agree and it's a shame because the proper backgrounds that are drawn are (in my opinion) the strongest part of the artwork.

    Backgrounds are definitely the strongest part of the artwork. Keep drawing and practicing (outside of drawing the actual strip). I feel like the later work is rushed? It seems like the people are not as well drawn as they were in the beginning (prior to the explosion that wiped out the town). That being said, let the drawing do the talking. The panels during the explosion where you explained what was happening felt very weird to me. If it was suppose to be someone telling me about it... that didn't come through.

    I would also recommend getting someone to read over and edit your script. I'm guessing English isn't your first language which might explain some of the strange phrasing, but a second set of eyes will help with that and also help you make a stronger story. Right now, I don't understand your story.

  • clafann1clafann1 Registered User
    I set this comic as complete, I'm out of reasons to do more. It's not like it would ever make me win money.

  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    So, why are you posting this in an art forum that exist to provide constructive critism? Did you just want to show us your comic?

  • clafann1clafann1 Registered User
    Please remove this thread, serves no purpose anymore :)

  • FANTOMASFANTOMAS Flan ArgentavisRegistered User regular
    clafann1 wrote: »
    Please remove this thread, serves no purpose anymore :)

    it never did :)

    zollmaniac
Sign In or Register to comment.