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the bad joke thread

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Posts

  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    How do French people calculate probability?

    One peut-être, two peut-être, three peut-être, four...

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    Had to Google a translation but I still liked it.

    SirToasty on
  • SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    April 22
    If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

  • Sir FabulousSir Fabulous Malevolent Squid God Registered User regular
    That joke physically pains me.

    pickup-sig.php?name=Orthanc

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  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    That joke physically pains me.

    Think about what it does to the cow.

    Nod. Get treat. PSN: Quippish
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    That joke physically pains me.

    It curdles my blood

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




  • SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    I sorta wish I had those missing pages. I don't want to post these jokes twice.

  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Syphyre wrote: »
    I sorta wish I had those missing pages. I don't want to post these jokes twice.

    Truly, the cruelest joke of all

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




  • SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    Actually, I'm thinking about posting the April 18-27 from my wife's Mark Twain calendar instead.

  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Syphyre wrote: »
    Actually, I'm thinking about posting the April 18-27 from my wife's Mark Twain calendar instead.

    I kinda hope you go to that calendar and it has the missing pages in it

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    That joke physically pains me.

    It curdles my blood

    It mooves me to tears.

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  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    These jokes are getting whey too cheesy.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    Is someone ready to start an udder thread?

  • TayaTaya Registered User regular
    edited April 2015
    Did somebody say BEEF???

    Hamburger Hall of Flame

    Walter Kronkheight
    Famed newsman Walter Kronkheight devours 17 hamburgers a day wrapped up in sections of such newspapers as The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post, etc. Says Kronkheight, "This makes it easy for me to digest the news!"

    Parker Plotz
    Sculptor Parker Plotz, of Bayou, Louisiana, has made it possible for people who don't like beef to really want to eat it. Plotz shapes chopped beef into chickens, fish, vegetables, and candy bars... and this fools non-beef eaters into thinking that they are eating other foods! Plotz, amazingly, has never heard one beef from anyone.

    Name two tennis stars who are famous in the hamburger world.
    Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o's Burger King!

    Who puts holes in meat patties?
    Dunkin' Hamburgers!

    Who is the most important person in a European town?
    The burger-meister!

    Why do burgers laugh when you surround them with pickles?
    Who knows - maybe they're picklish!

    Which opera is about our meaty friends?
    "The Barbecue of Seville"!

    What did they tell the burger who enlisted in the Army?
    "You've got no beef, soldier!"

    What is the hamburger's favorite story?
    "Hansel and Gristle"!

    Taya on
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited April 2015
    That is probably the worst selection yet, Taya. Jesus.

    Fuckin Dunkin' Hamburgers and Bille Jean-o's Burger King. How are those supposed to be punchlines?

    facetious on
    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • TayaTaya Registered User regular
    The book gets worse and worse as it goes. The very last joke is my favourite but I'm going in order. Hopefully there is a new thread or you will never know.

  • GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    The very last joke is the book reminding you that you paid money for it

  • SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    As soon as this thread gets closed, I'm going to make a new something.

  • Sir FabulousSir Fabulous Malevolent Squid God Registered User regular
    Teach a man to build a fire, and he will be warm for a night.
    Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
    Teach a man to set another man on fire and not only will the man on fire be warm for the rest of his life, the penal system will ensure that the man whom you taught will be warm for the rest of his life.

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  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Geth...

  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    Another fine bit of wisdom from the bad kids jokes tumblr:

    why is it wrong to be frends with a fish.

    they are poopy

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • Jacques L'HommeJacques L'Homme BAH! He was a rank amateur compared to, DR. COLOSSUS!Registered User regular
    The British chemist asks a Canadian chemist about her work.

    "Oh, I work with arsoles."

    The British chemist response, that he, too, dislikes his colleagues.

  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    A father walks into his son's room, and goes "Son, if you keep masturbating, you're gonna go blind"

    The son beckons him with a wave "Over here, Dad!"

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This discussion has been closed.