CROSSTOWN: Looking for feedback on an online comic strip project

2

Posts

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    We wrote quite a few strips ahead before we hit the full swing of the story. To be honest, we didn't expect such a response from the site. Now, I'm quite anxious to get to the story with such a great amount of followers. We're a few weeks away from where the story officially kicks off, now that we've established the premise.
    So, please try to enjoy the next few strips - that drive home how horrible John's experience in Crosstown has to be - in a tongue-in-cheek fashion.
    Cheers, and thanks for reading.

    2012-10-08-The-One-About-The-Elephant.png

    Comedy Reflux
  • TokyoVTokyoV Registered User regular
    We have set ourselves up there as well. You can search for us through CrosstownComic....
    In fact, we have a few special art submissions there, as well as a weekly preview of the next comic coming out.
    Perfect. Now I can keep up with updates easily.

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    2012-10-15-The-Next-One-About-The-Elephant.png

  • zollmaniaczollmaniac Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Was the little guy doing something to him under the table? If not, it comes off that way to me.

    zollmaniac on
  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    Even considering the previous strip?

  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    Its because the arrow of the speech balloon is pointed at his crotch. Switch the tail so it looks like the little guy is entering from the right. That might clear it up.

  • m3nacem3nace Registered User regular
    Or consider having the beginning of the fart in the first panel. Panel 2 and 3 in succession make it seem like there's a cause-effect relation between them.
    Another option is to have the first panel just with him farting and the second with him sniffing his own fart or something. The first panel as it is now just seems pretty pointless (granted it is a funny face that adds to the experience of seeing him fart, it just doesn't have much to do in terms of action).

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    2012-11-26-Criss-Crosstown-Part-1.png
    2012-12-03-Criss-Crosstown-Part-2.png
    2012-12-10-About-To-Hit-The-Fan.png
    2013-01-06-Ha-Ha-Ha.png
    2013-01-14-Stir-It-Up.png
    2013-01-21-Face-To-Face.png

    bombardier
  • amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    I've actually been following this outside of your posts here and I just want to say it's been hilarious. I'm glad to see an actual story forming and not just "dude getting hit in the balls a lot"


    Arch wrote: »

    I never expected this burn from captain bushmeat
  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    He'll be getting hit in the balls a lot still. Barfing from it, too.
    But yeah. Now "stuff" is happening.

  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    Yes yes yes.
    This is getting really awesome man. I love the concept. It's reading like a comic book now. I want a LOT more.

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    2013-01-28-Good-Point.png

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    2013-02-04-Farewell-And-Good-Luck.png

    francium
  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    more

    bombardier
  • HalenHalen Registered User regular
    They are so fucking amazing :)

    Draw an egg.
    bombardier
  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    2013-02-11-Cryptic.png

  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    So, are you still in the back catalog of strips? I still think it would be really interesting (and more effective) if you used that blue to red gradient to follow the mood of the strip, rather than just wash it over the whole strip. In some of the recent,denser ones, it seems like you maybe started to.. but its hard to tell if that's just a result of having more stuff to show in a panel.

    I also feel like a little more variation in your line width would help. Everything is light and a little sketchy, but you occasionally lean a little heavier on the demons curved forms, to a nice effect. If you did that with a little more intention, to help separate foreground from background, it would add nice polish to the strip

  • MinokoMinoko Registered User regular
    I think the idea here is pretty damn solid and the jokes promote revisits. I like it a lot and I think you'll have no problem attracting readers. It's just a shame you can't post more frequently.

    I cannot, and will not, have an arguement with someone who doesn't know who Omega Supreme is!

    http://www.snappedcontroller.com
  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    2013-02-18-S%27aMatta-Wit%27Choo.png

  • TheJoeTheJoe Registered User regular
    I'm colorblind. and your subtle colors are still gorgeous.

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    Greatly appreciate this feedback.

  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    I'm still interested to know if you are posting new work or not?

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    I'm posting the strips here as they come out on the website. So what's here is what's new. I'm interested to see feedback as the strips develop, on story, character and overall look as I see it's developing.

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    2013-03-04-A-Stinking-Something.png

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    2013-03-18-The-Worst-That-Could-Happen-Part-One.png

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    2013-04-01-The-Worst-That-Could-Happen-Part-Two.png

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    2013-04-14-Aaaaanyway....png

  • HalenHalen Registered User regular
    Continues to be excellent :-)

    Draw an egg.
  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    Thank you very much. Feedback is always appreciated. I'm glad the greatness of it has not yet subsided.

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    So, I'm looking for some honest artistic feedback in regard to my online comic, Crosstown.

    I've done this for long enough to know that I want to continue doing it. Writing Crosstown is a highly satisfying part of my day. Collaborating with the artist, Adam, bonds our friendship in such a way that makes it even stronger than it has been - and it has been the strongest of friendships.

    I have honestly and truly begun to care about Crosstown - my passionate artistic project - as if it were its own entity. Something external from just myself. Something that is growing and maturing on its own.

    I care about the success of this project. I don't know where to take it from here.

    I know the characters, the world - the whole universe that is Crosstown. I could write it endlessly and it has, artistically, already developed clear direction. But that's not what I mean.

    How do promote this thing? How can I "get it out there", so to speak?
    In terms of the business side of things, I see Crosstown as something valuable that will ideally be incorporated into my future - that is to say, beyond just a hobby.

    I want this thing out there.
    How do I most intelligently promote Crosstown?

    I'm just a guy who wrote a story, with a friend who can draw wonderful things.

    What do we do from here?

    Looking for artistic feedback in regard to my online comic

    (P.s. should this post be in a different forum altogether? I feel the feedback related to what I've written will be at home along with the postings of the strips. If that's an incorrect assumption, please let me know and I'll request a "higher up" delete the post so I can re-post it elsewhere, or, have them move it to the appropriate spot.)

  • HalenHalen Registered User regular
    Oh man, how did you get a 2 page thread without us realising this isn't your art...

    Draw an egg.
    ninjaiEncmelting_dollRed RaevynJudastynic
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    Halen wrote: »
    Oh man, how did you get a 2 page thread without us realising this isn't your art...

    loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
    ..cked

  • McJohnstableMcJohnstable Registered User regular
    Some pretty mean stuff here mate, two things that stuck out well for me were the cool shapes you're using for the demon and the elephant in particular, they convey some good personality. :)

  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion The Land of Flowers (and Dragons)Registered User regular
    ninjai wrote: »
    Halen wrote: »
    Oh man, how did you get a 2 page thread without us realising this isn't your art...

    loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
    ..cked

    I feel emotionally abused.

  • melting_dollmelting_doll Registered User regular
    Oh god, my trust hurts

    Encninjai
  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    get the artist in here pronto!

    ninjai
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    You know, I always thought you seemed oddly quiet when it came to responding to art critiques, I couldn't tell if it was a lack of interest in feedback

    We do have a rule that only the actual artist can post work in the AC for critique (Even if its with his permission, or he is very closely looking over your shoulder). That ensures that the time spent by users giving feedback goes directly to the person who will benefit from it. Also getting more in depth info from the artists helps us make deeper, more insightful critiques.

    And yeah, this section is focused more on the art. If you want to keep getting crits on the work, get the artist to make an account. If You want advice on everything else, perhaps you can make a post in H/A. If you'd like to get that feedback on this end, its fine, but get your artist in here.

  • HalenHalen Registered User regular
    It's actually quite frustrating, I just took a look at the site, and clearly the artist is genuinely looking for feedback:
    So…yeah. Consistency apparently isn’t my thing.

    I noticed the changing faces of my character well before this blog post, and briefly considered sliding down the slippery slope of going back to rework and tie everything together in a pretty bow. But two things occurred to me:

    1) Going off on a slightly-pretentious-reading-too-much-into-my-own-work sort of tangent, I know John is a lost soul trying to find himself. Maybe his physical appearance in the world of Crosstown reflects this fact, and it takes some time for him to assume his true form.

    2) I want to evolve as an illustrator. I don’t want to fall into a complacent mentality if I think I can do better. I want to keep the visual design of Crosstown as fluid as possible, let *it* tell me how it should look. Maybe this proves to be a second pretentious point, but I want to continue to explore and not necessarily lock myself into anything just yet. Maybe this hurts Crosstown should we ever try to go to print, and maybe at that point I reconsider, but whatever. Just have fun with it, dammit.

    I think it’s taken a turn for the better. I can feel that I’m zeroing in on something here, at least for a while. From day one I wanted it to be gray – I just couldn’t bring myself to picture a crummy afterlife in full colour. Line work is tightening up a bit, though I think I want to pull it back into the world of rough and scrambly, as that feels a bit more on theme. I can also say I’m definitely satisfied with bringing those painterly mid-tones into the picture, as it helps lift the characters and points of interest off the background. I’ll be riding that for a bit.

    It’s certainly been an eye-opening, humbling and enjoyable exercise, creating and posting art on a weekly schedule. I’ve absolutely developed a healthy respect for those that post amazing work three, five, seven times a week, that’s for sure.

    Do you like where the visuals are going? Do you have a preferred look and feel for the strip? I’d love the feedback if anyone has some.

    -Adam

    Draw an egg.
  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    Yeah the artist reads these posts, but I can get him to make an account and get in here.

    The forum rules state that other forms of art aside from strictly visual are welcome here. As a writing project I'm working on with an artist, where can I get OVERALL feedback on Crosstown as opposed to just how it looks? I'm always on the lookout for feedback "ON THE PROJECT". After having read the forum rules and seeing that other art is encouraged, I assumed this was the correct place to post.

  • RyanDesmondRyanDesmond Registered User regular
    Or rather...
    Where do I, creator and writer of Crosstown, go to get opinions on my online comic strip project, Crosstown?

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