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So, school
LaCabra
MelbourneRegistered User regular
MelbourneRegistered User regular
Sup, SE. It's been a while.
So, I have to give a six minute speech on "imaginative journeys". I hate speeches. I get flustered and go all red and speak faster than I ought. But mostly I really can't be fucked writing the goddamned thing. What the shit is an imaginative journey? What the shit.
But it's okay! Me and my mate Matt have it all planned out, aside from the actual substance of the speech. It opens with "Good day, year twelve, and word to your mothers". At strategic moments during the speech, Matt will exclaim things like "My God, he's right!" and "Of course! It seems so obvious now." This will serve to accentuate my brilliance.
At approximately the half-way point of the speech, whenever that may me, I will turn to the audience, and with a "for instance", press a button on a convenient laptop which will begin playing MC Hammer whilst I keep a straight face for ten seconds, then stop it and continue.
I'll end the the speech with "When it comes to imagination, on the whole, I feel Bruce Campbell said it best -
If you've got it,
You don't need it.
If you need it,
You don't have it.
If you have it, you need more of it.
If you have more of it, you don't need less of it.
You need it to get it, and you certainly need it to get more of it.
But if you don't have any to begin with, you can't get any to get started which means you really have no idea how to get it in the first place, do you?
You can share it, sure.
You can even stockpile it if you'd like, but you can't fake it.
Wanting it.
Needing it.
Wishing for it.
The point is, if you've ever had any of it, ever...
People just seem to know."
At this point, Matt will stand and exclaim loudly, "But Joe! What about the kilogram?"
I'll stare him straight in the eye and say, "It will be our greatest heist."
"We'll replace it with some sticks of discount pepperoni."
Should I actually do this y/n
So, I have to give a six minute speech on "imaginative journeys". I hate speeches. I get flustered and go all red and speak faster than I ought. But mostly I really can't be fucked writing the goddamned thing. What the shit is an imaginative journey? What the shit.
But it's okay! Me and my mate Matt have it all planned out, aside from the actual substance of the speech. It opens with "Good day, year twelve, and word to your mothers". At strategic moments during the speech, Matt will exclaim things like "My God, he's right!" and "Of course! It seems so obvious now." This will serve to accentuate my brilliance.
At approximately the half-way point of the speech, whenever that may me, I will turn to the audience, and with a "for instance", press a button on a convenient laptop which will begin playing MC Hammer whilst I keep a straight face for ten seconds, then stop it and continue.
I'll end the the speech with "When it comes to imagination, on the whole, I feel Bruce Campbell said it best -
If you've got it,
You don't need it.
If you need it,
You don't have it.
If you have it, you need more of it.
If you have more of it, you don't need less of it.
You need it to get it, and you certainly need it to get more of it.
But if you don't have any to begin with, you can't get any to get started which means you really have no idea how to get it in the first place, do you?
You can share it, sure.
You can even stockpile it if you'd like, but you can't fake it.
Wanting it.
Needing it.
Wishing for it.
The point is, if you've ever had any of it, ever...
People just seem to know."
At this point, Matt will stand and exclaim loudly, "But Joe! What about the kilogram?"
I'll stare him straight in the eye and say, "It will be our greatest heist."
"We'll replace it with some sticks of discount pepperoni."
Should I actually do this y/n
LaCabra on
0
Posts
Gaaay.
This also sucks. I'm trying to write this thing right fucking now. It sucks.
Idiot.
that being said those are some brutal ideas so make sure to take a video of this and post it on the forums later for us to tear apart like the wild dogs we are
highschool english
I kind of hope not because it'll probably go obscenely badly
If the teachers are anything like mine, then they will pass you with a C just because of the effort put in to the speech.
I think it was War of the Worlds
it was a night before job and I got like 65%
Fuck.
P.S feel free to send me yours
uh
a racing car
You people in an English speaking country get away with this?
This is in no way a help to you, but I dont care, just bored and felt like talking.
I figure it should be okay as long as I bust out DA BELL TOWA.
(22:50:05) Nads: Yes. Do it.
(22:50:11) Joe: Do it?
(22:50:11) Nads: Do it.
(22:50:13) Joe: Should I do it
(22:50:29) Nads: Do it.
(22:50:38) Joe: Why do you think I should do it
(22:51:28) Nads: Because it will probably be more creative and entertaining than any of the other jerks' presentations.
(22:51:56) Joe: I'm worried not everyone will dig the old spice thing. Me and Matt kind of recite it a lot at parties.
(22:52:42) Nads: To hell with them then.
(22:52:53) Joe: Should I dance to MC Hammer? I have a maneuver involving pelvic gyrations that has come to be called "The Bell Tower".
(22:55:04) Nads: Yes. But right as you start it, have Matt yell out, "DA BELL TOWA."
(22:55:11) Joe: oh fuck yes
like, ever
One kid proclaimed "Hey, I don't think he's gonna make it!" and then I was like "I agree with that guy. Let's end this." to which my teacher just said "Keep going or you fail." and then I kept going with a squeeky voice, dry throat, and tears in my bloodshot eyes.
Yeah. It was my scariest moment ever.
So don't worry about it, man. Internet it...
FOR SPARTA!!!!!
..sorry
the point is to identify literary techniques in texts and seeing if we can make good links between shared themes
it is actually more relevant to an english class than to what you described, which is what we do in history
i chose 'on the road' by jack kerouac and 'castaway'
i have never read on the road and i saw castaway many years before i started writing long essays on both of them
i say this is as an Eng. Lit. student.
recently i had to give a speech on aluminium and i thought of bringing in a wadded ball of foil or a crushed can to pass around the room
but then i thought 'fuck that novelty ill just get up there and stutter this crap about physical properties and get it done with in the most unmemorable way'
in high school i had to give a speech on king lear, with the task being to pretend we are a director giving a speech to the actors about presenting our own interpretation of lear
i did better in that one cos i had this mad vision of lear as an old media tycoon burying his face in piles of cocaine and fucking teenage whores while treating everyone like shit
EVER.
I am trying to teach veal-boy how to interpret teacher's instructions for papers and speeches and the like. When they ask you to write a page on your summer vacation, they don't care about your summer vacation- they just want to see if you can write a coherent one page essay on a topic. Being frustrated because your summer vacation sucked and isn't worth a single page is totally besides the point.
I'm year twelve as well. I'm taking an actual speech course. Fuck it all because I don't actually have to pass it to graduate (hooray filler courses so the teachers get their money!).
Today we were randomly assigned a persuasive speech. We get to argue either for or against the topic.
I was assigned "Internet Chatrooms/forums are unsafe."
This is going to be glorious. I should just hold up a card with SE++ on it.
I think I should be a speech teacher.
Because I would be like "You kids are so stupid, this shit is easy."
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