Let's Play They Bleed Pixels: Set 3 -- Huge metal chains are a girl's best friend

joshofalltrades

So, my life is like a fart right now and I have been told to find an outlet for my anger and anxiety.

My first thought was to LP the new I Wanna Be The Guy: Gaiden, but that isn't finding an outlet so much as going up to an electrical substation just after getting out of the pool and holding as many loose and frayed wires as possible while licking the ones that are sparking.



Instead, I decided to try something totally new to me: a blind LP of a difficult platformer. One just popped up on my radar called They Bleed Pixels. It is a Lovecraftian beat-em-up platformer with a one-button context-sensitive moveset and spikes that will totally fucking kill you all over the place.



So the videos will be heavily edited, as usual, negating the terribad parts of a blind LP (the awkward silence while the LPer looks around for what in the hell they're supposed to do). Don't worry though! I will still leave in every fascinating death and every rage episode where you can hear my teeth grinding in the mic so you can mock me and tell me what a terrible gamer I am and how easy it actually is to do and you could show us all if you just had my personality. It's okay. Just accept it and move on.

I actually have no earthly clue how long this game is but I guess we'll find out together! It will be a fascinating journey of fun and discovery for the whole family (disclaimer: by the middle of the LP, you may want to escort women and children and those with a delicate constitution out of the room -- they are no longer part of our "fascinating journey of fun and discovery", nor "the whole family" at that point).

Here are the sets:

Set 1: Somebody get that book a maxi pad
Set 2 (sort of): HAIL SATAN LORD OF DARKNESS
Set 2 (for real): I want to kill the person who first put slippery surfaces in platformers
Set 3: Huge metal chains are a girl's best friend

cooljammer00

Wait, so are you purposefully picking a non-IWBTG difficulty level platformer to "relax", but doing it blind for the challenge?

joshofalltrades

Um. This game is pretty tough at times.

You could say I did the same thing with VVVVVV, but really I just don't want to keep doing the same thing over and over again. But no, relaxing doesn't enter into it.

Anyway, the first set is up now.

Sterica

I feel like this is a cry for help.

joshofalltrades

I need somebody

Not just anybody

You know I need someone

Foomy

Great video Josh, loved the editing.

Also I think you might just hate yourself a bit, perhaps you just need to play some sort of horse brushing game for a while.

joshofalltrades

Foomy wrote: »

Great video Josh, loved the editing.

Also I think you might just hate yourself a bit, perhaps you just need to play some sort of horse brushing game for a while.

Are you brushing the horses with bloody spikes

BrocksMullet

Moody Blues indeed.

Tef

Gonna watch this when I get home tonight, looks good :^:

joshofalltrades

No, Tef, you look good

SkutSkut

Your audio is really loud and bumpy. And good to have you back.

joshofalltrades

Sorry about that. Hopefully it won't be such an issue later on (I'm pretty sure I just need to turn my mic down some; I just hate the thought of my voice getting lost in everything).

Tef

joshofalltrades wrote: »

No, Tef, you look good

8->

joshofalltrades

I'll try and do another set tomorrow. I don't know how long each level is, but I'll try to get each set down to under 20 minutes, under 30 minutes at the most. I really dislike the idea of having hour-long sets.

joshofalltrades

Going to try and do the second set today.

joshofalltrades

Okay, second set is finished, but there was, hm, I don't know how to put this

My video capture was possessed and required an exorcist

I will post it as a subset because it was too damn weird and freaky

joshofalltrades

Here's a shortened version of the possession in question. I swear to God I didn't do anything to the video or audio before uploading other than trimming the length and tinting the video red because holy fuck

What the hell is this game doing to my computer

Am I the only one seeing this

Foomy

joshofalltrades wrote: »

Here's a shortened version of the possession in question. I swear to God I didn't do anything to the video or audio before uploading other than trimming the length and tinting the video red because holy fuck

What the hell is this game doing to my computer

Am I the only one seeing this

Your computer has apparently opened some sort of portal into hell, it might be best if you take it outside and burn it, than douse the ashes with holy water.

Firmus_Piett

Oh my, can't wait to watch this. The words, I must hear all the words spewed from your mouth to feel happy again.

joshofalltrades

Okay, well, I closed the portal to Hell. It took some sacrifices. Human sacrifices, and audio sacrifices.

The voice commentary is again subpar but that couldn't be helped, because what I was able to salvage had such low gain that amplifying it made it clip pretty terribly. Still, it is not as bad as it could be. I don't expect to get Retsuperae'd for it.

Also, for some reason the track I salvaged didn't have the audio from the game in it. So I had to go back and find out what the music was for each level I played and drop them in manually, and make sure the loops weren't broken. Unfortunately I am too lazy to add the sound effects from the game one by one into a 30+ minute video, so that sucks, but whatever. You get quality video, my voice and the music that was originally intended for each level. And it took a shitload of work so I don't want to hear whining. Especially from @Rent

This one's longer than the first set, so it'll take some time to encode and upload, but it will be done soon. I've already finished the editing and that took hours.

Syphyre

Hey a new josh LP! Glad to see you back around. I shall be watching the videos to see the anger flow through you. Only then can you complete your journey to the somewhat shaded side.

joshofalltrades

Life circumstances man

You guys know I love you

That's why I'm doing this

Because I love you more than I love me

joshofalltrades

OK! Set 2 is now up. Link is in the OP. Hope you enjoy, that was a lot of work and waiting.

joshofalltrades

I may try and do the third set tomorrow; I have to work in the morning and if the Chapters are all as long as that I will probably end up splitting them into smaller sets. I know not everyone has half an hour dedicated to watching me swear at video games.

Foomy

Wow they really up that difficulty quick don't they. I can't imagine what sort of shit the end of this game will throw at you.

You might need to invent some new swears to properly show your displeasure if it keeps getting increasing hard at the same rate.

joshofalltrades

There were a few in there!

ANTVGM64

I think my favorites when you kept getting off track with swearing because you were attempting to play the game.

PS - Was there ever a sixth part of VVVVVV?

joshofalltrades

Nope, not yet anyway. And yeah, this game is actually tougher to talk during since a) I've never played it before and b) I have to concentrate on combat and platforming and commentary. But I think I'm doing an okay job of it, or at least editing out the parts where I'm not.

joshofalltrades

Looks like set 3 will be up tonight or tomorrow

Fencingsax

Man, I Wanna be the Guy:Gaiden looks absolutely silly.

joshofalltrades

I've played a bit of it and it's basically IWBTG with Bionic Commando mechanics.

And you can die on the level select screen.

Rent

joshofalltrades wrote: »

And it took a shitload of work so I want to hear whining. Especially from @Rent

ok

joshofalltrades

Oh hi Rent

(I secretly made this LP for you I hope you like it can I give you a backrub)

Rent

i dont watch lps any more but ill attempt to give yours a watch

whatevs

whats up with you, havent been here for months

Rent

You might want to provide a link so one may purchase the game which you are showing off with goods (like your butt) and/or services (like blowjobs) in the op, broski (i am saying u are a male prostitute)

also might want to change the thread title to reflect the new set uploaded
ed: oh wait you did I saw three links so i thought you uploaded three sets

rent's protips

also holy fuck the new blip.tv aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

joshofalltrades

Rent wrote: »

whats up with you, havent been here for months

Check this thread for the shit scoop

And don't feel obligated to watch an LP if you don't anymore, seriously

Fencingsax

I'll be honest. I didn't recognize your voice at all until the first fuck.

joshofalltrades

I could take that the wrong way really easily

Fencingsax

I suppose so.

PMAvers

Wait. Wait.

joshofalltrades wrote: »

My first thought was to LP the new I Wanna Be The Guy: Gaiden,

WHAT.

*googles*

Oh my goodness.

Fuck that fish. Totally should've been expecting a early cheap death like that....

Fencingsax

Your trouble with the boo-Samaras is hilarious.