Gifting a vacation to the Americas

Varinn

My girlfriend loves travelling, so I've all but decided that my christmas gift to her this year will be a vacation somewhere. Due to budget constraints I'm somewhat limited on where exactly we can go. I've pulled together a few choices and I'm hoping my wise PA friends can help me figure out the where's, why's, and how's. I'm essentially thinking that if I was to buy the plane tickets and hotel we could do a few days in whatever city we end up in and I know she would very gladly pitch in to cover the have fun budget once we get there. She has been talking about a trip to New York that she was thinking of doing in February this coming spring so the idea, and the money is in place.

We live in Vancouver, BC, so depending on whether we go stateside or not will decide if we use YVR (Vancouver) or SEA (Seattle) airport. The trip would range between 3-4 days total, with the first and last being day of flight/travel. There is a consideration of spending the first day in Seattle and flying out on day 2.

My ideas so far are
New York (full 3-4 days)
San Fransisco (Full 3-4 days, or 1 day in seattle, 2-3 in San)
Los Angeles (1 day in Seattle, 2-3 in LA)

Round trip tickets to these places are extremely reasonable, we are not necessarily looking for a place where we can go sunbathe and would prefer having stuff to do every day. I am totally open to other options and if anyone knows of a cheaper method to get to Montreal, QC I would love to hear it. A flight from YVR to Montreal is $800 per person (round trip) and $400 per person from Seattle. That's 2x-4x the price of tickets to other areas!

I am prepared to throw down $800-$900 for the both of us for flights and hotel and there is a strong likelihood that she will opt to pay a premium for upgrade packages where available.

Esh

Forget L.A., it's a disgusting sprawl. You'll spend more time traveling from destination to destination then you will actually seeing the sights. I'd recommend the Seattle/SF trip. Both cities are extremely easy to get around in, have great to good public transportation, and have lots to see, do, and eat. Lots of fun and quirky stuff as well.

EDIT: Though, if you live in Vancouver, I'd just do all SF. You can take the train or bus down to Seattle any time.

Bendery It Like Beckham

As someone who practically lived in LA for a few months... my significant other of the time and I spent more time in traffic than we did actually going out places.

Darkewolfe

Have you considered New York City and Washington D.C. as a combo via train? You could even take the train from Vancouver, though I don't know how much time you'd lose there. That'd give you two major cities. You could spend money in NY and mostly do free stuff in DC.

Varinn

Now that I think about it, I have heard her talk about doing almost exactly that but subbing a bus in place of the train for cost savings. Her planned trip was almost 2 weeks however, so I would really hate to cut down her goals of a NY/DC combo package into 3 days. I think NY on it's own would make a good deal, I am however leaning towards SF just because of the fact that I'm iffy about doing a halfers version of what her dream NY/DC trip was. What are the recommended methods to book trips like this? I have never done it, and she is usually the trip planner.

enlightenedbum

Sort of depends what kinds of touristy things you do like to do. If it's like museums and what not, NYC can't be beat. Though Chicago has some VERY nice ones and is a bit cheaper overall. If you want to save NYC and also go to DC at the same time, that'd probably be better as a weeklong trip, I think.

SF I have never been to, but I imagine is also rich on this kind of thing.

ceres

I would say "help me plan this trip for us and I will pay for it, anywhere in the US for this long" rather than trying to plan it all out yourself, book everything, and then surprise her with it. It sounds really awesome and romantic to do it all yourself and if you're confident you can get what she wants the way she wants it then it totally is, but unless you're pretty sure you can do that I think it's better to include her in the planning and booking process.

If you're bent on doing it yourself though, I agree with you that it's probably better to hold off on NY/DC until you have time to arrange things so that she can get what she wants out of each place. SF is pretty nice and there's tons to do.

jamesra

ceres wrote: »

I would say "help me plan this trip for us and I will pay for it, anywhere in the US for this long" rather than trying to plan it all out yourself, book everything, and then surprise her with it. It sounds really awesome and romantic to do it all yourself and if you're confident you can get what she wants the way she wants it then it totally is, but unless you're pretty sure you can do that I think it's better to include her in the planning and booking process.

If you're bent on doing it yourself though, I agree with you that it's probably better to hold off on NY/DC until you have time to arrange things so that she can get what she wants out of each place. SF is pretty nice and there's tons to do.

This. Maybe pick a good flight or something[1], but honestly: give her a budget, (my sense is you are both cost and time conscious, so in this case, the trick is to make sure she doesn't guilt herself into making the money fungible for more "practical" concerns. Or not, but that is some of the vibe I picked up --or brought from my own experience of poverty, love and lapsed Catholicism). In any event, the point is that planning a trip is part of the fun. If you were independantly wealthy and could whisk her away to Paris on a chartered Lear Jet, that might be different. But those people don't do that kind of thing anyway, as that is a fantasy of the constrained about what might do in the absence of constraint...

But let her participate. Planning is part of the fun, it'll bring you closer together and it will extend that lovely, agonizing anticipatory glee. The chance to choose from your hopes, especially when you can meld yours with someone you love, is a powerful gift all by itself.

Having said that: A) Never go to LA. I'm sorry, but while LA may have its merits as a place to live, I guess, since I know awesome people who choose to live there, it is a revolting place to visit unless you have some specific interest in it. Don't go. If she hasn't ever seen a traffic jam, maybe it is worth doing but otherwise: NO. I like Seattle a great deal, and I've lived there twice but coming from BC: NO! NO! NO! It is a perfect "Hey, I've got some money and a good deal on a nice hotel, lets get away for the weekend" surprise trip for you guys. But it is too close to home and far to similar to home to be a real adventure. C) Some of that applies to San Francisco as well, to be honest. Where I have also lived, though not in a decade now. I don't know. This time of year the weather from Vancouver down through Seattle, into the Lesser Vancouver and its larger suburb and then finally on into SF is pretty much all the same (FWIW, I grew up in rural Oregon, which is why I started out with the wet West Coast urban tour. I have a hard time imagining SF as a great tourist town, although it can be a fun one. Call this a no-opinion from me, really since I have very personally complex feeling about Sodom on the bay. Footnoteward I push for Chicago, but, as much as I love my adopted home this isn't our best time of year to visit on a budget. The experience of urban snow still enchants me, but that is really a one day high that you'll likely miss. Otherwise, it is just cold and slushy and dirty, and the joys of community that make this the best place on earth won't show themselves to you enough. Finally, to my mind when someone is described as loving travel, I think of seeing the place rather than the attractions. Winter is a bad time to do that here. But it is a great one for DC, especially. I worry about your travel time constraints, since east cost trips are a lot of time to spend in flight if you don't have a week. But DC is the greatest cheap trip in the world once you get there; all the best attractions are free.

New York I love. I've never been in winter time, but it is a good town for just walking around and being there and making limited plans and seeing what you find. Definitely a good place for a couple of days of "what about THIS". I personally, being a transit obsessive and train nerd recommend the MTA museum in Brooklyn; it has an education mission so it can be a little "for the kids" but I'm really glad I went. Beyond that, look to the New Yorkers.

Beyond that: Take Ceres's advice and failing that the part of mine where I said to take her's. And if you want specific travel details or recommendations, tell us more of her interests, and yours. What do you like? I'm a country boy, so I love cities; I've spent vacations happily going some place just to experience their transit systems and neighborhoods. What makes her want to travel? That's the gift: committing fully to experiencing her interests as a partner rather than as a dragged along boyfriend/spouse. And once you figure it out, prep. If she was me, you'd be reading _The Death and Life of Great American Cities_ and quite possible _The Power Broker_. But that is me. What gets her going?

And since I've put a disturbing amount of thought into this, I hope you'll tell us what you decide, and how it goes. Maybe that is inappropriate for H&A but if it is not I really hope to hear how thing turn out.


[1]And never leave out Chicago. Ever. We are better than other places. Our massive superiority to other, lesser non-Chicago places is just one of the many burdens we shoulder with wit, grace, and boundless humility.

Darkewolfe

ceres wrote: »

I would say "help me plan this trip for us and I will pay for it, anywhere in the US for this long" rather than trying to plan it all out yourself, book everything, and then surprise her with it. It sounds really awesome and romantic to do it all yourself and if you're confident you can get what she wants the way she wants it then it totally is, but unless you're pretty sure you can do that I think it's better to include her in the planning and booking process.

If you're bent on doing it yourself though, I agree with you that it's probably better to hold off on NY/DC until you have time to arrange things so that she can get what she wants out of each place. SF is pretty nice and there's tons to do.

Caveat: Trip planning can be a pain, and stressful to do as a couple. If you really want to involve her, which sounds like a great idea, put together a complete package or two, with all the details worked out. Put them on the table, then invite her to participate and refine it with you to her tastes. This way you get the value of Ceres' idea, but you also take the pressure and burden of trip planning off. If she loves your plan, she can just say, "Yes, that sounds great, book it!"

zepherin

Darkewolfe wrote: »

Have you considered New York City and Washington D.C. as a combo via train? You could even take the train from Vancouver, though I don't know how much time you'd lose there. That'd give you two major cities. You could spend money in NY and mostly do free stuff in DC.

I like this, but going from Vancouver to DC or NYC is a lot of travel for a romantic getaway. However going to Seattle by train is a few hours and is like 39 bucks a person per way so 78 per person round trip for what I have priced out. Spend some time in Seattle then go to San Francisco. Sounds like a good time.

cmsamo

If you drive I recommend going across the border and flying from bellingham. Some of the airlines there do amazing deals. For a total of $750 my girlfriend and I got 3 days and 3 nights in San Diego, in a 4 star hotel. San Diego is a great place

emimonster

As a woman, I offer counter advice to the above proposed:

Make all the plans yourself so she doesn't have to do anything. I have to say, even making decisions is work and to have all that taken care of for you is SO HUGE. Vacations aren't just the money, they're work, which is why there is money in the trip planning business. I've known plenty of lady friends (myself included) who have bought packages so that we don't have to do anything other than hand over some money and buy plane tickets. This is also partly why cruises are so awesome (everything is handled, and each port there's a simple list of "here's some trip plans for today's port, just pick one and pay the money and you get this trip, all already planned and arranged"). (Speaking of cruises, there's some awesome ones that leave Vancouver port and head down the US West coast stopping in major cities. When you factor in travel, renting cars, hotels, food, etc, cruises often come in as the same price or even cheaper if it's off peak season -which is summer mainly- so you might look into it.)

It's huge if you say "let me know when you have 4 days picked out and I will arrange everything to be handled for those 4 days so you can just enjoy them."

Also, yes indeed LA is traffic. If you want to do Magic Mountain and Disneyland and Downtown Disney and stuff, though, it's awesome. They've built everything up around Disneyland so much just being in the middle of it is something of an experience. So many hotel options right there, though, that you can get off super cheap. San Francisco is sprawled out over tons of Bay Area suburbs and towns and cities, now, too. I mean, I take it you like city based on your ideas. If that's true, New York may be best as it is super awesome if you like city trips.

Esh

emimonster wrote: »

San Francisco is sprawled out over tons of Bay Area suburbs and towns and cities, now, too. I mean, I take it you like city based on your ideas. If that's true, New York may be best as it is super awesome if you like city trips.

SF is absolutely nothing like LA sprawl. I was down there last August visiting my ex and we walked/bussed everywhere and it never took us long to get anywhere.

emimonster

Yes, they're totally different sprawl. I guess I'm talking of SF as "Bay Area". As for traffic, LA is "stuck on freeway bc there's too many cars and everything is frickin far away" traffic. Bay Area is "stuck on freeway because the place is all mountain tunnel and bridge bottlenecks" traffic. But yes, LA is much larger, much more spread out, has many more cars, is a patchwork mess of freeways, with public transport that won't get you very far at all. SF you'll be stuck when there are bottlenecks but the rest is fine, LA you'll just be stopped the whole way through. Bay Area also actually has something of public transport.

The thing is, are we talking "touristy walk around downtown cable car street hills" San Francisco, or "live in suburbs out past Oakland and commute to work in SF" San Francisco, cause the 1st bored me and the 2nd was crappy.

And for LA, are we talking "try to get to consulate in one city from the opposite end which will take you the better part of a day" LA or are talking about "stay in a hotel in Downtown Disney, and only stay in that small little area of Anaheim, and maybe one day try and drive down to the beach" LA.

Elin

I know this city isn't mentioned but Chicago is a pretty neat city and they have this super easy tourist card. It gives decent saving for the big attractions and some of them allow you to skip the lines to see the attractions. Not sure if other major cities have anything like this.

Esh

Elin wrote: »

I know this city isn't mentioned but Chicago is a pretty neat city and they have this super easy tourist card. It gives decent saving for the big attractions and some of them allow you to skip the lines to see the attractions. Not sure if other major cities have anything like this.

How is Chicago in February though? I think that's when the OP said they wanted to go.

Darkewolfe

Chicago in February is cold and windy, exactly as you'd expect from the windy city. Granted, they're from Canadia, so maybe it'd still be vacationing "down south."

ceres

emimonster wrote: »

As a woman, I offer counter advice to the above proposed:

Make all the plans yourself so she doesn't have to do anything. I have to say, even making decisions is work and to have all that taken care of for you is SO HUGE. Vacations aren't just the money, they're work, which is why there is money in the trip planning business. I've known plenty of lady friends (myself included) who have bought packages so that we don't have to do anything other than hand over some money and buy plane tickets. This is also partly why cruises are so awesome (everything is handled, and each port there's a simple list of "here's some trip plans for today's port, just pick one and pay the money and you get this trip, all already planned and arranged"). (Speaking of cruises, there's some awesome ones that leave Vancouver port and head down the US West coast stopping in major cities. When you factor in travel, renting cars, hotels, food, etc, cruises often come in as the same price or even cheaper if it's off peak season -which is summer mainly- so you might look into it.)

It's huge if you say "let me know when you have 4 days picked out and I will arrange everything to be handled for those 4 days so you can just enjoy them."

The reason I gave the advice that I did is because his girlfriend seems to actively enjoy the process of trip-planning and is doing so for what will probably be a different trip. Some people really enjoy planning out a trip and then going and doing all the stuff they planned. It's not "as a woman," it's something his girlfriend really seems to enjoy, and to do the whole trip without her excludes her entirely from a part of it she seems to really get a kick out of.

Elin

Esh wrote: »

Esh wrote: »

Elin wrote: »

I know this city isn't mentioned but Chicago is a pretty neat city and they have this super easy tourist card. It gives decent saving for the big attractions and some of them allow you to skip the lines to see the attractions. Not sure if other major cities have anything like this.

How is Chicago in February though? I think that's when the OP said they wanted to go.

Chicago is pretty much always cold, but since he mentioned New York in the same time frame I assumed it wasn't too big of an issue. My understanding is that New England in the winter is pretty chilly although NYC doesn't get that much snow. I could be wrong, I've never been to his part of Canada in the winter, nor to NYC. I did go to Lethbridge,Canada (Alberta) in the winter once and I've never been so damn cold in my life. I've also been to Chicago in the winter and didn't find it too terrible, but I also grew up in the tri-state area off of a different great lake so I could have just been used to it.

Bowen

Man only getting 3 days... hm.

Go with Ceres' posts. I'd say of the choices I'd shoot for NYC or DC. DC being my fav, but if you can only do 3 days that makes it hard, but not impossible. NYC is mostly shopping, if you don't like to shop or eat, NYC might be bad news.

DC is lots of historical stuff. San Fran is like a mix of the two.

I'd avoid the other places unless you've got friends/family there you want to visit. Not to detriment Seattle or Chicago but of your choices those are boring as shit.

zerzhul

Boston is also a nice mix of history and other things, but I'd probably pick DC over Boston for the time frame.

ceres

All I know of San Diego is that it has an aquarium, a small science museum, and is beautiful, but still a little to chilly in the winter to do the beach.

cmsamo

San Diego has an Aircraft Carrier! It's awesome - the USS Midway museum! I also recommend the old town (Mexican influences) and Seaworld. We went in March and the place was really hot. I don't know what the weather would be like earlier in the year. I've never been to SF but my gf has and she loves it there.

Akilae

bowen wrote: »

NYC is mostly shopping, if you don't like to shop or eat, NYC might be bad news.

Huh?

The Metropolitan Museum of Art
The Cloisters
The Museum of Modern Art
The Guggenheim
The American Museum of Natural History
The Intrepid
Empire State Building
Broadway
Off-Broadway
9/11 Memorial
New York Stock Exchange
Lincoln Center
Prospect Park
Central Park
Yankee Stadium

But for a three day trip, I would agree San Fran is a better choice. Just flying to NYC will take too much time.

Skeith

I'm totally biased but I say SF if it's for that short a span of time. Mostly because NY is friggin huge and I'm a history nerd so I'd need more time than that in DC.

edit- also, if you do settle on SF, make sure to get tickets to the Academy of Sciences as soon as you're sure.

Varinn

You are all fantastic, I am in the middle of studying for a big exam tomorrow and don't have much free time to respond. I will read through and respond appropriately either tonight or tomorrow, there are so many great, valid points to consider

Deebaser

[

Akilae wrote: »

bowen wrote: »

NYC is mostly shopping, if you don't like to shop or eat, NYC might be bad news.

Huh?

The Metropolitan Museum of Art
The Cloisters
The Museum of Modern Art
The Guggenheim
The American Museum of Natural History
The Intrepid
Empire State Building
Broadway
Off-Broadway
9/11 Memorial
New York Stock Exchange
Lincoln Center
Prospect Park
Central Park
Yankee Stadium

But for a three day trip, I would agree San Fran is a better choice. Just flying to NYC will take too much time.

Yeah.
@bowen you're doing NY wrong. Hell, even sitting on the six train looping from the downtown to the uptown track at City Hall is amazing.

enlightenedbum

The American Museum of Natural History is pretty awesome. Definitely worth going to. And spells Inca in a way I've never seen before!

Similarly if you take up the Chicago suggestion: the Field Museum.

MichaelLC

Elin wrote: »

I know this city isn't mentioned but Chicago is a pretty neat city and they have this super easy tourist card. It gives decent saving for the big attractions and some of them allow you to skip the lines to see the attractions. Not sure if other major cities have anything like this.

Chicago is the perfect choice. We's gots all these museums and culchas for everbodys! You likes fishes? We got the fishes! You wanna take your lady friend out for some shopping? We gots that too.

Yous got yourself a nice maple supply up theres. Be a real shame if something were to say happen to it, again. So come vists us and you ain't got to worry about a thing.

Varinn

Crap! She just texted to say she is planning her trip to New York for February! I will post back when I convince her it is a terrible, terrible idea. I am not at the point of wanting to ruin any surprises just yet so I will have to convince her to hold off, or let her in on my plans.

Esh

Varinn wrote: »

Crap! She just texted to say she is planning her trip to New York for February! I will post back when I convince her it is a terrible, terrible idea. I am not at the point of wanting to ruin any surprises just yet so I will have to convince her to hold off, or let her in on my plans.

Just tell her. Say "Hey, for your gift this year, I want to pay for the tickets and hotel and lets do this together". Something as logistically nightmarish as a trip to another country is not something you should pre-plan and surprise someone with. Ever.

Bowen

Deebaser wrote: »

[

Akilae wrote: »

bowen wrote: »

NYC is mostly shopping, if you don't like to shop or eat, NYC might be bad news.

Huh?

The Metropolitan Museum of Art
The Cloisters
The Museum of Modern Art
The Guggenheim
The American Museum of Natural History
The Intrepid
Empire State Building
Broadway
Off-Broadway
9/11 Memorial
New York Stock Exchange
Lincoln Center
Prospect Park
Central Park
Yankee Stadium

But for a three day trip, I would agree San Fran is a better choice. Just flying to NYC will take too much time.

Yeah.
@bowen you're doing NY wrong. Hell, even sitting on the six train looping from the downtown to the uptown track at City Hall is amazing.

@Deebaser the only reason I threw NYC out the window there is because you can see a lot of the same stuff in DC, and more, for free. Finding that stuff without a guide, is difficult, plus, a lot of those are keyed to specific interests. Stock exchange, parks (wat who goes to parks on vacation?), yankee stadium might not be prime choices.

I'd say stuff like the national mall, all the Smithsonian (there's a lot of them), the DC zoo would win there (in that time frame), since you can hit like 2-3 a day if you plan right.

I still like NYC but that's more of a week long thing than 2-3 days! (honestly it was really, really more about shopping).

Certainly better than LA though. God, I can't imagine that as a vacation.

ceres

Varinn wrote: »

Crap! She just texted to say she is planning her trip to New York for February! I will post back when I convince her it is a terrible, terrible idea. I am not at the point of wanting to ruin any surprises just yet so I will have to convince her to hold off, or let her in on my plans.

Uh, better plan: get her to include you in that one and offer to pay. If she has her heart so set on NYC convincing her not to make the plans so you can book something different on your own is not so great. Really, let her plan it, just ask if you can go together and if so you can make it her present. In other words, let her in on your plans. February isn't so far off, and trips take planning.

Esh

ceres wrote: »

Varinn wrote: »

Crap! She just texted to say she is planning her trip to New York for February! I will post back when I convince her it is a terrible, terrible idea. I am not at the point of wanting to ruin any surprises just yet so I will have to convince her to hold off, or let her in on my plans.

Uh, better plan: get her to include you in that one and offer to pay. If she has her heart so set on NYC convincing her not to make the plans so you can book something different on your own is not so great. Really, let her plan it, just ask if you can go together and if so you can make it her present. In other words, let her in on your plans. February isn't so far off, and trips take planning.

This sounds...so familiar...

Varinn

Alright, Esh and Ceres I took your advice and did the unthinkable. I told her what I was thinking, and she does not accept unless I go with Because of my work schedule this will likely not allow for a longer trip to New York as she wanted to do, and will mean something more like a 4 day in SanFran. I will try to talk to her soon and see what we can come up with, if anything at all. Gifting secretly would be so much easier if I didn't work so much, and she wasn't in uni still!

Esh

Gifting secretly could have also ended up with you scheduling something that she couldn't do due (teehee) to time/work/school constraints. You did the right thing. Make sure to make a "What to do in SF" thread once you've gotten the tickets. I can recommend some great bars and eating spots. Make sure to hit the California Academy of Arts and Sciences and Japan Town while you're there.

Why are you making a face at you having to go? That sounds great to me...

Varinn

It is great, and I would gladly go to New York and DC but scheduling around my work is going to be nearly impossible as we have a massive project coming up in the spring. This is huge for my company, and I'm a lead on the team tasked with making sure everything goes according to plan. The machine installs are slated for march with feb being the preparation and lead up to the plant shutdown. Getting time for an extended trip is a dream I cannot hope to achieve, but I can likely swing 3-4 days as I was looking at originally.

ceres

You'll plan a different trip together, and it might not be the NY/DC one she'll be going on, but you and she can still have fun on a shorter trip to somewhere else if she really enjoys traveling, which she seems to.

emimonster

Dude, if I was your gf, and you just said to me "funny you mention a trip to new york because, well..." and then showed me this actual thread, I would SWOON