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Blerrrrgh (warning: this thread is gross)

joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class TraitorSmoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
edited July 2012 in Social Entropy++
I have acquired a particularly nasty stomach virus that makes me vomit at least once every couple hours. I keep surprising myself by what comes out of my mouth since I am not eating anything, and I figured eventually it would just be water or stomach acid or some such! I tried eating crackers yesterday but that just made this nasty whitish paste come out instead of easy liquid upchuck. The worst part is that I have to brush my teeth after every time I do the technicolor yawn which means I'm wasting time spent not worshiping at the porcelain altar. Occasionally I'll be halfway through brushing my teeth and it's time to barf again. So I'm going to have to send my wife to the store for more toothpaste soon.

Tell me about some of your worst sick experiences, SE++. Give me gory details, it's not like I won't be calling Ralph on the white telephone constantly anyways.

joshofalltrades on
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    Romanian My EscutcheonRomanian My Escutcheon Two of Forks Registered User regular
    Vomit Euphemism Thread.

    [IMG][/img]
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    I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights all the traits of greatness starlight at my feetRegistered User regular
    What diarrhea has helped me accomplish:

    I made a janitor quit

    i may have killed a small animal

    lfYVHTd.png
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Vomit Euphemism Thread.

    blow chunks
    upchuck
    honk
    spew
    technicolor yawn
    barf
    hurl

    BLM - ACAB
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    What diarrhea has helped me accomplish:

    I made a janitor quit

    Tell me more

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    ArangArang HUEY LEWISRegistered User regular
    you shouldn't brush your teeth right after puking, the enamel will be very sensitive

    thenews.jpg
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    Vomit Euphemism Thread.

    blow chunks
    upchuck
    honk
    spew
    technicolor yawn
    barf
    hurl

    giving a rainbow speech
    GOPing

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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    heh, didn't actually read the OP all the way through at first so I didn't notice he already used some of those

    BLM - ACAB
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Arang wrote: »
    you shouldn't brush your teeth right after puking, the enamel will be very sensitive

    Yeah but walking around with barf breath makes me feel like a homeless person

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    praying to the porcelain goddess

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    TefTef Registered User regular
    One time on a camping trip my mate decided to marinate steak in some beer. He left the steaks in an open Tupperware container full of beer on the caravan counter all day while we went fishing in 40c heat.

    I was completely oblivious to what he'd done and after eating my steak rare I was sick as a dog for 2 days. He was never allowed to prepare food outside of cheese and dip from that moment on

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    one time i had to scoop a sink full of vomit up

    because my roommates were the fucking worst

    i realize now that i should've dragged that monkey fucker out of his bed and drowned him in it

    zkHcp.jpg
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    He left the steaks in an open Tupperware container full of beer on the caravan counter all day while we went fishing in 40c heat.

    o_O

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    He left the steaks in an open Tupperware container full of beer on the caravan counter all day while we went fishing in 40c heat.

    o_O
    I know right?

    How're you and the fam doing by the way?

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    POKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMANPOKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMAN i can make this march and i will make georgia howlRegistered User regular
    last october i had a really killer case of the shits, crampy, nauseated, feverish

    while glued to the toilet i suddenly had to barf

    i leaned over the bathtub and threw up in there

    then i buried my face in my hands and cried for a couple minutes

    vQ77AtR.png
    steam | xbox live: IGNORANT HARLOT | psn: MadRoll | nintendo network: spinach
    3ds: 1504-5717-8252
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    KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    If you brush your teeth immediately after vomiting isn't that bad because you're scrubbing off the acid-damaged enamel instead of letting it reform?

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    He left the steaks in an open Tupperware container full of beer on the caravan counter all day while we went fishing in 40c heat.

    o_O
    I know right?

    How're you and the fam doing by the way?

    Well, Christina has some sort of nerve thing, and the aftereffects of the chemo and radiation are not pretty, but otherwise pretty good!

    Her hair is coming back nicely. I think she will get a pixie cut soon. Simon is just a freakin' awesome baby. My other two kids are amazing as well, and our new doggie is super sweet on me.

    Thanks for asking man. How are you?

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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Throwing up when you've got nothing left to throw up is horrid. I've only had it happen twice, though.

    Once, I think I had some bad shrimp cocktail in Vegas.

    The other time, it was after I had a Nerds™ Blizzard™. I couldn't stand the thought of eating Nerds™ or a Blizzard™ after that for a few years.

    BLM - ACAB
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    The other time, it was after I had a Nerds™ Blizzard™.

    This just sounds terrible, period. Some candy is not meant for ice cream.

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    If I could have food poisoning anywhere, it'd be at work. My room has an ensuite and meals are cooked for you. It's actually a really comfortable place to be sick

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    Kochikens wrote: »
    If you brush your teeth immediately after vomiting isn't that bad because you're scrubbing off the acid-damaged enamel instead of letting it reform?

    This is also a thing I've heard.

    zkHcp.jpg
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    I puked three times at work yesterday and they finally sent me home. I feel super guilty for not being there while we have a big job going but I'd also rather not infect the whole staff with the Andromeda Strain.

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    Tef wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    He left the steaks in an open Tupperware container full of beer on the caravan counter all day while we went fishing in 40c heat.

    o_O
    I know right?

    How're you and the fam doing by the way?

    Well, Christina has some sort of nerve thing, and the aftereffects of the chemo and radiation are not pretty, but otherwise pretty good!

    Her hair is coming back nicely. I think she will get a pixie cut soon. Simon is just a freakin' awesome baby. My other two kids are amazing as well, and our new doggie is super sweet on me.

    Thanks for asking man. How are you?

    I'm glad that overall it's all working out well!

    Life's been good really. I'm just bopping along, my brother and I bought another place this time in a high falutin' neighborhood so we're mired in debt but it's all good

    Tef on
    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    spaceballs4.jpg

    BLM - ACAB
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    He left the steaks in an open Tupperware container full of beer on the caravan counter all day while we went fishing in 40c heat.

    o_O
    I know right?

    How're you and the fam doing by the way?

    Well, Christina has some sort of nerve thing, and the aftereffects of the chemo and radiation are not pretty, but otherwise pretty good!

    Her hair is coming back nicely. I think she will get a pixie cut soon. Simon is just a freakin' awesome baby. My other two kids are amazing as well, and our new doggie is super sweet on me.

    Thanks for asking man. How are you?

    I'm glad that overall it's all working ou

    Oh no, somebody assassinated Tef!

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    MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
    So whose temple did you defile this time, Josh?

    I mean really now
    I really hope you feel better

    As for sick times uh...

    yeah the only thing that comes to mind was my cancer scare. And even then that just ended up with walking being excruciatingly painful as there were lymph nodes that had ballooned to the size of two golf balls on the left side of my groin.

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    ArangArang HUEY LEWISRegistered User regular
    my dentist said you shouldn't brush after doing much of anything with your mouth

    wait at least an hour after drinking soda or wine or anything sour, preferably also after eating, and always finish by drinking wine

    maybe that's just dentist propaganda, though

    thenews.jpg
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    MechMantis wrote: »
    So whose temple did you defile this time, Josh?

    I mean really now

    Some dude named Yahweh nobody has ever heard about
    MechMantis wrote: »
    there were lymph nodes that had ballooned to the size of two golf balls on the left side of my groin.

    Ladies

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    Tef wrote: »
    He left the steaks in an open Tupperware container full of beer on the caravan counter all day while we went fishing in 40c heat.

    o_O
    I know right?

    How're you and the fam doing by the way?

    Well, Christina has some sort of nerve thing, and the aftereffects of the chemo and radiation are not pretty, but otherwise pretty good!

    Her hair is coming back nicely. I think she will get a pixie cut soon. Simon is just a freakin' awesome baby. My other two kids are amazing as well, and our new doggie is super sweet on me.

    Thanks for asking man. How are you?

    I'm glad that overall it's all working ou

    Oh no, somebody assassinated Tef!

    It's ok I fought him off! I Think the little bastards are sneaking in through a hole under the fridge. I've laid traps but I can't seem to catch em

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • Options
    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Arang wrote: »
    my dentist said you shouldn't brush after doing much of anything with your mouth

    wait at least an hour after drinking soda or wine or anything sour, preferably also after eating, and always finish by drinking wine

    maybe that's just dentist propaganda, though

    Them and acupuncturists, man

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Calling Ralph on the big white telephone.

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
    Ladies

    There's actually a pretty big scar there now.

    It leads to some awkward conversations whenever someone is all "LET'S TALK ABOUT SCARS", because it's really the only major scar I've got.

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    Driving the porcelain bus

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    Blergh, barf thread

    Dry heaves are the worst

    And double worst is when you hurl so hard you burst blood vessels in your eyes/eyelids/undereyes and look like somebody beat the shit out of you, or maybe this is just a thing that happens to me because I'm ultra pale

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    Sara LynnSara Lynn I can handle myself. Registered User regular
    My big toenail has a fungus or something and that is pretty terrible. From what I can tell from the internet I'm stuck with it unless I go on some medication that is really bad for your liver. COOL.

    I just never wear sandals, though Annie claims it's not that noticable. Hopefully it will just go away as magically as it came.

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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    My kid has terrible diarrhea right now, and my husband is making with the vomits

    I'm not sick... YET

    But man, it's so sad wiping a little baby butt that's all red, and the kid is screaming, and you know it must hurt so bad :(

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Usagi wrote: »
    And double worst is when you hurl so hard you burst blood vessels in your eyes/eyelids/undereyes and look like somebody beat the shit out of you, or maybe this is just a thing that happens to me because I'm ultra pale

    Is this the cover story Dru gave you

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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    Vomit Euphemism Thread.

    blow chunks
    upchuck
    honk
    spew
    technicolor yawn
    barf
    hurl

    ralph

    the best cause it's a name also

    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    Mysst wrote: »
    The Geek wrote: »
    Vomit Euphemism Thread.

    blow chunks
    upchuck
    honk
    spew
    technicolor yawn
    barf
    hurl

    ralph

    the best cause it's a name also

    It is my kid's name :(

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Also Hugh.

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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