As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
We're funding a new Acquisitions Incorporated series on Kickstarter right now! Check it out at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/pennyarcade/acquisitions-incorporated-the-series-2

Give her the dick - Descartes

11617192122100

Posts

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    SHUT THE FUCK UP, RAIJIN

  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner.

    SHUT UP

    JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Goddamn it, Keith

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Tef is sloooooooow.


    Super slooooooow.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Keith wrote: »
    Step Brothers and Hot Rod for best movies about manchildren

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOUrLn1FFCA

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Oh no. Now I am the one who is slow.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    raijin slowfoot

  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
  • ShanksShanks "THAT FELLOW" Registered User regular
    Keith wrote: »
    crwth wrote: »
    is pornography art

    would you like to be in my porn adaptation of The Creation of Adam?

    I read this as Creamation.

    Would still watch.

    Royal Families card game rules Origin/XBL: SpaceRangerJ Steam
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Gatsby wrote: »

    DON'T INVOLVE ME IN THIS

    AntimatterGatsby
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    stepbrothers has possibly the best commentary ever

    it is amazing

    Tef
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    My name is Rod, and I like to party.

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    My name is Rod, and I like to party.

    I like to party too.

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    Uh, I just said that I like to party, so maybe you could say something different from me?

  • GatsbyGatsby Registered User regular
  • TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Gatsby wrote: »

    DON'T INVOLVE ME IN THIS

    iIUqm.png

    b1ehrMM.gif
    Gatsby
  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    Keith wrote: »
    crwth wrote: »
    is pornography art

    would you like to be in my porn adaptation of The Creation of Adam?

    I imagine the koala in your sig saying this with that awkward grin and I don't feel comfortable

  • NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    how come Jaws has only white people in it

  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    Nerdgasmic wrote: »
    how come Jaws has only white people in it

    how come the shark gotta be a "great white"?!

  • DelzhandDelzhand Hard to miss. Registered User regular
    Lilnoobs wrote: »
    3cf7M.png

    The best comments are the ones where people assume the people in the video are the ones who uploaded it, and actively monitor the comments.

  • GatsbyGatsby Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    Nerdgasmic wrote: »
    how come Jaws has only white people in it

    how come the shark gotta be a "great white"?!

    Patrisharky

    NerdgasmicTallahasseeriel
  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    edited September 2012
    Nerdgasmic wrote: »
    how come Jaws has only white people in it

    Black people can't swim.
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Gatsby wrote: »

    DON'T INVOLVE ME IN THIS

    iIUqm.png

    Looks like a Seaman.

    seaman.jpg

    Lilnoobs on
    George Fornby Grill
  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    crwth wrote: »
    fun porn fact: lexi belle put out her first anal scene this month

    it's with james deen!

    Lily Carter's doing her first DP and double anal in the same film, apparently

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    crwth wrote: »
    fun porn fact: lexi belle put out her first anal scene this month

    it's with james deen!

    Lily Carter's doing her first DP and double anal in the same film, apparently

    Some people have all the luck, I guess.

  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    Pony wrote: »
    so a friend of mine from university answered a want-ad for a porn site

    she was all YEAH I'M GOING TO GET INTO PORN

    i tried to talk her out of it but eh

    she's a grown-up, makes her own choices

    so she goes to this meeting with the dude from the site, he has her do a naked photo shoot and blow some dude

    she's okay with this

    they say they'll call her

    couple days later, they call her and the guy's like yyyyeah i talked to the dudes who run the network our site is a part of and they don't think you'll fit our audience but you've got a lot of great energy and you're super nice so if you want to come out to our shoots in the future and work as a fluffer we'll pay you for it

    she tried to get him to clarify what he meant by fit our audience and he tried to dance around and eventually told her she's basically too fat

    she did not take this well

    she's still got options

    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • RehabRehab Registered User regular
    Definitely James Deen in that scenario.

    And after that there will probably be tacos or ice cream too.

    NNID: Rehab0
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    crwth wrote: »
    fun porn fact: lexi belle put out her first anal scene this month

    it's with james deen!

    Lily Carter's doing her first DP and double anal in the same film, apparently

    I dunno if it was shot later or something, but Lily Carter does DP in the recently released movie "Wasteland"

  • TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    I dunno, Gianna Michaels seems to be doing well for herself.

    b1ehrMM.gif
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Mysst wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    so a friend of mine from university answered a want-ad for a porn site

    she was all YEAH I'M GOING TO GET INTO PORN

    i tried to talk her out of it but eh

    she's a grown-up, makes her own choices

    so she goes to this meeting with the dude from the site, he has her do a naked photo shoot and blow some dude

    she's okay with this

    they say they'll call her

    couple days later, they call her and the guy's like yyyyeah i talked to the dudes who run the network our site is a part of and they don't think you'll fit our audience but you've got a lot of great energy and you're super nice so if you want to come out to our shoots in the future and work as a fluffer we'll pay you for it

    she tried to get him to clarify what he meant by fit our audience and he tried to dance around and eventually told her she's basically too fat

    she did not take this well

    she's still got options
    Your first rejection is always the hardest.

    God damn. Just a few years ago I'd have said something like, "it really says something about your life if you're excited about doing porn" and now I actively encourage my friends when they say they want to do it.

  • RehabRehab Registered User regular
    Do you have a lot of friends who are thinking about doing porn?

    NNID: Rehab0
  • FyndirFyndir Registered User regular
    Rehab wrote: »
    Do you have a lot of friends who are thinking about doing porn?

    What Metal means is that when she gets drunk she encourages all her friends to do porn out of nowhere, mostly because she really wants to see it.

    Antimatter
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    Fyndir wrote: »
    Rehab wrote: »
    Do you have a lot of friends who are thinking about doing porn?

    What Metal means is that when she gets drunk she encourages all her friends to do porn out of nowhere, mostly because she really wants to see it.

    "Actually I've got a camera right here..."

  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Rehab wrote: »
    Do you have a lot of friends who are thinking about doing porn?

    One is. Another has been doing a lot of modeling for an artist. One would be great at it, because she has a "holy shit" kind of body, but will not show her face on camera and a couple others have actually done pornos.

  • RehabRehab Registered User regular
    Heh, I was about to say that that scenario sounds superficial enough to be a porn itself!

    NNID: Rehab0
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Fyndir wrote: »
    Rehab wrote: »
    Do you have a lot of friends who are thinking about doing porn?

    What Metal means is that when she gets drunk she encourages all her friends to do porn out of nowhere, mostly because she really wants to see it.

    Well, I don't drink.

    Also my friends don't need all that much encouragement

    Antimatter
  • RehabRehab Registered User regular
    Rehab wrote: »
    Do you have a lot of friends who are thinking about doing porn?

    One is. Another has been doing a lot of modeling for an artist. One would be great at it, because she has a "holy shit" kind of body, but will not show her face on camera and a couple others have actually done pornos.

    Wow, Porn Entourage, there!

    Free idea for a show if they want to try and pitch that too.

    NNID: Rehab0
  • B_RB_R Registered User regular
    Whoa, I don't know anyone who would even think about becoming a porn star.
    I need new friends apparently.

  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    B_R wrote: »
    Whoa, I don't know anyone who would even think about becoming a porn star.
    I need new friends apparently.

    Get into the trans/fetish/bdsm crowd, that's where they all are.

  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    I've topped and done support for quite a few scenes and if there are any aspiring fetish photographers in the audience, let me tell you that the easiest way to ruin a scene and quite possibly get hurt is to start directing. There's a certain dynamic energy there, and the same way a football game would look unauthentic if you staged it, so would a bdsm scene. Also you have to deal with a person in a headspace somewhat similar to a guy balls deep in his wife, so go ahead and interrupt that at your own peril.

    Peter Ebel
This discussion has been closed.